Tag Archives: Turkish Delight

2nd November – CSH3 – I Got Gas

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I Got Gas setting a run in Maejo, but not from the mansion! He teamed up with HRA, and following the hash signs reminded me of a scouting mission that HRA and I abandoned a few years back. This time the hares had got us permission to run in the grounds of the Maejo University farm! I remember previously thinking ‘there must be some good trails here’, so finally we’d find out!

Hare brief (not so brief) over we set off and there was a nice little downhill stretch – knowing there would be uphills later, I took off only to get the first V check wrong. None of Your Business was briefly ahead till he flunked the 2nd check. Turkey managed to get ahead through his usual Silent Running strategy – fortunately it didn’t last long! Heading right, perhaps we were going to use the paper we’d seen on the road on the way in? I’d thought it was a decoy, but it turned out it was part of the trail – useful information, as I got to that check first and led the way.

Things were going well for me, and the pace was fast – very fast for a hash! Then the young visitor suddenly appeared behind me, somehow managing to chase me down! He had some form, and when he hit the rest of the checks right, not even Brown Finger could catch him. Yes – Brown Finger was back – great to run alongside him again! The run was 35 minutes, with the uphill finish the worst part, but a good work out, and easily long enough given the heat and the pace on flat trails. A nice set, with many trails we haven’t used.

16th Sept – CH3 – Horny Monkey

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Mr. 100% man Horny Monkey! At 4pm I was chatting with Poo as a storm came by – my office grew dark, the rains came down, we both debated whether to brave it or not… Fortunately when I got there the rain was easing, and co-hare Tip Toe was strolling around with an air of confidence, although he was noticeably concerned about a lack of Monkey.

Finally the hash cash showed up, we had an elaborate harebrief where 1 skiddy stick just wouldn’t be enough to get the point across. Harebrief done he pointed us off straight into some thick undergrowth – that was only the start… The thick undergrowth was mild compared with what was to come. We got scratched up with the typical Chiang Mai stickers, Sups took a face plant, and we ended up going around in circles in a “field” – memorable as I remembered another crappy run there! That inside information let me avoid one deadend, but I still hit plenty of skiddy sticks.

We finally hacked our way through the fields and finally hit a short bit of running trail. Short… it took us up to the road so we could hit some tarmac. The last bit was bizarrely twisty. We know Horny likes to set 10k runs on a postage stamp, and today was another one of those – well 5k anyway. When we got back to a bridge after a 2k loop, I realised how close I was to finding the wrong true trail. I guess it worked the way he intended it to, and certainly kept us running around in circles.

15th September – CH4 – Mr. Poo

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The words “Monumental Fuck Up” have long been associated with hares such as Horny Monkey & Turkish Delight, but today we had Mr. Poo as the hare – could he break into the elite group of haring disasters? Well, he tried…

When I arrived Poo was already covered in mud, sweat and powder, so it was slightly confusing when he announced he’d be live haring and ran off carrying just 2 small powder bottles. The hare brief was so brief & confusing that we didn’t really know what to do. Rather than chasing him, we sat down and discussed things for a while and when he didn’t show up again, we reluctantly set off in the direction he’d gone.

At the 2nd check Semen Sores ran into Poo coming the other way. Apparently he had got lost, chatted up some monks and thought we would be somewhere else (other than on his trail). SS was so surprised that he forgot to ravage Poo, and let him get away. As reinforcements arrived we found the powder, including an arrow that pointed in the wrong direction. Itchy Bitchy was about to head back to the A saying ‘screw this’ – Able Seaman hadn’t even bothered setting off. Incredibly Kwazi found trail from further along the path and we started to piece things together. A couple more circle checks and there was an option to go up the mountain – Suckit was scared off by a bull, but Kwazi, Hump me Now and myself set off up the hill, only for trail to be called off to the right. Kwazi opted to keep going up the hill, and after a brief toilet break I went back to set off on the true trail. Only when I got back to the circle, Mr. Poo was busy ‘fixing’ the trail – he started following Kwazi up the hill.

Still confused I set off after the “ONON” calls, as Poo told me it didn’t count as catching him – apparently we were supposed to run the pre-laid loop before having our way with him. Up the hill, and we ran into Kwazi going the other way. The checks were easy now as we knew where the trail couldn’t go. As I checked off the last circle, I suddenly spotted Poo making a break for it, laying powder from off to the left. He promptly wrote the On-In over my shoes, and raced with SS back to the A bucket.

If the objective was to confuse us, he succeeded…

15th Sept – CSH3 – Snail Trail

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So, Snail Trail had the genius to send the housekeeper away so Skiddy had to set the run… Skiddy sent Frozen Dick & Humperdick out to find a new area for the CH3 1000th run, and then promptly stole the runsite for this run… Nice effort! A good run site, and nice shelter overlooking a pleasant lake, if only there was accommodation, we could have stayed over for an outstation!

We got let loose and at the first circle check I decided to climb the steep mountain to the right, rather than the obvious little trail that went straight on – it was only my first mistake, getting down the cliff was harder than climbing up it. I got back with the group, and quickly got another check wrong. Things weren’t clicking for me early on.

Chasing back from another wrong check, None of Your Business and I got attacked by a swarm of bees. Damn it! Semen Soars was also screwing everything up, and finally I got to a circle that was being checked left and right. There seemed to be a way through the forest straight on, and at last a bit of luck as there was some paper hanging there. I’d got something right, and at just the right time as the trail had to start turning left and back towards the A.

A hash of 2 parts, from then on I nailed everything, with Patrick trying to chase me down in between each check. I even picked the Skiddy Check leaving Patrick to go in search of sticks while Turkish, Square Rooter and I carried on. Finally we got to the base of the dam, and there was a cute little trail that climbed up the side to the OnIn on the dam. Great run on some new trails.

12th August – CH3 – Soapy

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After so many years of hashing, I’ve never managed to run on a Soapy run – apparently that’s because today was the first time he’s set one!!! After 7 years of planning, 7 years of preparation, 7 years of examining different runsites, this would surely be the greatest run in hash history?!? Well, at least not as bad as Horny’s run yesterday!

At the run site there was a good turn out, including 2 young athletic looking types, who hopped out of Humperdick’s truck. More Dutchies!? With no Dogshit, I guess they figured they’d try and get back to quota? An elaborate harebrief, and we were set off down a familiar hill, straight into Suckit country. I let gravity take hold and found myself alone at the bottom of the hill, following trail to a V check. Turkish (who from now I on I will refer to as “C”, short for “C*NT”), ignored the check and came with me up a short hill. At the next X check, he again ignored the check, following me along the straight option. The lazy “C” wouldn’t check on his own, so I went back and tried another way. He stood and watched, and eventually we were both wrong. I didn’t hear him again all run, and if I don’t see him again, it would be too soon.

Fortunately the “young bucks” knew how to play the game, albeit with a racist theme… Things got a bit confusing a couple of times when the trails cut back on themselves, and pretty soon we were cutting right and arcing back towards the A. Too soon surely? He’d said it was short, and he didn’t lie about that… After 3.25km I was back at the A.

22nd July – CH3 – Turkish Delight

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I have very low expectations when I see Turkey’s name on the hareline, but being determined to get out there and do something, I set off as it was close to town. The area behind the new expo on canal road puts us somewhere between the boy scout camp and 700 year stadium… I’ve been curious what was back there, and was quite surprised to drive up to the runsite overlooking a large lake that I had no idea was there.

Turkish was beaming, but the sky was darkening, and Chuckie was looking concerned. Sure enough the rains started moments before Turkish was due to give his harebrief. And it was torrential… We were all very reluctant to set off, but there was no sign of it easing and Turkey had clearly put some efforts in. Chuckie ran to his bike to get his poncho and followed along behind us vainly trying to keep his feet dry – ha!

The rain kept coming, and in slippery conditions I found myself quickly at a point that I didn’t feel comfortable getting through with my dodgy ankle. Frozen Dick passed me his walking stick, and I got through! My vanity made me pass the stick right back! I’m young – I don’t need that! Until after about another 100m or so, Frozen Dick suggested I would be better off with the stick – and he was right… Getting through the first km or so was tricky – we slipped and slided our way around the lake which had looked quite nice before, but was now just a mudbath that stank like a raw sewage overflow. I’m sure when Turkish had set off it would have been fine, but by now it was treacherous. Behind me CW kept dawdling along, chatting with Sups – they were clearly going to short cut at the first opportunity. I kept on going trying to stick with Dirty Pervert.

Thankfully we got away from the lake and headed into the hills, along some great trails that I knew must be there, but I didn’t recognise any of them. We cut through a barbed wire fence – did Turkey do that? Not sure what we were getting into (or out of?), but the trail was good. I was keeping up as Skid Mark and Humperdick did all the work up front. Each time they screwed up, I managed to get back to the front and I lost count of how many times Skiddy skiddied by. One particularly memorable check had the 2 FRBs charging down the hill, only for me to find trail back up the hill – I was astounded – sure Square Rooter had helped set this trail – there is no way that Turkish was capable of this??? Fortunately there was good camaraderie between a small field, and we worked together to find the way back, as I confess I was lost and disoriented.

A fun mellow circle was followed by the realisation that on a “Buddha Day” all the bars / restaurants are closed with no hope of more beer etc. A few of us ventured to Nong Flukes, and were greeted with the realisation, that while they couldn’t sell us alcohol, they had no objection to us bringing our own in! Fortunately I had a few leos in the car (as one does for emergencies like this!) so we ended up having a remarkably good OnOnOn! Again, I’m not sure when I will get to type this again, but ‘great job Turkish Delight’!

10th June – CH3 – Square Rooter

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Uhoh… Square Rooter as the hare… and he’s chosen the Boy Scout Camp… We know you can’t find a flat run there, but somehow Sqroot always manages to find even higher hills for us to climb. I was searching for excuses – some niggling injuries, perhaps overworked? But the runsite was right next to my office, and I would have to drive past it to get home. Oh well, lets give it a go…

It started as expected with the trail leading straight up the side of a waterfall, and it didn’t get much better! The hare had warned us not to check to the left at the first circle, but the trail set off to the left anyway, but only briefly before a steep scramble down (the last we saw of Belly Dancer), only to start climbing again – relentlessly.

There was a brief moment of enjoyment as Turkish Delight enthusiastically followed trail up a steep part only to find a circle and have to come back down again. Finally we reached the ‘top’ and started descending. Newly named ‘I-Ran’ took a nasty tumble and bleed his way back to the circle. Exhausted! About 3km, but a good 45 minutes work out – longer for Belly who came in from the wrong direction some time later.

27th May – CH3 – Turkish Delight

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I showed up a bit late for the run, and arrived mid hare brief – that meant I missed out on the alternative instructions for V checks. Moments ahead of Sups & Humperdick I set off to chase the pack down.

A bit on the road and then up into the hills – it was HOT!!! Sucking down oxygen it was hard going, and with limited checks catching up was impossible. Chuckie ran through the first 5 checks or so, and the pack was split up.

I finally caught up with Swing Low and we straight lined down the side of a cliff ripping trees up in the direction of the calls… – only to find Superman smiling smugly at the bottom coming from another direction. My legs weren’t working, it felt like running through jam, so Sups and I decided to re-check one of the confusing V checks, fortunately finding Chuckie blistering the pace back into the bucket.

Actually a great trail, great route, just could have done with a few more checks to keep people together, and give a chance for the late comers to catch up!

27th October – CSH3 – Slippery When Wet

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A virgin hare – which means weeks of panicking in the desperate hope that everything works perfectly! Slippery was a nervous wreck for an hour or so before the run as he busily counted people as they arrived in the desperate hope they reached the magic #40 – which would trigger the reduced entrance fee to Ratchapreuk. He shouldn’t have worried, over 50 hashers showed up. Knowing we would be going inside Royal Flora, meant we knew it would be a flat run, no mountains and probably not the longest run/walk. The hare brief consisted of promises that we could short cut, along with some confusing new checks.

Then we were pointed across the car park in the direction of the park entrance. Cunningly the hares had extended the run by using the car park half a km from the entrance! Once inside the first circle was pivotal to know which way around the park we’d go – I got it right, left it was. Immediately I did a little loop around a garden just to get back to where the short cutters could see me.

At the next check there was a large lake, which surely we’d go around? Nope. After a few more loops around in circles we had Belly Dancer leading Big Top and others straight lining their way to keep up. The trail took us up some stairs, but at the bottom there were arrows pointing in all directions. What the hell, I’ll play the game and run up the stairs only to run around a big circular balcony while those below watched and laughed. Again Belly was at the front, and his competitive spirit pushed him to run through a check back to find inevitable trail further along, calling us to confusion as we doubled back on the trail in the wrong direction.

When Turkish Delight and I finally figured it out we found Skid Mark and Humperdick already ahead along with Angry Inch. How they managed that I have no idea! We doubled back past the temple, and again were completely confused searching for trail which had perhaps been washed away. All of a sudden it was Just Cumming as the FRB – wtf? How did he get there? Humperdick stood grumbling about the dutch windmill missing an arm as we ran through the international gardens. Finally heading back towards the entrance with Skid Mark and Turkish Delight, and with Unplugged, Plan and Big Top short cutting their way towards us.

From the looks of facebook this morning, while we were busy running, most of the ladies just went for a photo shoot in the park, posing in front of different flowers etc. Either way it was a very different hash. When hares try to do something different, it always takes some extra efforts, and is also prone to turning into a fuck up! This time, they’d thought it out, and it worked – lots of smiling faces for the circle. OnOn.

22nd October 2012 – Dog Shit and Skidmark

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It had been a big weekend of hashing.  The visitors from Hong Kong had enjoyed the sights of Chiang Mai on Friday night, along with some locals (though many of them ended up having to make their own plans).  Throbbing Ninja had tried to kill us all on Saturday, and there had been two great hashes on Sunday.  How could we crown this?  Apparently with a beautiful run from a beautiful resort with a swimming pool!

The first confusion on the run was a circle check in a river from which we found more trail and another circle.  One of the visitors asked if it was ‘trail on’ but International Hashing Rules expert Chack Wow didn’t know the term (apparently it means that you call ‘on on’ if you see paper).  However we couldn’t decide if we had got there ‘legitimately’ and wandered around aimlessly before one of the Hong Kong visitors found it back across the bridge we had just crossed.  Superman, who’d been standing there waiting, led the charge and we were off again.

There were an enormous number of checks (Skidmark had promised 15!) which kept the pack well together.  A length of trail along a stream meant: trail, water, trail, water in a way that kept Mr Poo and Chack Wow busy, until Mr Poo stumbled off up the wrong hill.   Around this point Hunperdick caught up and pointed out he couldn’t hear Turkish Delight calling, much as when he is actually at the run.

The visitors completely missed the Skiddy Sticks towards the end of the run and while checking some people may have gone through crops, which led a local farmer to fire his gun in the air and encourage some yellow-bellied hashers (Superman, Gready, Tiptoe, Frozen Dick) to take a different route in and miss the swimming pool.

Circle was great (congratulations to Belly) and Nutcracker was given his fantastic touring name ‘Finger up my ass’!  Success all round! :)