Tag Archives: Tip Toe

6th April – CH4 – BMY & CW

Posted on April 9, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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It was the day after BMY and Big Top’s fabulous “mini” ball breaker (circa 15k = mini???) and I was looking forward to an easy, scenic hangover run through some of the beautiful countryside we are so blessed to find in abundance surrounding Chiang Mai.
Dr Byte and Chucky Whoooooooooooo had promised us something special – a live hare run to impress the many visitors who had joined us on the Sunday Happy Hash as a precursor to the celebratory 1000th CH3 run on Monday.
All through the previous week, the hares had suggested some charming hills and complementary flat trails – Chucky the supremo uphill gardener haring the hilly bits and Byte making sure we didn’t get to deploy the KY gel on the flat bits.
And so, after convincing our visitors on the songthaew they were in for a treat, it was a bit of a surprise when we arrived at the A site – a concrete shell of a house on a large dusty building site full of similarly incomplete, ghost-grey structures. Not to worry I thought, the lush green hills were only a short distance away. Surely we would be heading in that promising direction . . .?
The hare brief was suitably brief, with BMY suggesting the girls set off 10 seconds after the hares and the men a full 20 minutes after . . . mooh-ha-ha-ha! But the girls didn’t fancy the idea for some unimaginable reason and we all headed out on the chase after the obligatory five minutes had elapsed.
Belly Dancer spurted forth like a lame hippo in a tutu straight towards the main trail leading up into the hills, ignoring the paper trail the hares had set. Did he have inside info? Or had he been “misinformed” by the devious hares? Sadly it turned out to be the latter. The trail led us out into an open expanse of fields where a centrally placed circle check had us checking left towards the hills. But alas, the hares, intent on fucking over the FRBs at any cost and ensuring their own anal virginity – well at least for the purposes of this run – turned right, right back into the construction site via an un-happy-hash-like gully where I was fortunate enough to be on hand to give Itchy and Sleepsy a hand down and then a conveniently placed hand back up again – mooh-ha-ha-ha.
More grey dust trails, past more grey shell houses and over a familiar main road; and then we reached the familiar criss-cross warren of running trails used by the local fitness community. Good flat running trails. Many checks to hold us back. Lots of puffing and panting after yesterday’s “marathon”.
And then we emerged from the rabbit’s maze onto a flat, grassy field – it somehow reminded me of Newmarket race course – and back to the main, main road, where the trail led us back to the main road that we had previously crossed.
A long tarmac run; but this was Skid Mark territory and he rightly predicted the old favourite under-the-fence hole. So under we went and were thankfully off the tarmac and back on a dirt trail, the one with the familiar sneaky offshoot to the right, the one leading back to the building site and the A.
I followed the trail to the concrete fence surrounding the building site until I hit a false trail check back. So it was up and over the fence. None of Your Business found the trail on the other side and was first home, punching the air with obvious delight. There were a few stragglers but nothing to cause concern as the reliable Tip Toe was on hand to lead them on and in. Welcome back big man!
Great circle hares, but Big Top was probably right when she said that had it been any hash other than the Happy Hash, you would both have had willies over your heads for the tarmac and dust content of the run. But what do we care – this is the Happy Hash, right? Who needs willies when simple wit and humour will more than suffice?
As with most Happy Hash circles and on-ons (this time at the magnificent Sheryl’s), the magical blend of beer, good-natured splashes, fine food and welcome camaraderie, cast its spell upon us all and all thought and talk of the run eventually dispersed into a delightful alcoholic fog.
Good job hares! But I wonder what would have happened had None of Your Business caught Dr Byte before the end of the run . . . mooh-ha-ha-ha?????!!!!!
Ah, I do so love the Happy Hash!

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20th October – CH4 – Big Top

Posted on October 20, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Talking to Big Top late last night, she was confident the run was nailed down and it would be a good one. So we set off to 10k or so along the Sameong Road, only I set off a bit late forgetting the run started earlier. So when I got to the run site with None of Your Business, we were already chasing out of the A. Fortunately we managed to find the back of the pack, and quickly caught Kwazi Moto and Tip Toe.

I hit the front off an early check, and then quickly fucked up. We headed through a guys house and into a ‘mine’. A strange check had half the pack climbing up the side of the mine, while Humperdick went 150+ metres to find the trail coming back to 50m from the check. Confusing calls as the next check was closer to the previous check than the trail had been! We made it over the ridge and down into the valley the other side, to where it appears the hare screwed up…

Skiddy was leading the way and found his way down to the roads. He also found an easter egg – a secret trail that we weren’t meant to follow – why was there paper there? Further confusion as we could see paper in one direction, and hear Skiddy calling in another. A circle check with trail from 20m on. We quickly got out to the main road. I checked my gps – a bit over 2km into the run. The trail headed along the road, and not so far along there was a check. It confused everyone, as nobody wanted to keep checking on the road, but sure enough the trail went along the road. And on, and on, and on along the road.

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2nd June – CH4 – HRA

Posted on June 3, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Following over complicated directions took us to the A bucket behind the Ag Centre, a familiar area. Looking around at the start, it looked like Semen Sores would have to help with some checking – except, he decided to have a restful day, strolling along with Tip Toe, leaving Square Rooter to help me with the checks. We set off in a slightly different direction – this was good, had HRA found some new trails?

I ran up the first hill with Belly Dancer, and at the first check, chose to go left towards some trails that I hadn’t run before. Sadly it was off to the right back towards the familiar waterfall, but not before Frozen had confused everyone with a false call. Anyway, we slid down into a dry stream bed (apart from Blue Tit, who turned back head spinning from the previous night’s hangover!) Along the creekbed and then up a steep path the other side – I got a check right! Behind me, SR had developed a cunning strategy – if I got the check right, he’d wait at the check for me to call it, but if I was wrong, he’d go and check the right trail. Seriously he didn’t put a foot wrong, while I was all over the place.

Finally we turned down the hill along the usual route down to the waterfall cafe. At last I was home free – but this late in the run I was caught up behind Tip Toe, Cumalot, Screwed Up etc. Somehow the hare had done a stellar job of keeping the pack together. Nice <5km on some nice trails – 46 minutes, ideal!

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28th April – CH4 – Semen Soars

Posted on April 28, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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SS always puts a lot of effort into his runs – before the run he said he’d been out scouting 3 times but wasn’t satisfied. Running at baan Pong resort past San Kampaeng I knew there were plenty of good trails, so I set off with high expectations…

Quickly we were on the trail between the hill and the rice fields – I’ve been here before, in fact I could see the remains of checks from maybe a year back… Skiddy set a run here? Or was it the ball breaker? Who knows?

Off one circle I’d gone about 60m, when I spotted some white hanging in the distance on the fence – looking good I pressed on, but didn’t see any paper until I got to the fence – at which point someone called from towards the rice fields. Strange I was definitely on, it was clearly our paper, but maybe I’d gone too far? I arced around the fence, still on paper, and ran back into a circle check with Suckit coming towards me. Interesting – it seems we both got to the circle check from the wrong direction as there was paper heading off it the other way. A quick regroup, and we decided to head back and joined everyone running around like headless chickens in the field.

As Doggie called in year another direction. Behind me I heard a noise – was it a farmer shouting for us to get off his land? No, it was Semen Soars telling us we were going the wrong way – we were on a different one of his trails! He’d set several false trails while setting the real trail – just to try and confuse us? He pointed Tip Toe and I in the right direction and for once Tip Toe was the FRB! The rest mostly ignored us, and I was ahead, heading back towards the circle I’d already seen. This time I would get it right? Surely? Having already seen the paper, it was surely a no brainer? But as I got to the paper I’d seen before, it seemed like something was wrong. So as Suckit came along to explain what we were supposed to do, I took a nap in the ditch.

Eventually I started heading back as Semen Soars was there setting yet another trail so that we could get back from wherever we were… It felt like I was running backwards and forwards along the same road all evening, with sometimes there being trail, and other times not, but ultimately I don’t think I did what I was supposed to do… Or rather I did, because I got soem exercise and then drank beer… What more could you ask for?

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11th Feb – CH3 – Humperdick

Posted on February 11, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Exhaustion… 2 brutal runs by Skiddy, (inspired by Belly & Square Rooter), over the weekend coupled with an epic afternoon drinking session (inspired by Gascoigne & Big Top) had me feeling worse for wear over my coffee this morning. Nonetheless I made it to work, and my hangover had the common decency to kick in right about the time my class was due to start. Bugger – there could only be one cure for it, so I set off to the hash.

Humperdick Humperdick Humperdick – couldn’t be too bad right? He hasn’t really built a reputation for runs (yet). I mean – apart from them being on canal road. I’m not entirely sure what his style is, but he does put in effort, so I was hopeful he’d be kind and gentle….

We were pointed off and Belly Dancer did his usual olympic sprinter start. My brain told my legs to run, and my legs told my brain to fuck off. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. At the first check Belly went off to the right, and I found the paper straight on. Normally at this point it’s the end of Belly’s charge and we meet him back at the circle for a beer, but not today. Today he’d roided up and was on a mission. He stormed ahead while I fucked up at the first Skiddy check. He was 100m ahead of everyone till he came to a small decline that was about 3 steps down, and by the time he’d crossed it, he was 100m behind. Seriously? Even Horny Monkey passed him!

Into the hills we went and there was a part that confused everyone. Horny Monkey did one route, while Angry Inch, Graven and I did another – neither was right, and when the EVIL MOFO HARE described later what he actually wanted us to do, I was glad about the ‘compromise’ we’d come to. Compromise? Short Cut? Who cares?

The trail started climbing… Who am I kidding? There was no fucking trail… We scrambled over shiggy crap with leaves covering rocks tripping our way over the hill – a familiar trail – I didn’t enjoy it the first time we’d done it… Finally we got out to the guys yard, and he proudly pointed out the paper on his bushes… We meet random people out on trail, but it’s nice when they are happy for us to run through their gardens! I sprinted past GI & AI, and immediately regretted it, taking the wrong option at the gate.

Damn… I tried to run… but my legs resisted… It took some determined self restraint to set off following the paper rather than just shortcutting back to the beer, but I managed. Hardly any more checks, just another 3km or so around and back to the A. At least this bit was flat. I finally got back some 10 minutes or so after the FRBs, but it was a long time before Frozen Dick dragged in the stragglers; Slippery When Wet, Fishy Fingers and Tip Toe.

Sups had thought better of the whole affair and done a “Festering Tool”.

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25th November – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on November 28, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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We all got word of Itchy Bitchy’s poor dead dog just before the CSH3 run on Saturday. CH4 committee members Mr. Poo and Byte My Yahoo pondered worrisomely throughout the night trying to decide the best course of action. Yahoo decided that he was up for the challenge of setting a non-scouted run in an area that he always gets lost in. When I pulled up to the A site, I was happy to see that he had returned alive and in post-shower bliss though slightly disappointed that he HAD remembered to bring his towel (unlike yesterday). That wasn’t the first bent over bum I’d be seeing that day, but it was perhaps the finest. 😉

With the Lanna Bush Fang and Bunny Pai outstations taking place over the weekend, we weren’t really sure who would be running. Fortunately, Anything, Unplugged and Frozen Dick had all made it back. We could all see where the paper trail began early on, and so Frozen Dick set off immediately without waiting to listen to the full hare brief – racing bastard! The first circle check was slightly confusing as no one was really sure who was supposed to do the checking. BmY had set the run, Chuck Wao had such a terrible hangover that he couldn’t even make it to the run and Mr. Poo was looking rather slow and haggard – possibly due to the unusual adventure of him staying at the Hash Pub past midnight. No, he didn’t turn into a pumpkin, just a tired old man more like his own age. :)

Having not scouted the run beforehand, it was clear that BmY was getting us as lost at his checks as he was when he was setting it. Hashers dispersed in all directions led mostly by FRB bunnies Anything, Beautiful Box, Crazy Crack, Can’t Stop Cumming and Cock Climber. Finally, we found the ‘On’ some couple hundred of meters away with Grumbledick pondering BmY’s ‘mistake’. Having done a similar scouting / setting at the same time run last week, I knew there were more of these kinds of checks to cum.

There were quite a few, in fact, in which some hashers waited for nearly 5 minutes (mostly bent over picking grass needles out of their shoes) at the check due to numerous hidden trails and everyone unsure of who was up ahead checking already. At one particular circle check Beautiful Box, followed by a deeply entranced Human Excrement, passed straight through a blatant False Trail AND Checkback bar – maybe they wanted to spend some time in the woods alone together? Luckily, I saw it and we all headed back to a call from Anything who then passed right through a V-check. Though I was fairly certain that she had gone the correct way, I checked to my right anyhow, closely followed by Mr. Poo, down what was of course the wrong trail – darn it – and then was off to try and catch up to Anything once again.

At another circle check, hashers trampled deep into the bush failing to think about the 360 degrees scenario. Though I’m not sure who found the ‘On’, it was Frozen Dick that bellowed out to bring back together hashers checking every which way but the right one. A very narrow barbed wire fence slowed everyone down except for Crazy Crack who leaped through with perfect precision. Frozen Dick had to be dragged underneath by about half a dozen hashers and was slightly peeved to discover from the hare later that there had been a more accessible gateway about 20 meters or so away. EVIL hare!

Frozen Dick’s GPS came in handy when he gave it a look at the last check before the main road. “That way!” he stated with certainty giving both of us the FRB advantage. But, someone was already in front of us and had kicked out the circle checks heading straight back to the A. I could see Mr. Poo and Crazy Crack up ahead jogging around each other in circles in what I presumed was a False Trail and so was happy to spot them just as I was passing a nice trail heading left. Humperdick was cutting across to meet me though failed to inform anyone of the False Trail making him a newly inducted member of the CUNT family.

As we headed up a slight incline to the On-In, I could hear Cock Climber and Can’t Stop Cumming behind me complaining of how slow they had been running all day. Perhaps a little too much Spider Peeing for both of them? We’re all still trying to figure out what that is exactly – definitely a splash to remember for next week! It was a fun run followed by a fun circle though slightly delayed due to the antics of Ravenous, Codpiece and Tip Toe! Some of us DID wonder how they would make it through that barbed wire – a moot point as they somehow ended up at the Canal Road!!! After the circle, we headed to the OnOnOn to celebrate Bar Bin Doll’s birthday!!!

On-On

Big Top

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19th November – CH3 – Skid Mark

Posted on November 20, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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In honour of Superman’s 600th run, Skiddy set the trail close by Sup’s office and spent a good while explaining to the Songthaew driver how to get there. Nonetheless we set off on time, and jogged along past some dogs to the first check, which most of immediately got wrong as we chose not to check through someone’s garden. Anyway, it wouldn’t be the last time I screwed up and seemed to spend most of my time coming back from checking in the wrong places. One of my bad checks left me so far off trail that most of the hashers thought I’d short cut. Nope I was just a long way behind for a long time. When I overtook Frozen he asked where I’d come from. I gradually picked off Tip Toe, Superman, Sticky Wicket, Slippery When Wet, and eventually got to the back of the FRBs as they looked after the Skiddy Sticks.

I turned back and quickly picked up the paper going back in the opposite direction. I hit the front of the pack and my luck changed as I ran through the next few checks with voices getting fainter behind me. The last circle caught me out though and I spent some time checking along the road before cutting into the field. I could hear Skiddy roaring with laughter in that direction, so I knew I must be close. Turns out I found the beer before the On-In, but went back to guide the pack through a tiny tunnel.

Just about all my legs wanted after 3 days consecutive hashing. Shame about the circle! 😉

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5th November – CH3 – Frozen Dick

Posted on November 5, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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After a long absence, my first run back with the male hash and circumstance led it to be Frozen Dick and Belly Dancer… Of course I can’t forget when Belly left us out in the wild in the dark, and Frozen has a history in that area of setting 11+km runs that got fucked up – what could the pair of them concoct together???

The hare brief was brief – especially by Frozen Dick standards – and we set off along the edge of a lake to a circle check next to a weir. Of course it would be across the weir, but only Skiddy followed me over and we dispersed through the myriad of trails that were there. There were lots of good trails on the other side of the water, and only after we’d exhausted the nice trails did I check the shiggy crappy trail that ran along the waterside. Frozen had pulled a chair up to watch from the other side, so it was pretty clear I was onto something. Sure enough I was in shit, but apparently this was the trail.

We hit a road and so the tarmac began. I ran the wrong way, I ran further the wrong way, it seemed every direction I set off in was wrong… Dogs attacked, and the pack caught up as Poo found trail leading up the hill – only we weren’t going up the hill, that was just a lamely marked false trail. Back to the road where the trail was marked on the back of trees, but it was clearly on tarmac. Another circle had me way off trail to the left, and Poo not spotting the crappy false trail to the right. More tarmac!

Finally we cut off the road and Skiddy was leading along a muddy track. We ran straight past a circle hidden away to the right. Nobody was interested in checking right, so we all ran straight to the paper. Humperdick didn’t like the look of the next check, but after around 150+++ metres I found paper and called on. The V was redundant, as Poo ran over the hill while I ran around it.

Then there was a circle by a little lake / quarry type thing. It was familiar ground – Just Cumming had run us here just a few weeks back. It doesn’t go anywhere – at least it doesn’t go anywhere nice… I checked around in circles around the lake, only to hear Poo calling up the hill way in the distance… I jogged over and had a look as the trail went up. Square Rooter decided to go for it. I looked the opposite direction at the white pagoda where my car was…

I was concerned about Tip Toe, and so helped him walk back… 😉 Meanwhile Sups and Missing Link had already turned back. Kwazi had done his own run from the start. 2 days in a row I turned back at the base of a mountain after 4-5 km…

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28th October – Mr Poo & Knockout

Posted on October 29, 2012 by mrpoo| Leave a comment
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The Location – Mr Poo decided that having his run so close to the Bunny H3 might not be a good idea.  Did he think the males would sneak off to chase the Bunnies?  Or was he afraid that no one would come to his run at all?  The next plan was a run at CMU but building work there had blocked off the most fun trails.  Eventually he decided to set a run at the Fire Prevention Centre. Despite confusing the hell out of Belly Dancer with complicated directions like ‘out of town’ – quite a strong turn out appeared.

The Run – What a crappy run! – only Dog Shit’s 1.3km figure-8 run and of course Belly Dancer’s pointless and dangerous ramble over the mountains with no discernible trails were worse than this!  Even Throbbing Ninja’s recent attempt to kill off hashers by oxygen deprivation at high attitude was preferable to the run Mr Poo set! At best it was 3km – but hashers managed to waste 20 minutes on a slope infested with mosquitoes and bamboo spikes looking for trail. Frustrated with people calling on previously run trail Grease Gorilla intimidated people so much that even when Seaman Soars found the trail he was told that he was wrong.

Chack Wow was on the verge of making one of his ‘executive decisions’ and leading people back but eventually Jungle Chim (or possibly Square Router) insisted that he really was standing on som powder that we had not seen before and we actually continued with the run intended . Mr Poo did redeem himself (a little) by turning up with cold beer and co-hare Knockout at his favourite knocking spot – ooops I mean picnic table. Belly Dancer decided to give up on the rest of the run and  lead the ladies back in – ignoring the powder and voracious yapping dogs that the FRBs faced as they dutifully ran around the lake.

The Circle – an X-rated circle the likes of which I’ve never witnessed before – unmentionable!

Well done Mr Poo – crappy run, great beer and one of the best Happy Hash circles I’ve ever been too!

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7th October – CH4 – Dog Shit

Posted on October 8, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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A 6 hour drive at break neck speed got me back in time for the run – almost… I picked the boys up and got back around 15 minutes late… Never mind, I might catch up. My legs were painful though, so it was a struggle to get moving up and over the first little hill.

The trail was a little confusing, as I later found Dog Shit out there relaying part of it – he ran off to show me the correct route, and I set off in pursuit of distant calls. After a while I came to Tip Toe, who had returned from foreign parts.

The trickiest part of the pursuit was that the checks were squares of paper, that couldn’t be kicked out, and so I had to guess a bit on each of the checks. But soon enough I spied Plan, Square Rooter and Human Excrement. As we headed quickly back towards the cars, the rest were ahead somewhere, with Chuckie and Humps doing better on both the trail and the journey back – hats off to the outstationers who got back in time to support Doggie.

Sorry – no trail map today – I left the GPS on half way back across town.

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