Tag Archives: Sloppy Rod

3rd January – CH4 – His Royal Anus

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HRA teamed up with Crazy Crack and Ravenous to set a run out towards the Tiger Camp. He likes that area, and this time had found a new A-Bucket. He looked proud of himself as he pointed out the luvly shelter he’d found with a luvly bridge next to it. Turns out he had got lost and used this location by default! Crazy Crack guarded the shelter warning us to duck to get in – except for Frozen who collapsed to the ground with a thud.

On Out, and Angry Inch led the way through a rice field and he was away getting the first few checks spot on. I figured the golf course was nearby and wasn’t surprised when we ended up on the canal trail that cuts through the golf course. A check at the end brought the pack back together while we found our way out onto the road. When we hit the road, I figured we had to loop left or right, and with 15 holes on the right and only 3 holes to the left, left seemed the logical choice, and sure enough Graven and I found trail.

Shortly after we found skiddy sticks but I was having a purple patch hitting everything right. UNTIL we got to another road and a V check. What kind of a dumbass checks right? Up the hill in the wrong direction along the fence of a farm that I knew was enormous and impossible to get through? Chuckie and Sloppy Rod got a jump on the rest of us as bizarrely lots of others came following me.

Sloppy was on good form and nailed the last check, before a long run along the mud road and back in on the out trail. A pleasant run in a new area – good work hares!

26th January – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

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Frozen Dick has a unique way of advertising his runs and one way or another… This time he chose “my” area past Doi Saket, and through various conversations over the week he’d mentioned “blue spirit houses” and a couple of other unique landmarks that gave me a damn good idea of the general route of the run – having set a bunch of runs there and previously scouting all the trails (and non-trails) around there, I was confident I knew all the permutations…

We set off with Angry Inch on my tail – literally – he followed me through the first couple of checks until I guessed one wrong – there were 2 main ways to get up onto the mountain, and the hare chose the other one. No matter, we headed back to the road and Angry Inch was lost soon at a check when he went through barbed wire to a trail to nowhere. Shortly further on the other trail into the mountain was on the right, but the trail continued down the road – hmmm… Go for it boys, I turned to Chuckie and we swiftly avoided a false trail and set off up to the hill.

There was a circle check and CW trusted me when I told him it was up the hill to a parallel trail – sure enough we got to powder, and then a circle. This time he didn’t trust me, and while I checked left, he went back to the right. I called “On” but didn’t see him again. I jogged along, simply enjoying running the trails that I’d set as a hare before, but never run. I found the hare’s knife, and spent the rest of the run with it open as I couldn’t figure out how to close it.

Around the ridge we came to the spirit house and down to the creek bed. The circle check there is ingenious – if you don’t know about the trail that runs just a bit further along the creek. Sadly for FD I knew where we were and the likes of Sloppy Rod, Graven Image, Skid Mark and Horny Monkey came straight along the creek following my calls – leaving an unbroken circle for CW to figure out.

The rest of us FRBs were onto the trail behind the mountain – a great running trail! Hard to set checks, as ‘straight’ is the obvious choice. With Sloppy and Graven around 100m behind they kicked out the checks each time I called them, until we reached the inevitable “skiddy sticks” hybrid check, complete with my own powder bottle! I could have set a new trail, but played the game and went back to mark the way over the ridge.

Another couple of checks were straight on with Sloppy snapping at my heels and Graven licking his chops. We hit the fence and though I’d been there a bunch of times I wasn’t sure – left and then right, or right and then left? Bugger… Sloppy slipped away to the left and I hooked up with Graven, Horny Monkey and Skid Mark for the final moments.

That’s my story of the run… It seems other people had many different stories behind me – Mr. Poo sloping off with Doesn’t Get It to make sure she does… Unplugged slipping away with Angry Inch to see if the extra angry inch is worth it… Big Top lagging behind with Redundant Semen to ??? who knows what they were up to, but it took a while for them to get back with FD needing to separate them.

30th December – CH4 – Graven Image

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It had been over a week since we’d hashed at the Ag centre, so Graven took us back and used an A bucket about 200m away from BmY’s A bucket from last week. Cleverly the hare decided to use powder markings and paper squares – and just to make it obvious these paper square were imperceptibly larger than last week. To add to the confusion, he got partway through the hare brief before hopping on Screwed Up’s bike and pissing off. It turned out the run was about as complete as the hare brief!

The important missing information was where the run started, and we were left checking from the start. Fortunately Skiddy found it and set us off up a hill and then straight down to where last week’s run was. Confusion reigned as a circle was found from last week which wasn’t for today, and then another circle from last week was found which was being reused today. The visitors must have been utterly confused as we informed them “yes we can use that circle!” and “no, that one isn’t good!”.

Finally we did choose a circle that we shouldn’t have and a large group of hashers cut a large section out of the run, while a different group took off backwards along the trail, only to find check backs wherever they looked. Meanwhile the rest of us set off in pursuit of the beer check, only to find a different trail and skip a hundred metres or so, including the beer check that Screwed Up was manning.

Graven was out there somewhere and he redirected the trail again to bring people back past the beer stop, only by then Screwed Up had fucked off. Confusion reigned further as a large group of hashers missed the beer stop that wasn’t there a 2nd time and pissed off back to the A bucket where we knew there would be beer.

Suckit had done his own loop in a different direction. Sloppy came back half hour later after checking out the nearby village. At one point Angry Inch was seen sprinting up from one direction and running off in another direction – neither of which had any trail marked.

8th December – CSH3 – Miss Piggy

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Miss Piggy stepped up and volunteered to set the run, recruiting Wooly Jumper as her co-hare. When they announced well in advance it would be at the TV station on Suthep road, we knew there would be some climbing involved… Still a good number showed up and set off.

We ran along a road that’s been used as an On-In more often than an On-Out, and some guy called Ferret came jogging up next to me as though I was sprinting on a treadmill and he was stood chatting next to me. An experienced hasher from out of town decided to circle watch at the first check while I checked the obvious trail. Quickly we turned up the hill, and from the way we scrambled up the side of the hill with a trail I knew of just along side I should have suspected we would be back down again… Foolishly I got the 2nd (of 3) checks wrong, going higher than necessary and was playing catch up down the hill again.

With only one more check to go, it was Sloppy Rod that was testing his mettle against the Ferret, Dead Virgin and I just following in their wake, while Dick Tracy led countless shortcutters to cross paths in front of us. The trail was a short cutters delight!

10th November – CSH3 – Square Rooter

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Is Square Rooter finally mellowing in his old age? He chose a run site with a great view out over some rolling hills, rather than at the bottom of a steep mountain. With positive comments about the run being passed around in advance, we set off with the returning Horny Monkey picking up the first check.

The 2nd circle had us foxed for a while, the trail continuing across the road and through a blocked gate across the field. Duly delayed the pack was together as we ambled up to the ridge line and along the top. There Square Rooter had invented a brand new check – a circle with trail leading in 2 directions, with one trail just stopping. It was Doesn’t Get It that led us nowhere and later Skiddy that found the true trail. By this time I was half a kilometer away at the bottom of the hill. I made attempts to get back, but in the end skirted up the road and intercepted Skiddy as he came down the trail.

With Poo in hot pursuit we hit some fantastic running trails that we could really open up on. With these trails Square Rooter was really spoiling us! From nowhere Skiddy appeared in front of me at a V check – he’d found some cunning short cut. The trail then took us off in a pointless loop back to a few yards from the check back I’d already seen. Beautiful Box, Unplugged, Sticky Wicket and Big Top were all seen passing through the check back and joining the front pack for a slog up the steep hill where the hare was grinning like a toothless fairy.

HRA took a turn at the front only to get the last check wrong, and it was Sloppy Rod that lead the way (IN FLIP FLOPS FFS) down the stony path back to the A. That was a really, really nice run.

13th October – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Mr. Poo chose Frozen Dick to co-hare with him, and that explains why the run was way out past Doi Saket, and not at Wat Umong or the Boy Scout Camp..! Anyway, we made our way out to the outstation, with Superman and Chilly Pussy missing the run start. Sups was duly punished for not getting the beer there on time, and Humps protested the lack of water. Turkish had already confused most of the drivers by stopping at the wrong A site, while Big Top, Geisha Gash and Shagless cruised way past the A bucket, presumably scouting future runs?

After such a shambolic start, we set off and I immediately got the first check wrong, but I caught back up with the FRBs as we approached a lake that I have some less than fond memories of. Jogging down away from the lake, I kicked a snake by mistake – ugh!!! At the cross check, Chuck Wao correctly guessed uphill and after coming back from the check back a largish group proceeded up the hill. They hares had done a good job with the checks, and there were some more tough ones to come – Skiddy found the paper after a great check that brought everyone back together before sending us down a tiny ‘trail’? We scrambled across a hill and as we emerged to a small trail the other end, we were completely disoriented.

Turkish got the pick of the check and cruised off the way we all wanted to go. We suspected him of silent running and followed after him – meanwhile, Sloppy Rod was the silent running c*nt who wanted to win like a racist bastard and refused to call again for the rest of the run. As Chuck Wao, myself and HRA pursued him fortunately he got his just deserts and was later punished on the ice.

The circle was fun, and then it was in to town to be punished by the evil Big Top!

29th September – CSH3 – Just Cumming

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Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Many thanks to the LBH3 – we had a lot of fun without them! In the skies there was a battle between Evil RA and Good RA with the Evil RA sending a storm which turned the planned A site into a muddy swamp and had some hashers making a break and heading home. Those that braved it out saw JC part the clouds and move the runsite to a much better location just up the hill – no more rain – JC had won.

We took off down the road along the paper we’d seen while driving in. Cutting left at the circle check, I led the hashers in a pointless little loop that took us back to the A within about a km, only for JC and Wooly Jumper to point us off down another trail… – Runs like today really make you appreciate it when the hare takes the time to scout their run properly! The rest of the trail could have been set by motorbike, but I got more than my share of checks right 😉

Sounds faded behind me – largely because we had 2 of Chiang Mai’s most notorious silent runners (Turkish and Sloppy) – actually I probably didn’t need to name them, you all knew that anyway. It turns out the pair of them also attempted a short cut in their “Win at All Costs” strategy and promptly got completely lost, leaving a bemused Mr. Poo.

While many circles start well and go downhill, this one started slowly, but rose to a crescendo where Anything topped it off with another performance where she loudly berated Turkey’s erection. Turkey fully deserves his personal block of ice, and had us completely entertained at the OnOnOn… – What does “neuw” mean? I’m buying eskimos…

4th July – CH3 Run – Sloppy Rod

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Today was the first Monday run of the new CH3 Monday hash running back on Mondays. After a brief flirt with Tuesday’s we gathered again on Monday for a run set by Sloppy Rod and his evil cohort Square Rooter. Given the location by the hills of Huay Tung Thao, I was dreading a traditional evil S’Root run.

A good sized group showed up and quickly we set off. The checks came quick and fast, with barely a chance to get running again before we hit the next check -where the hell was this going? Left / Right / back again, it was a start designed to confuse us. Sloppy had warned us that Square Rooter had set some evil check backs of V and X checks – well I think I got the worst of it ploughing 200m though scraping brambles only to find a check back that made me nearly collapse and cry. Battered, bruised and DFL…

Not much further we hit a circle check that Chuck Wao screwed up for everyone and we hit the canal bank with regularly balance beams to cross – I bet Dog Shit enjoyed it!  Finally we hit the most confusing part of the trail where every trail seemed to go back on itself and paper was nowhere to be found – there were more paths than jungle and nobody knew where they were! Finally we hit the road and found paper again – who knows how much we missed, but we were back on the way home and the On-In was there.

We moved the circle down the road so we could find some food and the circle started with a monologue – not a speech, a monologue! Timed for 7 minutes without interruptions, with interruptions it took somewhat longer. Finally the hare’s were splashed and dutifully punished for their transgressions. Sloppy is one devious guy and today he had plenty of tricks up his sleeves.