Tag Archives: Shagless

1st June – CSH3 – Shagless

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It wasn’t Superbitch, but Shagless, from close to 4km up the Sameong Road. On arrival, no sign of the hash cash, but fortunately it was sorted before the run started and we set off up a little hill, with Push Back setting the early pace. At the first check, I went wrong leaving I Got Gas to lead the way along to an early Wimp Rambo split. The Rambos were treated to an extra loop with an ass slide down into a gully, and a rope climb back out of it. Another check thwarted us for a while before we rejoined the walkers.

Everything had been going ok THIS far… but sadly things got confused with people calling all over the place, whether they were on paper or not! Humperdick and Turkish set off backwards on a little loop and weren’t seen again till the end. At some point all the walkers vanished from ahead of us only to come in behind at the finish. The GM had been behind on the Rambo trail, only to pop up ahead, and the rest of us spent time running round in confused circles. Having got confused by a few bits of washed out old paper, I came off the mountain to the hare, who assured me there was plenty of paper there, because he’d just relaid it!

Still to come were several little bridges made out of all kinds of materials. The steel one, with nothing to hold on to, and the bamboo ones with a rail to hang on to, which would disintegrate if you did. Finally the On-In and back to the circle, where the highlight was Semen Soars and Able Semen singing a well rehearsed duet.

8th April – CH3 – Graven Image

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Was it Graven Image or Skid Mark? Apparently GI set most of the trail – making it up as he went along – but it was clearly a Skid Mark ending with the On-In the wrong side of the river Ping to the cars. We had been warned it was a trademark “Ping River Run”.

Back track a bit. I’m a bit hash weary these days, so was reluctant to make an appearance, but after chatting to Chuckie in the afternoon decided to go along and hope there wouldn’t be any more male hash dramas. The directions were complicated, and with little in the way of signage it was amazing that a large group found the A site.

After a hare brief we were taken by Songthaew to the B, from which we set off into orchards – seemingly in the wrong direction away from the river. A few early checks kept us confused as we weaved through orchards. One check at a road had CW and I checking left and Angry checking right – we arced around until we heard the call from somewhere off to the right. Cutting across had us the wrong side of a river and as we made our way along, we found the powder. Did we short cut? Or was it superior hashing? Either way we could see powder both sides of a canal, and tracked back along the trail till we came to Angry Inch coming the other way. Not long after we found Superman and Belly Dancer who had short cut!

It was here that the trail turned inevitably towards the river and the next few checks had us strung out by the time we got to the beer stop. The virgin, a relative newby and Shagless nowhere to be seen as we continued over to the river bank with Skiddy dashing back to take photos. CW was first to reach the river bank, but as he’d seen the On-In he opted for the 2.5km alternative up to the nearest bridge. Angry & I saw our chance and dived in to paddle across to the cold waiting beers.

Good fun circle!

16th March – CSH3 – Shagless & Reverse Thrust

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Shagless teamed up with Reverse Thrust, and picked a new runsite in a familiar area just down the canal road. The hare brief promised not one but two wimp rambos! Sups would love it!

I knew we must be close to the Bone Residence, but we were too far from the mountains for me to figure out just where we were – and too far from the Disco Shelter too. The trail set off down a nice path along a river, to a cross check in a field. The right option was to go right, but it was such an unpopular choice that the other check backs had been found before anyone set off in that direction.

The first wimp rambo added a little loop through a moo bahn, rejoining the wimps to scramble up through a rubbish tip. I was going along well, hitting the checks right, until one circle check caught me out completely. I was well ahead and had time to check 100+ metres in 2 directions before the pack caught up. It turns out I was right the first time, but about 10 meters short of the trail.

There was a welcome beer stop, and the pack regrouped. HRA got a break at the next check, and I was left chasing as we cut into some rice fields, through a under construction resort where Shagless was waiting. Cumalot’s son was there to block Humperdick and I from getting past on a paddy wall, as Graven & Chuckie vanished into the distance. Bugger!

9th Feb – CSH3 – Big Top

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Big Top was the hare for the valentines themed run and with plenty of hashers staying over at the Insda resort for the hash wedding, setting the run from there seemed like a good idea…. It seemed like a good idea right up to the point when I parked the car and saw that there were only mountains around the resort. Ugh, it was going to be a climbing run.

The bus(es) arrived and we figured we could have a hare brief and set off with Angry Inch chasing me along the trail which abruptly turned up and so began the first ascent. God damnit I hate hills. We finally hit a flat trail part way up the mountain with a check – I picked right, which wasn’t right as right was actually left so quickly found myself behind a pack scrambling along the narrow trail.

The trail turned into a huge clearing with steep cliffs all around. Amid confusion, we spent a while searching for the inevitable skiddy sticks. It was Shagless that eventually rescued us and we headed back towards the resort. At the next check I screwed the run up (a bit) calling On the wrong trail. Everybody was together, and I tried to lead them back while Pamela was explaining to Eat my Tofu what idiots the FRBs were.

Steep down the side of the cliff I took off with Shagless, only to be completely alone for a while. Graven caught up and we jogged along together for a while until we found some checks already kicked out. It seems the pack had found a short cut and were already tucking into beers at the A. Looking at the map, it seems the trails were close to each other, but that doesn’t explain why HRA led a group along the road and in the front entrance of the resort!

5th January – CSH3 OUTSTATION – Byte My Yahoo & Unplugged

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Looking back over my history running with CSH3 – the first Outstation of the year was usually in February – time enough to recover from the ‘festive season’. Dr Byte must have had some ingenious plan for making the OS the first run of the New Year.

Having survived the end of the World, 1111 and the Fiscal Cliff – just what did the virile duo have in mind? Mae Moh is home to the largest open pit lignite mine in Thailand (extra fascinating info here – http://www.mine-planning.com/Homepage/publications_documents/maemoh.pdf). I had Googled the location and Dr Byte had posted a couple of tempting photo’s to whet our appetites’.

The Friday before was a ‘golfing day’ – I hear this was a great success with one beer per stoke after the 4th hole, and this was followed by a night of drunken debauchery I can’t even begin to write about.

Perhaps wisely I set off on Saturday with Mr Poo and Knockout – what a delight, Knockout sitting up front with me was Poo’s desperate plan to make me drive ‘sensibly’ – and I did – more time with Knockout – thanks Poo – your very lucky and hope you both will be very happy. En route Dr Byte called and asked us to get some powder – huh!? This was a bit ominous – earlier in the morning he called me – and I thought it was some deranged pervert heavy breathing down the line – had he been laying trail or laying Unplugged!!??

Duly we arrived at the EGAT facility with its small town of 1970’s box student dorms – Dick Tracy was the first we encountered and I decided to leave Mr & Mrs Poo to settle in while take a quick look at the mine and power plant.

Behind the power plant were some very tempting looking hills (mountains) – Horny Monkey knew I’d like it here – and I did!

OK OK – enough pre-amble, so what was the run like?

The hares had organised a luxury (compared to the songtheow) coach to take us to A – Wow! – what a place to start a run – a platform sticking out over the valley with the mine and reservoir below – very cool indeed!

So photo op and moment to catch up friends – good to see Big Top and Red Carpet back in town. The hare brief was given an Dr Byte and Unplugged wanted a 2 min head start for an initial live hared section (hence the powder call). Unplugged was clearly visible going up a tower to no-where (that only Horny Monkey gamely went) while BmY arced off to set the real trail. Dick Tracy and Sunspot ignored the 2 mins and raced after him. Dick the Boy Wonder was valiantly trying to delay us by singing some obscure/obscene Texan Hash song – but as the 2 mins popped up – off I went.

Sunspot has been running pretty well of late and had probably 500m under his belt, with Dick Tracy racing ahead – I had to run him down to get to the first check. I’m sure BmY was delighted at the 500m checking I did – wrong! He was chuckling away at the check and rightly predicted I’d catch up with the pack soon enough.

In the middle of ‘thorn forest’ – the checks were tricky and did really well confusing the hell out of us with FRB lead changing frequently. Horny Monkey and Skid Mark seemed to be most energetic – taking it in turns to find the Skiddy Stix. HRA seemed to be getting nearly every check wrong, until he lucked out and the ‘thorn tunnels’ section of the run.

Here HRA used his advantage and powered ahead with Big Top, Game Set & Snatch, visitor Skiddy, Shagless, Red Carpet, Pamala, Mr Poo and me in pursuit.

For the short cutters there was a convenient road parallel to the ‘tunnels’ – so they easily kept up with Thobbing Ninja and Superman enjoying our shrieks at getting skewered with thorns and stickers every few meters.

Looking to the East – there were gorgeous mountains were crying out for a (Lanna?) hash on/up then, but BmY would have none of that – dirt, stickers, cow shit, flat, flat and more flat were on his mind and he joyfully kept popping up at every other check to marvel at how well he was keeping the pack together.

The highest elevation change was a mere 4 meters – but it was great fun. Just under 7km we came On In to the waiting coach – overlooking the stunning valley as the sun was beginning to set. Everyone came in close together – Frozen Dick was in ahead of the foragers – Cumalot, Super Bitch and Throbbing Ninja.

Screwed Up ran his first run since his knee op and well deservedly got the Male Wings.

The circle was joyful and fun – beer flowed and humour grew as the sun set over the valley – excellent job hares!

OnOn
BD

27th October – CSH3 – Slippery When Wet

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A virgin hare – which means weeks of panicking in the desperate hope that everything works perfectly! Slippery was a nervous wreck for an hour or so before the run as he busily counted people as they arrived in the desperate hope they reached the magic #40 – which would trigger the reduced entrance fee to Ratchapreuk. He shouldn’t have worried, over 50 hashers showed up. Knowing we would be going inside Royal Flora, meant we knew it would be a flat run, no mountains and probably not the longest run/walk. The hare brief consisted of promises that we could short cut, along with some confusing new checks.

Then we were pointed across the car park in the direction of the park entrance. Cunningly the hares had extended the run by using the car park half a km from the entrance! Once inside the first circle was pivotal to know which way around the park we’d go – I got it right, left it was. Immediately I did a little loop around a garden just to get back to where the short cutters could see me.

At the next check there was a large lake, which surely we’d go around? Nope. After a few more loops around in circles we had Belly Dancer leading Big Top and others straight lining their way to keep up. The trail took us up some stairs, but at the bottom there were arrows pointing in all directions. What the hell, I’ll play the game and run up the stairs only to run around a big circular balcony while those below watched and laughed. Again Belly was at the front, and his competitive spirit pushed him to run through a check back to find inevitable trail further along, calling us to confusion as we doubled back on the trail in the wrong direction.

When Turkish Delight and I finally figured it out we found Skid Mark and Humperdick already ahead along with Angry Inch. How they managed that I have no idea! We doubled back past the temple, and again were completely confused searching for trail which had perhaps been washed away. All of a sudden it was Just Cumming as the FRB – wtf? How did he get there? Humperdick stood grumbling about the dutch windmill missing an arm as we ran through the international gardens. Finally heading back towards the entrance with Skid Mark and Turkish Delight, and with Unplugged, Plan and Big Top short cutting their way towards us.

From the looks of facebook this morning, while we were busy running, most of the ladies just went for a photo shoot in the park, posing in front of different flowers etc. Either way it was a very different hash. When hares try to do something different, it always takes some extra efforts, and is also prone to turning into a fuck up! This time, they’d thought it out, and it worked – lots of smiling faces for the circle. OnOn.

13th October – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Mr. Poo chose Frozen Dick to co-hare with him, and that explains why the run was way out past Doi Saket, and not at Wat Umong or the Boy Scout Camp..! Anyway, we made our way out to the outstation, with Superman and Chilly Pussy missing the run start. Sups was duly punished for not getting the beer there on time, and Humps protested the lack of water. Turkish had already confused most of the drivers by stopping at the wrong A site, while Big Top, Geisha Gash and Shagless cruised way past the A bucket, presumably scouting future runs?

After such a shambolic start, we set off and I immediately got the first check wrong, but I caught back up with the FRBs as we approached a lake that I have some less than fond memories of. Jogging down away from the lake, I kicked a snake by mistake – ugh!!! At the cross check, Chuck Wao correctly guessed uphill and after coming back from the check back a largish group proceeded up the hill. They hares had done a good job with the checks, and there were some more tough ones to come – Skiddy found the paper after a great check that brought everyone back together before sending us down a tiny ‘trail’? We scrambled across a hill and as we emerged to a small trail the other end, we were completely disoriented.

Turkish got the pick of the check and cruised off the way we all wanted to go. We suspected him of silent running and followed after him – meanwhile, Sloppy Rod was the silent running c*nt who wanted to win like a racist bastard and refused to call again for the rest of the run. As Chuck Wao, myself and HRA pursued him fortunately he got his just deserts and was later punished on the ice.

The circle was fun, and then it was in to town to be punished by the evil Big Top!