Tag Archives: Pigshit

27th June – CH3 – Superman

Posted on June 27, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Superman with his hidden co-hare Just Cumming, set a run from by the temple behind Bann Billabong. With many years of experience, surely this would be a good one? We set off, and a couple of quick circles. I got the first right, and Piggy got the second. CW and I quickly caught up with Piggy who seemed utterly confused, muttering like a drunkard about us going back to the A. We followed paper and kept going. Another circle, and I nearly gave up when I spotted paper, and a visiting Grease Gorilla wasn’t far behind. Great to see Greasy back.

Then I got to meet an angry villager, who was busy building a barricade to block the footpath. He was upset that we would run through his house, and demanded to know who had organised it. I spent some time negotiating with him, while the rest of the pack were bearing down on him. Worst case we could run around him, but finally he let me go around his new barricade and continue on trail – not sure whether he bitched to the rest of the pack or not.

We hit the main road, and I have a memory of a Sups run using both sides of the Sameong road, and with the markings, this would be another one. We were headed towards the Disco Shelter. Turkey was a bit ahead when we got to the circle by the disco shelter, but none of us knew there would be 2km or so of running before the next check – not even Sups as he claimed JC set that part. Turkish wasn’t far ahead, and he became a rabbit in a greyhound race – in my mind… I very slowly started to reel him in, and each time I got a bit closer, it gave me confidence to speed up. Occasionally over my shoulder I saw CW & Cuckold, but my sights were on Turkey. He was looking for checks at every junction, but the checks weren’t there, and slowly I pulled him in, and there was a clear moment when he just broke.

I pressed on, and now it was me in the front looking for the break of a check, and glancing over my shoulder to see CW closing me down fast. Damnit! Where are the checks? When CW caught me he gave me a polite hello, a brief discussion about paper, but no economics lecture as he was moving smoothly – I was moving like someone who had just raced against a Turk in a pointless duel to the midway point. I want the exercise, I want to push myself and part of the fun of the hash is not knowing how far you have to go, so its hard to pace yourself. In my mind, I had predicted the way Sups would take us back, and I was monumentally wrong. Very, very wrong, because there was still a lot of the hash to go, and I had already shot my load on chasing Turkey down.

A junction, still no check, but knowing the trails there, I predicted a false trail. I was wrong, but it wasn’t far before I found paper, and also found Turkish. I am pretty sure we both felt the same. CW was calling from the left, and it sounded like he would join us imminently, neither Turkey or I wanted to go back, so we continued to a circle check, which we both got wrong, but I went back to find the right way. Where was the rest of the pack? It seems the ‘loop’ that we missed was much bigger than I expected, and yet the trail still had some kicks in the end… More than once we were teased with being close to the A, before turning back away, and UP. I knew I had short cut, so stayed silent, but did my best to figure out the rest of the trail, checking the wrong way a couple of times. As I finally approached the A site, Turkey appeared from nowhere – very curious what he did, but I suspect we felt the same…

An excellent run from Sups. I know I missed a chunk, and seeing the map of that only makes the run even better.

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25th June – CSH3 – Sloppy Rod

Posted on June 25, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Too bad Sloppy Rod was sick… Full credit to the guy for phoning CW Friday night to say he might need a hand, and then still getting out there to leave us a trail, even though he missed out on the beers. Clearly it had been well scouted too.

The runsite was used back around the male hash 1000 run, when Skiddy stole it from the 1000 hares. I had some memory of some of the trails near there, but Sloppy took us a completely different way, so most of the run was new to me. We set off over the dam wall, and I was the only one inclined to run early on, and was alone at the first check. I picked up the hill, expecting us to turn right and head down into the valley. I nearly gave up, but picked one more tree to get to, and there was the paper. Was that only 100m?

I pressed on, up and over the hill, to another circle. What a strange place? Was it back to the ridge? Did we need to go up over the hill? It looks like a big hill, but maybe? The circle was on one trail, while another was clearly visible just below. I guess I’ll try that one then. Wrong… Damnit! I got back and tracked down to another circle. Cuckold had got there first and charged off straight, a visitor had gone down to the left, so Piggy & I headed up hill to the right. I was still thinking we would go back to the right, and not around the lake. Apparently the visitor was scared of spiders, so didn’t really check down to the left, which explains why Piggy & I were so far off course checking up the hill.

When we rejoined trail we had to negotiate our way past the walkers, with Obscene being the most determined – determined to let us witness him being stung by nettles! I could see the pack stretching out ahead and it was clear we were heading around the lake. Finally a circle check, and it was called after we’d all past it in the same direction – Piggy went back to lay trail correctly. A group reformed as we got to the W/R split. The W did look appealing, but it would just be back around the lake, so I joined the Rambos as we set off away from the A. A great check.

We spread out up the hill. Turkish had gone straight on the trail, and there were suggestions that he had just fucked off and not called. Finally it was called along a nice little trail that wasn’t spotted for sometime. Meh! When it was called I was well up a scramble up the side of a hill, and there was no quick way back down. I got back on trail, well behind, and decided to settle into conservative mode. ABB just behind me, and as we went through another check Cuckold ran past, up the hill…. in the wrong direction… with HRA… Did they correct the trail they laid? Nope… I continued trudging, waiting to see what happened up front.

Finally we got to a circle check on a ridgeline, where there was an unappealing trail leading back down to the left. It was unappealing, it didn’t look quite right, and for exactly that reason it was my first choice. Turkish could have picked it, but he preferred to bide his time standing at the circle. Lazy fucker! It was that stage of the run, where we knew the route back was coming soon, and he didn’t want to gamble on the wrong way down the hill. I admit I wasn’t quick to check, and I wasn’t quick to call, when I did I felt more energy and started running.

Another check – go with the gut, and set off to the right, sure enough there was paper. A few obstacles to pass, and behind me was Turkish & Piggy. The trail dropped down onto a larger trail, and there was TipToe and Motorboat. We were close to home. I had to keep pushing. The trail turned a corner, and went up hill… again? Argh! This was one hill I was going to run up, and as I crested the hill I turned back and saw Turkish & Piggy someway behind, and a mass of paper ahead. I nearly called OnIn, until I realised it was another circle that had already been kicked out. We weren’t far, surely there wouldn’t be a sting in the tail? Fortunately there wasn’t, and I follow Shagless in, as he came off the W trail.

The Malaysian visitors set off very late, and briefly popped in for a mention at the start of the circle before heading off to other engagements.

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20th June – CH3 – Square Rooter

Posted on June 21, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Behind the Ag Center… Having picked up HRA, I did my first short cut of the day by ignoring the run directions and cutting behind Doi Khum. The usual runsite, and immediately we thought we knew what was going to happen – Up / Across / Down – just a matter of picking which up, and which down… Hare brief delivered he pointed us off to the left and CW and I scampered off. A small trail to the right had me looking, and I caught a glance of something white, leaving CW to continue to the False Trail, while I led the likes of Kwazi to the paper. The 2nd check though had me scrambling up a trail that quite recently was quite passable, but today was overgrown shiggy. Fortunately I made it through to the wider trail, and heard Kwazi calling On to my right. I ran down as he found another check. Now it was Cuckold leading the way as we ran along the bottom of the hill, eventually getting to the waterfall cafe – SR had managed to cut off all the trails heading up and down the hill – so where was this run heading?

The pack was all together as finally we found which trail we were going to use. Rooter had dragged branches across the entrance as his haring trademark. So finally we were heading up, and again Kwazi managed to get on trail ahead of us leading us up to the “main trail”. Of course it would be up from here and CW was the first to head up. Piggy bravely went down the steep hill, and I was as surprised as anyone when he started calling ON. Back down again? Where the hell was this headed?

Crawling through bamboo at the bottom, CW and I caught Piggy and got first choice at the circle after the Wimp Rambo split. I know this area well, and still wasn’t sure where we were headed. Another check, and I was completely wrong again – following CW up the hill expecting to have to cross back over anti clockwise to the left. Still recovering from sickness, I was spent and sorely tempted to head back. Back on trail I was between Kwazi and Bone Smoker. At another V it finally dawned on me where he was taking us! Genius – I’d completely forgotten this loop – it’s been years since we did that trail. I took the plunge and after a short gap between paper, I found trail a little ahead of CW, heading back down the hill to the OnIn.

Good set – cheers SR.

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18th June – CSH3 – Shagless

Posted on June 18, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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It is always very appreciated when the hares go out of their way to put on something special. Given the run directions I kinda thought the hares would do something special, but the directions read along the lines of “drive to the end of the earth, and then turn right and drive another 8km. There were encouraging hash signs pointing forwards to encourage us onwards into outstation territory – apparently there was no accommodation, and we would have to drive back!

The hare brief was one of the more elaborate I’ve witnessed. The hares role playing how we should act on trail, and giving clues to how confusing their run would be. So… There is a wimp rambo. The wimps would do a B->A, and the rambos and A->A. At some point in his dreams Shagless came up with this idea that wimps and rambos would meet on trail, but they should go in opposite directions. Wimps should follow pink, rambos follow white, and at no point should anyone get confused. I’m coming to the end of the 2nd paragraph and we haven’t set out on the run yet!

We were set off and Shit House pulled a Belly Dancer – sprinting to the first check only to get it wrong. The trail cut up a small hill to the road. Arriving with Piggy & CW, they didn’t want to check anywhere apart from where I went, and sure enough we were all right. A V check – in a completely unknown area, I had no advantage, I gambled wrong, and CW and I were then making our way back through the pack. Did I mention yet that I felt like shit – recovering from both a potentially deadly case of Man-Flu, and a hangover had me in a remarkably shabby state.

Looking at my GPS track afterwards, this run is really genius – really impressed with the hares for finding the trails in a completely new area. Catching up from checking the wrong way, we were heading up a hill, and up ahead Piggy was very confused. Maybe he didn’t hear the hare brief? He was talking about pink paper, and worried he was on the wimp trail. Nobody saw the check and it took a while before Turkish did the OnOn call. We went through a couple of checks – of course they weren’t obvious – we had no idea where we were, or where we were going. At some point I got to a check ahead with Cuckold, and there was Motorboat coming towards us…

Setting a trail where the walkers go the opposite direction to the runners along the same trail just sounds like a bad idea! Or is it a good idea? It is an idea for sure… WTF? It worked… We got to say hello… We got to cling to the side of the hill while Tiptoe charged towards us, and we got to dodge Chilly Pussy with her mushroom collecting team. Very different midpoint to the run, and then we were off again.

A great check where nobody spotted the 3rd trail option, and suddenly ABB was leading the way back down the hill. I was feeling worse and worse. I was mostly walking, trying to keep pace with those doing the checks. Fortunately I managed to get to the “obstacle” in the first batch. The hares had arranged a raft to take us across the fast flowing river with escorts swimming us across. I took a moment to crash on the raft. It didn’t make me feel better. So I let the runners take off along the other side of the river. Some how the checks held up the pack, although the raft ride did separate groups along the trail. I confess I may have put paper slightly wrong off a check, but it wasn’t much. We negotiated another creek crossing, and back across the bridge to the A.

Really good run, a really good circle, and a really good OnOnOn. Cuckold estimated 6-8 paragraphs for a write up. How long is a piece of string?

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16th June – CH4 – Frozen Dick

Posted on June 16, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Frozen Dick teamed up with Tip Toe for another run on canal road. I’ve been sick this week, so wasn’t sure whether I’d make it, but the boys were very keen, so I made the effort. Damn traffic around the school meant we got to the runsite with moments to spare, fortunately an extended harebrief gave me time to put shoes on etc. The trail set off back down the hill, to a circle hidden in small field. Having driven in, (and missed a sign at the last turn), I was sure I hadn’t seen any paper, so cut back and sure enough led Chuckie to the paper.

So we’d gone down the road, to just go back up a gorge again? Another check was placed to try to draw attention away from a nice little hidden trail to the right. I spotted it, and was again lucky. The checks were coming thick and fast, and there was no way I would get the next one right. So many choices – gullys, or hills in all directions. I picked the obvious one, up the hill in the middle, knowing I could drop down into gullys either side if necessary. I climbed 120m or so, and there was no sign of any paper. I wasn’t surprised, Frozen is too good a hare to make that check that obvious. I caught my breathe. I was sorely tempted to continue up, as I was sure I’d be able to intercept trail somewhere, but as nobody called OnOn after they had scattered, I guessed the hare had pulled a fast one. I ran back down, and yes, the hares had gone back on trail – fortunately I was back near the front with Cougar and Cumalot. I chased them up the hill, wanting first choice on the next check. I turned right and could see another check in the distance – CW came along with me.

A fork, and I picked left, promptly advising CW he joined me. Another check, and finally I got it very wrong. It took a while to catch back up, but I did when a check foxed everyone. After being called wrong once, we went another way and found paper everywhere. There was much confusion. I figured out which way the trail was headed, called ONON and started running, only to immediately trip and fall face first. Damnit – wait till you have everyone’s attention and then face plant. Not the last time on this run.

The hares dropped us down into a gully, to then make us climb higher, steeper, harder back up the god damn hill. Geez that was tough. A check, and when I got paper I could barely get noise out to call the pack on. Geez, that was a climb. Not much of a surprise that CW, Piggy & HRA were on me by the time the trail levelled off, and I needed more recovery time. HRA smurfed a check, but then there was a good km or so of running trail – CW & Piggy took off. I missed trail briefly, and ABB passed by before the descent. For the 2nd time I turned my ankle tripping on the way down. Damnit!

Somewhat caught the 2 FRBs at the penultimate check, but when I spread the paper in the wrong direction it took me some time to pick it all up again and lay it again. Damnit!

Great set hares, some really good checks and some good running trails. Thanks!

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9th June – CH4 – Chuck Wao

Posted on June 9, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Chuckie from the Fire Prevention Centre – convenient to get to from work, so I toddled my way along from the office to see what we had in store. 6km he said… Yikes I thought… Knowing the kind of runs CW sets, that suggested he would be lenient on the hills, so my guess was over towards the Ag centre. Clockwise, or Anti-clockwise? When he pointed us off up the hill, I was pretty sure of roughly where we going – anticlockwise.

Little Obscene was tearing along with youthful early run exuberance – I doubted that would last for long. Past the huts, and along the pipe. At the first circle, there was only one direction I was headed, and sure enough there was the paper. Really nice trails – clear of leaves, clear of rocks, even with the rain it wasn’t slippy. The bamboo railings were new and made progress easy. Another check and this time to get to the trail we had to navigate past some fallen bamboo. It took me some time to get past, so I knew it would slow down those behind me – and sure enough I was on trail. I took off, headed downhill. At one point I was aware of a trail coming in from the right, but I was moving so fast that I had got to the false trail marking before my brain had processed the possibility. Fortunately I got back on trail before the pack were breathing down my neck.

I pushed on, getting another few checks right. And then another false trail – you sly bugger you! Luckily it didn’t take too much to cut across and I was back on and things were going well. No sign of the pack behind me. The trail went cross country, but not really shiggy. The paper emerged back out onto a trail with a circle check. Surely it would be down to the Ag Center? I went down, 100++ meters and nothing – damnit! I went back and past the check going up hill as I heard the pack closing in on me. From there is was uphill, and from the strava flyby it seems Piggy waited at the check for me to find it before firing up the hill after me. Man they were closing me down fast – Piggy & HRA. I pushed hard, but they were getting closer. Finally I hit another trail and a circle check. It had to be down, and it was my choice. I was slow heading down the hill – catching my breath, taking a pee, letting the faster guys do some more climbing… Finally I was on, called and ran off down the hill.

We got down to the Ag centre trails, and they weren’t far behind me. Another circle and I picked left. After 120m I had a good view down the trail, and no sign of paper, so I turned back. Piggy was chatting to a dog walker who had definitely seen paper the direction I was checking. He urged me to check further, while he continued chatting up the young lady. I finally got to paper, but I was clearly too far. I tried to sign language to Piggy, as HRA called the true trail. Bugger it, I carried on and got to the hare escorting Tiptoe to a shot cut. From here we just had the connect back over to the A, and HRA got the best of it. Good run, good route, good circle, shame about the Mexican!

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30th May – CH3 – ABB & Pigshit

Posted on May 30, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Yup, the suspense is over, Piggy is the new GM and between him and ABB they put today’s run together. Meeting at Kwazi’s we were driven all the way across the city to the Gymkhana club. Interesting – and clearly a lot of road ahead. We set off and dodged traffic as the hares sent us on the wrong side of the road, before randomly swapping sides and ducking into a soi. I got the first check wrong, but stood no chance of hearing when HRA found it. Sometime later we followed up and found trail leading to the footbridge used by the school kids to cross the river. Trail appeared to run out – apparently the hares had put a circle under a parked car! Why would they do that? Some people ran around like headless chickens, while a group of us assumed the kids had taken the paper down and crossed the river anyway.

On the other side Poo, CW and I looked around for a bit, eventually heading south past the schools and spotting paper on the other side of the road. We were back on trail, but had sadly missed a beer stop. We continued and stuck together due to the noisy traffic. A few other walkers appeared, who’d also taken the shorter route. Poo got a phone call and we found out the 2nd beer stop was at Baxta’s. CW and I followed trail to Baxta’s, while Poo beelined his way there, appearing on the road in front of us. Beer, chips, mango… I really didn’t need to go any further. I could have just stayed there, but there was a 3rd leg to get back to Kwazi’s pool.

Running was a struggle for a while, until the beer fizzed itself out in croaking belches. Then I felt good and started running. There was paper, and for a while less paper, and then paper again, and then powder, and then a pool. It was over… I’d survived! My legs are going to feel that in the morning, but good exercise for me. Within moments I was gifted a nice shirt – the kind I can wear anywhere. Beers (compliments of the hash), and then a circle. Then food, excellent Eurodiner goodies, and then another circle… Wait, what? Didn’t we already do the circle part? I did stand for the first circle, but I’ll have to check with Hash Historian about the rules for 2nd circles, so I sat for that. Cheers hares!

It should be pointed out that Cuckold was the first to the first beer stop!

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11th June – CH4 – Pigshit

Posted on June 11, 2015 by admin| Leave a comment
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A reasonable turnout, given the time of year etc. But while there were plenty of walkers, it looked light on the FRB side… ABB took up the early running, racing to the first check, when he paused seemingly bemused. I past and headed up the hill and found trail, quickly on my own. I was aware of a virgin called Jack somewhere behind me, but it wasn’t until I got a couple of checks wrong that he and Toe Sucker caught up. The start was a steep climb up and presumably that decimated the pack.

When I caught up with Jack & Toe Sucker, they were stood at a circle discussing which way they should check. Toe Sucker was adamant she was just going to wait at the circle, and pointed out which ways we should go. I was wrong again, and caught up at the next circle where again they were discussing what to do. Screw that, I took off and finally got a check right. When we hit the road, it was clear he wouldn’t send us back up the road, so the only reasonable option was over heartbreak hill. Sometimes I don’t like being right. Its been a while since we’ve been over it, but it is always a tough one. Near the top we had the option of cutting down and going along the road, but nope, the hare wasn’t that forgiving, he was taking us right over the top.

Finally we hit the down hill and it was easy running all the way back. A great trail… Well marked… and a well ordered circle. Nice Job PS!

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11th October – CSH3 – Sloppy Rod

Posted on October 12, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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Sloppy teamed up with Chuckie to give us a mini-ballbreaker, starting from Huay Tung Thao. The hare brief was anything but brief, but in due time we were set loose. I jogged off with Humps to the first circle. 2 options, right up the hill, or straight along the bottom. I took the route over the hill knowing the two trails rejoined further on. 100m.. nothing, damnit! With a long run ahead, I was loathe to go back, but no one was calling… I kept on a bit further, but still nothing. Finally I heard Cougar calling from down to my right – there must be another trail there. By now I was already over the hill, so made my way down towards the call, and found trail with Cougar running towards me.

A V-check. Towards the army base, or not? I didn’t think we’d be going into the army base, so chose left – and hit the check back. OK, so we were going into the army base and I caught up with the pack at the road. Turning right was unlikely, so I headed for the dam, following Cougar who was running very well. It was a long way, but as we switched from paper to powder, perhaps we missed some trail, but we eventually got trail and jogged passed some soldiers.

The other side of the lake we started off on road that slowly changed to mud trail. Great running trails! We were headed towards Maerim… Shortly we got onto a trail that Sloppy used on 5th December 2011 for the male hash. The checks were pretty much straight on, so Piggy & Brownie led the way as the pack started to stretch out. A V-check caught them out and some how I found myself at the front with HRA. The trail took a sharp turn to the right, and there was the water stop. Strange – why no check? and there was a circle on the tree? So I headed on straight another 100m or so. Nothing, no sounds, no calls, no trail… (Had I gone another 20m around the corner I would have found trail again, but I turned back and found Mr. Poo and Cumlord sitting drinking water at the drink stop.

Damnit… I sped up and at the next check managed to reel in the front group. Taste My Buns was leading the way up heart break mountain a steep climb that was a killer after 5-6km already. No choice but to battle through it, and the front group of 5 were close together. We reached the top, and then found it wasn’t quite the top, and climbed a bit higher. As we turned to the left we had the view of HTT in the distance, and could just about make out the cars and the A-bucket. We started the descent and somehow HRA got away. For a while I was running with Piggy and Brownie slowly reeling in Tasty Buns, with HRA just ahead, and then all of a sudden HRA was gone. Did he switch on the turbo boost? He blasted through all the checks with us trying to figure out where his calls were coming from.

We were getting closer and the trails felt more familiar, although by that point, one waterfall looks like any other. A fly flew straight down my throat and I paused for a moment to gag. The front group disappeared, and as I jogged on past the ranger station, Graven suddenly appeared behind me. I’d not seen him all run, but in true Gravy style he was making his moves towards the end. But there wasn’t enough trail left for him, and we jogged in together.

A GREAT run… It has been a long time since I’ve done a longer hash run – I’ve set a few, but not had the chance to run them, so it was a lot of fun. Cheers hares! Here’s to more miniBBs

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27th Sept – CSH4 – Knock Out

Posted on September 27, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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I got a phone call before getting to the runsite to say they’d run out of signs, so if I got there first I might want to put some signs up… – if only I knew where we were going! Way down the river, so far that Turkish & Chuckie got lost and gave up, while Rin, Stuart, Belly and Anything got lost and were late. Those of us that did make it to the start were ready for Skiddy’s farewell hash. Skiddy will be seriously missed from the Chiang Mai hash community – a complete hasher who does more than his share of setting, organising and making sure the hash works throughout the year. Lets hope todays run will be a fitting tribute to him!

A flat run, in the orchards – surely there would be some water crossings? Brownie and I set off at the start with him promising me that I could have first pick at the first check. It wasn’t really a surprise that the check was skiddy sticks, so gee thanks – I got them… It wasn’t a surprise, but ALL the checks were skiddy sticks… The checks worked really well, and we were zig zagging, criss crossing, all over the place trying to figure out the route. With trails all over the place, it was tempting to start looking for true trail before the sticks were found, but who knew when the false trail would be reached?

The trail was pretty similar to one we’d done before by KO, so some parts were a bit predictable, but the checks were so hard! A normal circle check gives us a radius of 100m in a circle – i.e. an area of 31415.93 square metres to search for paper – bloody hell that is a lot! However, if the trail can be 100m back along the trail and 100m of either side, we add a 20000 square metre area – i.e. Skiddy checks like this changed the search area from 31416 square metres to 51416 square metres – at times we might have had more luck finding MH370.

Running along we were often wondering if we’d missed a check, or missed some paper – a good mental exercise. The checks were keeping us well together, nobody getting any advantages. Finally we got to a check that really foxed us. With hindsight, we were searching too far back from the sticks. I went the most obvious way, and had gone 100m and back, but nobody had found paper. Humps asked if I’d really checked it, so I went back and went further. No calls, so I kept going, and finally got out on a road. Paper Everywhere!!! It was going left, right, straight, all over the place! BUT, it was clear that I hadn’t found the trail the way the hares intended…. Still no calls from the pack… I went back and forth along the road trying to figure out what we were supposed to be doing, or where the paper was supposed to have come from… Still no calls.. I could see Piggy on the other side of a field, so called over to ask for help with the mystery. He headed in my direction bringing much of the pack, as we all short cut around 3km off the full run.

Not far around the corner it was the OnIn… Excellent checks that did a great job of keeping the pack running around like confused lemmings. Confused lemmings that like jogging along hunched down to avoid the tree branches.

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