Tag Archives: Mr Poo

3rd May – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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What would Turkey do for us / to us? At Huay Tung Thao the trails are familiar, but there are options. A familiar starting point had us running towards the mountain, and of course there was a circle check waiting at the base. It is a great spot for a circle check, but kind of gives the game away early – if we turn left, it is towards the moobahn, if we turn right it’s towards the lake. I opted to check straight on towards the waterfall – I set a run there previously, it was a truly shitty run, that climbed up the waterfall in the vague hope there might be trails up there. I figured Turkey was the kind of hare who might copy that fuck up. Fortunately I was wrong, and we were heading to the lake.

It crossed my mind that he might just run us around the lake – I’ve heard that he previously just ran us around the 5k running track! But, nope, I led Chuckie across the dam and around to the entrance to Huay Tung Thao. Then things got a bit confusing… There was a circle check, and soon after I found trail, around the same time Chuckie also found trail. At closer examination, I had found the wimp trail just before it joined the main trail, so I carried on and joined the walkers who were checking off a circle check.

We were tight up against the barbed wire fence – the otherside of which was the army base, where there are men who have guns, and have been known to use them. The sensible option is to not run near highly trained soldiers, particularly during a period of political strife. I saw Sups checking away to the right, and opted to check even further to the right – so far that I found a great running trail. Such a great running trail that I couldn’t resist running on it! And would you believe it, after a while I found paper! I assume the hare had just set an impossible 700m check…

Rather than running off, I went back to join my fellow hashers and help them through the unfamiliar area – am I ever thanked for these duties I perform? Nope… Anyway, we 2nd guessed a couple of obvious skiddy sticks to get back to the OnIn. Some call it short cutting, some call it intelligent hashing – my boys called it “winning” – apart from Tip Toe who did an even better job of ‘winning’.

26th April – CSH3 – Big Top & Mr. Poo Animal Dinner AGMU

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What an epic outstation weekend – I’ve finally made it back, although my head hasn’t quite arrived yet! It began on Friday – I arrived around lunch time and Horny, Poo, HRA and Square Rooter were just heading down the road for a beer. I figured I’d join them, and 4 hours and many beers later we got back to the resort. Saturday was a slow day until run time. Songthaews took us all out to the start – well the Rambo start – the Wimps were taken 3km along the trail and set off moments later.

A good early pace as Gorf replaced Brown Finger as the FRB. We looped around some fields and headed back towards the huge mountain that overlooks Chiang Dao. We got to where the Wimps had been set off from, and for a few km the checks were all kicked out, allowing Gorf to leave us behind. The heat was devastating and running was a struggle. Finally we started wheeling in the DFLs and got to a water stop.

It was pretty much straight on, straight on towards the mountain. Pleasant views running along with Taste My Buns & Horny Monkey. A few tough checks late on and we could see Gorf ahead of us. Amazingly I was FRB for a moment, but the exertions and the heat took their toll and I was down to walking towards Poo who could be seen from about a km before the OnIn. We’d been promised a 6km run, but it was a big fat lie. 8km in deadly heat – time for the AGMU.

Big Top took charge of the circle, and promptly fired her committee, leaving her in sole command for the evening’s Animal Dinner. Back to the resort and the guys grabbed some beers and hit the pool for a couple of hours while the ladies got ready. With thunder and lightning threatening we all descended on the dining room. Excellent food, good music, and a wide array of beverages. It seems not many people had heard of Absinthe, and I ended up having t least 1 too many, along with copious amounts of gin and tonic, on top of the Leos – oh and Beer Lao too. No wonder I feel like shit!

We had to get up by 10:30 for a hangover run. I managed it just. Apparently I was supposed to co-hare it, luckily Pigshit stepped in to help Knock Out. I set off before the hare brief, and took a nap along the road. Horny dragged me to my feet and I managed to get running, behind Cougar & the Germans. Fortunately the run was only 1.1km, and I wasn’t going to do it twice! Circle time, and time for the hare of the dog. Big Top promptly quit and assigned duties to Mr. Poo who announced his new committee. I think I am on it, hopefully he’ll update the list soon!

Excellent job guys – so successful in crippling us that we didn’t even thank the hares properly in the circle for organising a great event.

21st April – CH3 – Turkish Delight

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Turkey Turkey Turkey…! With the promise of virgin trail we set off to the depths of the Sameong road, just past where we have had several outstations, including Poo’s wedding. Virgin? We’ll see. The chosen runsite was a random corner off a random backstreet with the intention of a circle in a mosquito infested rice paddy.

In case the run was shit, at least we’d be able to look at Turkey’s artwork on trail with smiley face checks in place of regular circles. We were off, and Belly did his trademark sprint, getting a check or two right, but he was polite enough to let us pass when the trail headed narrowly up the side of a barbed wire fence. From there we went up. Straight up. We were close to some nice trails, but rather than finding and using them, Turkey had chosen to take us straight up the shiggy.

Periodically there were checks, and Brown Finger and Pigshit carried on up calling ahead of me. After an eternity we got to a trail and that was the moment that changed the run. It went from a crappy scramble over terrain that there is a good reason not to run on, to a great run! Around a nice lake, we avoided the skiddy sticks and headed up a bit further, before a great check took us back down. The pack was fractured by here with Graven, Brownie and Piggy joining me on the descent – what will we do next week?

As we got out of the hills, we hit a road and a rice field. I know this place!!! This was Poo’s wedding run!! This was where Chuckie and I ran 5km off trail in desperate search for trail! Beautiful area, great trails, so we went back down the road! Another couple of skiddy sticks to dodge and then a good check that took Brownie and I the wrong way letting Gravy slip past for a 3 out of 3 farewell weekend! Nice running sir!

All in all, a nice set, but I much preferred the downhill over the uphill!

14th April – CH3 – Mr. Poo

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We were all somewhat hungover from the Songkran run… Mr. Poo the hare was so hungover that he’d forgotten to bring enough powder, felt too crappy to set the trail, and opted to do a live hare – only to find that he was a bit too hungover and might not make it on his own. He picked Chuckie for a co-hare and so we had 2 live hares – neither looking in good shape.

They set off and we watched them duck in to the right, 5 minutes and we set off in pursuit. The first check was easy – we’d seen where they had gone. we were gaining. I nailed a few checks and things were going well – particularly when the monks told me where the strange farangs had gone. Having run here before I had a hunch where they were headed, and sure enough I got to the crucial intersection. Up the hill? Or along the bottom?

Damn, I guessed, and guessed wrong. Graven had already checked that way too – as he’d ignored the early part of the trail and just headed straight to the ‘crucial’ point. It was up the hill, but how high up? Most of us got it wrong due to some ambiguous calling from up ahead and found ourselves above the trail over a steep cliff. I opted to parallel for a bit longer, only to find that I wasn’t paralleling, I was getting further away – they were going clockwise after all… Must be a figure of 8. Back down to the ‘crucial’ point, and sure enough where there once was circles, now there were arrows. Tip Toe ahead of me?? and Frozen?? I guess the hares had changed the trail in between the FRBs and the DFLs! Somewhere ahead Brown Finger and Graven were calling, and at the final circle I joined them.

A cheeky loop back behind a ruined temple brought us back to the A – I recall the same hare using the same loop previously, so I managed to run into the circle site while the hares were still sweating. Short, but sweet – I don’t think anyone needed to do much more this time!

9th March – CH4 – Graven Image & Brown Finger

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Graven decided to set a live hare run, and to decrease the chance of being caught he signed up Brown Finger as a co-hare. He also brought in Pig Shit as a co-co-hare, although the latter denied any knowledge of the route and would run with the pack. It turned out later that the hares also seemed to have no knowledge of the route and got themselves lost.

Brown Finger had already disappeared, but after 5 minutes headstart we set off after Graven. At the end of the road, I turned left, and went about 150m before finding the trail – sneaky hares! The trail abruptly turned left towards where I knew there was a lake – it was suspicious, but I figured I’d play the game and duly went to collect the spare paper at the False Trail.

Clearly the hares can’t read Thai, as they took us straight through a gate that stated ห้ามเข้า. No choice but to carry on. Into the woods, there was a circle check in the middle of nowhere, only trees, no trail, but from memory I knew there was a wider trail straight ahead, so I ploughed on through a bit more than the 100m. When I got to the trail, I checked down to the left, and then as hashers were calling I went back up to the right, and sure enough the paper emerged from the trees and headed on up the hill.

A single trail heading up, with occasional circle checks off to the side – each just returning to the main trail up up up up. And at the top was the “BN”. I was on my own, nobody around – would I get to drink all the beer? First I had to find the beer – and just past the BN was a circle check… Huh? Where was the beer? Oh, there was a somewhat obvious bag right next to the BN and in it the Tiger juice. I had some time to wait for the rest, so I figured out where the circle check was going back to, and kept yelling for them to follow me up the hill.

Finally Poo showed up. When Square Rooter got there, he ignored the beer, and headed off in the wrong direction – let them go! Back again, and we headed down the hill on a different trail. When we got to the road at the bottom, a circle check had been replaced with a Wimp Rambo split – no mention of that in the hare brief! The Rambo took us back to the ห้ามเข้า gate, where the hares had put even more paper over the poor family’s yard. A bit further on, and a circle check was suspiciously next to a ant infested log bridge, that I straddled my way over with Poo following, only for trail to be found in a different direction. We were back in the forest on the old trail, and as Chuckie led the pack back up the hill, I thought better of it, and finally None of Your Business found arrows and trail back through the trees again. He took off like a whippet, and we were soon back to the Wimp Rambo split – only this time it was just an arrow heading up back in. Confused? We all were! Especially the co-co-hare Pig Shit who led Dead Virgin all the way back up the hill and finally limped in in the dark.

It seems the hares had screwed up from the start and spent all the time trying to fix their mistakes. None of Your Business celebrated at the On-In his victory!

10th Feb – CH4 – Suckit

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Suckit teamed up with Itchy, Poo and Knockout to organise the 500th run outstation – some ways towards Chiang Rai. When I eventually found the resort, after driving back and forth along the highway, most were ready and waiting. Perched on a little hill there was a spectacular vista all around. What did Suckit have in store for us??

I led the way through the first few checks, with the help of inside information – from my cabin I’d seen some white spots on a trail that was about a km away – now that is a well marked trail! Things were going well with Brown Finger forced to take the false trails each time, until finally my luck ran out and I was behind. We turned into a little valley, and at a circle check the pack spread out. Brown Finger climbing up a steep hill, while most headed off into the gully to the right. I headed left, and to my joy hit trail that curved around the base of the hill.

OnOn, and onto another nice trail that climbed into the trees, only to once again be thwarted when we deviated steep down to the left. Not far later I caught the pack at another circle that had everyone scattered. This time I wasn’t so gleeful to find the trail leading steep up a rubber tree lined mountain. It wasn’t far up, but mentally it was tough and the groans came from everywhere. When we got to the top, all we had to do was go back down the other side – equally steep, but lined with straw for a soft landing, and almost enough trees to swing between on the descent. From there the hares had put in yet another hill, but this time it was the hill with the resort sat on top. Nice run, in a completely new area!

20th Jan – CH3 – Skid Mark

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Skid Mark #3

If you are going to set 2 runs in a weekend, why not set 3? Seriously folks – that is a hell of an effort and deserves huge respect. Thanks Skiddy for a great weekend of hashing!!!

So how about today’s run? He’d been building up to it with the previous 2 runs and had hinted today’s would be something special – enough that I crept my way out of work and got to the runsite. We’d been here before, but not for a long time. It was an A->B, which always mixes things up.

I set off in usual style, and Brown Finger joined me at the front. The first check was after 700m or so and I guess I got it right… – at least I found some paper in a rice field and another circle check. I can’t be sure if we got there the way the hares intended, but what the hell! A bit further on, another circle next to a ‘bridge’ type thing that crossed some fast flowing water. It’s Skiddy, so of course we had to cross it right? Yup, and I was On-On past a paddy field to the road. Things were going well for me, and I hit another couple of checks. When I finally got one wrong it was Graven Image, Brown Finger and Turkish Delight mixing it up at the front.

We caught up with Sunspot who’d been given a huge short cut, but apparently confusing instructions…. – “At the V check take the RIGHT path”, which could have meant the path to the right, or the correct one. Anyway, bloody hell the pace was moving along fast. Less that 6.5mins per km is not a bad running pace, but when you add in the hashing checks etc. that’s moving along. Several times we thought we’d lost Turkish, but he was doing a great job of keeping up – calling when he got ahead and kicking checks out when he was following (Poo might argue that he kicked the checks in the wrongd direction, but perhaps Poo should run faster and get in less fights).

Finally we got to a strange “Wings and Other Things” or “Short Cut” check… Huh? We were close, and after a couple of twists and turns, we emerged and found the beer. A great 8km A->B run and in my opinion the best of the weekend’s runs. Thanks for the 3 runs!

30th November – CSH3 – Wooly Jumper

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Wooly was the hare behind Wat Umong, so I dashed back from work for it… Then I found out Foxy was the co-hare, and immediately questioned my decision! My memory was of a 3 mountain gruelling run Foxy had set not so long back here – surely Wooly wouldn’t be so mean? Chucky and I power walked up the hill to the first check – which of course I got wrong! We were heading straight to the main Wat Umong hill, and the nature trail. The hares amusingly caught CW following trail on the side of a ridge while everyone else passed by on the perfectly good trail just below him. Then they caught Poo out by deviating from the obvious path for about 100m. Somehow I was back at the front!

It was up the usual trail (which poo had used in reverse on the previous Monday). The checks were quite predictable, which let the FRBs breeze away from the pack and there were 4 of us left when we got back down the other side of the waterfall. A bit of checking and we were back within 3km, and within 30 minutes running! Nice kind hares, letting us have it easy with many out of town!

3rd November – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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Itchy stepped up, and the run was way down canal road – great running area. Itchy was coy in the harebrief, no clues as to how far it was but time to start running! I set off with None of Your Business and Brownfinger, and at the end of the road was the first circle check. Brownfinger graciously let NOYB take the most obvious trail, and pointed me out a further option. Pretty close to the circle I found pink paper – it seemed too close, but there was another piece. OK, I guess i’m on? A quick call and everyone came over to decide it was old paper. Back to the circle – everyone seemed to head off in the direction BF had been checking, but I went with NOYB to where he hadn’t gone far enough.

This time we found the paper, and were off. Familiar trails, and I nailed quite a few checks, out of contact with the pack behind me. Things were going well, and the ‘dream hash’ flashed through my mind… And of course then I got to the check that screwed me over! I checked straight, I checked right, I checked further right, and then set off left – finally I could hear the pack approaching from behind. I was wrong again! Where was the trail??? Even with the help of the other FRBs it took us another 5 minutes or so to find the trail, and the pack set off again – knowing that we must be turning right soon…

Of course we got it wrong when the trail didn’t turn right, and kept going straight. Finally we followed Square Rooter around to the right, and it was Poo that took up the pace along the mud roads back towards the A site. Brown Finger was on a mission to chase him down, but he did the right thing checking the dummy way at another junction, while Graven and I jogged along behind Poo. A further check, and it had to be to the left, but with Poo and Graven already checking there, I gambled on straight. There must have been some fuck up as it took forever to be called, by which time I’d started paralleling into a field surrounded by barbed wire. I had to head back, and ended up with 8k on the clock, some ways behind the true FRBs. We Are F R B!

19th October – CSH3 – Mr Poo

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Mr Poo seemed like the obvious choice for setting a full moon run, and with a late addition of Square Rooter as co-hare, the man who knows every trail in the Huay Tung Thao area, surely they would put together something special. It was dark and late, but at least it wasn’t raining! Full Moon? Nope… Well it made a brief appearance during the circle.

With torches bouncing we set off, straight towards the tarmac running track. A couple of early checks told us what we had in store – it was well marked, easy to pick out the powder in torchlight and as we got to the check at the back entrance to the lake, it was a make or break check. I followed HRA’s calls to the right, and it was along the running track. Inspired haring! On a daylight run we’d bitch about the bitumen, but on a night run it wasn’t quite road but safe and easy to run along.

Knowing the area the next couple of checks were obvious and we set off on the mud trail that I’ve run so many times before – only this time it was dark, and muddy and full of puddles. A smallish group had broken away at the front, and we got back together with a tough check by the horses stables. It was a no-brainer that we were heading to the right to cut across back to the running track, but it was hard to find the way through in the dark. The hares knew it and were waiting on the other side just in case they needed to rescue anyone.

Back along the running trail to the A. It’s always nice to try something different, and it was a carefully thought out set.