Tag Archives: HRA

27th January – CH4 – Anything & Throbbing Ninja

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Anything & Throbbing Ninja teaming up to set the run…. Run that past me again? Throbbing Ninja has a historic reputation for welcoming a group of visitors from overseas by setting one of the biggest hill climbs in hash history (recently surpassed by the ball breaker, but epic nonetheless). Anything has set some good runs, but you can be sure they will always be a tough test. I was worried!

We set off onto the road and back on a familiar trail through the field. Angry Inch was on my heels, and immediately my calf started tightening up. I just hoped I’d run it off and it did seem to ease off, but my legs were definitely feeling the effects of Frozen’s run the day before.

The pack was kept together as we searched for paper with the hares laying trail on the left, and then the right, and then the left, and then hiding it in trees (so it wouldn’t get burnt?). The road took us up and we finally got to a check. Angry Inch must be obsessed with my ass, and he followed me around the corner as Chuckie spluttered. It was HRA tho that checked the other way and when I turned back at the check back, sure enough CW was also behind me!

The next opportunity took us up into the hills and most of the run was on the great trails up in the mountains. Our visitor from Florida couldn’t stop smiling – he’d loved it! As we came down the hill there was a breakaway of Mr Poo, Angry Inch and now named (Cheap) Hole Hunter being chased down by HRA, myself, Chuck Wao and Graven Image. There were some excellent places for checks, but no checks as we back and forth up and down at the edge of the hills. Finally we hit the trail at the bottom and it was home free. I slowed to a walk and was gradually passed by Skiddy, Unplugged, Human Ex, while Crazy Crack & None of Your Business were close behind. Actually a great run that was a little much for me, with my only criticism being not enough checks at certain points!

Back in time for the circle….. Yikes!

6th January – CH4 – Can’t Stop Cumming / Cock Climber

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I got up around 7 this morning to finish setting the fucked up hangover run, promptly vomiting from sun sickness. With sleep deprivation and a long(ish) drive back from Mae Moh, I rated my chances of making the run as slim – HRA had written them off! After an afternoon nap, I felt slightly recharged and persuaded Unplugged that we should go along. I was looking forward to it, as I was curious what the two virgin hares would put on for us – I feared a testing challenge, but you never know…

Before the run they had invented some new checks – some kind of Menage a Trois check – which looked like a small cock. The hare brief was comprehensive, with details given about how far to important checks, and ominously the hares encouraging us to give up part way through and come back… UhOh…

We set off in the direction we were pointed, only to come back and go down a ramp to the quarry and back up the other side. My legs were already aching! We went through a number of checks, and also a number of former run sites – run sites that appeared to be closer to the run, although not as spectacular as the view across the quarries.

A circle check thwarted us for a while as nobody wanted to check down, away from the main path we’ve used so often before. It’s useful to know there is another trail there, but it looked like the hares might have hacked their way through a bit. Then we started the serious climbing. Poor Red Carpet – used to the flats of Denmark and now subjected to the hills of Chiang Mai. Angry Inch was running all over the place like a leprechaun on acid. As we climbed the virgins were tested, and I didn’t see them again till the circle.

We passed the “cock check” and faced the decision – go back and do that 2.5km again, or go on and hope the next 6 might be better! Down in the Ob Khan valley, hashers faced a choice and Chilly Pussy led a group off to her house for a “short cut” back. The rest of us ploughed on and having gone over the hills one way, we’d have to go back over them to get back to the beer. Surely the hares had found a nice pleasant trail? No! These virgin hares were beset on punishing us!!! We somehow got onto a Square Rooter run that I remembered taking us back over the hills, and there were 2 sets of paper. Steep up, steep down and I hit the wall… Time to make my way back.

Fortunately I stumbled on a great trail that led me back down to the road and back in to the beer – an hour and a half!!! When all the hashers (we think) made it back in the last moments of daylight, the circle started. With immense efficiency, complete with primer notes the GMs tagged in and out. Actually I don’t remember ever a virgin circle being run as well. If the run hadn’t come after such a long weekend, I would probably have appreciated the hare’s efforts even more!

5th January – CSH3 OUTSTATION – Byte My Yahoo & Unplugged

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Looking back over my history running with CSH3 – the first Outstation of the year was usually in February – time enough to recover from the ‘festive season’. Dr Byte must have had some ingenious plan for making the OS the first run of the New Year.

Having survived the end of the World, 1111 and the Fiscal Cliff – just what did the virile duo have in mind? Mae Moh is home to the largest open pit lignite mine in Thailand (extra fascinating info here – http://www.mine-planning.com/Homepage/publications_documents/maemoh.pdf). I had Googled the location and Dr Byte had posted a couple of tempting photo’s to whet our appetites’.

The Friday before was a ‘golfing day’ – I hear this was a great success with one beer per stoke after the 4th hole, and this was followed by a night of drunken debauchery I can’t even begin to write about.

Perhaps wisely I set off on Saturday with Mr Poo and Knockout – what a delight, Knockout sitting up front with me was Poo’s desperate plan to make me drive ‘sensibly’ – and I did – more time with Knockout – thanks Poo – your very lucky and hope you both will be very happy. En route Dr Byte called and asked us to get some powder – huh!? This was a bit ominous – earlier in the morning he called me – and I thought it was some deranged pervert heavy breathing down the line – had he been laying trail or laying Unplugged!!??

Duly we arrived at the EGAT facility with its small town of 1970’s box student dorms – Dick Tracy was the first we encountered and I decided to leave Mr & Mrs Poo to settle in while take a quick look at the mine and power plant.

Behind the power plant were some very tempting looking hills (mountains) – Horny Monkey knew I’d like it here – and I did!

OK OK – enough pre-amble, so what was the run like?

The hares had organised a luxury (compared to the songtheow) coach to take us to A – Wow! – what a place to start a run – a platform sticking out over the valley with the mine and reservoir below – very cool indeed!

So photo op and moment to catch up friends – good to see Big Top and Red Carpet back in town. The hare brief was given an Dr Byte and Unplugged wanted a 2 min head start for an initial live hared section (hence the powder call). Unplugged was clearly visible going up a tower to no-where (that only Horny Monkey gamely went) while BmY arced off to set the real trail. Dick Tracy and Sunspot ignored the 2 mins and raced after him. Dick the Boy Wonder was valiantly trying to delay us by singing some obscure/obscene Texan Hash song – but as the 2 mins popped up – off I went.

Sunspot has been running pretty well of late and had probably 500m under his belt, with Dick Tracy racing ahead – I had to run him down to get to the first check. I’m sure BmY was delighted at the 500m checking I did – wrong! He was chuckling away at the check and rightly predicted I’d catch up with the pack soon enough.

In the middle of ‘thorn forest’ – the checks were tricky and did really well confusing the hell out of us with FRB lead changing frequently. Horny Monkey and Skid Mark seemed to be most energetic – taking it in turns to find the Skiddy Stix. HRA seemed to be getting nearly every check wrong, until he lucked out and the ‘thorn tunnels’ section of the run.

Here HRA used his advantage and powered ahead with Big Top, Game Set & Snatch, visitor Skiddy, Shagless, Red Carpet, Pamala, Mr Poo and me in pursuit.

For the short cutters there was a convenient road parallel to the ‘tunnels’ – so they easily kept up with Thobbing Ninja and Superman enjoying our shrieks at getting skewered with thorns and stickers every few meters.

Looking to the East – there were gorgeous mountains were crying out for a (Lanna?) hash on/up then, but BmY would have none of that – dirt, stickers, cow shit, flat, flat and more flat were on his mind and he joyfully kept popping up at every other check to marvel at how well he was keeping the pack together.

The highest elevation change was a mere 4 meters – but it was great fun. Just under 7km we came On In to the waiting coach – overlooking the stunning valley as the sun was beginning to set. Everyone came in close together – Frozen Dick was in ahead of the foragers – Cumalot, Super Bitch and Throbbing Ninja.

Screwed Up ran his first run since his knee op and well deservedly got the Male Wings.

The circle was joyful and fun – beer flowed and humour grew as the sun set over the valley – excellent job hares!

OnOn
BD

29th December – CSH3 – Skid Mark

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Skiddy teamed up with Frozen Dick, and FD couldn’t have been happier! The directions were on the Maejo road and then left… – that rules out any hills! 😀 Virgin area and a typical Skiddy location. I got there first and found the A bucket in the middle of some rice paddies with water all over the place.

We set off, and immediately I got off paper having missed a circle check. The trail cut to the right and we spent a while weaving backwards and forwards around rice fields crossing over the same god damn road again and again, while the walkers (and Graven Image) just strolled along the road. Finally we cut off and found a way through rice fields and out to a village.

Then was a circle check that took a good 10 minutes to find. Dick the boy tried to kick it out early, Unplugged chatted up the locals and half the pack took off on a huge short cut down the road missing out on some lovely trails that eventually Horny Monkey, HRA and I found with Semen Soars joining us from the wrong direction.

The rest of the checks were already kicked out by the short cutters and one by one we past the walkers. I passed Sun Spot and thought we must be nearly home – although this time he’d managed to do a v. healthy amount of the run. I past Miss Piggy and Cumalot as they danced Gangnam Style to the village music. Finally I saw the On-In and could get a beer. Good turn out at the OnOnOn – nice food at a new restaurant.

23rd December – CH4 – Suckit

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It was down the canal road to Suckit’s favourite run setting area – just by his house… The turnout was large by CH4 standards, a 2nd songthaew needed to bring everyone from town. Eventually Suckit pointed us out the gate and I set off with Angry Inch hot on my heels. At the first V check, he just followed me rather than checking. He was running well! We headed towards the hills, and then the dogs attacked. Swarms of yapping, growling canines as I tried to check, they were only driven more aggressively as the pack chased after me.

In the hills, I kept getting the checks right with Dead Virgin, Mr Poo, Angry Inch and HRA hot on my heels. Somewhere Skiddy was getting everything wrong… Angry Inch kicked out one check wrong, and refused to go back to correct it – I did feel sorry for the DFLs for a moment, until I found Klaus Barber (welcome back!) and Frozen Dick had short cut ahead of me – and Robin Banks was up there too.

I emerged from the woods with HRA, Dead Virgin, and Graven Image was hot on our heels. The “race” was on. Down the hill on the home straight and finally there was the On-In – the traditional end of the hash. But Dead Virgin couldn’t help himself but to race home, Graven, Poo and HRA followed suit. Bunch of racist bastards!

Back at the A, the circle was a treat! Lots of fun! Then the food at Ya’s was great – until the karaoke started!

18th November – CH4 – Big Top

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Rating: 9.0/10 (3 votes cast)

EVIL was setting the run, and she’d done a web search to try and find a virgin runsite! The runsite was probably virgin – it looked like it had been dug out a few days before, and we proceeded to park up in a mud pit. Fortunately it wasn’t raining! I was pretty sure we’d run around the area fairly recently though!

The hare brief warned us about the potential of 200m circle checks (just to fuck with us), as well as false trails etc. I was trying to pay attention, but wasn’t the only one suffering from an EVIL induced hangover! 😉 Anyway, Humperdick and I set off running and the trail started with a circle. Only one obvious trail away from it, and I was calling OnOn at the road. We ducked into a resort, and a circle at the side of a lake. Clearly we had to go one side of the lake or the other, so I set off running – with potentially 200m to the first powder I got to the other side of the lake before I heard Chuckie calling from the road on the cliff above me. Darn it to buggery, I was screwed!

I cut through a resort that Bend Over and HRA have used as an A bucket before, and rejoined the trail behind Frozen Dick. I caught Human Excrement as he guarded a check – no effort to kick it out, just standing and guarding!

The trail headed up the hill, a nice trail that I’ve run down before – I prefer running down it! Semen Soars and Chuckie were enjoying themselves up front while Poo and I enjoyed ourselves behind Unplugged and Beautiful Box! There’s a great trail that cuts around the side of the mountain, and we could see SS ahead, so far ahead… After a circle check the hare gave great attention to avoiding the nice trail down, cutting steep down an orchard instead. CW didn’t like it, but he didn’t like me throwing myself off the side either, so we hit the rubber wall together. No chance either of us was going to check left – that’s about a 10km detour!!! The next False Trail caught out CW because he’s a good sport, and it let Poo join us at the last check.

The memory of the 200m circle checks had faded, and the pack regrouped as we didn’t want to go past 120… Finally CW found it and jogged on home. Very similar to a run that Bend Over and HRA have set in reverse, but there is a good reason – it’s a good run!

17th November – CSH3 – Superbitch

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Superbitch teamed up with Wooly Jumper for the run, and they were looking suitably haggard when we showed up – they were busy picking the grass seeds out of their trousers. An ominous sign. They told me roughly where to start, but with the paper starting around a few corners, we were lucky to find the out trail!

At the first check we passed one of the world’s most mangy dogs, and I was attacked by a few more as I missed where the trail left the road up into the hills. It was a scramble up the shiggy bank to a trail and HRA hit the front. I jogged along with Horny Monkey, Humperdick and Unplugged until we met HRA coming back from a false trail at a cross check. I got lucky at the next check and hit a few checks spot on, going well until HRA caught me at a circle check on the top of a hill.

The trails looked familiar, we were close to where Square Rooter and I set about a month back. HRA sprinted off past me to check to the left, and I reluctantly went to the right – this time I was lucky though, and found the trail through a field and into some more shiggy. It was slow going and I heard Chuckie behind asking how far ahead I was.

Now we were on the trails I knew and getting another circle right I sped ahead rounded a corner and there was the “ON IN”. I was a little confused as I didn’t think we were that close to the A, but we had already done 4.5km or so. I kept plugging away, and then got off paper. Chuckie caught up as I started thinking I’d screwed up, but after 500m or so, we found some paper.

CW was begging me to let him overtake after the On-In, and eventually I let him go. Semen Soars also went past. How far was this??? My GPS said about 2.2km from the On-In back to the beers… It seems the hares hadn’t scouted and had grossly misjudged where they were, and neglected to go back and move the On-In. Shame as that was probably the only downside to a nice run on some great trails!

11th November – CH4 – Belly Dancer

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

The 11th of the 11th of the 12th… Belly Dancer was in a good mood. After an early morning meet up to rescue a stranded Bangkok hasher, he set off to lay the trail with Anything. In the evening at 11 seconds after 11 minutes after 9pm, he was particularly happy – Belly being a big fan of palindromic time:- 21:11:11 11/11/12

But back to the run – what would he have in store…? Yellow paper and red paper? More confusion – this time if we got to a white cross check, it wasn’t really a white cross check, it was actually a Wimp/Rambo split. Conventionally in Chiang Mai we mark with a clear W/R, and cross checks mean the correct trail is one of 3 options. No wonder we need to pay attention to the hare brief!

We set off up the hill and pretty soon came across strips of white paper. At a circle check Skiddy found trail way down the hill to the left, while Can’t Stop Cumming was way down the hill to the right. Good efforts from her to get back with the pack. At the bottom of the steep bank we climbed back up the other side, back to where we would have got to if we’d have just carried on up the perfectly pleasant trail. WTF? Scrambling over the bank of the mountain there was actually another trail here – white strips of paper??? Who else would be so stupid as to set a trail here? Ah yes… Belly Dancer did…

Back on the ridge it was HRA leading the way and we descended to another almost invisible circle check, hiding in plain site at the edge of a field. Home advantage – I’d been here many times, so ran off to the road and found the infamous cross check / wimp rambo split. I ran off to the right with Poo, shouting for Junglicious to join us on the Rambo trail. Confusion reigned but eventually almost all the hashers followed me – Skid Mark being the exception. He had to check left, and ended up doing the wimp trail on his own. As we ran along Poo was asking ‘Are you sure this is a good idea? Belly Dancer? Rambo trail?’

I burst ahead to get the choice at the next check and left Poo to do the dummy check. Hah – it was a long way to paper there, but eventually I was on, and now it was a rerun of Just Cumming’s run from a month back. Nice – I enjoyed it back then, and breezed through a few checks again today – until we hit the blasted tarmac. No more checks, just miles of grueling tarmac. Foot Loose from Bangkok picked me off, and I started going backwards.

Finally back at the A. Better than many of BD’s runs, but not his best ever!

10th November – CSH3 – Square Rooter

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Rating: 9.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Is Square Rooter finally mellowing in his old age? He chose a run site with a great view out over some rolling hills, rather than at the bottom of a steep mountain. With positive comments about the run being passed around in advance, we set off with the returning Horny Monkey picking up the first check.

The 2nd circle had us foxed for a while, the trail continuing across the road and through a blocked gate across the field. Duly delayed the pack was together as we ambled up to the ridge line and along the top. There Square Rooter had invented a brand new check – a circle with trail leading in 2 directions, with one trail just stopping. It was Doesn’t Get It that led us nowhere and later Skiddy that found the true trail. By this time I was half a kilometer away at the bottom of the hill. I made attempts to get back, but in the end skirted up the road and intercepted Skiddy as he came down the trail.

With Poo in hot pursuit we hit some fantastic running trails that we could really open up on. With these trails Square Rooter was really spoiling us! From nowhere Skiddy appeared in front of me at a V check – he’d found some cunning short cut. The trail then took us off in a pointless loop back to a few yards from the check back I’d already seen. Beautiful Box, Unplugged, Sticky Wicket and Big Top were all seen passing through the check back and joining the front pack for a slog up the steep hill where the hare was grinning like a toothless fairy.

HRA took a turn at the front only to get the last check wrong, and it was Sloppy Rod that lead the way (IN FLIP FLOPS FFS) down the stony path back to the A. That was a really, really nice run.

13th October – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Mr. Poo chose Frozen Dick to co-hare with him, and that explains why the run was way out past Doi Saket, and not at Wat Umong or the Boy Scout Camp..! Anyway, we made our way out to the outstation, with Superman and Chilly Pussy missing the run start. Sups was duly punished for not getting the beer there on time, and Humps protested the lack of water. Turkish had already confused most of the drivers by stopping at the wrong A site, while Big Top, Geisha Gash and Shagless cruised way past the A bucket, presumably scouting future runs?

After such a shambolic start, we set off and I immediately got the first check wrong, but I caught back up with the FRBs as we approached a lake that I have some less than fond memories of. Jogging down away from the lake, I kicked a snake by mistake – ugh!!! At the cross check, Chuck Wao correctly guessed uphill and after coming back from the check back a largish group proceeded up the hill. They hares had done a good job with the checks, and there were some more tough ones to come – Skiddy found the paper after a great check that brought everyone back together before sending us down a tiny ‘trail’? We scrambled across a hill and as we emerged to a small trail the other end, we were completely disoriented.

Turkish got the pick of the check and cruised off the way we all wanted to go. We suspected him of silent running and followed after him – meanwhile, Sloppy Rod was the silent running c*nt who wanted to win like a racist bastard and refused to call again for the rest of the run. As Chuck Wao, myself and HRA pursued him fortunately he got his just deserts and was later punished on the ice.

The circle was fun, and then it was in to town to be punished by the evil Big Top!