Tag Archives: His Royal Anus

22nd December – CSH3 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on December 24, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Christmas is coming and Byte My Yahoo was in a festive mood. Two minibuses full of hashers turned up at the Agricultural Centre to find Santa Claus, and the grinch (played by Frozen Dick) in full costume with powder and a sack of presents! During the hare brief we discovered that there would be presents at circle checks and that we should ingest, wear or solve them before moving on.

We set off, with Belly Dancer racing so fast that he made the first circle check! He unwrapped the present to discover sweets which he wasn’t going to share until Unplugged made him. We all know he’s on the naughty list this year! At the next circle check Mr Poo went the right way immediately but the paper was so far away he’d given up and was just wandering aimlessly when he found it. We carried on through the central field, to the left, round the wall and through the buildings. Angry Inch got a free dress, which he refused to wear! Luckily His Royal Anus had a better sense of humour and proudly FRBed the rest of the run in sartorial splendour.

The next great present was the beer stop. Skidmark stopped all the racist bastards who attempted to race off (notably Square Router and Snail Trail) until we’d finished the beer – and then we proceeded to fail to find the trail. By the time we found it going through the orchard even Pamela had caught up, with Slippery when Wet and several other walkers.

Across the dam, through the barbed wire and along through the white gate, up through the same small path, U-turn and back to 3 metres away from the entrance, same as for the last ag centre live hare and then back to the main lake. At this point Byte My Yahoo was waiting for the pack to spot him, waving at them and with several presents, including a wooden puzzle which would have to be solved before the pack moved on.

Sadly the half-minds completely failed to notice him and wandered straight in after the lake, beating the live hare to the circle! :) BMY wandered in, bemused, a while later to witness the finger pointing by Horny Monkey and others, though most agreed it was all Dead Virgin’s fault. In typical hash fashion we then went on to give him the wings and have the most disorganised gift exchange ever. Excellent hash behaviour and a Merry Hashmas to all! :)

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4th August – CSH3 – His Royal Anus

Posted on August 4, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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One of hashs best kept secrets, HRA didn’t want anyone to know where the run was – he was even out laying trail before he got someone to send a message where it was – was he so ashamed of his run? I guess we would soon find out and we were pointed off in the general direction of the temple steps (near the football field towards Sameong). Ominous, but HRA has a habit of giving information away without intending to give information away – so I was confident of not needing to climb the steps.

Sure enough I ran into paper along the road and diverted onto the trail up the hill. I was in Forrest Gump mode, and felt like running – up the mountain which put me ahead of the pack. I spied a little trail down to the left, and a circle up ahead, and I was on hash fire – hitting everything. I called, behind, but not sure if anyone could hear even now.

Hopped over a little wall, and followed paper down a road that seemed to loop in a circle. A gate to the left and a familiar car parked through it with Hollow Legs emerging with Nutcracker… Hmmm… I could see the paper leading off in a circle ahead, but there were surely Skiddy Sticks over there, so I clambered over the gate and was back on the trail as we again headed up the hill. No sounds behind, just running, and nailing a few more checks. I tried calling and with hindsight, I screwed the trail to some extent with the pack cutting across a valley following my calls someway ahead.

A loop up and down, and finally the hares thwarted my perfect hash – Damn those Skiddy Sticks!!! Still I replaced them appropriately, and continued on with no sounds from behind beyond the echoes of my On-On calls. My luck had changed though and at the next check I wasted time checking up a nice looking trail to the left… Back down and I found the trail straight on, with the first sounds from behind as Alice closed me down.

Another check, and could I out think those hares? Damnit!!! Alice slipped past me as I came running back into the mix. Having been lonely all run, I tried to chase him down to have someone to chat to, but he accelerated and left me behind – across the rice fields and to the On-In…. An On-In which hadn’t yet been placed, so Alice did an extra couple of clicks on the out trail – justice was served – my beer was cold as Sups had got there on time to help us chill the beer!

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7th August – CH4 – His Royal Anus

Posted on August 7, 2011 by admin| Leave a comment
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HRA chose a run site he’d only run at before – but I guess he must have missed out on many of Kwazi’s runs that used the same area until we got shot at on the 4th July! Nonetheless we set off on familiar trails with Belly Dancer and I jogging off to the first check – tough luck BD, I was right and didn’t see BD again till the end.

Given the rain the up trail was slippery and kept most of us on our toes with Chuck Wao again slipping away and running through a couple of checks.  I finally caught him up when he was confused by two circle checks that were close together – I guess we missed a bit of the trail, but the rain was falling and we were still on trail.

CW, a guy called FootLong and I escaped from the pack and were doing well till we hit a circle as we rejoined a main trail. Foot Long took the obvious downhill trail to the left, CW was forced to head uphill to the right so I took a less obvious trail that kinda went straight. None of us found trail and we spent too much time hacking around before we realised Foot Long had screwed up and finally found the trail clearly marked going down the hill.

Chuck Wao and Foot Long were off, and I chased as best I could along the slippery down hill trail. It was a good run, and without the weather it could have been a great run! A run so great that Kwazi has set is for us several times already – give or take a corner or so. Mr. Poo was back for the circle and slowly warmed up. It was great to see a few extras show up – Beautiful Box brought a crew and Fish and Tits appeared to wait the run out in the car! Good Work HRA.

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CH4 & CBH3 – Bone Collector & His Royal Anus

Posted on June 26, 2011 by admin| Leave a comment
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It was decided that the CH4 would run with the bunnies today…  With a couple missing in Phuket and the election causing problems for the On-On, the hares conspired to save energies and combine the two hashes – an interesting decision, which certainly brought more runners to both runs. The Bunnies were very welcoming and things transpired fairly smoothly.

The hare brief was particularly brief with Bone Collector simply pointing towards the gates of Chez Swallow and saying “That Way”.  Even that seemed fairly redundant as there was only one way out of the property.  And so it is, we were off.  S&M Girl was on fire – she couldn’t get a check wrong and was holding the bunnies end up on her own! A recovering Mr. Poo joined Skid Mark, Bone Hur, Green Pussy and Byte My Yahoo in the mix as the trail zig zagged confusingly and just went on and on through rice fields, orchards – all the while being wet and slippery underfoot.

It seems HRA hasn’t learnt anything.  Yesterday he got grief for an extended run with me that led the normally mild mannered Miss Piggy to exhaustion.  Today he promised a 5km run – but the GPS doesn’t lie and the shortest result was around 7km.  No wonder it took us an hour to finish – with Bone Hur breathing down my neck along a very long road finish.

Interestingly nobody saw Chuck Wao all run! Rumours were spreading about him taking extended loops to avoid the water, or perhaps he’d had a problem?  Nope – he conspired with Jungle Chim and Frozen Dick to fulfil ‘when in Bunny Land, do a Bunny’.  While none of the Bunnies were willing, the 3 musketeers walked around, chatted about the weather, and even stopped to buy beer at one of the supposedly closed corner shops.  Sadly, they forgot to shortcut – the ultimate sign of a Bunny! 😉

No offence intended to the bunnies, they were very welcoming and even let Mr. Poo have his ego boost with some of the circle. I wonder how the men would react if someone suggested combining a run with the bunnies?  Perhaps we should learn from the bunnies and be open to changing traditions?  But then again, perhaps there are good reasons different groups run separately – back to CH4 next week!

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