Tag Archives: Frozen Dick

Sunday 17th Feb – CH4 – Semen Sores

Posted on February 18, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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It was out to Semen’s favourite run site, and as usual people got lost.. This time I feel a little sorry for the hare as he’d built a mountain of signs and there were signs at virtually every junction – I blame the lazy Mr. Poo for fucking off on honeymoon and not getting the directions out in the sms, or perhaps the lazy HRA for not bothering with emails this week. Whatever the run was delayed and we all got there.

SS planned a live hare with assistance from his son – you should have seen his face when I told him Gorf was coming down from Chiang Rai for the run!!! He almost set off to set the run straight away, but instead adjusted his headstart from 5 to 6 minutes. Finally he set off up the temple steps and we (apart from Frozen Dick) waited dutifully for 6 minutes before setting off. At the first circle I found one thread of paper inadvertently dropped a few yards to the left, and we were off at a good pace determined to catch the bastard.

Gorf, Chuckie and I jogged along and took turns in peeling off on the wrong trail until we got to the first “Graven” Check. Wow – SS must love GI, he picked him out for special attention! Fortunately GI was right up there with us and we continued out into the rice fields with Angry Inch tagging along – the little guy was determined not to do any checking, preferring to play a game of “follow the leader”. Even he decided not to short cut though as there wouldn’t be paper there yet to cut across to.

I like the concept of live hares, and the pace was quick – we didn’t know he’d planned an 8 km monster! We looped around and crossed the canal, only to come back across at the next bridge and head into the rice fields. It isn’t the right time of year to be on the rice walls – is there a good time? One farmer was justifiably annoyed, particularly when None of Your Business decided to straight line it destroying his crops. I pottered along trying not to do much damage, and then lucked out when the trail did a big zig zag. We got back onto the out trail, and a tired (blistered) Chucky came alongside and we walked in together putting the world to rights!

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11th Feb – CH3 – Humperdick

Posted on February 11, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Exhaustion… 2 brutal runs by Skiddy, (inspired by Belly & Square Rooter), over the weekend coupled with an epic afternoon drinking session (inspired by Gascoigne & Big Top) had me feeling worse for wear over my coffee this morning. Nonetheless I made it to work, and my hangover had the common decency to kick in right about the time my class was due to start. Bugger – there could only be one cure for it, so I set off to the hash.

Humperdick Humperdick Humperdick – couldn’t be too bad right? He hasn’t really built a reputation for runs (yet). I mean – apart from them being on canal road. I’m not entirely sure what his style is, but he does put in effort, so I was hopeful he’d be kind and gentle….

We were pointed off and Belly Dancer did his usual olympic sprinter start. My brain told my legs to run, and my legs told my brain to fuck off. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. At the first check Belly went off to the right, and I found the paper straight on. Normally at this point it’s the end of Belly’s charge and we meet him back at the circle for a beer, but not today. Today he’d roided up and was on a mission. He stormed ahead while I fucked up at the first Skiddy check. He was 100m ahead of everyone till he came to a small decline that was about 3 steps down, and by the time he’d crossed it, he was 100m behind. Seriously? Even Horny Monkey passed him!

Into the hills we went and there was a part that confused everyone. Horny Monkey did one route, while Angry Inch, Graven and I did another – neither was right, and when the EVIL MOFO HARE described later what he actually wanted us to do, I was glad about the ‘compromise’ we’d come to. Compromise? Short Cut? Who cares?

The trail started climbing… Who am I kidding? There was no fucking trail… We scrambled over shiggy crap with leaves covering rocks tripping our way over the hill – a familiar trail – I didn’t enjoy it the first time we’d done it… Finally we got out to the guys yard, and he proudly pointed out the paper on his bushes… We meet random people out on trail, but it’s nice when they are happy for us to run through their gardens! I sprinted past GI & AI, and immediately regretted it, taking the wrong option at the gate.

Damn… I tried to run… but my legs resisted… It took some determined self restraint to set off following the paper rather than just shortcutting back to the beer, but I managed. Hardly any more checks, just another 3km or so around and back to the A. At least this bit was flat. I finally got back some 10 minutes or so after the FRBs, but it was a long time before Frozen Dick dragged in the stragglers; Slippery When Wet, Fishy Fingers and Tip Toe.

Sups had thought better of the whole affair and done a “Festering Tool”.

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3rd January – CH4 – His Royal Anus

Posted on February 5, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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HRA teamed up with Crazy Crack and Ravenous to set a run out towards the Tiger Camp. He likes that area, and this time had found a new A-Bucket. He looked proud of himself as he pointed out the luvly shelter he’d found with a luvly bridge next to it. Turns out he had got lost and used this location by default! Crazy Crack guarded the shelter warning us to duck to get in – except for Frozen who collapsed to the ground with a thud.

On Out, and Angry Inch led the way through a rice field and he was away getting the first few checks spot on. I figured the golf course was nearby and wasn’t surprised when we ended up on the canal trail that cuts through the golf course. A check at the end brought the pack back together while we found our way out onto the road. When we hit the road, I figured we had to loop left or right, and with 15 holes on the right and only 3 holes to the left, left seemed the logical choice, and sure enough Graven and I found trail.

Shortly after we found skiddy sticks but I was having a purple patch hitting everything right. UNTIL we got to another road and a V check. What kind of a dumbass checks right? Up the hill in the wrong direction along the fence of a farm that I knew was enormous and impossible to get through? Chuckie and Sloppy Rod got a jump on the rest of us as bizarrely lots of others came following me.

Sloppy was on good form and nailed the last check, before a long run along the mud road and back in on the out trail. A pleasant run in a new area – good work hares!

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27th January – CH4 – Anything & Throbbing Ninja

Posted on January 27, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Anything & Throbbing Ninja teaming up to set the run…. Run that past me again? Throbbing Ninja has a historic reputation for welcoming a group of visitors from overseas by setting one of the biggest hill climbs in hash history (recently surpassed by the ball breaker, but epic nonetheless). Anything has set some good runs, but you can be sure they will always be a tough test. I was worried!

We set off onto the road and back on a familiar trail through the field. Angry Inch was on my heels, and immediately my calf started tightening up. I just hoped I’d run it off and it did seem to ease off, but my legs were definitely feeling the effects of Frozen’s run the day before.

The pack was kept together as we searched for paper with the hares laying trail on the left, and then the right, and then the left, and then hiding it in trees (so it wouldn’t get burnt?). The road took us up and we finally got to a check. Angry Inch must be obsessed with my ass, and he followed me around the corner as Chuckie spluttered. It was HRA tho that checked the other way and when I turned back at the check back, sure enough CW was also behind me!

The next opportunity took us up into the hills and most of the run was on the great trails up in the mountains. Our visitor from Florida couldn’t stop smiling – he’d loved it! As we came down the hill there was a breakaway of Mr Poo, Angry Inch and now named (Cheap) Hole Hunter being chased down by HRA, myself, Chuck Wao and Graven Image. There were some excellent places for checks, but no checks as we back and forth up and down at the edge of the hills. Finally we hit the trail at the bottom and it was home free. I slowed to a walk and was gradually passed by Skiddy, Unplugged, Human Ex, while Crazy Crack & None of Your Business were close behind. Actually a great run that was a little much for me, with my only criticism being not enough checks at certain points!

Back in time for the circle….. Yikes!

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26th January – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

Posted on January 26, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Frozen Dick has a unique way of advertising his runs and one way or another… This time he chose “my” area past Doi Saket, and through various conversations over the week he’d mentioned “blue spirit houses” and a couple of other unique landmarks that gave me a damn good idea of the general route of the run – having set a bunch of runs there and previously scouting all the trails (and non-trails) around there, I was confident I knew all the permutations…

We set off with Angry Inch on my tail – literally – he followed me through the first couple of checks until I guessed one wrong – there were 2 main ways to get up onto the mountain, and the hare chose the other one. No matter, we headed back to the road and Angry Inch was lost soon at a check when he went through barbed wire to a trail to nowhere. Shortly further on the other trail into the mountain was on the right, but the trail continued down the road – hmmm… Go for it boys, I turned to Chuckie and we swiftly avoided a false trail and set off up to the hill.

There was a circle check and CW trusted me when I told him it was up the hill to a parallel trail – sure enough we got to powder, and then a circle. This time he didn’t trust me, and while I checked left, he went back to the right. I called “On” but didn’t see him again. I jogged along, simply enjoying running the trails that I’d set as a hare before, but never run. I found the hare’s knife, and spent the rest of the run with it open as I couldn’t figure out how to close it.

Around the ridge we came to the spirit house and down to the creek bed. The circle check there is ingenious – if you don’t know about the trail that runs just a bit further along the creek. Sadly for FD I knew where we were and the likes of Sloppy Rod, Graven Image, Skid Mark and Horny Monkey came straight along the creek following my calls – leaving an unbroken circle for CW to figure out.

The rest of us FRBs were onto the trail behind the mountain – a great running trail! Hard to set checks, as ‘straight’ is the obvious choice. With Sloppy and Graven around 100m behind they kicked out the checks each time I called them, until we reached the inevitable “skiddy sticks” hybrid check, complete with my own powder bottle! I could have set a new trail, but played the game and went back to mark the way over the ridge.

Another couple of checks were straight on with Sloppy snapping at my heels and Graven licking his chops. We hit the fence and though I’d been there a bunch of times I wasn’t sure – left and then right, or right and then left? Bugger… Sloppy slipped away to the left and I hooked up with Graven, Horny Monkey and Skid Mark for the final moments.

That’s my story of the run… It seems other people had many different stories behind me – Mr. Poo sloping off with Doesn’t Get It to make sure she does… Unplugged slipping away with Angry Inch to see if the extra angry inch is worth it… Big Top lagging behind with Redundant Semen to ??? who knows what they were up to, but it took a while for them to get back with FD needing to separate them.

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5th January – CSH3 OUTSTATION – Byte My Yahoo & Unplugged

Posted on January 6, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Looking back over my history running with CSH3 – the first Outstation of the year was usually in February – time enough to recover from the ‘festive season’. Dr Byte must have had some ingenious plan for making the OS the first run of the New Year.

Having survived the end of the World, 1111 and the Fiscal Cliff – just what did the virile duo have in mind? Mae Moh is home to the largest open pit lignite mine in Thailand (extra fascinating info here – http://www.mine-planning.com/Homepage/publications_documents/maemoh.pdf). I had Googled the location and Dr Byte had posted a couple of tempting photo’s to whet our appetites’.

The Friday before was a ‘golfing day’ – I hear this was a great success with one beer per stoke after the 4th hole, and this was followed by a night of drunken debauchery I can’t even begin to write about.

Perhaps wisely I set off on Saturday with Mr Poo and Knockout – what a delight, Knockout sitting up front with me was Poo’s desperate plan to make me drive ‘sensibly’ – and I did – more time with Knockout – thanks Poo – your very lucky and hope you both will be very happy. En route Dr Byte called and asked us to get some powder – huh!? This was a bit ominous – earlier in the morning he called me – and I thought it was some deranged pervert heavy breathing down the line – had he been laying trail or laying Unplugged!!??

Duly we arrived at the EGAT facility with its small town of 1970’s box student dorms – Dick Tracy was the first we encountered and I decided to leave Mr & Mrs Poo to settle in while take a quick look at the mine and power plant.

Behind the power plant were some very tempting looking hills (mountains) – Horny Monkey knew I’d like it here – and I did!

OK OK – enough pre-amble, so what was the run like?

The hares had organised a luxury (compared to the songtheow) coach to take us to A – Wow! – what a place to start a run – a platform sticking out over the valley with the mine and reservoir below – very cool indeed!

So photo op and moment to catch up friends – good to see Big Top and Red Carpet back in town. The hare brief was given an Dr Byte and Unplugged wanted a 2 min head start for an initial live hared section (hence the powder call). Unplugged was clearly visible going up a tower to no-where (that only Horny Monkey gamely went) while BmY arced off to set the real trail. Dick Tracy and Sunspot ignored the 2 mins and raced after him. Dick the Boy Wonder was valiantly trying to delay us by singing some obscure/obscene Texan Hash song – but as the 2 mins popped up – off I went.

Sunspot has been running pretty well of late and had probably 500m under his belt, with Dick Tracy racing ahead – I had to run him down to get to the first check. I’m sure BmY was delighted at the 500m checking I did – wrong! He was chuckling away at the check and rightly predicted I’d catch up with the pack soon enough.

In the middle of ‘thorn forest’ – the checks were tricky and did really well confusing the hell out of us with FRB lead changing frequently. Horny Monkey and Skid Mark seemed to be most energetic – taking it in turns to find the Skiddy Stix. HRA seemed to be getting nearly every check wrong, until he lucked out and the ‘thorn tunnels’ section of the run.

Here HRA used his advantage and powered ahead with Big Top, Game Set & Snatch, visitor Skiddy, Shagless, Red Carpet, Pamala, Mr Poo and me in pursuit.

For the short cutters there was a convenient road parallel to the ‘tunnels’ – so they easily kept up with Thobbing Ninja and Superman enjoying our shrieks at getting skewered with thorns and stickers every few meters.

Looking to the East – there were gorgeous mountains were crying out for a (Lanna?) hash on/up then, but BmY would have none of that – dirt, stickers, cow shit, flat, flat and more flat were on his mind and he joyfully kept popping up at every other check to marvel at how well he was keeping the pack together.

The highest elevation change was a mere 4 meters – but it was great fun. Just under 7km we came On In to the waiting coach – overlooking the stunning valley as the sun was beginning to set. Everyone came in close together – Frozen Dick was in ahead of the foragers – Cumalot, Super Bitch and Throbbing Ninja.

Screwed Up ran his first run since his knee op and well deservedly got the Male Wings.

The circle was joyful and fun – beer flowed and humour grew as the sun set over the valley – excellent job hares!

OnOn
BD

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29th December – CSH3 – Skid Mark

Posted on December 30, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Skiddy teamed up with Frozen Dick, and FD couldn’t have been happier! The directions were on the Maejo road and then left… – that rules out any hills! 😀 Virgin area and a typical Skiddy location. I got there first and found the A bucket in the middle of some rice paddies with water all over the place.

We set off, and immediately I got off paper having missed a circle check. The trail cut to the right and we spent a while weaving backwards and forwards around rice fields crossing over the same god damn road again and again, while the walkers (and Graven Image) just strolled along the road. Finally we cut off and found a way through rice fields and out to a village.

Then was a circle check that took a good 10 minutes to find. Dick the boy tried to kick it out early, Unplugged chatted up the locals and half the pack took off on a huge short cut down the road missing out on some lovely trails that eventually Horny Monkey, HRA and I found with Semen Soars joining us from the wrong direction.

The rest of the checks were already kicked out by the short cutters and one by one we past the walkers. I passed Sun Spot and thought we must be nearly home – although this time he’d managed to do a v. healthy amount of the run. I past Miss Piggy and Cumalot as they danced Gangnam Style to the village music. Finally I saw the On-In and could get a beer. Good turn out at the OnOnOn – nice food at a new restaurant.

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23rd December – CH4 – Suckit

Posted on December 24, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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It was down the canal road to Suckit’s favourite run setting area – just by his house… The turnout was large by CH4 standards, a 2nd songthaew needed to bring everyone from town. Eventually Suckit pointed us out the gate and I set off with Angry Inch hot on my heels. At the first V check, he just followed me rather than checking. He was running well! We headed towards the hills, and then the dogs attacked. Swarms of yapping, growling canines as I tried to check, they were only driven more aggressively as the pack chased after me.

In the hills, I kept getting the checks right with Dead Virgin, Mr Poo, Angry Inch and HRA hot on my heels. Somewhere Skiddy was getting everything wrong… Angry Inch kicked out one check wrong, and refused to go back to correct it – I did feel sorry for the DFLs for a moment, until I found Klaus Barber (welcome back!) and Frozen Dick had short cut ahead of me – and Robin Banks was up there too.

I emerged from the woods with HRA, Dead Virgin, and Graven Image was hot on our heels. The “race” was on. Down the hill on the home straight and finally there was the On-In – the traditional end of the hash. But Dead Virgin couldn’t help himself but to race home, Graven, Poo and HRA followed suit. Bunch of racist bastards!

Back at the A, the circle was a treat! Lots of fun! Then the food at Ya’s was great – until the karaoke started!

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22nd December – CSH3 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on December 24, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Christmas is coming and Byte My Yahoo was in a festive mood. Two minibuses full of hashers turned up at the Agricultural Centre to find Santa Claus, and the grinch (played by Frozen Dick) in full costume with powder and a sack of presents! During the hare brief we discovered that there would be presents at circle checks and that we should ingest, wear or solve them before moving on.

We set off, with Belly Dancer racing so fast that he made the first circle check! He unwrapped the present to discover sweets which he wasn’t going to share until Unplugged made him. We all know he’s on the naughty list this year! At the next circle check Mr Poo went the right way immediately but the paper was so far away he’d given up and was just wandering aimlessly when he found it. We carried on through the central field, to the left, round the wall and through the buildings. Angry Inch got a free dress, which he refused to wear! Luckily His Royal Anus had a better sense of humour and proudly FRBed the rest of the run in sartorial splendour.

The next great present was the beer stop. Skidmark stopped all the racist bastards who attempted to race off (notably Square Router and Snail Trail) until we’d finished the beer – and then we proceeded to fail to find the trail. By the time we found it going through the orchard even Pamela had caught up, with Slippery when Wet and several other walkers.

Across the dam, through the barbed wire and along through the white gate, up through the same small path, U-turn and back to 3 metres away from the entrance, same as for the last ag centre live hare and then back to the main lake. At this point Byte My Yahoo was waiting for the pack to spot him, waving at them and with several presents, including a wooden puzzle which would have to be solved before the pack moved on.

Sadly the half-minds completely failed to notice him and wandered straight in after the lake, beating the live hare to the circle! :) BMY wandered in, bemused, a while later to witness the finger pointing by Horny Monkey and others, though most agreed it was all Dead Virgin’s fault. In typical hash fashion we then went on to give him the wings and have the most disorganised gift exchange ever. Excellent hash behaviour and a Merry Hashmas to all! :)

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15th December – CSH3 – Belly Dancer / Big Top / Frozen Dick / Skid Mark – RUN 1,111

Posted on December 16, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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The day had finally come, and it was time to head out to the biggest hash of the year – the biggest hash in a couple of years since the 1,000 run. I wasn’t feeling too well on account of Human Excrement, but managed to scramble my way out to the runsite a bit early to make sure everything was in order. There was a pervasive nervous tension around, or was that just my dodgy stomach? My ribs were hurting and I wasn’t sure I was up for the 11 grueling KM the hares had put together.

The first beer stop was immediate – great way to start, except that it was Chang, and I immediately wanted to vomit! Then it was chasing Frozen Dick’s live haring – with 11 minutes headstart of course! The crowd of around 90 set off and just around the corner had our 2nd beer stop. Across the carpark was the 3rd beer stop with a 4th on the reservoir wall. Time for a group photo and for the pack to split between the ‘long run’ and the ‘short run’.

The hares had given me some inside information about the start of the long run, so I had little choice but to take that option, and led the way towards the ‘zoo’. We’d been told something about just follow the trail and just through the gate there would be a circle check. Well we went through a gate and spread out looking for trail. Sadly you can rely on hashers fucking things up, and the gate was somewhere else. Plenty of time eaten up already and we hadn’t even found the trail.

When we found the circle, it was a tricky one, and took another 10 minutes or so before Dead Virgin picked up the scent and we were off. The circles were pretty small (quarter A4), and we missed the 2nd circle check, but eventually found the trail further on. My ribs were killing me – I really shouldn’t have been running, and promptly collapsed vomiting on the trail, which didn’t help at all.

OnOn, and the pack was brought back with some skiddy sticks. Anal Birth found the trail off to the right and gave the least inspiring call in history. The checks had been screwing with us, and at one point we’d done 3km in an hour. This was going to be a long 11km. Finally we emerged and saw Frozen and Skiddy checking on our slow progress. Another regroup, and by now my ribs were just a dull constant agony, so I had a bit of a run with Alice past another reservoir. Great running trails all over the place, and the pace picked up. We took a sharp turn up some steps and found a circle. As I checked straight on all of a sudden I heard Graven calling confidently to the right and Alice calling confidently to the left. There were OnOns all around me and in my confused state I had no idea where to go, so I kept on forwards and finally intercepted the trail on top of a ridge. Alice came running up to me, and we jogged on together with a large part of the pack having missed out the whole mountain part of the run.

I had very little idea where we were, but the checks had been kicked out so I just kept jogging along until we bumped into Screwed Up complete with beer for another beer stop. He had no idea what was going on and nor did Chilly Pussy just around the corner. Finally we saw Big Top holding a sign on the other side of a little lake, begging us to swim across to her – it was a short cut! I gave Mr. Poo my watch and jumped in leaving Poo and Alice to jog off the long way around the lake. We were definitely not a pack any more, but Suckit appeared as I was climbing out and duly jumped in for a swim. Dead Virgin took the swim option too.

Along the road a bit and we found Angry Inch running towards us, eventually figuring out where we were and found trail leading into the last 4 beer checks. I think I missed a beer check, and some how passed the other long run runners. Oh well, I’d done enough and had to get the circle started while the remaining runners made it back in fits and starts – Semen Soars being the last man in as the circle closed, and Cumalot strolling along with her headphones.

OnOnOn to the river market for some excellent food and some more post run analysis. Thanks to all who put in so much effort – and thank goodness it’s over! 😉

My GPS track has gained a bit of distance as I forgot to switch it off…

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