Tag Archives: Does Nothing

5th December – CH3 – Liberace

Posted on December 5, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Libbers teamed up with Crap Thai, and headed to a favourite hunting ground out in Maejo at Praphats farm. This time the songthaew arrived in time and we were ready to go on time. The co-hare handed out torches like confetti which did nothing to improve our confidence! The eagerness at the start was lacking, and in the end it was Kwazi who broke into a run and got to the first check – only to stop and take a pee rather than actually check. With Sloppy heading left, I reluctantly headed right, and sure enough there was a check back. Damnit!

Back on trail, and I was at the back, but the next check (a cross) still hadn’t been solved. Brownie was put off from checking left as there was a gate with a sign saying keep out. Finally it was called from through the gate, although we hadn’t found a check back straight. It was a bit fishy, but fortunately I knew a way of bypassing the house with the keep out sign…. Unfortunately the way I knew was now overgrown and impossible to pass. I was forced to go back to the check, and I was way, way behind. For the rest of the trail there were nowhere near enough checks to give me any chance of getting back into it either. I overtook Frozen Dick and Tip Toe as we passed a random drunk guy ranting about how he would follow us if he hadn’t had a car crash – wtf? Next up Soapy was panting his way up a small incline.

I know the area pretty well, but Libbers did a great job of finding a trail that wasn’t familiar to me. We cut up the side of a hill on a little goat trail – perfectly hashable, except when you get stuck behind Does Nothing, Kwazi and Square Rooter. It was quite treacherous in places – steep cliff off to the side, but better than some trails we’ve been expected to survive. A nice loop and I was wondering where we would pop out. I met ABB on the descent and then Shrek, who both stuck on my heels as we tried to swing from tree to tree down the steep rocky goat trail. At the bottom was Pussy Whisperer and Cuckold, and then amazingly Frozen Dick and TipToe – excellent hashing! I figured there may be some good checks on the last stretch which might give me a chance to get back into it, and jogged off pausing briefly to retrieve Mr. Poo who was randomly wandering off in the wrong direction – I do wonder how often he does that…

I pushed off, but there were no checks, it was just trail across the motocross track, through an A-site that I like, and back to the OnIn on the far side of the lake. A nice route, but could have done with some more checks to keep people together, and give me a chance to catch up!

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26th September – CH3 – Mr. Poo

Posted on September 26, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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A big congratulations to Mr. Poo as he is accepted into the Belly Dancer academy for hares who lost hashers in the dark on a mountain. At least it wasn’t raining… much… I slipped away from work and managed to make it to the hash – it was on my way home, so I really should make the effort! Over 2 months since I’ve been on the male hash, but I still wasn’t considered a returner – meh!

Behind the conference center, and we set off up the hill behind the temple. I seemed to be the only one running, and nailed the first couple of checks. The hares had tried to hide the paper on the trail beyond the barbed wire fence, but I could just about see a bit of white. The trail eventually turned left, and I so nearly checked there first, but was far enough ahead to get back, and find the trail, along with Square Rooter. Another circle, and we both thought Poo was heading towards the Boy Scout camp – typical Poo style! We checked further than we should have, and finally HRA called up the hill to the right. Damnit! My guts were screaming at me, and a Horny Monkey was definitely needed. I headed back slowly making sure the pack passed by, so I could find a quiet area.

I wasted around 5 minutes and thought I probably wouldn’t see the pack again. Climbed another hill, and came down to a nice flat trail – these trails are definitely more overgrown than last time I was up there! I rounded a corner and there was Piggy, along with just about everyone else. A stretch without paper had slowed everyone down and I was back with the pack, and lighter! We came out onto the main trail, and I recognised the junction where Diddly Squat and I met the army a few months ago. I was tired and figured it was time to head home, but the hare had other ideas…

Square Rooter called ONON from up the hill again – I’d already suggested to Piggy it was unlikely, but we followed the call… Well over 100m, but this trail was starting to get confusing. Another check, and suspicions were confirmed – we were now going backwards. I guessed a “Figure OF 8″…

Figure of 8 – it seems either works, figure of 8 or figure 8 – I’ve not heard it without the of before! but I much prefer this definition – HERE – go on, click the link!

As we were going backwards on trail, I suggested to HRA & Piggy that we continue and figure out what we were supposed to have done, so we carried on, calling “NoNo”. HRA & Piggy seemed completely confused when trail ran out, and then 100m later there was a circle with paper running off it. I tried to explain, but in the end gave up. HRA later said “I know we were running backwards on trail, but it just seemed like it was the wrong way…” <– Yes, perhaps Does Nothing’s juices had an effect? A while later, we found Alice, ABB and a bunch of others coming the other way (the correct way). By now light was fading, and it was time to head back, which was back along the trail. Kwazi wasn’t convinced, and persuaded Pussy Whisperer to follow the road out to the Boy Scout camp – bad idea! They arrived much later after Pussy Whisperer paid for a songthaew. Piggy, HRA, Alice & ABB listened to me and followed me back, passing Mr. Poo on trail as we finally finished his 6KM run – I stepped off the mountain just as it went black, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be out there even 2 minutes longer! Others weren’t so lucky, but fittingly Poo was the last one in. The circle was…. wtf?! A couple of mouthfuls of Does Nothing’s special blend, and Frozen was leading the drunkenness. I’m alive, everyone made it, and I think everyone has forgiven Poo! Let’s change the runtime before someone gets hurt!

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August 25th – CH4 – Shagless & Doesn’t Get It

Posted on August 25, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rainstorms the night before, but it cleared up nicely in time for the hash. I left work early, fearful of traffic, but made reasonable time along Sameong Road, and then left down a smaller road to a new runsite. I’ve never hashed from there before, but I did take a look at it once with HRA when we were planning the ballbreaker – I was interested what Shagless had in store for us! Gradually the cars arrived and crawled up the hill, and most of the regulars were there. Unfortunately there was one notable absence, I find it disappointing that a long time, regular hasher, who does so much for the club, has been made to feel so uncomfortable that they don’t want to participate in hash activities after being repeatedly slandered. The hash is a social club that accepts anyone to join, so long as all who join get into the spirit of it with a bit of a run, silly names, ice time and drinking games where we poke a bit of fun at each other. So it isn’t for everyone, no problem, but there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed and in the spirit of having fun at the hash, personal grievances should be settled outside.

Back to the run! After the harebrief, it began with a circle check! Graven Image would be livid! I can hear him now saying “checks are to bring the pack together, an early check just scatters the pack!”. We all know that Gravy likes to walk to the first check, so it would have been a short walk for him! Fortunately I’d spied an interesting little trail heading up the hill, and sure enough, the hares had found it too. I was way ahead as the rest of the pack had to come back from exploring the car park. I continued and found another check. Continue up the hill – hell I didn’t want to check down! Nothing, so I tried another option, still nothing, and we were called back down.

I jogged down the hill, for the first time breaking into a bit of a run, but I really just wasn’t in the mood. We got to a junction where there was no check, but paper appearing to go in 2 directions. Square Rooter was coming back from one calling false trail, while Taste My Buns was coming back from another completely different direction – where there was no trail, but she claimed to have seen a check back… WTF was going on? I later found out the check back was actually some powder marking from the wimp trail, that Shagless had set on his motorbike – riding a motorbike turns blobs of powder into lines! Why she was there, nobody can answer, but we quickly followed the other paper uphill to another check. I got it wrong, and rejoined the trail at the Wimp Rambo. This had been a really good trail so far, but I just wasn’t feeling it for whatever reason – long day at work? dodgy knee? whatever excuse fits the bill, I opted for the wimp trail.

Back down the hill, and some confusion at the bottom with an arrow leading to a V-Check. A V-Check where one trail lead onwards, while the other lead back into the Rambo run. Fortunately for me I chose the rest of the trail, but Does Nothing behind me was not so lucky! An interesting idea to rejoin the trails, but probably one that shouldn’t be attempted again! I meanwhile carried on and followed the trail out, getting 1 V-check wrong. Some really great trail here and I think we will be back at some point! Thanks hares!

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4th August – CH4 – Pigshit & Baaabe

Posted on August 4, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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To my knowledge we hadn’t used the shelter before, but we were within a 100m of another runsite, out behind the canal road football field. Some good trails around here… – what would Piggy put together? We were set off and I was determined to walk for a bit. Immediately a V check – but the trail to the right was too tempting, so I went left. Straight away I could see something stuck to a tree up ahead, but had to get close to see if it was a check back, or a circle – luckily it was a circle, but I promptly got it wrong and had to play catch up down the hill. The checks came thick and fast, keeping us together and the lead rotating – good job hares!

Another few checks and we were trudging up a nice trail towards a great ridgeline and the Runner trail set off that way with the Walker trail heading down again – I do enjoy running that ridgeline trail. We’ve run it from several different runsites – Ob Kham, here, and even from near the quarries 5km along Sameong road. No matter where from, it is a great ridge trail – nice views, and nice gentle undulation. There was some blatant silent running ahead, but then somehow I got ahead, but CW was right on my tail. As we headed closer to the end of the right, I didn’t want to be 2nd to the ‘next check’. Surely everyone would know it was down to the right? Foolishly I gave that away and CW took full advantage. It turned out the hare had put a false trail, and I’d unwittingly given it away. CW, Scooby, Tasty and I headed down the hill, with Scooby & CW trading checks ahead of us like prize fighters. Down, up, around, through, and we were back to where the Walkers met the Runners.

I was back behind Chilly Pussy, a quick glance at my watch said 4km in, so 2-3km still to go, and everything kicked out by the walkers. Ack! The rest of the trail was pulling in walkers one by one. I had a brief chat with Anything as I passed her, and then Does Nothing was quick to point out that we’d passed the OnIn when I caught him so I followed protocol and walked in with him.

Really nice trails, and as Square Rooter put it, a nice combination of familiar trails. Perhaps we need qualifications for those who pick the walker route!

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25th July – CH3 – Shagless

Posted on July 25, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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A Shagless run from the flatlands in between the Hang Dong Road and the river. This is Skidmark land! Harebrief over, and we set off, with only CW and I making any early efforts. A V-check, and I went left, paper, paper, paper, nothing, nothing, nothing… I hunted around for a check back, but none to be seen – fortunately CW called ONON to the next check, and the checks were coming fast! I love it! Straight back into the mix as everyone was going wrong, but plenty of checks had everyone milling around together. At last I managed to string a sequence together and got a bit of a lead – the trail turned right and arrived at a “bridge”.

A bridge:-
noun
1.
a structure spanning and providing passage over a river, chasm, road, or the like.

I guess that is a fairly loose definition of a bridge… But does a thin piece of bamboo casually dropped across a raging river count as a structure? It certainly spanned the gap, but it didn’t provide passage for this hasher. I put a foot on it, and thought better of it. Ack. So frustrating! I could see a check on the other side, and I could also see paper in the distance to the left… But I couldn’t get over… The clock was ticking, and shortly CW arrived with Sloppy. They politely asked me to get out the way, and danced across the treacherous balance beam. Damnit!!! I tried to find another way… And when I say I tried to find another way, I mean it – It took me around 2.5km, but eventually I found another way across.

Sadly by that time, and by the time I found paper again, I was a long, long, long way behind. Not much later, there was another bridge, that just seemed to have a little too much balance requirement, so again I went back and found a safer crossing. I was sorely tempted to head home, but I also needed the exercise, so I carried on. Eventually I saw Tiptoe, Does Nothing and Bone Smoker ahead, and slowly reeled them in as we crossed the rice fields, but when we hit the road they ignored it and turned left to short cut their way back. It was tempting, but I turned right and pushed myself over more dodgy bridges, and finally made it back to the circle some time after the majority. Good run, if you like that kind of “bridge”!

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4th July – CH3 – Team USA

Posted on July 4, 2016 by admin| Leave a comment
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Kwazi, Frozen & Rooter teamed up for a USA themed run. How many hares does it take to fuck up a run? 5 o’clock came, and went… Apparently we were waiting for Sloppy Rod… Finally we climbed aboard the songthaew and set off to the B. It was a B->A. I am in favour of runs that aren’t just circles, but I much prefer an A->B, than a B->A… The logistics are the same either way – transport is either needed at the start, or at the end, but with A->B, we don’t know where we are trying to get to which makes the checks much harder. The thought of an A->B was too much for Horny Monkey, Does Nothing and Sunspot, who chose to walk along the dam for a bit. The rest of us finally got started on the run around 5:30. Thankfully it is getting dark late (I should remember that next week!)

It kicked off with some temple steps, but only around 100. And then a virtual check at the top. Sloppy went right, back down the hill, Lollipop (long time returner) went left, and I carried on straight up the hill. Not far along I spotted a bright orange rimping plastic bag dangling from a tree in front of me. Nice I thought… I jogged up, and this was the unique aspect of the run. Rather than calling On-On, we were to set fire to some fire crackers. I pulled the bag down, and inspected the contents. I have never set fire to fire crackers before, and had no idea what bit I should set fire to. Frankly I avoid town during Loi Kratong, at least in part because it scares me. I gingerly set fire to the paper, but it didn’t seem to have any effect. I was trying to get into the spirit, so called HRA over to help – he didn’t really know what to do either. CW was approaching, but just before he got there HRA figured out we needed to set fire to the string. Bang bang bang bang – we were off, UP UP UP UP!

We pressed on, steep up a hill that I’d scouted a couple of weeks ago, and decided against using. These hares were pushing on to the top. That much was clear to me, but we did run out of paper and struggled for a while to find trail again. Very hard to follow the odd bit of paper buried in bushes when we are scrambling through the brush. Not to worry, I got to the top, and a trail – off to the left a circle, so I was going right, and sure enough another bright orange bag! Many of the checks were visible a long way off, but the fire crackers did make a fun difference. I got the hang of lighting them, and collected lighters as I nailed a few checks – seriously I was thinking of setting something similar next Monday, but will go to Doi Saket instead.

Another check, and a nice little trail that cut down to the right, and then we were on the main trail. A long, long stretch without checks. :( I pushed as hard as I could, but CW & Piggy closed me down. As they swept past I struggled to get my pacing back together. I expected us to drop down into the valley to run it out, but instead the hares kept us on top of the ridgeline, and surprised me with the final descent – I will remember that one for sure!

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