Tag Archives: Chuck Wao

30th March – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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The pollution puts some of us off, so Itchy chose to pick a run site about 20 metres from a fire… We all considered peeing on it, but even before we set off running the lungs were clouded with smoke.

It was an interesting run site – almost missable, except for 3 large “A” signs on the ground. We knew the area, as we’d run past it before, but I don’t recall a runsite there. A brief harebrief and we set off between two lakes. Quite a way to the first circle, and Brown Finger generously let me check the correct way. Another circle and I was heading up the hill… Brownie of course caught me (following me at an obvious check), and we ran into a circle on the ridge together. My bet was the trail down to the right, but I didn’t have enough confidence, so chose the higher ground up the hill. Brownie chose another hill, and when we came back Chuckie was calling the trail I originally wanted.

Down the hill and a random circle check on the trail guarded with barbed wire. Where to go? We carried on and found a gap in the fence. Brownie spotted powder down below, so we opted to throw ourselves off and work our way down. When we got there we called, and the pack came following, not having found a better route by then. Brownie, Chuckie and I were ahead and confidently checked the same way at the next circle. We were wrong, but what made it worse was when we were wrong a second time, and Graven came steaming through to take the lead.

It seems we cut off a couple of km and ended up near the A site sooner than expected. Nobody was overly concerned, it was freaking hot and we were glad to finish when we did. Great trail Itchy!

29th March – CSH3 – Cumalot

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Cumalot teamed up with Knockout for a run in the Mae Sa valley. It was a familiar location, but it’s been a while since we’ve been there… Last time I recall there being just me, Chuckie and Mr. Poo running the trail set by the same hares. Hopefully they would set the same again and we could have an advantage?

It seems Turkish was the one to get an advantage – he arrived hours early with Square Rooter to start checking some trail out and getting the first few checks sorted. His big mistake was to tell me and so we set off with some checks already loaded. It was a bit tricky though – not entirely comfortable with the area, and memory failing, they switched it up a bit at the start and it was a while before we were on a familiar trail up the elephant shit route.

A bit of a breakaway with Chuckie leading, Brownie, Piggy, Gravy and I taking the route over the hill tops and back down. The memories were there, I knew where we were headed. A V check had everyone confused, with check backs in both ways – and the way I went there were 2 check backs!! Now that is enthusiastic haring! Fortunately I disregarded both and found myself on trail on the road while the rest were confused by all the check backs. I think I went the way the hares had hoped to go, but took my time waiting for Chuckie and Gravy to catch up so we could run in together.

A nice trail, very well marked, fun in an area we haven’t done for a while.

17th March – CH3 – Horny Monkey

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Horny had us back at his current favourite run area behind the Green Valley golf course. A slightly different runsite, but entrapped by the river & the golf course, we were sure to be hitting the same trails sooner or later. Apparently he found the runsite when he got a flat tyre and got lost. Anyway with Dogshit to help him, he took us out towards some rice fields. After a quick loop around we were quickly grumbling about damaging the crops.

The hares were waiting for us, to insist that we should run more through the fields and cause more damage to the already poor farmers. Gingerly we made our way along to find that the reason for the rice field was to avoid 100m or so of road. When we did hit the road, it became a feature with plenty more road to come. At a circle check I was wrong heading to the left, and when I rejoined the pack checking in a field, it was None of Your Business that suddenly sprinted off and then started calling 20m or so later. His gleeful gait was short lived though as he got the next check 180 degrees wrong, and we didn’t see him again.

We got to the same area that Horny set his last 2 runs, and as I caught Skiddy we both ducked off to the left leaving Graven, Brownie and Chuckie to collect the Skiddy sticks. A bit more of a loop around and we were heading back towards the road, and towards the A site. Sure enough, Horny loved the road so much, that he let us run on it twice! A Long Long Long stretch on the road had Chuckie & Gravy resort to walking.

16th March – CH4 – Chuck Wao

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Finally a Chuckie run on a Sunday – again it was described as ‘serviceable’. We were just north of the 700 year stadium at a moobaan favoured by Horny Monkey – familiar trails, but perhaps a different take on it?

I set off with Brownie, and were back along the road I’d just driven in along the canal. Strange – I’m pretty sure this doesn’t go anywhere, and no sooner had I figured it out, as we ran straight into a back check. Not the best of starts – we turned and followed Humperdick along the road that takes us towards the hills – even though we were close to the hills, we couldn’t exactly see them because of the pollution.

The trail headed off to the left – Horny Monkey and I eyed the trail briefly before deciding it would be a dead end, carrying on to find true trail moments before Humperdick found the false one. A few circle checks had us tied up in knots around the lake behind the stadium, and then we were on some nice trails. Construction work is tearing up part of the hillside, so it was a little unfamiliar. We scrambled down a steep drop, only to have to climb up the otherside. After a circle check there was more climbing, with None of Your Business scampering ahead. When a nice looking path headed off to the right, I yet again dodged a false trail, and in no time we were down onto the trail that runs along the bottom of the hill.

Everybody guessed to the right, to head back to home, but it just felt a little too soon, so on my own I checked along to the left. With no calls from behind me, I checked harder, and I was on! The trail headed up to a waterfall – definitely not going to be that way at this point – another false trail dodged. We knew we had to head into the rice fields, and I was lucky to get the right route in. Across the fields to the moobaan, and the hare had found a neat way of bypassing it, taking us back out onto the canal road to come in.

While the run had started precisely on time, and the FRB (me) was in in almost exactly 45 minutes, the circle was someone on the tardy side getting started, so the hash cash feared we’d go bankrupt.

15th March – CSH3 – Brown Finger

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Brown Finger teamed up with Chuck Wooooo at the last minute to put together a “serviceable” run. A familiar run site, with familiar trails around in Ob Kham – where the Happy Hash 400th run was.

We were set off down the hill and after getting a couple of checks right to begin with, things went down hill and I got caught up behind a large pack scrambling up a steep cliff. Up one, down one, up another and we headed up towards the ridgeline. Turkish led the way on a familiar trail – only we couldn’t hear him – as usual. He’d got himself whistle, but probably didn’t have enough puff to blow it. Sloppy Rod, myself and Graven Image were on the chase, and finally we pulled him back and had a chuckle as he hit an obvious false trail.

From then on it was the 3 of us working as a team out in front. The trail was quite fun catching us out from time to time as it was marked in leaf coloured paper strips. We were nearly back, but it was too soon, so we cut off to the right and the trail was suddenly on fire. Some hashers turned back, but most leapt through the flames and followed what was left of the trail the other side. Shortly later it was time for another fire jump and we were back on the unburnt side.

We could smell the finish, and as Sloppy Rod checked wrong at the last check, Nam Ron finally caught us and joined us for the On-In.

9th March – CH4 – Graven Image & Brown Finger

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Graven decided to set a live hare run, and to decrease the chance of being caught he signed up Brown Finger as a co-hare. He also brought in Pig Shit as a co-co-hare, although the latter denied any knowledge of the route and would run with the pack. It turned out later that the hares also seemed to have no knowledge of the route and got themselves lost.

Brown Finger had already disappeared, but after 5 minutes headstart we set off after Graven. At the end of the road, I turned left, and went about 150m before finding the trail – sneaky hares! The trail abruptly turned left towards where I knew there was a lake – it was suspicious, but I figured I’d play the game and duly went to collect the spare paper at the False Trail.

Clearly the hares can’t read Thai, as they took us straight through a gate that stated ห้ามเข้า. No choice but to carry on. Into the woods, there was a circle check in the middle of nowhere, only trees, no trail, but from memory I knew there was a wider trail straight ahead, so I ploughed on through a bit more than the 100m. When I got to the trail, I checked down to the left, and then as hashers were calling I went back up to the right, and sure enough the paper emerged from the trees and headed on up the hill.

A single trail heading up, with occasional circle checks off to the side – each just returning to the main trail up up up up. And at the top was the “BN”. I was on my own, nobody around – would I get to drink all the beer? First I had to find the beer – and just past the BN was a circle check… Huh? Where was the beer? Oh, there was a somewhat obvious bag right next to the BN and in it the Tiger juice. I had some time to wait for the rest, so I figured out where the circle check was going back to, and kept yelling for them to follow me up the hill.

Finally Poo showed up. When Square Rooter got there, he ignored the beer, and headed off in the wrong direction – let them go! Back again, and we headed down the hill on a different trail. When we got to the road at the bottom, a circle check had been replaced with a Wimp Rambo split – no mention of that in the hare brief! The Rambo took us back to the ห้ามเข้า gate, where the hares had put even more paper over the poor family’s yard. A bit further on, and a circle check was suspiciously next to a ant infested log bridge, that I straddled my way over with Poo following, only for trail to be found in a different direction. We were back in the forest on the old trail, and as Chuckie led the pack back up the hill, I thought better of it, and finally None of Your Business found arrows and trail back through the trees again. He took off like a whippet, and we were soon back to the Wimp Rambo split – only this time it was just an arrow heading up back in. Confused? We all were! Especially the co-co-hare Pig Shit who led Dead Virgin all the way back up the hill and finally limped in in the dark.

It seems the hares had screwed up from the start and spent all the time trying to fix their mistakes. None of Your Business celebrated at the On-In his victory!

30th November – CSH3 – Wooly Jumper

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Wooly was the hare behind Wat Umong, so I dashed back from work for it… Then I found out Foxy was the co-hare, and immediately questioned my decision! My memory was of a 3 mountain gruelling run Foxy had set not so long back here – surely Wooly wouldn’t be so mean? Chucky and I power walked up the hill to the first check – which of course I got wrong! We were heading straight to the main Wat Umong hill, and the nature trail. The hares amusingly caught CW following trail on the side of a ridge while everyone else passed by on the perfectly good trail just below him. Then they caught Poo out by deviating from the obvious path for about 100m. Somehow I was back at the front!

It was up the usual trail (which poo had used in reverse on the previous Monday). The checks were quite predictable, which let the FRBs breeze away from the pack and there were 4 of us left when we got back down the other side of the waterfall. A bit of checking and we were back within 3km, and within 30 minutes running! Nice kind hares, letting us have it easy with many out of town!

24th November – CH4 – Baldrick

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Baldrick as a hare – I’ve not done one of his runs before, but I was assured he knew what he was doing by Skid Mark at the hash pub the night before – strangely Skid Mark wasn’t there…

A rambled hare brief set us off with the promise of around 3-4km ahead. We took off running with Brown Finger and I setting a blistering early pace on the tarmac. We may as well right? It’s a short run, and we’re on flat road! Oops! It turns out the hare had his poker face on, or in other words, was full of shit! 3 or 4km turned out to be 3+4=7km for those lucky enough to find a short trail, and 9.5km for those who found a different trail.

The paper was sparse with an environmentally friendly hare cautious about putting more than 1 stamp sized piece of paper per 500m or so. A lot of guess work was involved. Rather than heading into the usual valley, we turned right, so that we could stay on the road – perhaps the hare was a bit scared of leaving the roads? A short climb up the stairs past a temple took us to the point of confusion. Being that deep into the run, we all wanted to head back towards home, and it was only Brown Finger who reluctantly checked left. You could hear the joy in his voice when he called us On! By then we were already making our way along the wrong side of the canal, so carried along. When I found a circle check I headed out into a construction site, finding occasional papers, and calling confidently enough to bring Chuck Wao and Dead Virgin along with me. Eventually we gave up on trail – it was too patchy, so we cut through a rice field to the road. When we hit the road we found Brown Finger and Graven Image, and trail!!!!

A bit of a climb over another ridge, past another temple, and back down… At least I saw the On-In, and finally I could hit the beers. Eventually everyone else trailed in covered in mud from their own stories. The circle was slow starting, but turned into an absolute classic. Dead Virgin and I took longer to recover from the pain of laughing so hard than it took recovering from the terrible run!

4th August – CH4 – Human Excrement

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Why does Human Excrement hate us so much??? Perhaps I should ask Klaus Barber to do a write up – I’m sure he really loved today’s run – not! 😉

Last time I was at that runsite, Human Ex was being trained by Skiddy, and they decided not to go to the top of the hill – today, without Skiddy holding him back, Human Ex showed his Square Rooter style… – see a hill, and find a way to get up it.

We set off and things were ok. With some hairy visitors, the pack was strong. We ran through a couple of checks, and a couple of places there could have been checks, before we entered the valley. I checked to the left at that circle, as I really didn’t want to go into the valley… Sadly, the trail led us into the valley – with home advantage, I knew there was no way out without going up, and Beautiful Box and I contemplated finding a short cut when the trail headed up concrete stairs.

Somehow I got to the front at the top of the hill but when the downhill started it was trouble… The hare had found a trail up the hill, but not really bothered to find a way back down. It was a vertical descent that had the pack scattered. The likes of Chuckie stormed by, and Able Seaman leapt off the mountain. For those of us carrying injuries it wasn’t so easy going – and poor Klaus Barber some way behind had real troubles with Frozen Dick. Fortunately we survived, and had time to send the hare back to hare school! He scouted it 5 times??? Seriously???

22nd July – CH3 – Turkish Delight

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I have very low expectations when I see Turkey’s name on the hareline, but being determined to get out there and do something, I set off as it was close to town. The area behind the new expo on canal road puts us somewhere between the boy scout camp and 700 year stadium… I’ve been curious what was back there, and was quite surprised to drive up to the runsite overlooking a large lake that I had no idea was there.

Turkish was beaming, but the sky was darkening, and Chuckie was looking concerned. Sure enough the rains started moments before Turkish was due to give his harebrief. And it was torrential… We were all very reluctant to set off, but there was no sign of it easing and Turkey had clearly put some efforts in. Chuckie ran to his bike to get his poncho and followed along behind us vainly trying to keep his feet dry – ha!

The rain kept coming, and in slippery conditions I found myself quickly at a point that I didn’t feel comfortable getting through with my dodgy ankle. Frozen Dick passed me his walking stick, and I got through! My vanity made me pass the stick right back! I’m young – I don’t need that! Until after about another 100m or so, Frozen Dick suggested I would be better off with the stick – and he was right… Getting through the first km or so was tricky – we slipped and slided our way around the lake which had looked quite nice before, but was now just a mudbath that stank like a raw sewage overflow. I’m sure when Turkish had set off it would have been fine, but by now it was treacherous. Behind me CW kept dawdling along, chatting with Sups – they were clearly going to short cut at the first opportunity. I kept on going trying to stick with Dirty Pervert.

Thankfully we got away from the lake and headed into the hills, along some great trails that I knew must be there, but I didn’t recognise any of them. We cut through a barbed wire fence – did Turkey do that? Not sure what we were getting into (or out of?), but the trail was good. I was keeping up as Skid Mark and Humperdick did all the work up front. Each time they screwed up, I managed to get back to the front and I lost count of how many times Skiddy skiddied by. One particularly memorable check had the 2 FRBs charging down the hill, only for me to find trail back up the hill – I was astounded – sure Square Rooter had helped set this trail – there is no way that Turkish was capable of this??? Fortunately there was good camaraderie between a small field, and we worked together to find the way back, as I confess I was lost and disoriented.

A fun mellow circle was followed by the realisation that on a “Buddha Day” all the bars / restaurants are closed with no hope of more beer etc. A few of us ventured to Nong Flukes, and were greeted with the realisation, that while they couldn’t sell us alcohol, they had no objection to us bringing our own in! Fortunately I had a few leos in the car (as one does for emergencies like this!) so we ended up having a remarkably good OnOnOn! Again, I’m not sure when I will get to type this again, but ‘great job Turkish Delight’!