Tag Archives: Chuck Wao

7th October – CH4 – Dog Shit

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Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast)

A 6 hour drive at break neck speed got me back in time for the run – almost… I picked the boys up and got back around 15 minutes late… Never mind, I might catch up. My legs were painful though, so it was a struggle to get moving up and over the first little hill.

The trail was a little confusing, as I later found Dog Shit out there relaying part of it – he ran off to show me the correct route, and I set off in pursuit of distant calls. After a while I came to Tip Toe, who had returned from foreign parts.

The trickiest part of the pursuit was that the checks were squares of paper, that couldn’t be kicked out, and so I had to guess a bit on each of the checks. But soon enough I spied Plan, Square Rooter and Human Excrement. As we headed quickly back towards the cars, the rest were ahead somewhere, with Chuckie and Humps doing better on both the trail and the journey back – hats off to the outstationers who got back in time to support Doggie.

Sorry – no trail map today – I left the GPS on half way back across town.

6th October – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

It’s outstation time! Cool Balls had been warming up to this epic for weeks! First up it’s at Khun Yuam – about 20km north of Mae Sariang… 20km MY FUCKING ASS!!! Close to 100km along steep winding roads more like it. Once everyone had signed up he offered us half a dozen different ways to get there – the quickest of which was about 5 hours – short of hiring a helicopter of course!

Hashers straggled into the resort throughout the afternoon, weary from their rides / drives etc. We drank our way through Friday evening, with a restful day on Saturday, UNTIL 3pm when we gathered for the hash. I’d noticed Cool Balls and Redundant Semen slip away for around 4 hours in the morning, which was ominous… It was more ominous when Cool Balls appeared to lose the start of his run – emphasized as it took us 700m to find the first bits of paper.

Shortly after Chuckie and I split at the first V check – he was right, I was wrong. Where I say ‘first’ V check, actually it was the ONLY V check. And it seemed there were only 2 more circle checks to go as well – in 9.5km… YES 9.5km with 3 checks!

The trail led us down to a river, with a nice concrete bridge over it – apparently the only bridge the hares could find! I caught up with CW as he was turning back from a water crossing – I persuaded him otherwise and he joined the rest of the crazy hashers for a dip – not much that can be done on an A->B run! If you go back to the start, there’ll be nobody there…

We gamboled our way through some rice fields, with HRA and Anything somewhere up front. Chuckie vocalised his displeasure in typical style as we jogged on to a snake and leach infested corn field. A circle check had us all confused and 30 odd hashers dispersed through the field following what appeared to be trail, but which then trickled out. Finally Skiddy found the trail, the other side of the river, and we all dutifully waded through it. Lucky Skiddy had his camera to capture the moment. We then waded along the river to where the cars were waiting at a “B” stop.

After a beer, it was HRA that rustled up some hashers to go out on a 2nd leg – Humperdick showing fine form, with Unplugged, Snail Trail, Anything, Big Top, Cumalot, HRA, BmY, Skiddy braving the inevitable hill. Sure enough, he sent us back over the river (over a bridge this time), and straight to the foot of mount doom. There were no more checks, it was just a straight up climb. Probably one of the steepest hills Thailand has to offer, and every step sapped my energy to the point of collapse near the top. Fortunately, what goes up, must come down, and the downhill was a great running trail. I opened up, tracking Humpers, but only catching him when he screwed up at an invisible check – the cunning hares had again found a way to bring us back together, without using checks.

Through the rice fields and we were surely on our way home… I was so weary, I’d forgotten we were the wrong side of the river. Here it was narrower, faster, the current strong on my weary legs. Humps nearly fell too, so I stalled with HRA to pluck the ladies out as they surely got swept away – or rather, I stayed to watch HRA pluck the ladies out as none of us really had any energy left. Unplugged and Anything would have found a shorter route back to Chiang Mai had HRA not rescued them.

An epic 9.5km run. It had everything – water, ricefields, trail, climbing, descending through some truly spectacular countryside. If it wasn’t for the hash we would never experience it, so as the pain subsided, we appreciated the efforts of the hares more.

22nd September – CSH3 – Hollow Legs

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Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast)

Hollow Legs always gets in a panic when he’s the hare, desperate to make everything ‘perfect’, today’s addition was the carefully painted red sticks, and as the hare brief started, we discovered that if we see red sticks on the ground it could mean one of several things:-
* Skiddy Check
* Cross Check
* V Check
* Circle Check (indicated like a Cross Check)
* One of the above disguised due to someone kicking them
* A check that had already been kicked out, indicated “somehow”

This could be interesting. We were also told that it was tough, and the songthaew would pick up anyone unable to find their own way back…

OnOn and we were off on the usual trail towards the temple steps – but not today, after a km across the flat we hit the low hills and there was a fantastic skiddy check. It caught the whole pack out, even though we knew it was going to be a skiddy check. We eventually regrouped following Chuckie along a trail we’d hit before gently up the hill. Suddenly we veered to the right and were climbing steeply up a cliff face and from then it got worse. Straight Up Up Up with CW and HRA setting a pace the rest of us couldn’t match.

Along a ridge, up some more, and there were some spectacular views around. My son, Plan, overtook me – I couldn’t allow that and pushed on down to the beerstop. Phew. We had choices, we could go back the way we’d come (another 4km), we could take the Songthaew back, or we could find our own way back. So, we dispersed in several different directions, all the FRBs finding their own ways back with at least 4 different groups breaking up. We all got back (I think), but after an exhausting 7.7km, it took a while to recover. Certainly a different hash run.

16th September – CH4 – Mr. Poo

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Happy Hash Time, and for the 2nd time in 24 hours I was on my way to the Boy Scout Camp. Reluctantly. Not my favourite runsite, and I had recollections of Mr. Poo’s penchant for hills – at new year he made Square Rooter appear tame. What would we have in store? As I drove up the hill I spotted a couple of pink postits on a tree – hmmm… they generally appear out of place… After a gap of 100m (ish) there were some more… Interesting inside knowledge that only came into play briefly as it was right at the start of the run. Sure enough around the corner we started climbing, and that was the first time Chuck Wao went the wrong way.

Having got the first couple of checks right, I continued spotting Poo’s plan, and as we intercepted part of yesterday’s trail there was another check. Yesterday I futilely climbed the hill, today there was a beautiful glint of pink waiting for me on a bush – OnOn! The trail carried on up, and somewhere behind I could hear Chuck Wao’s progress as he slowly reeled me in. We were back to the weir – I remembered that from yesterday, but let CW carry on up the hill – sucker!

Down the other side of the waterfall and there was Itchy ready to scramble through the torrent to short cut. I jogged leisurely along yesterday’s route, and when I hit another circle, the option had to be the trail to the right we’d just passed, which Chuck Wao eagerly scampered along. As he called the next circle we could see the paper of the following circle just ahead – it’s one thing to be able to see paper from a check, but to be able to see the next check? WTF?

Perhaps CW was on a high from the day before, as he threw himself off the mountain down a steep path to check. He might have been right, it was the way yesterday, but I would fancy climbing back if it was wrong… – It was wrong, and I chuckled “Wow” as I got yet another check right, and yet another as we descended past the helipad. I was on fire – I picked every check, including the ones that took us backwards.

Interesting we could have 2 runs in the same place in 2 days. I liked todays.

2nd September – CH4 – Sleeps On It

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Familiar area at the Ag Centre and the hare had promised me a run around the bottom, so hopefully no hills. Hare brief done, we set off and I promptly checked 180 degrees wrong at the first check. Bend Over had brought the kids and they were already looking for opportunities to short cut. I tracked back through the throng after Chuckie and Skiddy and it was Chuckie that was dropped off at the 2nd check. Skiddy got caught at the 3rd where they’d dug up a previous trail and I led the way as we looped around towards the fields.

I was accused of short cutting, when a more accurate description would be enthusiastic checking. At the Ag. Center there are only so many ways to go, and so check hard enough in the right general direction and you’ll find paper. Sure enough I did. Although at one point it was quite a bit further along before I could loop around and rejoin the trail.

Chuckie was unstoppable as my legs grew weary and we finished a pleasant 6+km run by crossing the dam wall back to the A.

OnOn

28th July – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)

As time passes, there is a tendency to forget past haring mistakes, but as I traveled to the run site my mind was awash with fear. I encouraged fellow hashers to come along, lets hope they would and I was encouraged that Big Top had stepped up as co-hare – surely she could control him?

Turkish made his latest erection, and gradually the parking area filled with hashers – each discussing bad experiences they’d had on TD’s runs in the past – and each talking about different runs. Big Top was delegated to give the hare brief – where she explained about the Wimp / Rambo split, and without saying it directly, she encouraged us to take the Wimp option – turns out she meant to say “Don’t do the Rambo, it’s shit!”.

Nonetheless, we set off charging through fields (without permission), towards the base of the inevitable ascent. I screwed up the first circle and rejoined the FRBs at the 2nd circle, and started checking up the hill – sure enough a bit over 100m, I spotted some paper, and gave the customary “On! On!” – just at the same time the rest of the pack were directed by Turkish in the opposite direction – the hare himself being an FRB on his own run. What to do? I was joined by Alice, Frozen Dick and Unplugged for a discussion on the side of a rocky mountain. We divided with Unplugged and I scrambling up the trail in reverse. It wasn’t much fun – rocks, trees, wasps, boulders, stones, bees, spiders, shiggy, certainly no opportunity to run.

Eventually we ran into Chuck Wao and HRA, who suggested the other half of the rambo trail was probably even worse, and persuaded us to turn back and face the rocks, spiders, bees etc. again. Finally we emerged into a field and the last 500m or so was great. The beers started flowing. The wimps returned lauding what a nice run they’d had, while none of the FRBs had anything pleasant to say. The circle started, and finally Dog Shit returned, and then later Frozen Dick.

At least the food was good! 😀

7th August – CH4 – His Royal Anus

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HRA chose a run site he’d only run at before – but I guess he must have missed out on many of Kwazi’s runs that used the same area until we got shot at on the 4th July! Nonetheless we set off on familiar trails with Belly Dancer and I jogging off to the first check – tough luck BD, I was right and didn’t see BD again till the end.

Given the rain the up trail was slippery and kept most of us on our toes with Chuck Wao again slipping away and running through a couple of checks.  I finally caught him up when he was confused by two circle checks that were close together – I guess we missed a bit of the trail, but the rain was falling and we were still on trail.

CW, a guy called FootLong and I escaped from the pack and were doing well till we hit a circle as we rejoined a main trail. Foot Long took the obvious downhill trail to the left, CW was forced to head uphill to the right so I took a less obvious trail that kinda went straight. None of us found trail and we spent too much time hacking around before we realised Foot Long had screwed up and finally found the trail clearly marked going down the hill.

Chuck Wao and Foot Long were off, and I chased as best I could along the slippery down hill trail. It was a good run, and without the weather it could have been a great run! A run so great that Kwazi has set is for us several times already – give or take a corner or so. Mr. Poo was back for the circle and slowly warmed up. It was great to see a few extras show up – Beautiful Box brought a crew and Fish and Tits appeared to wait the run out in the car! Good Work HRA.

24th July – CH4 Run – Humperdick

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Today Humperdick set the run as his first solo virgin haring – and he has clearly picked a lot up during the time he’s been running as he set a great trail. It was well marked and had a good mix of trail running and shiggy scrambling! The turnout was better and the atmosphere was good and we set off – with plenty of flat ground around, the hare immediately took us up.

After screwing up the first check, His Royal Anus hit the front and successfully chose the right route at the next several checks leaving the rest of us scrambling to get back on terms. Finally we hit a random check back and HRA set off in completely the wrong direction – almost everyone was back together with HRA way behind. Chuck Wao took the lead as we went up the 2nd hill dragging Horny Monkey along behind him until they missed the paper and let Byte My Yahoo and HRA find the trail back down the hill. With HRA back in front he had the choice at the next couple of checks and was going well until Chuck Wao outfoxed him at the end.

Everyone came back to the circle fairly close together, except for Frozen Dick, who we could hear shouting in all directions until he finally came in (on trail). The circle was intimate as is often the case, with Chuck Wao taking on the role of acting, acting, acting Religious Advisor. Throbbing Ninja got plenty of attention – mostly due to her dog management skills. Humperdick had organised a nice cozy On-On at his girlfriend’s place topping of a pleasant evening out. Good work virgin hare!