Tag Archives: Chuck Wao

27th January – CH4 – Anything & Throbbing Ninja

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Anything & Throbbing Ninja teaming up to set the run…. Run that past me again? Throbbing Ninja has a historic reputation for welcoming a group of visitors from overseas by setting one of the biggest hill climbs in hash history (recently surpassed by the ball breaker, but epic nonetheless). Anything has set some good runs, but you can be sure they will always be a tough test. I was worried!

We set off onto the road and back on a familiar trail through the field. Angry Inch was on my heels, and immediately my calf started tightening up. I just hoped I’d run it off and it did seem to ease off, but my legs were definitely feeling the effects of Frozen’s run the day before.

The pack was kept together as we searched for paper with the hares laying trail on the left, and then the right, and then the left, and then hiding it in trees (so it wouldn’t get burnt?). The road took us up and we finally got to a check. Angry Inch must be obsessed with my ass, and he followed me around the corner as Chuckie spluttered. It was HRA tho that checked the other way and when I turned back at the check back, sure enough CW was also behind me!

The next opportunity took us up into the hills and most of the run was on the great trails up in the mountains. Our visitor from Florida couldn’t stop smiling – he’d loved it! As we came down the hill there was a breakaway of Mr Poo, Angry Inch and now named (Cheap) Hole Hunter being chased down by HRA, myself, Chuck Wao and Graven Image. There were some excellent places for checks, but no checks as we back and forth up and down at the edge of the hills. Finally we hit the trail at the bottom and it was home free. I slowed to a walk and was gradually passed by Skiddy, Unplugged, Human Ex, while Crazy Crack & None of Your Business were close behind. Actually a great run that was a little much for me, with my only criticism being not enough checks at certain points!

Back in time for the circle….. Yikes!

26th January – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

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Frozen Dick has a unique way of advertising his runs and one way or another… This time he chose “my” area past Doi Saket, and through various conversations over the week he’d mentioned “blue spirit houses” and a couple of other unique landmarks that gave me a damn good idea of the general route of the run – having set a bunch of runs there and previously scouting all the trails (and non-trails) around there, I was confident I knew all the permutations…

We set off with Angry Inch on my tail – literally – he followed me through the first couple of checks until I guessed one wrong – there were 2 main ways to get up onto the mountain, and the hare chose the other one. No matter, we headed back to the road and Angry Inch was lost soon at a check when he went through barbed wire to a trail to nowhere. Shortly further on the other trail into the mountain was on the right, but the trail continued down the road – hmmm… Go for it boys, I turned to Chuckie and we swiftly avoided a false trail and set off up to the hill.

There was a circle check and CW trusted me when I told him it was up the hill to a parallel trail – sure enough we got to powder, and then a circle. This time he didn’t trust me, and while I checked left, he went back to the right. I called “On” but didn’t see him again. I jogged along, simply enjoying running the trails that I’d set as a hare before, but never run. I found the hare’s knife, and spent the rest of the run with it open as I couldn’t figure out how to close it.

Around the ridge we came to the spirit house and down to the creek bed. The circle check there is ingenious – if you don’t know about the trail that runs just a bit further along the creek. Sadly for FD I knew where we were and the likes of Sloppy Rod, Graven Image, Skid Mark and Horny Monkey came straight along the creek following my calls – leaving an unbroken circle for CW to figure out.

The rest of us FRBs were onto the trail behind the mountain – a great running trail! Hard to set checks, as ‘straight’ is the obvious choice. With Sloppy and Graven around 100m behind they kicked out the checks each time I called them, until we reached the inevitable “skiddy sticks” hybrid check, complete with my own powder bottle! I could have set a new trail, but played the game and went back to mark the way over the ridge.

Another couple of checks were straight on with Sloppy snapping at my heels and Graven licking his chops. We hit the fence and though I’d been there a bunch of times I wasn’t sure – left and then right, or right and then left? Bugger… Sloppy slipped away to the left and I hooked up with Graven, Horny Monkey and Skid Mark for the final moments.

That’s my story of the run… It seems other people had many different stories behind me – Mr. Poo sloping off with Doesn’t Get It to make sure she does… Unplugged slipping away with Angry Inch to see if the extra angry inch is worth it… Big Top lagging behind with Redundant Semen to ??? who knows what they were up to, but it took a while for them to get back with FD needing to separate them.

25th November – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

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We all got word of Itchy Bitchy’s poor dead dog just before the CSH3 run on Saturday. CH4 committee members Mr. Poo and Byte My Yahoo pondered worrisomely throughout the night trying to decide the best course of action. Yahoo decided that he was up for the challenge of setting a non-scouted run in an area that he always gets lost in. When I pulled up to the A site, I was happy to see that he had returned alive and in post-shower bliss though slightly disappointed that he HAD remembered to bring his towel (unlike yesterday). That wasn’t the first bent over bum I’d be seeing that day, but it was perhaps the finest. 😉

With the Lanna Bush Fang and Bunny Pai outstations taking place over the weekend, we weren’t really sure who would be running. Fortunately, Anything, Unplugged and Frozen Dick had all made it back. We could all see where the paper trail began early on, and so Frozen Dick set off immediately without waiting to listen to the full hare brief – racing bastard! The first circle check was slightly confusing as no one was really sure who was supposed to do the checking. BmY had set the run, Chuck Wao had such a terrible hangover that he couldn’t even make it to the run and Mr. Poo was looking rather slow and haggard – possibly due to the unusual adventure of him staying at the Hash Pub past midnight. No, he didn’t turn into a pumpkin, just a tired old man more like his own age. :)

Having not scouted the run beforehand, it was clear that BmY was getting us as lost at his checks as he was when he was setting it. Hashers dispersed in all directions led mostly by FRB bunnies Anything, Beautiful Box, Crazy Crack, Can’t Stop Cumming and Cock Climber. Finally, we found the ‘On’ some couple hundred of meters away with Grumbledick pondering BmY’s ‘mistake’. Having done a similar scouting / setting at the same time run last week, I knew there were more of these kinds of checks to cum.

There were quite a few, in fact, in which some hashers waited for nearly 5 minutes (mostly bent over picking grass needles out of their shoes) at the check due to numerous hidden trails and everyone unsure of who was up ahead checking already. At one particular circle check Beautiful Box, followed by a deeply entranced Human Excrement, passed straight through a blatant False Trail AND Checkback bar – maybe they wanted to spend some time in the woods alone together? Luckily, I saw it and we all headed back to a call from Anything who then passed right through a V-check. Though I was fairly certain that she had gone the correct way, I checked to my right anyhow, closely followed by Mr. Poo, down what was of course the wrong trail – darn it – and then was off to try and catch up to Anything once again.

At another circle check, hashers trampled deep into the bush failing to think about the 360 degrees scenario. Though I’m not sure who found the ‘On’, it was Frozen Dick that bellowed out to bring back together hashers checking every which way but the right one. A very narrow barbed wire fence slowed everyone down except for Crazy Crack who leaped through with perfect precision. Frozen Dick had to be dragged underneath by about half a dozen hashers and was slightly peeved to discover from the hare later that there had been a more accessible gateway about 20 meters or so away. EVIL hare!

Frozen Dick’s GPS came in handy when he gave it a look at the last check before the main road. “That way!” he stated with certainty giving both of us the FRB advantage. But, someone was already in front of us and had kicked out the circle checks heading straight back to the A. I could see Mr. Poo and Crazy Crack up ahead jogging around each other in circles in what I presumed was a False Trail and so was happy to spot them just as I was passing a nice trail heading left. Humperdick was cutting across to meet me though failed to inform anyone of the False Trail making him a newly inducted member of the CUNT family.

As we headed up a slight incline to the On-In, I could hear Cock Climber and Can’t Stop Cumming behind me complaining of how slow they had been running all day. Perhaps a little too much Spider Peeing for both of them? We’re all still trying to figure out what that is exactly – definitely a splash to remember for next week! It was a fun run followed by a fun circle though slightly delayed due to the antics of Ravenous, Codpiece and Tip Toe! Some of us DID wonder how they would make it through that barbed wire – a moot point as they somehow ended up at the Canal Road!!! After the circle, we headed to the OnOnOn to celebrate Bar Bin Doll’s birthday!!!

On-On

Big Top

18th November – CH4 – Big Top

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EVIL was setting the run, and she’d done a web search to try and find a virgin runsite! The runsite was probably virgin – it looked like it had been dug out a few days before, and we proceeded to park up in a mud pit. Fortunately it wasn’t raining! I was pretty sure we’d run around the area fairly recently though!

The hare brief warned us about the potential of 200m circle checks (just to fuck with us), as well as false trails etc. I was trying to pay attention, but wasn’t the only one suffering from an EVIL induced hangover! 😉 Anyway, Humperdick and I set off running and the trail started with a circle. Only one obvious trail away from it, and I was calling OnOn at the road. We ducked into a resort, and a circle at the side of a lake. Clearly we had to go one side of the lake or the other, so I set off running – with potentially 200m to the first powder I got to the other side of the lake before I heard Chuckie calling from the road on the cliff above me. Darn it to buggery, I was screwed!

I cut through a resort that Bend Over and HRA have used as an A bucket before, and rejoined the trail behind Frozen Dick. I caught Human Excrement as he guarded a check – no effort to kick it out, just standing and guarding!

The trail headed up the hill, a nice trail that I’ve run down before – I prefer running down it! Semen Soars and Chuckie were enjoying themselves up front while Poo and I enjoyed ourselves behind Unplugged and Beautiful Box! There’s a great trail that cuts around the side of the mountain, and we could see SS ahead, so far ahead… After a circle check the hare gave great attention to avoiding the nice trail down, cutting steep down an orchard instead. CW didn’t like it, but he didn’t like me throwing myself off the side either, so we hit the rubber wall together. No chance either of us was going to check left – that’s about a 10km detour!!! The next False Trail caught out CW because he’s a good sport, and it let Poo join us at the last check.

The memory of the 200m circle checks had faded, and the pack regrouped as we didn’t want to go past 120… Finally CW found it and jogged on home. Very similar to a run that Bend Over and HRA have set in reverse, but there is a good reason – it’s a good run!

17th November – CSH3 – Superbitch

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Superbitch teamed up with Wooly Jumper for the run, and they were looking suitably haggard when we showed up – they were busy picking the grass seeds out of their trousers. An ominous sign. They told me roughly where to start, but with the paper starting around a few corners, we were lucky to find the out trail!

At the first check we passed one of the world’s most mangy dogs, and I was attacked by a few more as I missed where the trail left the road up into the hills. It was a scramble up the shiggy bank to a trail and HRA hit the front. I jogged along with Horny Monkey, Humperdick and Unplugged until we met HRA coming back from a false trail at a cross check. I got lucky at the next check and hit a few checks spot on, going well until HRA caught me at a circle check on the top of a hill.

The trails looked familiar, we were close to where Square Rooter and I set about a month back. HRA sprinted off past me to check to the left, and I reluctantly went to the right – this time I was lucky though, and found the trail through a field and into some more shiggy. It was slow going and I heard Chuckie behind asking how far ahead I was.

Now we were on the trails I knew and getting another circle right I sped ahead rounded a corner and there was the “ON IN”. I was a little confused as I didn’t think we were that close to the A, but we had already done 4.5km or so. I kept plugging away, and then got off paper. Chuckie caught up as I started thinking I’d screwed up, but after 500m or so, we found some paper.

CW was begging me to let him overtake after the On-In, and eventually I let him go. Semen Soars also went past. How far was this??? My GPS said about 2.2km from the On-In back to the beers… It seems the hares hadn’t scouted and had grossly misjudged where they were, and neglected to go back and move the On-In. Shame as that was probably the only downside to a nice run on some great trails!

3rd November – CSH3 – Bone Collector

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Along the canal road to the Bone Residence – having run here several times before, I guessed what to expect – visualising the run up “Bone Hur Hill” as usual. The first thing out of the ordinary was as we were sent out the back gate, rather than as usual along the drive and out the front gate. Interesting – Belly Dancer put in his usual charge, but I couldn’t let him have his moment of glory and charged away at the front with Crazy Crack and Nam Ron following behind.

After half a km or so we got to the first circle, and having the pick I chose right, with the idea of crossing the causeway just around the corner. After 50m I was surprised to see paper on the left as though it was coming around the corner. I was skeptical, but what the hell “ONON!”. Straight along the road, and another circle. Nobody wanted to check right as it would take you back to the house, but eventually Leon (later inappropriately named ‘Hand Some’???) called on on. And there was the On-In… Ooops, bit of a Fuck Up. Runners were tempted to go back in, but we managed to persuade enough people to go back only to find all the walkers heading in the right direction as directed by Bone Hur.

Confusion reigned as walkers were the FRBs, and they didn’t know how to deal with the checks. We hit the hill and it was Nutcracker that lead the way up. I got a check badly wrong and ended up trying to pass Burrito Butt on the narrow trail. The trail kept going up and up and up. Damn you hares!

I lost ground on Chuckie, Poo and Nam Ron as the hill took it’s toll on me. Finally we reached the top, and I could pass Big Top, Nutcracker and Joint Venture on the steep descent to the road. The road? We must be around 2km out at this point. Argh! Knowing where the OnIn was didn’t help and the few checks there were did nothing to bring the pack together. Oh well, it was a pleasant trail nonetheless.

OnOn

22nd October 2012 – Dog Shit and Skidmark

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Rating: 9.3/10 (3 votes cast)

It had been a big weekend of hashing.  The visitors from Hong Kong had enjoyed the sights of Chiang Mai on Friday night, along with some locals (though many of them ended up having to make their own plans).  Throbbing Ninja had tried to kill us all on Saturday, and there had been two great hashes on Sunday.  How could we crown this?  Apparently with a beautiful run from a beautiful resort with a swimming pool!

The first confusion on the run was a circle check in a river from which we found more trail and another circle.  One of the visitors asked if it was ‘trail on’ but International Hashing Rules expert Chack Wow didn’t know the term (apparently it means that you call ‘on on’ if you see paper).  However we couldn’t decide if we had got there ‘legitimately’ and wandered around aimlessly before one of the Hong Kong visitors found it back across the bridge we had just crossed.  Superman, who’d been standing there waiting, led the charge and we were off again.

There were an enormous number of checks (Skidmark had promised 15!) which kept the pack well together.  A length of trail along a stream meant: trail, water, trail, water in a way that kept Mr Poo and Chack Wow busy, until Mr Poo stumbled off up the wrong hill.   Around this point Hunperdick caught up and pointed out he couldn’t hear Turkish Delight calling, much as when he is actually at the run.

The visitors completely missed the Skiddy Sticks towards the end of the run and while checking some people may have gone through crops, which led a local farmer to fire his gun in the air and encourage some yellow-bellied hashers (Superman, Gready, Tiptoe, Frozen Dick) to take a different route in and miss the swimming pool.

Circle was great (congratulations to Belly) and Nutcracker was given his fantastic touring name ‘Finger up my ass’!  Success all round! :)

21st October – CH4 – Human Excrement

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Rating: 9.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Human Ex teamed up with Skid Mark for a run out on the new Sankampaeng road. I gingerly made my way out there, still trying to recover from the punishing that Throbbing Ninja gave yesterday, and then Big Top gave last night!

We set off, and immediately found a small girl who was proudly brandishing a handful of Human Ex strips that she’d found hanging on the trees… Bugger! We should be pleased that HE had set it in Human Ex Strips, rather than Human Ex… but it took us a while to get started – randomly finding the first circle.

I was off and feeling lucky – sure enough I breezed through the first couple of checks until we hit the canal. What to do? I had some space, so the key was to get across the canal as surely we’d be in the hills on the other side – I chose left, it turned out it was right, but I soon joined Semen Soars and Chuck Wao at the front. CW makes a habit of taking the dumb trails – I guess he likes the challenge of chasing? After that one check, the rest started falling into place.

We reached the first water crossing – a small leap for mankind – I admit to getting a food wet, but I was too busy goading CW who was not far behind. When I found we had to cross back over the same stream moments later, it was even more fun!

Along a canal, and there was a 2 circle combination that had us foxed for a while. With the canal blocking the hashers, I got lucky and headed out into the rice fields shouting “ONON”. The followers had some trouble picking up the trail – it wasn’t easy. I suspect they might have been following the call, and missed the fairly reasonable route I took following the paper. Either way I inched ahead and after a little “Skiddy Dance” over some bridges (which were all in place when I went through, but apparently Plan destroyed them), I got back to the rice paddies, only to see the rest of the pack in the distance behind me. Muahaha, it was all mine!

Until…. We’d been promised skiddy sticks, and skiddy stick I found… Semen Soars was at least in earshot when I set off along the trail, only to hopelessly get the final circle check wrong. It brought us back together, and although I spotted the paper first, we had to climb over a little hill to get home… Hills like that are CW’s playground, and sure enough he pressed on up and you couldn’t mistake the glee in his voice when he called OnIn!

An absolutely fantastic set – why can’t all hash runs be like that? The circle that followed broke and kept suitable protocols – who cares? It was a blast! And it continued to the OnOnOn – where we learned that Semen Soars shouldn’t be allowed to advise children!

OnOn

14th October – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

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Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast)

A BmY live hared always gets the blood pumping a bit faster and after reading Frozen Dick’s Facebook post about how a trail is a ‘work of art’ – I fully expected BmY to apply his vast intelligence into setting something pretty special.

However …. Evil Big Top conspired with Chuck Wao and Mr Poo to thwart his endeavours the night before by plying him with beer. Grease Gorilla too had been enlisted to further fill him with sambuca …. Fortunately I decided that a peaceful night before Anything came back from Phuket was a more sensible option than heading into town (no one saw me did they? 5555).

I got a bleary phone call at 12:35 Sunday lunchtime from BmY asking be to bring along a powder bottle – rats had devoured his bottles – and I asked if his co-hare was ready? There was earlier promise of Fish and Tits co-haring with BmY, but he forlornly said since she learnt of her role in the run – she had gone A.W.O.L.

So I headed off (yet again) to Doi Suckit and BmY’s favourite running territory and there was a nervous panic stricken BmY waiting – hummm – whats to become of this? BmY then proceeded to tell me about the dump trucks carrying away his run!! This did not look promising at all – I was even more perturbed when he told me where he had hidden the beer – did he seriously think I would get there first to find it!?

A good crowd of 28 turned up and a shaking BmY got on with the hare brief (well … a rather long brief) and after Skid Mark had been selected for precision time keeping – BmY was given a 5 minute head start.

Grease Gorilla had brought KY and was eager to run BmY down – Chuck Wao and Mr Poo looked like they’d just fallen out of bed. Humperdick along with Cant Stop Cumming, Cock Climber and her sexy sister (Clit Climber?) led the early charge.

On Out and as usual I got to the first check and proceeded to get it wrong … just … as Cant Stop Cumming just found the paper ahead of me … BmY had won the day at this check as all the FRB’s were totally off course and must have taken 2 or 3 minutes for them to regain the lead.

Through some modest shaggy and then round BmY’s scenic lakes – this was some great hashing – the checks kept the pack nicely together with me alternating between which was the better view – the trail, Knockout or Seman Soars daughter Lauren (Pussy Sores?).

On the look out for the BN (beer near) marking and BmY’s cryptic description of where to find it – after 2.3km there was the FRB huddle were supping into it. It turns out that 6 can’s was enough for everybody – more smart thinking BmY! I (stupidly) thought that this was half way and would help BmY out by bringing his mini-eske back – humm – not a smart move on my part!!

A little before we got to the main canal – a V-check totally screwed the FRB’s – it had been kicked out wrong as I arrived, perhaps it was Cant Stop Cumming who went the right way and called on – but by now BmY was no doubt back at the ‘B’(?) supping his 2nd beer.

At the canal the obligatory check left the temptation to head back down the road a tempting option – surely BmY would not have much more left in him? Wrong – the run became a bit more challenging – with a circle check hidden by a stream crossing catching us all out and bringing the pack together – Skid Mark or Dog Shit I think found the innocuous little trail off this.

Through some shiggy and then some road (hummm) … then into a buffalo field that forced us to slow down and finally the pack was dispersing. Glancing at the GPS as we finally reached the canal again – 6.66km!!

BmY claimed an 11 minute gap on FRB Chuck Wao – well done Sir – a great RUN despite the attempts to thwart you!!

An exhausted BmY handed the circle over to RA Mr Poo – who did a fine job entertaining the circle. (Lovely) Dog Shit’s new girlfriend (Nam Tarn) was awarded the female wings and Humperdick unjustly got the male wings for admiring Knockout’s butt!!

OnOnOn to the restaurant opposite the Airport in anticipation of picking up the Bunnies returning from Phuket. More inspired planning from BmY – Thanks for a fun day – (and I want my bottle back before your rats eat it!).

OnOn
BD

Scout:-
Set:-

13th October – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Mr. Poo chose Frozen Dick to co-hare with him, and that explains why the run was way out past Doi Saket, and not at Wat Umong or the Boy Scout Camp..! Anyway, we made our way out to the outstation, with Superman and Chilly Pussy missing the run start. Sups was duly punished for not getting the beer there on time, and Humps protested the lack of water. Turkish had already confused most of the drivers by stopping at the wrong A site, while Big Top, Geisha Gash and Shagless cruised way past the A bucket, presumably scouting future runs?

After such a shambolic start, we set off and I immediately got the first check wrong, but I caught back up with the FRBs as we approached a lake that I have some less than fond memories of. Jogging down away from the lake, I kicked a snake by mistake – ugh!!! At the cross check, Chuck Wao correctly guessed uphill and after coming back from the check back a largish group proceeded up the hill. They hares had done a good job with the checks, and there were some more tough ones to come – Skiddy found the paper after a great check that brought everyone back together before sending us down a tiny ‘trail’? We scrambled across a hill and as we emerged to a small trail the other end, we were completely disoriented.

Turkish got the pick of the check and cruised off the way we all wanted to go. We suspected him of silent running and followed after him – meanwhile, Sloppy Rod was the silent running c*nt who wanted to win like a racist bastard and refused to call again for the rest of the run. As Chuck Wao, myself and HRA pursued him fortunately he got his just deserts and was later punished on the ice.

The circle was fun, and then it was in to town to be punished by the evil Big Top!