Tag Archives: Can’t Stop Cumming

6th January – CH4 – Can’t Stop Cumming / Cock Climber

Posted on January 6, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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I got up around 7 this morning to finish setting the fucked up hangover run, promptly vomiting from sun sickness. With sleep deprivation and a long(ish) drive back from Mae Moh, I rated my chances of making the run as slim – HRA had written them off! After an afternoon nap, I felt slightly recharged and persuaded Unplugged that we should go along. I was looking forward to it, as I was curious what the two virgin hares would put on for us – I feared a testing challenge, but you never know…

Before the run they had invented some new checks – some kind of Menage a Trois check – which looked like a small cock. The hare brief was comprehensive, with details given about how far to important checks, and ominously the hares encouraging us to give up part way through and come back… UhOh…

We set off in the direction we were pointed, only to come back and go down a ramp to the quarry and back up the other side. My legs were already aching! We went through a number of checks, and also a number of former run sites – run sites that appeared to be closer to the run, although not as spectacular as the view across the quarries.

A circle check thwarted us for a while as nobody wanted to check down, away from the main path we’ve used so often before. It’s useful to know there is another trail there, but it looked like the hares might have hacked their way through a bit. Then we started the serious climbing. Poor Red Carpet – used to the flats of Denmark and now subjected to the hills of Chiang Mai. Angry Inch was running all over the place like a leprechaun on acid. As we climbed the virgins were tested, and I didn’t see them again till the circle.

We passed the “cock check” and faced the decision – go back and do that 2.5km again, or go on and hope the next 6 might be better! Down in the Ob Khan valley, hashers faced a choice and Chilly Pussy led a group off to her house for a “short cut” back. The rest of us ploughed on and having gone over the hills one way, we’d have to go back over them to get back to the beer. Surely the hares had found a nice pleasant trail? No! These virgin hares were beset on punishing us!!! We somehow got onto a Square Rooter run that I remembered taking us back over the hills, and there were 2 sets of paper. Steep up, steep down and I hit the wall… Time to make my way back.

Fortunately I stumbled on a great trail that led me back down to the road and back in to the beer – an hour and a half!!! When all the hashers (we think) made it back in the last moments of daylight, the circle started. With immense efficiency, complete with primer notes the GMs tagged in and out. Actually I don’t remember ever a virgin circle being run as well. If the run hadn’t come after such a long weekend, I would probably have appreciated the hare’s efforts even more!

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25th November – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on November 28, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

We all got word of Itchy Bitchy’s poor dead dog just before the CSH3 run on Saturday. CH4 committee members Mr. Poo and Byte My Yahoo pondered worrisomely throughout the night trying to decide the best course of action. Yahoo decided that he was up for the challenge of setting a non-scouted run in an area that he always gets lost in. When I pulled up to the A site, I was happy to see that he had returned alive and in post-shower bliss though slightly disappointed that he HAD remembered to bring his towel (unlike yesterday). That wasn’t the first bent over bum I’d be seeing that day, but it was perhaps the finest. 😉

With the Lanna Bush Fang and Bunny Pai outstations taking place over the weekend, we weren’t really sure who would be running. Fortunately, Anything, Unplugged and Frozen Dick had all made it back. We could all see where the paper trail began early on, and so Frozen Dick set off immediately without waiting to listen to the full hare brief – racing bastard! The first circle check was slightly confusing as no one was really sure who was supposed to do the checking. BmY had set the run, Chuck Wao had such a terrible hangover that he couldn’t even make it to the run and Mr. Poo was looking rather slow and haggard – possibly due to the unusual adventure of him staying at the Hash Pub past midnight. No, he didn’t turn into a pumpkin, just a tired old man more like his own age. :)

Having not scouted the run beforehand, it was clear that BmY was getting us as lost at his checks as he was when he was setting it. Hashers dispersed in all directions led mostly by FRB bunnies Anything, Beautiful Box, Crazy Crack, Can’t Stop Cumming and Cock Climber. Finally, we found the ‘On’ some couple hundred of meters away with Grumbledick pondering BmY’s ‘mistake’. Having done a similar scouting / setting at the same time run last week, I knew there were more of these kinds of checks to cum.

There were quite a few, in fact, in which some hashers waited for nearly 5 minutes (mostly bent over picking grass needles out of their shoes) at the check due to numerous hidden trails and everyone unsure of who was up ahead checking already. At one particular circle check Beautiful Box, followed by a deeply entranced Human Excrement, passed straight through a blatant False Trail AND Checkback bar – maybe they wanted to spend some time in the woods alone together? Luckily, I saw it and we all headed back to a call from Anything who then passed right through a V-check. Though I was fairly certain that she had gone the correct way, I checked to my right anyhow, closely followed by Mr. Poo, down what was of course the wrong trail – darn it – and then was off to try and catch up to Anything once again.

At another circle check, hashers trampled deep into the bush failing to think about the 360 degrees scenario. Though I’m not sure who found the ‘On’, it was Frozen Dick that bellowed out to bring back together hashers checking every which way but the right one. A very narrow barbed wire fence slowed everyone down except for Crazy Crack who leaped through with perfect precision. Frozen Dick had to be dragged underneath by about half a dozen hashers and was slightly peeved to discover from the hare later that there had been a more accessible gateway about 20 meters or so away. EVIL hare!

Frozen Dick’s GPS came in handy when he gave it a look at the last check before the main road. “That way!” he stated with certainty giving both of us the FRB advantage. But, someone was already in front of us and had kicked out the circle checks heading straight back to the A. I could see Mr. Poo and Crazy Crack up ahead jogging around each other in circles in what I presumed was a False Trail and so was happy to spot them just as I was passing a nice trail heading left. Humperdick was cutting across to meet me though failed to inform anyone of the False Trail making him a newly inducted member of the CUNT family.

As we headed up a slight incline to the On-In, I could hear Cock Climber and Can’t Stop Cumming behind me complaining of how slow they had been running all day. Perhaps a little too much Spider Peeing for both of them? We’re all still trying to figure out what that is exactly – definitely a splash to remember for next week! It was a fun run followed by a fun circle though slightly delayed due to the antics of Ravenous, Codpiece and Tip Toe! Some of us DID wonder how they would make it through that barbed wire – a moot point as they somehow ended up at the Canal Road!!! After the circle, we headed to the OnOnOn to celebrate Bar Bin Doll’s birthday!!!

On-On

Big Top

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11th November – CH4 – Belly Dancer

Posted on November 12, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

The 11th of the 11th of the 12th… Belly Dancer was in a good mood. After an early morning meet up to rescue a stranded Bangkok hasher, he set off to lay the trail with Anything. In the evening at 11 seconds after 11 minutes after 9pm, he was particularly happy – Belly being a big fan of palindromic time:- 21:11:11 11/11/12

But back to the run – what would he have in store…? Yellow paper and red paper? More confusion – this time if we got to a white cross check, it wasn’t really a white cross check, it was actually a Wimp/Rambo split. Conventionally in Chiang Mai we mark with a clear W/R, and cross checks mean the correct trail is one of 3 options. No wonder we need to pay attention to the hare brief!

We set off up the hill and pretty soon came across strips of white paper. At a circle check Skiddy found trail way down the hill to the left, while Can’t Stop Cumming was way down the hill to the right. Good efforts from her to get back with the pack. At the bottom of the steep bank we climbed back up the other side, back to where we would have got to if we’d have just carried on up the perfectly pleasant trail. WTF? Scrambling over the bank of the mountain there was actually another trail here – white strips of paper??? Who else would be so stupid as to set a trail here? Ah yes… Belly Dancer did…

Back on the ridge it was HRA leading the way and we descended to another almost invisible circle check, hiding in plain site at the edge of a field. Home advantage – I’d been here many times, so ran off to the road and found the infamous cross check / wimp rambo split. I ran off to the right with Poo, shouting for Junglicious to join us on the Rambo trail. Confusion reigned but eventually almost all the hashers followed me – Skid Mark being the exception. He had to check left, and ended up doing the wimp trail on his own. As we ran along Poo was asking ‘Are you sure this is a good idea? Belly Dancer? Rambo trail?’

I burst ahead to get the choice at the next check and left Poo to do the dummy check. Hah – it was a long way to paper there, but eventually I was on, and now it was a rerun of Just Cumming’s run from a month back. Nice – I enjoyed it back then, and breezed through a few checks again today – until we hit the blasted tarmac. No more checks, just miles of grueling tarmac. Foot Loose from Bangkok picked me off, and I started going backwards.

Finally back at the A. Better than many of BD’s runs, but not his best ever!

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28th October – Mr Poo & Knockout

Posted on October 29, 2012 by mrpoo| Leave a comment
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Rating: 7.7/10 (3 votes cast)

The Location – Mr Poo decided that having his run so close to the Bunny H3 might not be a good idea.  Did he think the males would sneak off to chase the Bunnies?  Or was he afraid that no one would come to his run at all?  The next plan was a run at CMU but building work there had blocked off the most fun trails.  Eventually he decided to set a run at the Fire Prevention Centre. Despite confusing the hell out of Belly Dancer with complicated directions like ‘out of town’ – quite a strong turn out appeared.

The Run – What a crappy run! – only Dog Shit’s 1.3km figure-8 run and of course Belly Dancer’s pointless and dangerous ramble over the mountains with no discernible trails were worse than this!  Even Throbbing Ninja’s recent attempt to kill off hashers by oxygen deprivation at high attitude was preferable to the run Mr Poo set! At best it was 3km – but hashers managed to waste 20 minutes on a slope infested with mosquitoes and bamboo spikes looking for trail. Frustrated with people calling on previously run trail Grease Gorilla intimidated people so much that even when Seaman Soars found the trail he was told that he was wrong.

Chack Wow was on the verge of making one of his ‘executive decisions’ and leading people back but eventually Jungle Chim (or possibly Square Router) insisted that he really was standing on som powder that we had not seen before and we actually continued with the run intended . Mr Poo did redeem himself (a little) by turning up with cold beer and co-hare Knockout at his favourite knocking spot – ooops I mean picnic table. Belly Dancer decided to give up on the rest of the run and  lead the ladies back in – ignoring the powder and voracious yapping dogs that the FRBs faced as they dutifully ran around the lake.

The Circle – an X-rated circle the likes of which I’ve never witnessed before – unmentionable!

Well done Mr Poo – crappy run, great beer and one of the best Happy Hash circles I’ve ever been too!

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14th October – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on October 15, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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A BmY live hared always gets the blood pumping a bit faster and after reading Frozen Dick’s Facebook post about how a trail is a ‘work of art’ – I fully expected BmY to apply his vast intelligence into setting something pretty special.

However …. Evil Big Top conspired with Chuck Wao and Mr Poo to thwart his endeavours the night before by plying him with beer. Grease Gorilla too had been enlisted to further fill him with sambuca …. Fortunately I decided that a peaceful night before Anything came back from Phuket was a more sensible option than heading into town (no one saw me did they? 5555).

I got a bleary phone call at 12:35 Sunday lunchtime from BmY asking be to bring along a powder bottle – rats had devoured his bottles – and I asked if his co-hare was ready? There was earlier promise of Fish and Tits co-haring with BmY, but he forlornly said since she learnt of her role in the run – she had gone A.W.O.L.

So I headed off (yet again) to Doi Suckit and BmY’s favourite running territory and there was a nervous panic stricken BmY waiting – hummm – whats to become of this? BmY then proceeded to tell me about the dump trucks carrying away his run!! This did not look promising at all – I was even more perturbed when he told me where he had hidden the beer – did he seriously think I would get there first to find it!?

A good crowd of 28 turned up and a shaking BmY got on with the hare brief (well … a rather long brief) and after Skid Mark had been selected for precision time keeping – BmY was given a 5 minute head start.

Grease Gorilla had brought KY and was eager to run BmY down – Chuck Wao and Mr Poo looked like they’d just fallen out of bed. Humperdick along with Cant Stop Cumming, Cock Climber and her sexy sister (Clit Climber?) led the early charge.

On Out and as usual I got to the first check and proceeded to get it wrong … just … as Cant Stop Cumming just found the paper ahead of me … BmY had won the day at this check as all the FRB’s were totally off course and must have taken 2 or 3 minutes for them to regain the lead.

Through some modest shaggy and then round BmY’s scenic lakes – this was some great hashing – the checks kept the pack nicely together with me alternating between which was the better view – the trail, Knockout or Seman Soars daughter Lauren (Pussy Sores?).

On the look out for the BN (beer near) marking and BmY’s cryptic description of where to find it – after 2.3km there was the FRB huddle were supping into it. It turns out that 6 can’s was enough for everybody – more smart thinking BmY! I (stupidly) thought that this was half way and would help BmY out by bringing his mini-eske back – humm – not a smart move on my part!!

A little before we got to the main canal – a V-check totally screwed the FRB’s – it had been kicked out wrong as I arrived, perhaps it was Cant Stop Cumming who went the right way and called on – but by now BmY was no doubt back at the ‘B’(?) supping his 2nd beer.

At the canal the obligatory check left the temptation to head back down the road a tempting option – surely BmY would not have much more left in him? Wrong – the run became a bit more challenging – with a circle check hidden by a stream crossing catching us all out and bringing the pack together – Skid Mark or Dog Shit I think found the innocuous little trail off this.

Through some shiggy and then some road (hummm) … then into a buffalo field that forced us to slow down and finally the pack was dispersing. Glancing at the GPS as we finally reached the canal again – 6.66km!!

BmY claimed an 11 minute gap on FRB Chuck Wao – well done Sir – a great RUN despite the attempts to thwart you!!

An exhausted BmY handed the circle over to RA Mr Poo – who did a fine job entertaining the circle. (Lovely) Dog Shit’s new girlfriend (Nam Tarn) was awarded the female wings and Humperdick unjustly got the male wings for admiring Knockout’s butt!!

OnOnOn to the restaurant opposite the Airport in anticipation of picking up the Bunnies returning from Phuket. More inspired planning from BmY – Thanks for a fun day – (and I want my bottle back before your rats eat it!).

OnOn
BD

Scout:-
Set:-

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25th August – CSH3 – I Got Gas

Posted on August 25, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 7.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Kids were super excited about swimming today, so we were early out to I got Gas’s pool, ready for the big hash / barbecue / pool party! I had high hopes, until I Got Gas confessed to Frozen Dick’s influence into the run, but anyway we’ll give it a go. Setting off over a concrete bridge, we were soon back on the road, and as is my custom, I set the early pace… Frozen Dick clearly wanted to screw me early with a long set of Skiddy Sticks… But sadly when we got there, the sticks were gone, and we spent a while ‘looking’ until Skiddy played CSI and discovered evidence of there formerly being sticks…

Wooly Jumper was for a short while the FRB, as the trail headed off towards the Tiger camp area. I jogged along with Chuckie, only to get badly screwed at the next check, and spend a long time chasing the pack to get back together. Up the hill – fortunately not too bad – and we ran into confusion at a check with some old paper hanging. Fortunately Turkey and I found the real paper and we headed off back down the hill.

The next set of skiddy sticks didn’t confuse me as I spotted the paper off trail to the left and then we were on familiar ground – through an old A site, a dip into the jungle until I found Doggie short cutting his was in from the road. Stan on his return ran smartly in along with Can’t Stop Cumming – who is always keen to overtake after the On-In.

The pool was an obvious draw after the run, and it took some effort to get the circle started. The highlight of the circle had to be Mr. Poo drinking from another man’s ‘not’ new shoes… Apart from that, I propose we follow the mantra “short circle is a good circle”, and change the circle format to -> 1) Open Circle 2) Splash Hares 3) Wings 4) Close Circle. Who’s with me??

My favourite part of hashing is the run, then only Chuck Wow grumbles into my ear… (Ok, so does Humperdick… and Graven…), but at least it’s limited to those who I can’t run away from!

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