Category Archives: CSH3 – Saturday

We were promised a full moon, so it would be a night run. I’m all for something different so drove for an hour or so to the southern end of canal road to see what they had in store for us. We were set off into the night, with most of us carrying torches – I carried 2, but some forgot and didn’t ask to borrow one! At the first check, Turkish and KO checked to the right, for what seemed like an eternity – it turned out neither had a torch with them.

I turned back slowly and walked for a while, getting used to the darkness, slowly overtaking the walkers. I started jogging, but it took a while to get back to the pack. There were some checks, but the hares were clearly being kind to the pack, making sure the trail was clearly marked for the darkness. Finally I approached a group of torches huddled together, and it appeared they were still checking. I’d just passed a small trail off to the right, so headed over to it, and suddenly I was at the front of the pack! I pushed myself into a steady jog, and got the next check right as well.

At the next there was utter confusion. It was called, but then Graven suggested we were just going back the way we’d come. It was dark, so none of us were really sure what was going on, particularly when paper ran out not long later. Perhaps we missed a check? Suddenly there were calls from everywhere, and everyone was convinced they were correctly on trail. I suspect that TMB & I were the only 2 that did it all, and strava suggests others cut a loop out.

For me, I was on my own again, believing I was just following TMB… I was expecting someone to catch me up sooner or later, but nobody appeared from behind. When I got to a check that was kicked out, I was really confused… Either TMB came back to kick it out for me, or… am I doing a 2nd lap of the trail? I tried to focus my brain, but it was dark, and I could have been on any trail. I trudged on, and was shocked to find all the pack already home when I got back.

Devious, particularly hiding the moon until the circle was nearly over!

I drove up to Chiang Dao for the weekend’s festivities beginning with Friday night. Good times to catch up with old friends, and make some new ones… The run itself was early – we set off in the back of pickups and songthaews at 2:30, with the sun beating down on us, as we were dropped in the middle of nowhere. This would be all new.

I don’t know how many hares it took to set this run, but Boom Boom Baby and Citrus Smeller were on fire for the first few checks – it wasn’t until later we discovered they had helped set that part of the run! I on the other hand was getting everything wrong. An interesting twist to the run was that (allegedly) there were secret eggs hidden close to some of the circle checks, which meant each time we got to a check, people started hunting right around the check, rather than checking properly. This confused the hell out of me, as I had forgotten the harebrief by then. Instead, I just couldn’t hear any “ON” calls because of the sound of rustling leaves…

I was doing a good job of getting everything wrong, and slowly overheating. Somehow I was still near the front, and finally got one right as we crossed an unlikely little stream much to the enjoyment of a local chicken farmer. I got a couple right in a row, and now being at the front, I had a look for eggs – no luck for me! CW got to a check just behind me, and he agreed left was the likely option – I went left, while he went straight. After 120m or so, I paused and turned around, but there were no other calls. I edged out to around 150m, but still nothing. When I looked back now, I saw Shagless coming in my direction. Aha! Inside information! I went another hundred, but still no paper. I asked an old lady sat chuckling by the side of the road, and she told me the paper was further on. After 300m or so from the circle, I finally found paper! Either someone had pulled paper down, or the hares had been too busy yacking!

The next couple of checks were straight on, but each time, it was closer to 200m than 100m… Another circle, so I checked a full 200m, finding nothing. When Shagless (co-co-lead-hare) called it from 300m in a completely different direction, I was half a k off the pace. I decided to gamble as the trail I was on appeared to be bending in the right direction anyway… Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, this time I lost. With the sun burning down on me, it took me some time to loop around, and by the time I found a check, it was kicked out and the pack long gone. I jogged and walked, and finally caught up with 4 lovely young ladies, who were also struggling with the heat. I was tempted to stay with them, but pressed on. Finally I heard voices ahead – with trail going to the right, there were clearly people calling straight on. I did the sensible thing and went straight, hooking up back with the front of the pack, joining them as we headed down a steep bank to the beerstop. I sat in the shade at the back of the songthaew, and the heat hit me… BAM!

I was struggling to focus on anything. By the time I was half way through my beer they were packing up the beerstop, and heading back. I opted to get the breeze on me sitting in the back of the pick up, so missed out on the epic Chuck Wao river crossing just before the end. Saturday night seemed a lot quieter than Friday had been, so most people made it out for the hangover amble.

All in all, a very successful outstation – great job hares!

Tasty teamed with Foxy and engineered a set up which relied on hashers not being halfminds. The harebrief detailed precise distances for a myriad of choices between 2.something and 10k. Clearly a lot of work had gone into setting it up! After 5 minutes of harebrief, I’m not sure I knew what was going on, but for sure it sounded like we should be following white paper on the longer run.

We set off back around the lake, and didn’t see anything until a blob of powder and then a circle in powder. I checked over the road and found a nice looking trail between a couple of quarries. Emmaroid was following and when we found some powder we were confused. Emmaroid picked some up and sniffed it like a DEA agent. Unconvinced we didn’t call for quite a while – he ran on another 100m or so to find some paper, so the pack were someway back, and confused, from the start. It didn’t take long for them to catch up though as the 2nd check must have been nearly 200m before powder. I’d checked the right way first, but gave up after 150m or so. When it was eventually called nobody was quite sure where we were supposed to go, but we grouped up heading along the side of a canal.

A split gave walkers the option of following pink paper, while for the runners it was also a check. One of the problems of doing Wimp/Rambos is that it takes out a check opportunity, but here the hares had creatively combined a split with a circle check. Most understood what was supposed to happen, but there were a few stood around confused. Next was the family of cows that really didn’t appreciate being tied up on a narrow path with a bunch of crazy colourful hashers running at them. They were terrifiedly spooked when I passed, so I hope the rest made it through.

Another check crossed the canal and Sloppy found trail over a concrete weir that needed good balance. Not having it I went around and rejoined the pack at the next check, which for some reason took us out into the rice paddies. I felt bad enough trampling on the poor farmers field, but worse when he came out to find out why the hell a crazy bunch of foreigners had suddenly decided to destroy his crop. Not good. I think Sloppy was conscientious enough to go back and all the way around to avoid causing more damage. Sticking a circle check in the middle of a rice field and expecting hashers to scatter everywhere?!

I was happy to finally be out of the ricefield, and we got to a circle where the run imploded. Nobody imagined we should go back into the ricefield and destroy more of it! Everybody was relieved to be out of the field and checked each way along the road – even running on road would be better! With everywhere being checked thoroughly (except back into the rice field), Graven and I spotted something white across another field closer to the hills and headed off to investigate. It was white, it was paper, but it wasn’t hash paper. We were a long way from the circle, but still nobody had called it. We headed along the trail to the right and spotted Turkish beelining across the field with intent, saying nothing. It was trademark Turkey silent running, so we headed to intercept getting to a circle 40m behind him as he called “CIRCLE CHECK!!!”.

It took some time to understand from Turkey that he hadn’t been on paper, he’d just seen the check from a long way away. And by the time we figured out we had got to the check from the wrong place, the pack was already headed our way. It didn’t take long to solve, so I found myself at the front running back along the bottom of the hill on a nice pleasant trail, unaware of how much of the trail we had skipped.

A couple of checks later I stumbled on the hares at a warm beer stop. Warm beer and a cross check. I managed to find 2 false trails, including one at the top of a nasty steep cliff climb. Ack, I should have just had a warm beer instead! I cut across and rejoined Graven when we got to yet another choice. We could do the wimp trail which by now was surely already kicked out, or we could stick with white paper and head on in to the cold beer. It didn’t take too much thinking!

My head is still trying to get its way around the complexities of the run, or perhaps it is just trying to recover from a night out with Belly Dancer..!

HRA and female mystery co-hare and chauffeur got busy in Nam Phrae to eek out a devious route from well known terrain and trails.
Two songthaos, the Sat local mob, a couple of visitors and numbers were rocking. We were on powder with small x papers where powder wasn’t suitable, and trail was clearly marked all the way around. That was good. Also good was seeing so many in their colourful BB 2018 t shirts. Even Sups bought the last XXL!
I was sure we’d take an early left as HRA had mentioned hills but no, he teased us and tormented us, and we took the second road in towards the doi and 333 shooting gallery behind the Grand Canyon.
Alice knows almost every step of these hills and forests but HRA put his run together in a unexpected and clever way, especially early on, thus the lead was ever changing and the pack well grouped. Early calls from Emme Royde and Cartoon didn’t pass muster so Sex Pistol nailed them later.
Heading up towards the hillside shelter, we abruptly went right at what seemed to be a dirty check and H took us down the ravine of hell, the ravine that fcuked over shortcutters Skidmark, Doggie and possibly Turkish in about 2011 when I set here. It was not passable then but has a way down now and a makeshift handrail and ramp going up. That’s progress! It also has a few pitfalls. Alice found one and Anyone called out Take care! after my fall. Helpful! Does Nothing went down here too and observers said it sounded like a giant wind bag being deflated.
Once in the hills, we took the left fork up and peeled around to the left in a wide loop heading home. I was going ok and keeping up. Knockout and Cameltoe ran hard up the steep bits. Browny, Tasty Poo, Cartoon and Pussy were all there and thereabouts. Chucky was back in new trainers and wasn’t his usual supercharged roo self. Coming out of the forest trail went right and messed up Emma Royde and others. A clever circle and unexpected cut through a coffee shop property put me third and took out FRBs who’d streamed down the hill. Frozen appeared like a UFO from nowhere striding out of some property. Tasty nailed the next as I followed her but I got the last couple dead on despite hating myself for having to check what I thought were obvious wrong ways as Tasty got to choose the likely way at the penultimate and I was running into a new barb wire fence at the last. But no, the hare had found a way to go through one fence and around the last. I pushed hard the last 800m and passed Sups, Superbitch and Cockatoo on the run in. HRA and Analvice looked fairly incredulous as I steamed home to garlands of glory and the crowd’s adulation. Well, a bottle of water, a can of Leo and a down down for being the ugliest care assistant for changing old men’s shirts.
Top set, good crowd, OnOnOn at Kwan’s Kitchen. Well played HRA.

It seems more hares have been realising how great the running is in Maejo – lets get away from the dull canal road and explore the north! Graven picked the runsite up by the lake, but was then trapped even further by the terrain and trying to avoid the trails of recent runs. The hare brief gave it away – if you want to avoid the hill wait behind, otherwise, off up the hill… I led the way, on a few bits of powder… With Angry Inch just behind, I powered on through with a few questions of are you on? We’d missed it but Graven had put a circle check right at the start of the run!!! WTF?! Graven? Of all people? The echoes of Graven’s haring lectures reverberated around my mind… Checks are to bring people back together, not split them up!

I continued up and of course was back on powder as we’d been told we were going up the hill. Another couple of checks and Brown Finger was following me close at each check – could you not even pretend to check somewhere else? The main trail at the top offers a 50/50 split, left or right, but there was no way Graven was going right. I went left and carried on tagging the early checks. Brownie caught up and breezed by, only to wait for help at the next check. Apparently he had inside information about where not to check… It was straight again, but finally I got the next one wrong. I picked straight along the nice running trail and when I was wrong, I looped around to the left, but by the time I rejoined trail, most of the pack had already past by silently – even solving a FT!

The descent for a while was rocky, and my knee was dodgy, so I lost a bit of ground, only then to meet up with some walkers. Damnit – 3 checks or so that were already kicked out, and the pace was quick. Graven ran along with us giving a running commentary of how well the run was going. It felt crowded – I love running these trails though, and the walkers were excellent at keeping to the side and letting us run past. Some months back I’d figured out a deceiving little loop, and for some reason I was convinced Graven would do the same… and I was wrong… and I was thirsty… We crossed the road, and Graven was there to give the option of a Walker route back to the beer, so I took it!

Foxy teamed up with Robin Banks at Huay Tung Thao. It’s been a while since we’ve run here as a hash, but my recent explorations have told me that some old trails have become overgrown, and many of the good old trails are just unusable – when I saw the directions, I hoped the hares had scouted before they’d decided where to set! I wasn’t the only one struggling to find the A-site due to poor signage.

An early harebrief and we were set off before some of the pack had found the A. The A-site wasn’t new, but with changes in the mud tracks, we got to it a different way – it was the familiar trail cutting down to the bottom of the ugly waterfall. A big arrow pointing left, and a vocal co-hare insisting that we should turn left! It was clearly going to be right – first up, the hares had posted on facebook their scouting pics, secondly the trail to the left once upon a time was nice, but today runs out into overgrowth. The other option was the waterfall, which frankly is a bad, bad, bad idea. A V check took us towards the waterfall, with the co-hare guarding anyone from doing the obvious turn to the right. I guess I’ll play the game for now, and climbed up the side of the waterfall for a bit, before obviously going back down and along the trail at the bottom of the hill. The check had done nothing to keep the pack together, it had just scattered us.

We headed directly towards the aqueducts (I just spent some time to teach Terrorbyte and 8-Bit that the spelling of aqueduct is with an e not the sensible a as in aquaduct – we agree it is BS). After a W/R split, we made our way along the tiny canal, and when the trail when over the aqueducts, each time I dived underneath and managed to overtake a couple of hashers. But it was overgrown, and narrow, and my legs were weary. When the trail headed left back up the hill it was clear they were either going to double back to the wimp rambo split, or head further along the lake before coming back along the road. At 3k+ in I didn’t fancy either, so cut back down to the lake and trundled along the lake back to the W/R split. I got there and found how the hares had changed the trail, not long before the pack came down off the hill.

I jogged over the dam with Scooby Do and Brown Finger chasing me down behind. At the other end of the dam, a circle check, already kicked out, but not towards the village – this was going towards the main HTT entrance. I opted for the shorter route through the village, and bizarrely even though I made it clear I was short cutting, the pack followed me – to the point that the GM picked up the paper that was correctly laid out of the circle and relaying it in the wrong direction. I can only imagine the confusion behind, which surely contributed to Sticky Wicket arriving close to dark. Meanwhile I was leading a growing collection of FRBs on a shortcut through a MooBaan. The only problem was they wanted to go faster than me (they had just caught me up going over the dam!). They wanted to go faster, but they weren’t 100% sure which was the shortest way back, so had to keep stopping to wait for shortcutting instructions! When we finally got close enough there was a break for the finish, but Brownie stayed around to chat as we dragged our way in to the finish.

Scooby teamed up with Do to set a very enjoyable and runnable trail from the dam side at SKP. The checks were clever enough to keep the pack well grouped throughout the run so Graven and Angry never got away.
I was feeling a bit tired so walked and jogged as we descended towards the water then up to the road and across into the forest. That first check took ages and the very last one messed us up. totally. Apparently it was the penultimate, but not for most of us.
A friendly little puppy ran all the way round with Obscene and our female visitor Sticky Sex Toy from HK honked most of the way around after a beer fed morning according to her Brit partner, the wondrously named Princess Cock Tosser. Lady herself blamed McD fries but it was a shame Dr Byte couldn’t have seen her in action.
That check. Well the pack looked everywhere, went back, went further, different hashers checked the same routes, confusion, frustration, irritation. Alice checked into an overgrown field with a narrow path but no paper – and kept yelling Checking! until hope evaporated but a big gap in a bar wire fence appeared and then the massive dam wall. By this time a stream of hashers were following him as the homing instinct proved irresistible.
Apparently a handful of the pack, Poo and ? actually found true trail and another check before appearing on the far end of the dam wall. Turkish just appeared. The Ottoman outlier reverting to type.
Lovely set, decent circle and even a couple of splashes for light fingered Libbers who praised KO but slaughtered Alice in Full Bahrain Black Hash regalia. Hasn’t anyone told him about cultural sensitivity?!

I’d describe Turkish’s harings as hit or miss – he sets some truly great runs, but then sometimes misses. Often the question isn’t whether he will fuck up, but just how bad the fuck up will be… It is hard to remember a fuck up this big!

A new area, way out past San Kampaeng, beautiful resort, pool. All set up for a good run, but no hare… Sloppy gave him a call, and he was still out setting trail – perhaps a bit panicked to finish in time? The songthaew just about made it, and then we were set off – in a different direction to where I had sniffed some paper, but never mind! We ran back to the entrance and found a circle check. My legs were slowly warming up, so I was just off the front, but hardly got to the circle when it was called to the left. I was suspicious, as the paper was too close, but ok… We followed paper along road, wondering why we were so far out of the city to run on road. We ran into a funeral party, which just added to the confusion, with paper randomly off to the left, and some stochastic music and people confusing the scene. Again the paper ran out, but ahead someone called a circle. It was pretty clear we were going backwards on trail.

I turned back, suggesting to people we were going backwards, but it was a confusing situation, so it isn’t surprising that only HRA trusted me. I got back to the first check, and checked further the way I had planned to check the first time, only to find Turkish looking frantically desperate. “Why is it kicked out the wrong way? – Go that way!” I bellowed and ONON, and behind me, HRA did the same, but by now we were a km or so from the funeral – a funeral which now had a bunch of lost hashers in bright clothes milling around.

Not much I could do, so I pressed on, going through a few checks with HRA close behind. I got a V check wrong, so joined up with HRA after he got a FT, and we discussed how we should work together as there were only 2 of us now. So… PROBLEM #1 – the In trail was too close to the first check (thats a hare noob mistake). Next we get to PROBLEM #2. HRA and I got to a circle check and decided HRA would go straight, and I would go right. After 100m, we both called “ONON” confidently as we both found paper. Luckily for me, mine was the right paper… Unluckily for HRA (and Sloppy Rod who was following us along with several others), the paper HRA found was from when Turkish was scouting on Monday – he had left paper leading off up to a reservoir. On that trail there were further checks, but it ended with a random circle at a reservoir. HRA and Sloppy spent a lot of time at that check, convinced they were on trail, but futilely hunting a dead trail – they made it back in near darkness, along with some others…

For me, I followed the paper… Around the end of a field, trying hard not to ruin the farmers crops. Past a rotting dead cat. When I came out of the field the trail went left, and I assumed it would loop around and meet HRA, and assumed he had short cut somehow. But, nope – it was a FT, and I was heading away from where I had heard him call. But the trail was well marked and easy to follow – some checks I got right, some not, but it was all good – I was doing the trail… alone…

Finally I saw Sheep Shagger and some visitors, and then Knock Out and Blows Herself, all going the wrong way – clearly resigned to doing the trail backwards. I reassured them the trail was clear and they could keep going – not realising that behind me the trail was now leading them up to the dead end circle check at the reservoir…

From here many of the checks had clues, from those coming the other way, so I jogged on. I realise everyone else was fucked up, but for now I was enjoying it – pleasant trails. I paid my third tribute to the funeral which by now must have been seriously confused as to what was going on.

Overall – it was a really nice set, BUT, there were 2 HUGE mistakes by the hare – and this hare is experienced enough to not make mistakes like that. Ultimately those 2 mistakes lead to a monumental fuck up! Epic Fly By

It’s been awhile since I’ve been hashing, but for various reasons I ended up headed down canal road with my 11 year old son “Terror Byte” to see what HRA had in store for us. The A site was up the road past the Sameong road football field. After a hare brief we were set off up the road… Not sure why we went up the road, rather than along the trail next to the road, but nevermind! We were promised powder, but for quite some way we didn’t get any – Terror Byte was up front flirting his youthful exuberance with Knock Out. Finally powder was spotted headed off to the right.

The first check was some distance into the run, but Terrorbyte was still leading, only to gamble wrong on a 50/50 chance. It was Brownie that called on from straight on. For the diligent reader there may be moments of “proud father” emerging from this write up. Yes, Brown Finger is back, and he isn’t “Round Finger”, he’s a lean mean running machine, prone to getting checks wrong, and before too long the universe was back in order. BF came back from a false trail, which had us befuddled for a while. TMB eagerly tested to the left, someone I didn’t know tested to the right – I mostly mingled and chatted.

I regretted that moments later after the call to the right, and I was stuck in a traffic jam as we ascended a creekbed steep up the hill. (The amnestic hare later had no recollection of the number of hills he forced us up). We climbed, we clambered, and when finally there was the call of circle check from the ridge, I broke off to the right and scrambled out of the traffic. Typically, the call was to the left, and I was back in a solid pack. The checks were working nicely and we were kept together as a big group.

We looped along the edge of the ridge line, and Graven took the lead. Another circle check, and with Graven checking straight TMB went down to the right. Silence from up ahead as Poo and someone else edged their way after Graven. Brownie and I pondered for a while before deciding Graven had surely gone far enough, and set off down the hill after TMB. She was coming back up, and finally the call from Poo – have I tuned out Graven’s calls? Did he call? Deep in our hearts we know the answer.

Finally the trail broke and we came down off the mountain, but I knew we were a long way from home. So far it actually reminded me of a utter fuck up that Klaus Barber set many years back, when he apologised for where he came out of the mountain. We were a long way from home! We had to turn a sharp right, and we did. But descending out of the forest, we came down a steep bank where we could see a circle check at the bottom – Turkish ahead went to the right (No way buddy!). Given the check visible, there was a large group that took our time navigating down the hill, discussing which way it might be. Most guessed left, but I had a hunch it would be straight on to the trail back up the hill. Damnit, how many hills would we have to climb???

Sure enough Cumalot called us on from straight on. And the a false trail. Meh. Of course we had to go back over the hill, but the hare wanted us to scramble up the shitty trail, rather than going up the perfectly good trail?? I’ve lost count of how many times trail has been set scrambling up there, when there is a perfectly good trail that cuts up to the ridge, and the perfectly good trail leaves options for decent checks at the top. There is no reason to scramble up the hill… – so I didn’t. I went up the decent trail, and met Brownie at the top as he was checking from the circle at the top. Of course it was back down to the left, and I rejoined the pack – which gained Leaky Faucet and Stumbling Dyke who appeared from completely the other side of the mountain – nice short cut guys!

Unfortunately the way down the hill wasn’t really headed in the right direction, and I knew that we would have to go back up again to get home – or maybe HRA had found a road option? At the bottom of the hill another circle that brought a lot of the pack together. Near the temple, there was much confusion with many of the FRBs headed towards the road. Those that did check correctly back up the hill didn’t call enough (MR. POO – from your GPS this means you!!!) so it was a while before the rest of the pack figured it out. The trail went back into the temple and back up the hill… I remember it clearly, because my 11 year old son Terror Byte was still in the pack – I checked my GPS, 4.5km in. The hare had promised 6k, so another 1.5k at least.

Yet another hill for sure… We went back up the same hill, only to turn around and come back down again, but still not quite in the right direction. Damn you hare! Another circle check had most of the hashers going left. I figured we had to go over another hill to get back, so hacked a trail out up the hill. I was with KO, and finally the call came from Blows Herself who had taken an alternative route. The hashers descended on the call. KO decided to follow me, rather than go back to the circle – she may have regretted it as we scrambled off trail back to the pack. From there we emerged and everyone knew where they were and the next 1km or so needed to get home… Or well most did…

I caught Turkish near the OnIn and we got back together not far off the front group. I grabbed a drink and showered off… Knowing my son wasn’t far behind. I went to stand at the corner, waiting for him to come up the road… It was starting to get dark. When I checked with HRA, he didn’t have a bike. Does Nothing and some other walkers came in, saying they hadn’t seen Terror Byte… I panicked… I headed back on trail screaming my sons name, wondering where the hell he was and what had happened to him. HRA stole a bike and came to help, whizzing past me saying that we haven’t ever lost anyone yet… – that wasn’t very reassuring… I must have gone a km or so back on trail – I found the bike HRA had stolen and left, and continued to hike after him. Complete indescribable fear running through me as I screamed his name. Words don’t exist to describe the emotions; fear, anger, terror… I just wanted to be at home with my sons.

It turns out Terror Byte had met up with Stumbling Dyke and Leaky Faucet on the trail. While their first short cut had been successful, their second wasn’t quite so… Terrorbyte had made the sensible decision to stay with the adults he knew (when they decided not to follow trail), and they decided to head to the road rather than head back into the hills as the light was fading. Sensible, rational decisions by almost everyone! Matty – sensibly stayed with people he knew. SD & LF sensibly decided to stick to the road when they had the option for a safe route back… Meanwhile Daddy Byte decided to run off backwards on trail wearing flip flops, without a flashlight, randomly screaming “Matty”. At least I took my phone, but didn’t answer it when Poo tried to call me…

For a hash run, the trail was great – challenging, some good checks kept the pack together for a long time. Perhaps given the hills, it may have been a little long – afterall a pickup brought in the walkers. Perhaps consider a beerstop next time?