Category Archives: CSH3 – Saturday

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash is a mixed hash which meets every Saturday.

27th Sept – CSH4 – Knock Out

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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

I got a phone call before getting to the runsite to say they’d run out of signs, so if I got there first I might want to put some signs up… – if only I knew where we were going! Way down the river, so far that Turkish & Chuckie got lost and gave up, while Rin, Stuart, Belly and Anything got lost and were late. Those of us that did make it to the start were ready for Skiddy’s farewell hash. Skiddy will be seriously missed from the Chiang Mai hash community – a complete hasher who does more than his share of setting, organising and making sure the hash works throughout the year. Lets hope todays run will be a fitting tribute to him!

A flat run, in the orchards – surely there would be some water crossings? Brownie and I set off at the start with him promising me that I could have first pick at the first check. It wasn’t really a surprise that the check was skiddy sticks, so gee thanks – I got them… It wasn’t a surprise, but ALL the checks were skiddy sticks… The checks worked really well, and we were zig zagging, criss crossing, all over the place trying to figure out the route. With trails all over the place, it was tempting to start looking for true trail before the sticks were found, but who knew when the false trail would be reached?

The trail was pretty similar to one we’d done before by KO, so some parts were a bit predictable, but the checks were so hard! A normal circle check gives us a radius of 100m in a circle – i.e. an area of 31415.93 square metres to search for paper – bloody hell that is a lot! However, if the trail can be 100m back along the trail and 100m of either side, we add a 20000 square metre area – i.e. Skiddy checks like this changed the search area from 31416 square metres to 51416 square metres – at times we might have had more luck finding MH370.

Running along we were often wondering if we’d missed a check, or missed some paper – a good mental exercise. The checks were keeping us well together, nobody getting any advantages. Finally we got to a check that really foxed us. With hindsight, we were searching too far back from the sticks. I went the most obvious way, and had gone 100m and back, but nobody had found paper. Humps asked if I’d really checked it, so I went back and went further. No calls, so I kept going, and finally got out on a road. Paper Everywhere!!! It was going left, right, straight, all over the place! BUT, it was clear that I hadn’t found the trail the way the hares intended…. Still no calls from the pack… I went back and forth along the road trying to figure out what we were supposed to be doing, or where the paper was supposed to have come from… Still no calls.. I could see Piggy on the other side of a field, so called over to ask for help with the mystery. He headed in my direction bringing much of the pack, as we all short cut around 3km off the full run.

Not far around the corner it was the OnIn… Excellent checks that did a great job of keeping the pack running around like confused lemmings. Confused lemmings that like jogging along hunched down to avoid the tree branches.

13th September – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Numbers were seriously depleted again, perhaps from the threat of rain, or perhaps because Turkey was the hare? Anyway, the group assembled for Turkey’s hare brief, before setting off on trail.

First check could have gone 4 different ways, but I was lucky picking the right way towards the inevitable hills. Another check, and I gambled through a gate into the orchard that I’d got stuck in a few weeks back on Frozen’s run. There was paper there, but it clearly wasn’t from this run. Although I spotted some white in the distance which was surely where the OnIn would be. Chuckie called from off to the left, and I hacked my way through, crawling under a barbed wire fence to get back on trail.

I was a long way behind, but finally caught up at another circle check. No sign of CW, so I assumed he’d broken clear, until Poo told me he’d short cut on old paper. There was a lot of old paper, from Itchy’s run, Frozen’s run and Taste My Buns’ run, so its an easy mistake to make. Taste My Buns led the way across rolling hills passing Frozen on a strategic short cut, and back out into the orchard. So soon? I checked into the jungle as surely we weren’t heading back yet?

The race was on as we came through the orchard with TMB checking one side of the lake, and me going the other side. I was right!@ Excellent, with Knockout and Poo following… huh? There was the racist TMB up ahead having gone the ‘wrong’ side of the lake! Some local knowledge had her gleefully calling OnIn, only to find CW already tucking into the beers when we got back. 30 mins, a very short loop, but still one that a lot of people ‘short cut’!

30th August – CSH3 – Pamela

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

A smallish turnout with many of the guys down in Pattaya, including the GM. At least it didn’t take too long to do the hash cash. We were fortunately swelled by visitors. Hare brief complete, we set off out of the gate of Pamela’s house and along the road. Belly Dancer typically sprinted off, but his UK vacation hampered his stamina, and he didn’t quite make it to the first check – some km or so into the run. I was immediately on the back foot, following Piggy and Struggles to Cum into the forest.

Along the gully, a few checks were straight on, until we started zig zagging – a short cutters delight which clearly wasn’t wasted on Belly who suddenly popped out of the trees in front of me. Finally we got out onto the mainish trail and I was following Adorable Blue Balls. At the next check, he went right, and had to be right, so I followed and sure enough we were on the nice trail that cuts fairly flat between the hills. Over to the road behind the night safari, but rather than using it, Pamela had taken us up the hill along much nicer trails. I was nailing checks, but inevitably my luck ran out, and got one wrong.

A lot of runners managed to pass me by, but when the trail came back out onto the road, I managed a little sneakiness – suggesting to Piggy he should turn left, when it could only be right. Back in the hunt and the pace quickened with a group of us heading back towards Pamelas. The mainer road – surely it wouldn’t be back on the out trail? It was, and I was thwarted at the end – but I managed to get back with it when Piggy mistook the OnIn for a false trail, and again when he chased off after Struggles who started going around again.

Anyway – a good run!

16th August – CSH3 – Potato Head

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Potato Head’s birthday run, but Daddy stepped up to put the leg work in. A vehicle scout on Thursday, and a scout/set on the hash day – Skiddy looked worse for wear and not excited when he got to the A bucket. He looked dejected – a sure sign things hadn’t gone the way he’d hoped…

We set off with Skiddy kitted out like a live hare – and from the hare brief, I was off looking for an “Imaginary Circle Check”. I did my best, but my imagination struggled – half a km into the run and I was still imagining paper! Fortunately Piggy found a trail and we set off. We scrambled through some shiggy, and fortunately I got a couple of checks right. Finally I got one wrong and caught up to the pack as they were confused. There was a circle check – Piggy called OnOn, but threw his voice so the pack followed close to where he’d been, and after a while we found a circle check – around the same time Piggy found another one just 100m to our left.

Which circle were we looking for? I headed right and found trail – but the trail was at a junction and heading in both directions… It looked like we should have got there from a different direction and run around the corner. Kinda confusing, but Cumalot followed my call… Another 100m or so and I found a check back… Hmmm What to do? No sign of anyone behind me – had I short cut? should I clear the check? I grabbed the paper and went back to the junction where trail was going both ways. As I started trying to make the trail Skiddy was calling to me off to the right.

Apparently I was wrong – I suspected as much, and was tempted to just carry on, but Skiddy insisted I went back and did the long extra loop. He told me “go to the next junction and turn right”. I suspected it was inside information to help me get back with the pack, so jogged off down the trail, while Cumalot called On On behind me. Was she calling me, or just calling? With a huge quarry to my right, I saw hashers the otherside disappearing… Was I short cutting? I wasn’t at the junction yet… When I finally got to the junction I turned right, and right again towards the hashers I’d seen… Finally I sign of trail and some paper!!! No hashers, no footprints, which way should I follow it?

I went left, and there was a set of skiddy sticks perfectly intact. Hmmm Had I short cut again? Was I ahead? Should I fix the check? I picked up 2 sticks and headed back towards where I thought the trail had come from, and there was Miss Piggy, walking along with Superbitch. They were probably as surprised as me – I don’t remember the last time I ran into them on trail!!!! I figured the trail out and slowly picked off hashers – Superman, Does Nothing, Geisha Gash (who didn’t short cut). Man I was way out of this thing!

I finally caught up with Anything, Banana Wiggler and Stephen as we got to the false trail that I’d already found. Humperdick was grumbling his way back from it, which gave some inspiration to running harder. Around the corner and there was powder letters all over the trail. “ON OUT” “ON IN” “OH FUCK” “OH DEAR” “OOPS” – I have no idea what it said, or which way we should go, but it was clear we were supposed to follow the first 2k or so back.

I got to the road with Humps and decided to go around to the left rather than just following the out trail back. Humps decided to do the same to the right, but unfortunately for him there weren’t trails to the right and he got his exercise back and forth on the tarmac.

26th July – CSH3 – Pigshit

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Pigshit picked another runsite in Maejo – heading towards the Tiger’s Head, but off into a soi on the left. A nice find – I’ve not run from there before, but I had a feeling we’d be crossing over trails that I have run before…

Hare brief over and we were off, and I was quick to get the first check wrong. Back on track and we were weaving left and right, back and forth. A short cutter’s delight! I wasn’t short cutting at that point, but spotted plenty of opportunities. Turkish on the other hand wasn’t going to let a good opportunity to short cut go to waste and promptly appeared ahead of Sloppy. Sloppy’s curses were as loud as his OnOn calls as we finally headed into familiar trails – Until halfway the hare had done a great job of finding some new little loops.

We headed over a little hill and got down to the square lake that I’ve used as an A site a few times. No check – interesting? But Turkey started calling circle check from along one side. Either he was going around the lake, or he was cutting back – I checked over the dam, and could see paper ahead at the other side of the lake. Excellent! But before I could get to it, Turkey was calling On On from the other side of the lake. I investigated the paper, and saw it cut down the side of the hill, and across a field back to the road. Again a short cutter’s paradise. I was ahead, but proceeded to get the next check very badly wrong, and was soon behind Cougar and Crap Thai. Who knows who managed to NOT short cut? Nice run though!

19th July – CSH3 – HRA Outstation

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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

HRA and Cumalot teamed up to organise an outstation in Pai, so after 2.5-3 hours drive, I pulled into the resort, just in time to check in and collect hash cash. Hare brief done, we were off on out with Tasty Buns & Romy up front. First check had me going up a hill that wasn’t necessary, and it was a bit of a scramble to cut across back to the pack. The hares took us towards a temple, and teased us with a climb up the hill, before cutting left back down to the flats.

We followed a creek for a while, and only the diligence of Chuckie could keep his feet dry while the rest of us paddled regularly. I was getting quite a few checks right, including the pink false trails. Finally I got a check badly wrong, and it took a while for me to get back in earshot. Turns out had I just continued a few more yards I would have found paper again, but not to worry.

Finally we got to the novel “N/SR” split. Despite the hare brief, we were all wondering if SR was “Short Run”, turned out it was “Super Rambo”! The extra loop consisted of an extra 2km with 2 treacherous river crossings. I spent too long debating the split, and couldn’t catch up again as Piggy ran ahead with the German ladies.

Skiddy ran the circle for the absent GM and it went well with some good highs to see us off to our buffet dinner. The resort clearly hadn’t been visited by hashers before as we proceeded to drink them out of Heineken and then Leo. Finally personal stashes located and devoured we hit the sack.

Next morning, Chuckie treated us to a hangover run – which largely consisted of reusing HRA’s 800m OnIn. The kids loved it, and Willy Walls is becoming a bit of a Racist Bastard – as I ran into the resort, I glanced over my shoulder and eased up as I was homefree, only for WW to sprint past me. 8 Bit led the rest of the kids in.

12th July – CSH3 – Push Back

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Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Push Back & Tasty Buns joined together to set their virgin harings and after 2 weeks in UK I was missing the hash and looking forward to a good one! Unfortunately, Chuckie side tracked me with “Coffee” last night, and when jetlag kicked in, I nearly overslept and missed it! Fortunately, I made it out to 11km or so down canal road to see what they had in mind…

A teutonically detailed harebrief set us off with Humps guffawing while Turkey went the wrong way out of the carpark. The first check had us guessing, and everyone guessing wrong. The hares kindly came to point us in the right direction and for a while we were back on track weaving our way through an orchard. A circle check, and we made the first of our mistakes, with trail being found higher up the road, only for us to get to a cross check from the wrong direction. After finding the false trails we promptly found ourselves back at the previous circle check with the hares waving frantically at us. So far we had run quite a bit of the run backwards, but got back on track quickly enough.

I couldn’t get anything right, and the hangover was hampering my effort. More circles, and more confusion. After a circle, we seemed to go cross country for over 100m until we got to the paper that someone was calling from up ahead. It can’t be right, but I was hot and tired. Humps bellowed that we should go back, while the rest of the pack called On On from down the hill. Neither call made much sense in the grand scheme of the run, so Chuckie and I set off in a completely different direction, with Big Top tagging along. Some people call it “Intelligent Hashing”, whatever – we intercepted the trail shortly before the final V check.

NOYB was up front, and looking fit as a fiddle (is a fiddle really fit?). Anyway, I was relieved when he went the wrong way at the last check (even though it had been kicked out), and I jogged along with CW back to the A where somehow Bow Wow and Muskrat were already waiting! Hard to accuse them of short cutting when I think everybody had their own version of the run. Pretty sure that nobody did the run as intended, but it worked very well anyway – 45 minutes! Loaves of bread greeted us next to the wine at the finish.

Humps kicked off the circle, and things were going smoothly until an unexpected storm hit and washed us away. I justifiably got the wings for my 200th run :) from the safety of my car! Then it was off to a great restaurant for dinner. I think we should get Tasty Buns to set the run more often – this was great!

21st June – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Some 10km along the Sameong Road, and I was dashing to make it there on time. Just in time to collect the money, which didn’t take long, there were only 17 hashers, including 3 visitors. The lowest turn out I can remember for a CSH3. Not to worry, we would set off to see what Cool Balls had put together.

After the hare brief, he pointed UP. Straight up a mud trail / road that seemed to go on forever. Chuckie and I discussed strategy and were hoping Sloppy Rod & None of Your Business would pull their weight at the checks. One of the visitors also looked like he might be up with us – his name ‘Pleasantly Average’ apparently described his cock, but also fitted his running style – he quickly fell into a circle guarding role.

Anyway, after 500m or so of steady climbing up, we were starting to wonder if we were going to get any checks. We needed a break, and Chuckie needed to tie his shoes. Finally a Cross Check, and of course, I picked wrong. Shortly after a circle, and this time the paper was a LONG, LONG way from the check, with NOYB finally picking it after we’d given up checking along that way. Of course, it was the trail that headed UP again.

We’d gained 100m or so in elevation by this point, so NOYB checked down at the next check, while I scrambled up a steep bank towards a forest line. No OnOn call from anywhere else, but I was giving up hope when finally I spotted paper. I don’t think anyone wanted to follow me, and I heard that some short cut here. We’d gone from 382m elevation at the start to 559m elevation in 1.6km – 180 metres climb! Surely we could start our way down now?

Trail was hard to follow through the trees, and Sloppy caught me up by the next check, and sure enough we started down at last. A confusing check, as ONON calls were echoing around the valley, and the trail zig zagged down through a resort. I was left with the miserable view of Chuckie, Sloppy and NOYB racing off from way below me, and no easy way of getting down to them, without the long zig zags – even Big Top and Square Rooter were ahead!

It was hot, I was sweaty, I was tired… After 41minutes, the trail started going up again – up and in the wrong direction. I thought better of it, and when I crossed a little bridge I found Sloppy checking back towards me. A neat short cut, and shortly after I found the paper, again heading UP a ridge. I knew the trail I’d been on headed around that, so I let Chuckie lead the way up there, and intercepted Sups for some intelligent hashing. Within 30m we were back on paper, and heading back down the hill towards the A.

Finally we hit the main road, but rather than taking us along the road, the hare(s) had put us along the side of a little canal – tricky trail, but much better than the road. Back across the road, and we were close to the finish. An hour’s run. A TOUGH hour’s run. As much as I don’t like hills, this was a great set, and the hare (despite not scouting) had clearly put a lot of effort into it – too bad there wasn’t much support from the hashing community.

7th July – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Rating: 9.0/10 (2 votes cast)

The GM teamed up with his wife for a run from the football field – since they have a car, Mr. Poo has been adventurously exploring further away from Wat Umong and the Boy Scout Camp. I arrived in timely fashion, scarcely able to collect the money and then chasing to catch up the pack as they already set off. I grabbed some water, but as I later found out, it wasn’t enough…

A couple of good checks early on before we crossed the road and paralleled the hills. Another check left HRA leading the pack up into the hills. A gentle incline that HRA was happy to scamper up, as was Gorf who quickly passed me, and then Piggy who overtook in a much more gentlemanly fashion. A long stretch, up hill with few checks. Fortunately it was a great trail, but the heat was getting to me, coupled with the hill.

Finally at a circle check the trail headed down – but having climbed for a couple of km, we wiped that out in 100m downhill, before starting another ascent – continuous, upwards at a gradient just too steep for me to try running, but seemingly nothing for HRA (the mountain goat), gorf and piggy. I was relegated to running with Turkey and I wasn’t feeling good! At one point Turkey sloped off to the right, only to reappear slightly ahead – sneaky bastard – maybe he’s onto something? I tried sloping off to the right, and despite confusing HRA, I ended up the wrong side of a deep gully.

Check the watch, only about 3km in, and I was spent. Hot, thirsty, knackered… I got to the road and decided to straight line back down the road, managing to get back before passing out. Not sure what went wrong for me, but the heat killed me. The trail was great, but I am way out of shape at the moment…

31st May – CSH3 – Shagless

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Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Way down the canal road, further than any other run I remember! Finally I got there and a reasonable sized group gathered ready to hash. Hare brief done, and we were off – into rice fields along trail marked with plastic?!? WTF? Quickly to a V check, and I was wrong to the right. Back through the pack, and finally I got towards the front as we slowed to cross a dodgy little bamboo bridge. This one had something for us to hold onto – unlike some that came later…

It was out of the rice fields and into the lamyai forests. Was this really Shagless, or had Skiddy been the real hare?! It felt like San Kampaeng, or Saraphi, but instead we were miles further south! Gorf was setting the pace upfront, regularly passing me every time he fucked up. The checks were doing a good job of fucking everyone up, keeping us going round in circles – particularly when we followed our old trail back to an old V check. We survived though, and followed the flat bank of a small creek. Some shiggy, but a lot of trail.

Finally the heavens opened, and with the rain pouring down, it was hard to see trail, let alone paper – at least we would have a tent or a shelter when we got back… right? Wrong… When we got back there was just the rain pouring into a muddy A site – and it took so long to decide to put the tent up, that the rain had finished before the circle started!