Category Archives: CSH3 – Write Ups

KO stepped up at the last minute to fill in for Wooly Jumper… She had the help of her Mum for the scout and her Dad for the set… Due to the events in Thailand, we opted for a subdued affair, limiting the circle to casual drinking and announcements, along with a minutes silence. But first, the run…

Harebrief over, we set off back to the road and a circle by the entrance to the village (near the disco shelter off Sameong Road). I hadn’t seen any markings on my way in, so I turned confidently to the right, so did CW, and so did Toe Sucker, and looking over my shoulder, so did just about everyone else. I was starting to lose faith when finally I turned around and saw paper on the back of a bush. We were headed towards the hills.

I love the strava playback from this run! Strava! As we headed towards the hills, I kept nailing checks… I accelerated a little, and pushed on hard up the hill as the calls disappeared behind me. I opened up a gap, and as I got to the top of the hill, I couldn’t hear anything more from behind. A V-Check, with the choice between a mainish trail, and a much less obvious one. I picked the less obvious one to the right, and sure enough the trail just continued. Another circle, and again I had it locked in. Now I was descending already, and pressed on. Another couple of checks and I was out onto the trail at the bottom – a circle check. It was too short so far, there had to be a bit more… I turned left and headed up to the pig farm… Nothing… I heard voices in the distance as they started the descent – I called “Checking” cheerfully, and around the corner there was paper… “OnOn”, and off we go!

It was downhill towards the road, and I was home free, so long as there was no False Trail… Surely no false trail? Please no….. Instead there was the welcome sign of “OnIn” with an arrow pointing me back. It was perhaps a little short, but a good work out, nice trails, a nice climb, and steady descent, and great for a last minute put together.

RIPHRH

Turkish was the hare, with Alice apparently stepping up as co-hare / paper carrier. The hare wasn’t there at the start of the run though, so the incompetent co-hare set us off in 180 degrees the wrong direction. 300m or so later, I gave up and went back to ask Alice, who jumped on his motorbike to go search for where the trail started!!! Not the best start to a hash!

We headed towards the hill, and I knew this was a steep ass hill. I’ve run turkey runs and the possibility of a blind hack straight up through shiggy isn’t beyond him. I traverse to the right, and Tasty told me I hadn’t traversed enough… I traversed some more and then found a way up. No call… The first check and this was taking forever… I hacked up further and found a reasonable trail that went along the side of the hill. I was sure we’d be going up the hill somewhere, so would it be left or right. Finally some calls, but no clarity. I had no idea where it was coming from, or where it was headed. Poo was also hacking his way on the same hill, and intent on carrying on, even though he also had no idea where the calls were coming from. I traversed some more, but the calls weren’t helping.

Eventually I made it back down to the trail, and overtook Does Nothing. Already I was feeling weary and wary, or wary and weary. I got to the hares, looking agitated. As I got there Turkish took off running up the hill screaming, telling people to stop. I tried to get some sense out of Alice, who told me the trail was off to the left… I asked why people were calling from up the right, and he said it was because of Turkish… Turkish was the hare! The hare is the reason we call from all directions… I asked who had gone to the left already, and he said “everybody”, even though I knew there were people behind me, and I could hear those ahead of me calling from up the hill…! What am I supposed to believe? Cryptic comments / actions from the hares, or my ears?! I’m trying to rejoin the pack, but being sent away from where they are calling… My faith in the run was already waning…

We were back at the side of the night safari, and somehow I rejoined the front group of hashers. All confused. The next bit was actually a really smart set… – smart from the hares, but frustrating as hell for us runners. We ran essentially along the night safari fence, and at every opportunity we wanted to turn right. And every opportunity we had to turn right we were promptly met with a false trail or check back. My energy levels were drained by each misstep. We got so far around the Night Safari, that I almost though the hares would take us all the way around – and had I not seen them on trail, they might have had me going further…

But, we were 45 minutes into the run, the trail was still going away from home, and towards a hill that I remember… The cards were on the table – I didn’t spit my dummy, I just opted to fold my hand and enjoy the trail by the night safari back to the A. Having a beer with Sups trumps that killer hill climb in my book. While the co-hare was desperate, the hare was disparate.

On reflection the run was intricately clever. The checks were deviously well thought out, and ultimately even cleverer than expected. The incompetent cohare cost us some time at the start, and the checks combined with the fucked up confusion…. Well they tricked me into not trusting the hares anymore, so for that I congratulate you.

An unusually large number of hashers convened today at Miss Piggy’s
beautiful house to celebrate her Mille Run. How many of us ever get to
witness such an occasion, let alone reach this milestone ourselves?
Super Man (1183) and Super Bitch (1050) were both present for this
celebration.

Off then into the misty evening with paper quickly found along a quiet
soi and on into a brownfield site past an unfinished condo high-rise.
Just enough slip-sliding early on to keep the more klutzy hashers
among us focused on our footfall. For this hasher it’s usually the
dopamine kicking in that makes me think there’s gonna be a beer stop
round every corner but today after two quick checks and five minutes
into the run was Byte My Yahoo doing some sterling valet work
marshaling three songthaews featuring, yes, some much needed beer!
This might be some kind of record. Nice job.

Into the songthaew for ten minutes or so until we were deposited at
the Chiang Mai Provincial Government Center (I think). On on then, for
me getting the first check right and closely followed by Cougar, but
breezing past the Check Back. Mr Poo’s eagle eye quickly sussed our
problem and back we came to the pack. Rice fields Ahoy! This time we
kept to some wonderfully muddy trails with some nice checks. Scooby
Doo failed to run out at least one check — someone who really should
know by now that here in CM 100m is an idea, rarely an actuality. It
was during this portion of the hash that I witnessed some rather
unsettling behavior on the part of one master hasher — you know who
you are HRA. Skipping and jumping and yes, deliberately besplattering
all and sundry. A one man gambol fest. Excellent. You know you’re
gonna have to share the source of this exuberance one day Weegee! Chia
seeds? I also enjoyed Shit House pointing out one or two, er, shit
houses of particular architectural int
erest along this stretch of the run!

Out we came to see Lung La parked, I think to take Wimps back, and our
GM and co-hare CW nonchalantly surveying the scene. In fact he was
clocking us breezing past a circle check. Now this is one of those
times when the GM could act responsibly and hide the beer, for this
was no beer check. Fortunately, Chuck Wao and responsible are words
rarely uttered in the same sentence so suitably refreshed we pressed
on with Taste My Buns pressing the initiative through Payap Uni and on
to the Super Highway. Along the SH. Urban hashing at its best. With a
Backcheck we were amongst the reeds and into some primeval,
foul-smelling ooze.

Now we came to a moo baan lost in time. A hidden CM treasure. A
tributary community quietly going about their sluicing business when a
pretty well-held pack of hashers descended. A circle check here took
some figuring out, Sex Pistol and me went back across the sluice gate
looking for the way on but nothing. I believe Square Rooter found the
way forward. Some nice running there on that include clambering over a
fence using a stack of old bar stools. Such are the logistics of a
city run.

Now, city runs do have their detractors. A lot of hashers think they
are much the same as doing The New York Times crossword, eating a
Lobster dinner, or having sex with a blow-up doll — that, is not
worth the trouble! Well, maybe two out of those three. These creaky
knees disagree. CSH3 hashes are big baggy monsters and this was a run
that seemed to fit the occasion somehow, so great work Miss Piggy,
Chuck Wao and Byte My Yahoo for going above and beyond.

I know that somewhere Cuckold is sat in a darkened room pressing F5 on his computer anxiously awaiting the write up verdict! 3 days worth of scouting (drinking?) went into it – that is commitment to a run from the canal road football field! Lets see what the result would be… – in short a really great run, that nobody had anything negative to say about!

The hare arrived at the harebrief covered in mud with his laundry hanging along the wall of the shelter, while his co-hare huddled naked in his car awaiting a change of clothes – wtf was going on there? Nobody dared to ask, so we just listened to the hare brief and set off. The send off was a bit vague, and had Knock Out running for the toilet in the wrong direction, while Turkey managed to short cut from the first bit of paper he saw (in fairness I thought about it too, to avoid the uneven early hack through the building site). Either way we were off and running, with Tasty not wanting to let me have a free choice at the first check. She was determined to check the same way I wanted to – along the main trail to the left. And just as I wanted to, she then turned right and headed up the hill, leaving me to go straight along the bottom. This time the paper was mine – after 150m or so.

I tried jogging a bit, but my legs were screaming “fuck you” back at me, as we rounded the corner. As Chuckie, Turkey & Poo nearly caught me up I got to another check, and went straight up the hill, while the rest checked to the left. I climbed, again 150m or so before finding paper. 100m is the ideal distance for a check, as people are willing to check that far, I had already given up on being right but there were no calls from anywhere else. Finally I got to paper, and nervously called on when I couldn’t find another way to get there. We climbed the hill, and CW managed to cut across and catch up. The next check was at the corner, and I got the chance to check left. Chuckie went right and immediately called on. WTF? CW always waits for the 2nd paper! And the call was promptly followed up with “False Call” just after Tasty had spread the paper out from the circle.

I went back to check to the left, and sure enough another 150m or so there was paper! These checks were long! Another check, and I picked the trail to the right, and went a good 150+m but no luck this time. Finally the call came from the other direction, an eternity away. Turkish wasn’t far behind and we looked at a trail that looked like it might cut across to where the Oncall came, and we took it. Some time later we rejoined the trail, quietly stepping in and rejoining the pack. Many would accuse us of short cutting, and they would be correct.

I will edit out the excuses, but I wasn’t feeling great, and headed back to the cold drinks. I’m sorry Cuckold, I just wasn’t in the zone today. The first half was great, and the report from the other FRBs said it was good all the way through.