Happy New Year Hashers – with electricity in place we were invited to the Poo mansion to bring in the new year. The run was a run… A full on run, chase my buns style, and I’m a bit weary now so I’ll leave you with “Happy New Year”.
None of Your Business was breathalised on the way home with the hash beer – good boy!
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Twas the night before Xmas, and all of the hash gathered for beer and running, but mostly just beer. We were an hour premature, and just as well as the runsite was at the far edge of eternity. From here we would surely head deeper into unknown lands and find new trails? Nope. But we were all filled with Xmas cheer and were looking forward to whatever might happen. The songthaews were late, given the distance and condition of the roads it wasn’t a surprise! Finally we were released and sent back down the road we’d driven in on.
But the pace was on and people were already off. There seems to be an added racism involved in hashing these days 
Another check and I was back in the mix when Scooby started running back past us. I’m not 100% sure, but I think he got a message sending him all the way back to the beer stop – nice and sporting of him to put in the extra legwork. I think if I had had to go back to the beer stop, I would probably have stayed there! Meanwhile Sloppy took great delight in me getting fucked over at the circle check, double bluffing myself while they just laughed at me. MOFOs.
I settled into mid FRB pack, trudging along familiar trails, aware there were people checking ahead, but not really seeing any action. The walkers had been let loose ahead of the FRBs, which is generally a disaster, and sure enough lead to several KM of just running. By chance I joined the front of the pack as we descended on a pile of presents! Woot woot! What would I get? Dmanit, a Santa dress! Sportingly I wore it for the rest of the run, and the temperature immediately rose – damn that was hot, and the dress didn’t stretch enough for me to run properly… I was slowing down…
We got to another check, and I later found out it was the mistletoe kissing check, but the calls were so confusing that I had no idea what was going on. I spent some time checking off back and to the right while I guess the rest of the hash were busy kissing each other. I called “RU?” several times, but got nothing back in return. When I finally went back to trail and discovered the mistletoe check there was some male visitor looking at me in a disturbing way! I cut across to rejoin the trail and sure enough found paper. The paper was interesting, and I immediately suspected the hares had done something interesting… – I went back on trail a short way to see how paper was laid towards what had to be a false trail. As I figured that out, Turkish sprinted past – “winning”! Ha… Graven wasn’t far behind, so I showed him the true trail and we jogged off towards the 2nd beer stop while Sloppy followed and Turkish embarrassed himself.
Another beer stop, and we were just around the corner from the A-site. Trail lead down the hill, and I was sure it must be a sneaky false trail! The hares assured me it was true trail, and reluctantly I attempted to jog in the dress down the hill. I was spent, but walked around the last loop the hares had forced us through and back to an entertaining circle. Nice job guys! Hashy Christmas everyone!
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Angry Inch, Brownfinger, HRA, Turkish Delight
Cumalot cast her eye over the men of the hash and selected Brown Finger to be her paper carrying bitch for the day, between them setting a run at the far south of canal road. I know Suckit knows this area like his own backyard – because it is… And I know Brownie stayed at Suckit’s when he first got back – did he learn the secrets?
The runsite was just off the canal road, which meant the first km was weaving its way through the little mud sois before we got to the hill trails. I jogged off and promptly got the first circle wrong. We circled Suckit’s place, but each time I got close to the front, there was another check, and I was forced to check the wrong way. I’m not sure if I really got to the front of the pack again, but I did a lot of checking the wrong way.
There was a little cut through that went past a Cruella D’Ville’s place, with a billion yappy dogs having some fucked up orgy. I was distracted and when we headed into the woods, I didn’t quite pick up on which trail we went in on, and so was a bit disoriented, and god these trails all look so similar. The checks were well set, slowing the FRBs down, keeping the pack together and cycling the lead, you can’t really ask for much more. I did get back to the front when Mr. Poo ran past a circle check without seeing it, Angry, Turkish & Graven followed me and sure enough I got the next V-check wrong, and was back in the middle of the pack.
The pace was good, the trails being flat and gently undulating, but I confess I was completely disoriented, and when I thought I recognised a feature, I could never be sure. I did know we were heading around to the right, and finally found myself again following Poo at the front. Another circle, and a complete gamble. Finally I knew where we were! Turn right and we hit old trail, turn left and it is a boring km of road to get home. Poo went right, I went left. After an eternity, Poo finally called, and I was at the back of the runners. On the positive side we didn’t have the km of road to do, instead, we ducked and weaved back on the opening trail, but the hare had diligently been out and cleared everything up, relaying the end of the run in powder.
Nice effort hares – a good run, a good circle from the acting, acting GM.
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Brown Finger, Cumalot, Graven Image, Mr. Poo. Turkish Delight, Suckit
The Sups family teamed up for an adventure behind the Night Safari. With more than 2,000 runs between them, and in their own backyard – we could surely expect a hashing treasure?!
The hare brief didn’t sound overly confident – something about being chased by the police or army or something? Hmmm… We set off and Just Cuming & Sheep Shagger ran off up the hill… WTF? Up the hill? Even Brownie felt he had to run to stay ahead, while Poo and I trudged up with Jingly Titties wondering what had happened to the world. A KM or so without checks, and a gruelling KM up up UP! Finally we broke left and had a fun, fast run back down the hill. Brownie leading until he got a check wrong and finally we got to the bottom just behind Tasty, and another circle check. This circle would fox us for a LONG, long time… There was simply no trail off it. We searched left, we searched right, we hacked around in shiggy, and nothing…. I had pretty much given up and decided to head around the road, and poked around here or there, while the rest of the pack also hunted for paper. A group of us got together, and finally we found another circle check – around 500m along the road from the previous circle. It was clear the trail had been tampered with…
At the next check Brownie and Graven were closing me down – I didn’t dare look back, but it did sound like they were skipping and holding hands, and when I checked straight they were definitely following me. It was a narrow trail, so I pondered how they were holding hands AND moving so quickly! Another circle and I took off to the right while they went straight on the main trail… Come on boys, I’d just heard you talking about how you would get off the main trail if you were the hare, but then again, I guess you needed the wider trail to check together? 😛
I found paper, and headed on some serious zigzag chicanes down to the ‘cut through’ with Tasty not far behind. We zigged left, we zagged right, we zigged left again, and at the cut through I was running along hoping to stay ahead of Tasty, when BAM! no more paper… Again… A feeble voice from up ahead and pretty randomly there was Sloppy Rod! Where had he appeared from? Was he doing the run, or just jogging around randomly… He wasn’t on paper, and nor were we. I decided I was thirsty enough to give up on this and headed back, drawing a few of the hashers with me to the safe route up the road to the beer. It would have been a great trail with a few more checks, and without someone sabotaging it!
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Brown Finger, Graven Image, Jiggly Tits, Just Cuming, Mr Poo, Sheep Shagger, Sloppy Rod, Superbitch, Superman, Taste My Buns
The Poos teamed up for another run near the football field – this time the A site was to the left near Tintin’s restaurant. A large crowd had already gathered when I arrived, but as the harebrief came, I felt sick – so sick that I ducked out of sight to deposit my lunch. I walked off following the pack – a pack kept tightly together by some excellent early checks. There was a point where everyone was following Superman and Tiptoe through a challenging little scramble. Finally the FRBs were set free and had a longish run stretch. First Brownie leading, and then Tasty, and then Piggy got a check right as we headed into the hills crossing paper that we had followed on Thursday. I couldn’t quite catch a break as next it was Graven’s turn for a go at the front. I seemed to be just off the pace and it was NOYB that nailed the check when we started heading down. All of a sudden he had a lot of energy and I chased after him, only to get 2nd choice at the next check and be wrong.
A circle check by barbed wire fence, and the leaders went left on the obvious trail, while the next group milled around. I got there with Turkish, and went down the bank to where I remember a little trail was hidden away. Sure enough Turkish called ONON, and Mr. 300 was surely on his way to victory? Only to hit a false trail. We turned back and spread out onto the hillside looking for tiny blobs of powder that could be anywhere. Turkish and I emerged to a bit of a clearing, and sure enough the cars were in view just along a little trail. NOYB followed us, and it was a few minutes before the rest of the pack appeared with Crap Thai leading them in on true trail. Nice set – a more sensible distance after the collection of 8km runs we’ve had recently.
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Brownfinger, Crap Thai, Graven Image, Knock Out, Mr Poo, None of Your Business, Pigshit, Taste My Buns, Turkish Delight
Cuckold teamed with Dodgy Cock for a run out in Maejo. Last week I went backwards, so why not go backwards again today? The OnOnOn was at Baxtah’s in Souf Chiang Mai, and quite a few of the out of towners made the effort to head in, myself included. I had a damn fine burger, and extra fries, with excellent service – if only Cuckold had spent a little less time with the karaoke mic in his hand! Ubered my way home for 95B (-75B discount) = total 20B – not bad, not at all bad! Let me know if you want a discount code 😉
Anyway, hours before the drunken mayhem happened at the ononon, we were in Maejo, and I was carefully driven by my None of Your Business. Finally he was back on the hash, and fit enough to run the first part at least. In the harebrief we were told that we were running on leafsized paper, which the hares called “orange”, but a more accurate shade was “autumnal”. It was as though the haree had selected some dried leaves, headed to a paper mill and asked them to make a batch of leaf coloured paper. Inspired…. or not….
We set off and finally distinguished some paper from the leaves, and then promptly a circle check in the water run off. Mhmmm… Nobody bought it, except me, as I was first there, and obligated to check across the other side. I did, and turned right, to rejoin the pack at the next check. Brownie struggled to follow paper through a bit of shiggy, so I took over at the front, and luckily got first choice at the next check down the main trail… I was running well, and promptly got the next one wrong. I joined Sloppy, and as we passed a junction he stopped, chuckled, and turned back laughing as he had seen an autumnal leaf down the trail to the right… Sadly for him, it was an autumnal leaf, and not the indication of a false trail ahead.
We had got to the square lake, and headed right towards the hills. Another check, and while checking it was called to my left – Sloppy went back, Graven and I went the other way around and rejoined trail. Brownie had the lead and was off sucking up orange squares like pacman. As the rest of us reached a mainish junction we were more sceptical. Why no check? Knowing the trails, there was only one reason for there not to be a check there – we would be back to another trail that wasn’t far away… Note to hares- you could have put a V-check there…
Further down a circle, and Brownie was way off paper, and I led the pack into a field, with a sneaky circle in the middle of the field… Nicely played hares, nicely played. Sloppy called that one when the rest of us were way out of the picture, and then came the epic FRB game play from the Slopster. NO surprise he ran away before the circle started… Up ahead we could see him dart off to the right, and then come back and say he found a circle, but thought he saw some paper to the right. MOFO! All he saw was a complete deadend, but he played it to his advantage… and advantage that didn’t last long. I’m sure he wasn’t disoriented, but checking left at the next check made no sense to me.
The trail was starting to piece together for me, and at 5km in, I didn’t like the prospect of the hill that was still ahead, but it was there, and no way of avoiding it… Why oh why were the hares going to punish us like that??? In some ways it is an advantage to know the area, and in some ways I wish I didn’t know what was coming… Another check, and the rest of the pack checked straight (durrrh), and I was the only one to go right. I was on… sadly on… heading back to close to where there had been no checks before, and as trails were very close, of course there were still no checks. I pressed on alone, calling, and hearing faint calls from behind. Uphill.. I ran for a while, walked for a while, tried to keep pushing, knowing there was no avoiding the ridge at the top… Yes, this late into the run, the hares were going to take us all the way to the ridge.
Very few checks… Not many options on the way up, and had I been behind I would probably have cracked, but I pressed on, knowing that somewhere behind Brownfinger was chasing… What checks there were I got right, until I didn’t. I thought the hares would head towards the 5 way split, but perhaps they weren’t sure where they were and took the mainer looking trail? I went left, and nothing. I went the long way around – there were no calls from the other direction and I had a bit of a lead, so I just managed to pop up back on trail just ahead of Turkish and Brownie.
From there, holy fuck… seriously holy fucking fuckity fuck fuck… There were no more checks, it was a straight on fuckity run run… Every step I took had Brownie right behind me, pushing me, and with him was Cotton Buds? I forget the visitors name… He was coughing like Poo. It was only the narrow trails that stopped them from passing me… while I was close to collapsing, somehow Brownie was able to maintain a steady commentary of the run behind… “You can do it… Byte, it’s just another 10 metres… These are the ones that count… You’re going to do it… Good job!” How can he speak??? How is that human? Finally there was the road, and the onin… I was ready to collapse… I let Brownie overtake if he brought me a beer back – he didn’t….
8.66km… A tough run for a Saturday hash. It worked for me, but for the hash there should have been a lot more checks in the second half as the pack stretched out a lot. It was a really great run for the runners, with great checks in the first half, but probably a little long for a regular Saturday run?
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Brown Finger, Graven Ima, Mr Poo, Sloppy Rod, Turkish Delight
Lets go backwards… The ONONON… I will never set foot in that establishment again – completely and utterly the most disgusting experience I have ever had, anywhere, ever. I have gained a reputation for getting bad service, getting my food last, or not at all…. I am trying to be composed and relaxed about it, and ordered a burger, reconfirming the order with the owner a while later. I have NEVER been shouted at by the (farang) owner of a restaurant after I didn’t get my dish. She didn’t care at all, initially blaming me for confusing her staff (by ordering a burger), and then blaming my friends for eating my burger!!!!! After 10-15 minutes of being shouted at by the owner of the restaurant, I went to say goodbye to my friends, whereupon she followed me and continued to shout at both me and the rest of the hashers. I trust that nobody will ever visit that restaurant ever again.
Backwards… The circle was good – the hare was heard to remark that often the better circles come after a fucked up run… Yes, Frozen, you know what is coming….
I arrived at the runsite and Frozen initially suggested I parked 100m or so away from the circle, which isn’t a great idea as beer monster. After a very long hare brief, we were finally set off with ambiguous instructions. We hadn’t even found trail when we were off paper with Obscene calling us on on old paper. Finally we were underway and I nailed the first couple of checks and then promptly got it wrong. Chasing back I was running up a bit of a hill, and we got to a couple of V checks before all hell broke loose. A circle check….
A circle check… a harmless circle check? We scattered… And we found paper…. Boy did we find paper… We found paper all over the fucking place!! And the hare had be kind enough to autograph ever piece of paper with “FDSS” (frozen dick and Sheep Shagger – note Sheep Shagger wanted nothing to do with it – he wasn’t even there). Sadly 90% of the paper we found had FDSS on it… And it was leading in all different directions! Several times we confidently set off following trail, only to run out of paper. Other groups of hashers were following other sections of trail, sometimes forwards, sometimes backwards… The only thing that was absolutely clear was… we had no fucking idea what we were supposed to be doing!
I ran back to the previous V check to check if it really was a check back on the other trail. HRA was running around talking about rubber tire bridges, and we shouldn’t cross them, the hare said so… Finally there was a huge “ONON” call, and all headed towards it, only to find Chuckie, calling us back to the circle and saying he was giving up and heading home… (except he didn’t know which way home was!) I pointed out where home was and told him how to get there back down the road, but also that it wasn’t the point of the hashing – I wanted to solve the mystery! We found another circle check and Angry Inch failed to find paper down the obvious road – at this point, just about everyone gave up and headed home, leaving only Brown Finger and I trying to figure it out. We followed a trail backwards, we knew the paper was backwards, and then when trail ended we were very close to “the circle” after doing a bit of a loop around. Things were making sense now, and back to the circle where everyone gave up. This time we approached from the correct direction, and with almost all other directions thoroughly checked, everything became clear like a flash of light – we turned left and headed into shiggy.
From there it was nice running trail, and Brownie kindly jogged along at my pace so we could run in together, overtaking HRA & Cumalot holding hands after the OnIn. Fun times!
http://labs.strava.com/flyby/viewer/#779862116?c=w5q61w6j&z=G&t=1OC2d4&a=ZMB7LlFYdi4
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Brown Finger, Chuck Wao, Frozen Dick, Sheep Shagger
Mini Ball Breaker time. Sloppy and CW had scouted the shit out of this run, I had high expectations heading out to the runsite, this would be engineered to the highest level! The signs led us well past Baan Pong resort, which confused Sheep Shagger & Big Top, but finally we all got there ready for a slightly late start. The hare brief was thorough.
We set off, and although we were deep into the hills, the trails were immediately familiar – I felt like I was on a Belly Dancer run… Yikes! Familiar trails, so some familiar checks – I nailed the first few, even though the checks were cleverly placed, so the out trails weren’t obvious – memories help! We headed over to the rocket launcher lake and trail went the long way around a field before a circle check. My first instinct was to follow the main trails towards where the BB had gone, but after a quick survey, I picked across the dam. The trail had arced nicely around so that the route across the dam wasn’t obviously visible. Nice work hares – I thought I had them and headed to the dam… Nothing up on the dam, and nothing to be seen in the distance. Surely I was over 100m from the check? Damnit, I went back and headed down the obvious trail and TMB called out from the bushes that there was nothing there. I was flummoxed. Finally HRA called from over near the dam – the MOFO bastard hares had gone over the dam, but disguised their approach, and I must have been within inches of finding their paper on my first guess.
Over the dam we went, and then a Wimp Rambo split. From here the checks were less frequent – less opportunities to put checks as we entered a valley. I tried to keep pace, but also tried to save energy for the anticipated 13km. 3km in and I was feeling shaky. I was dripping with sweat. So much that anyone behind me on trail would have been slipping on the wet trails like a thunderstorm had been through. The trail turned upwards, and I hated it. I thought I was mentally ready for a 13km ball breaker, but at the first real challenge, I was broken. Climbing hills I try to keep the philosophy of keeping going, but today I am disappointed in myself. I broke. I paused and leaned on a tree, with sweat pouring off me like a thunderstorm. The pack passed. Some cursing, some screaming (ONON), most cursing to be honest… I stopped several times on the climb. It was steep – I think I have been there just once before – 20th May 2013 (does anyone have the GPS of Belly’s AGFU run???).
Finally we summited and Knock Out was there waiting for me, or probably Poo who was just behind me. We descended the other side, and I could hear people ahead, but the trail down (for me) was treacherous… I certainly didn’t feel comfortable at more than a walk, and mostly I was picking my footing to avoid falling over, or falling off. I was shaky, and hopefully wasn’t holding up the group of Poo, KO and ABB. The was a check ahead, and as I descended slowly towards it, it seemed there was a huge group of hashers just stood there, until eventually Cumalot called from further down the hill – why hadn’t the FRBs found it already? Was I back in it? Meh, the trail was still the kind of trail that I inched along and before long there was silence ahead.
Finally we levelled out and I started striding forwards, only to immediately turn my left ankle in a hidden hole. DAMNIT!!!!! I should just resign to this not being my weekend. As we came out into an orchard, KO said that it looked like where we set the run a few months back. Impossible, but my mind raced, and suddenly I knew where we were again. And as we turned left I was happy to know we were heading towards a really nice cut through back to the main big lake. Poo took off, leaving us behind, and I mixed walking and jogging to get through to the beer stop. Water stop? No water? WTF? No hares? From Strava the FRBs had set off just ahead of us, but when we got there, there was just an ice bucket of beers… It took less than a nanosecond for me to make a decision, and I made the true hashers decision to grab a beer. And a while later, Poo and I walked back to the A… Not what I had planned, and from looking at the maps, the end parts of the run look really interesting… Thanks hares!
The final moments of the run was Taste My Buns running in a couple of hundred metres ahead of Graven and Brownie – who weren’t holding hands, at least they weren’t when they saw us watching…
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged ABB, Belly Dancer, Brown Finger, Chuck Wao, Graven Image, Knock Out, Mr Poo, Sloppy Rod, TMB
Remember, remember the 5th of November…. Where were our fireworks? bonfire? guys? Two weeks running the haring power couple of Alice & Blows Herself stepped up, this time along Ob Kham road, near the BJ ranch. I barely made it in time to offload beer and put on shoes ready for the off. Strangely I felt spritely at the start and put some effort in. I ran along, and opened up 100m or so lead, only to turn the corner straight into a false trail. Nice going Alice…
Turned back, and most of the hashers just stood around looking confused, so luckily I managed to find the trail just behind ABB, and again feeling spritely sprinted off to the next check, back at the road. It couldn’t be left, because that just took us back to the A-bucket, so it had to be right… WTF? So now this was Alice 2 – BMY 0. I continued pushing and again ran through the pack, and as I overtook Sloppy he questioned why I was running so hard. Check #3, was just around the corner to the right… Was it a double bluff? A triple bluff? Why wasn’t the check at the junction? I took the bait and carried on, only to hear the On-Call from back the other way… Damnit! MOFO! Alice 3 – BMY 0.
I know I was the one pushing the early pace, but with Graven, Brownie and Angry swelling the FRB ranks the pace was quick. I was managing to keep up even though there were very long stretches between checks. Angry and CW got a check wrong and Brownie, Graven and I ran along for a bit – some just behind but I don’t know who. Jeez, I was pushing to stay in touch. The trail abruptly turned left, but I left Brownie to sniff that out while Graven and I continued finding trail after what was presumably a false trail? (Alice 3 – BMY 1). The trail hit a T-junction, and turned right, to a circle. Someone got there a bit ahead of me, I ignored it and just headed left.. (Alice 3 – BMY 2).
Graven overtook and lead, then CW overtook me, and then Graven, so CW was leading. Angry came out of nowhere and sprinted past as we hit the concrete by the temple. Trail was clear up ahead, but with the nice little trail to the right, I was confident there would be a false trail – so was Graven, and sure enough we turned right, finding trail while CW did the dummy run. Alice 3 – BMY 3 – an equaliser! Was there enough time to get a result?
Over to the main road, and along again. Now Brownie and Graven overtook and were setting the pace ahead. They stopped suddenly at a false trail, and everyone behind me turned around. This was an attempted sneaky one, with true trail restarting from within 10m of the FT. That didn’t catch me, and so I’m claiming an injury time winner! (Alice 3 – BMY 4). From there I was pretty much spent. Jogging, walking, chatting as one by one I was overtaken. A different run. Some nice trails, perhaps a bit too much road, and could have done with more checks!
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Who Put The Khunt in Gassan Khuntan?
A fab weekend of frolics, friends and fantastic trails courtesy of Dr Byte, Knockout, Chuckles and the hangover run hare HRA.
Friday night cheese and wine was a fun event and set us up for a great run thru the valley and hills around Gassan Khuntan. Hares BMY and CWao took us though the golf course and right through a building site into woods and orchards and rather splendidly along the narrow guage railway line.
Back across the line we went eventually and across part of the new 9 holes of the golf course, on on well spotted by Sex Pistol.
Along a weir and into forest trails, V check followed V check and up and down the wooded hills we went, across little sandy stream beds and winding around between bigger hills to the much awaited beer stop after 6 and a bit km and 75 mins of hard hashing.
Taste My Buns was off her sick bed going well and Sloppy Rod showed us a clean pair of heels. Piggy, Poo, HRA, Sex Pistol, Turkish, a young Pommy visitor and Angry Inch seemed to be doing the majority of the checking labours. Blows Herself certainly called loudly and Knockout now has competition in the decibels stakes, altho at a lower frequency of noise.
After the drinks stop, it was tricky and confusing, the checks were hard, paper was perhaps missing and a guilty farmer eventually showed TMB where he’d taken it down from! The rest of the missing paper was probably goggled by the insects who were still hungry after devouring the floor laid paper circles for 24 hrs.
Eventually the farm tracks opened up to a wide vista of river and the double span white railway bridge. Up we went and along the tracks just before a loco streamed into view! Finally the C bucket just the other side of the bridge. Well done Tiptoe and Catastrophe for completing the long trail!
Iconic views, cold Lao Dark, a long but nice natured circle and back to the resort for nosebag and well lubricated social banter.
Sunday’s hangover run was an entertaining 30 mins of orchards and hillside trails with a long asphalt on in. Many thanks to CWao and HRA for that not little gem.
An outstation to savour in the Land of Smiles.
On on!
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups