Category Archives: CSH3 – Write Ups

Only another month or so until we get a new beer monster! 😀 This one didn’t have electrolyte, causing a few grumpy faces before the harebrief. It seemed Piggy had a bit more to say in the harebrief, but gave up and set us off.. Soon enough there was a circle – a bit confusing as the circle was back on trail behind where the trail finished. I got it right and headed towards the hills with Alice in quick pursuit. The trail peeled off to the left to a lemming cliff jump. I paused for a while wondering if we really were supposed to jump off the edge, before turning around to see who was following me – when I did, I spotted the false trail on the back of the tree. Phew, I headed back to the main trail and the pack followed me up the hill.

The next check is where things got messy. Clearly someone had tampered with the trail. Clearly paper had been torn off, and clearly some checks were no longer there. We got stuck at a circle check that took a long, long time to find, mostly because the trail had been taken away. Finally we did some forensic analysis of staples that appeared to have recently been stuck into a tree, and pieced the fuck up together. There were probably 3-4 checks missing, with random papers in between. Tough to follow, which resulted in the pack being kept together. Square Rooter was leading the way for a while, and I remember seeing Stumbling Dyke running along ahead of me at one point. Despite the confusion, it created a nice hasher community spirit and together we solved the problem!

The trail had been clinging to the edge of the hills, and finally it headed towards the hills. I got a circle right, and then a V-check wrong, which put me along with Chuckie who was mumbling about his lack of fitness, still being sick and all.. I got to a circle check with Knock Out and she gave me the choice of where to check. I picked straight… until I spotted something up the hill to the left – changed my mind and everyone followed. We had some climbing to do and no avoiding it. It seemed tough at the time, but it wasn’t so bad – a bit of off trail scramble, and soon enough we were back on the ridge trails, trying to guess how far back we needed to go before we could drop down the hill.

Another V-Check, and Chuckie really wanted me to check to the right, but no chance, I am going left! And then a circle, and a random Alice appeared from nowhere! I will be interested to see his strava to find out how he got there ahead of us – for sure it wasn’t all on trail, but from talking after I think he only skipped a little corner, but given we didn’t hear anything from him, perhaps he’s spent too long at the Turkish school of hashing? Snowballs was hot on my tail, and given the chance he took over the lead, a lead he wasn’t going to give up! Now I was 2nd, or 3rd to checks, so started having to take the lower percentages, and lost some ground – Alice passed, KO passed, Sloppy passed, Graven passed…

But we were descending, and we were running. Breezing through a few checks, and ahead there was a circle. Alice down the hill checking when it was called to the right just before I got there – he didn’t come back! I was running with KO, with Sloppy just ahead peeling the checks as he followed I guess Snowballs as he was just out of sight. Suddenly it seemed like KO sped up and was pounding down the hill behind me! I pushed on a bit, in my macho mood not wanting KO to catch me. Surely I could hold her off??! Another couple of hundred meters and I was seriously wondering what had got into her – surely she doesn’t push this much??? A glance over my shoulder as she caught me, and I realised it was Graven Image catching up from going wrong at one of the last circles!

We cruised past the ONIN and into the A-site to find Alice debriefing the hare and Sups had outwitted us all again!

—-
Courtesy Alice:-
My area of hills, writes humble scribe Alice, thus I was intrigued, what would the porcine duo have in store for us?
At the first circle Byte chose correctly up, so I followed. You can’t go thru the back of the Grand Canyon! A slightly silly off trail left, overpapered, had to be a FT but did it go into the hills by a secret path. Not. FT. But you never know!
At the next obvious check its on up into the doi or down the dip and round. Alas KO didn’t go far enough to find paper so we rechecked, headed bush to find non existent trails before finally just going further along the obvious path. On on!
A missing check at the next corner…..confusion…perhaps a circle missing and no paper. I checked confidently up to the doi then heard Byte yell OnOn from the loop.
Jogged around that loop and more missing paper. KO went down into the gulley and another on call from ahead so I pulled her off. I mean out. She yelled OnOn in my ear so loudly I went partially deaf, as well as stupid.
Pack ran on path away from the doi to I think a V or circle that took a minute or so to solve. I had a hunch, dropped thru the orchards and found paper on the path leading up the valley.
I turned left, ran up the valley, took straight at the V, correct guess left up the field from the circle to the little ravine then steep forest path up, up, up. Left is down so it had to be right at the top, it was. After a few hundred metres of lovely flattish, forest trail, right at that V. Left was too obvious! It couldn’t be left, just running through. Wrong.
Bushwhacked back to trail and got the next one right then messed up. A circle in a tricky bit of forest with interconnected spurs. Dogshit and Taste My Buns have come to grief here…with me. Went front right, decent path, Aaah no, the spur to nowhere. Then straight and ….no paper. 360 plus metres wasted. As I returned I saw/heard Snowballs, Byte, Graven and KO piling thru. Snowballs found paper 40m from the circle at 7 o’clock position. Off we went again!
We were running on decent trails along the ridge lines but someone wanted to make it tougher. Wonder who pulls down 200m of paper then leaves the rest? Thank fcuk they do!
At a circle in a glade I took left down the valley towards the A. Wrong, someone called from above. Damn. I bushwhacked again and came out level with FRB Snowballs. Down the ridge towards the farmlands we scampered and a circle in the obvious place. Would Piggee make us loop around further or drop into the ravine? I went towards the drop but OnOn was called straight out of the forest. I charged thru a V here, unseeing.
SB had gone right and Graven straight. I barrelled down after the speeding Image and felt distraught as SB called trail from the other side. Gravity just kept me rolling down and Graven asked:Where the hell you going? as he ran back up past me. Home! I panted.
I knew my trail basically paralleled their trail and hopefully just came back to the A from the other side. And it did. And it was good. Snowballs checked up my trail once home for a few minutes, Jeez, that man had some running in his long legs yesterday.
Nice work hares, good to see how the mind plays tricks and doubts are cast when obvious options appear incorrect even though they aren’t. The psychology of hash running is a much understudied subject. Master’s degree anyone?

Fire in the Hole!

Dr Byte set a memorable run over 2 days, 3 visits and interesting terrain way out back of Mae Jo, writes Alice.

In fact it had everything: sneaky checks, cheeky checks, cunty going thru unmarked barbed wire checks, 4 fire lines to cross, farm trails, orchards, forests, ridges and about 2 too many km!
FRB Taste my Burns came home with 10km on her Strava, almost double the Turk’s I believe. Most of the runners were in within 5 mins of her 1:20 approx arrival back at the A. The walkers Tiptoe, Fawcet etc and poor Mr Poo were another story!

The run was a clever, demanding set over some new trails for last minute busy hare Dr Byte. Why he didn’t rehash an old trail of his backwards, I’ve yet to learn.

The checks were obvious and sometimes tricky, tricky and backwards and sometimes cunning, mean, nasty and admirable all at once.

The pack puffed up a ridge towards the burning zone and were faced eventually with four leaps through the fire line and smog. It was all quite exciting I felt. Browny, Turk and 3.5″ shared FRB duties with TMB – with Strangely up there and doing fcuk all at circles to assist those behind despite the hares advice to play nice. He either ripped half the paper and just ran off – or stood at the circle and just ran off when On On was called, not taking any paper or ripping the circle. Lucky Sex Pistol is retired or she’d have taken down Strangely Anal’s particulars.

Graven was rattling along by half way and whenever he passed me after being buggered by a check back, remarked his surprise at me being amongst the elite runners. Ha! Newly named Spitz Spunk was upping his game with an excellent run from a man more used to swimming 200 laps being yelled at by his coach and voiding his bladder at the same time not the pool. Class.

We came out of the burnt forest after surviving, I think, 2 missing circles on the way but paper after 100 was still hanging. The FRBs do need to call On On when paper disappears and Checking! when they disappear after a circle. Otherwise no one behind has a clue in hell. Turkish is exempt from these rules naturally, as PM Erdogan has written him a note for the GM.

The route in after the forest was easy enough running on clear paths but with some challenging checks, the FRBs were bunched, especially as TMB chose check backs with regularity.

Eventually we slogged into an orchard and were back to the A bucket in just over 1:20 for Alice, SpitzSpunk and SP, who were behind the aforementioned FRBs, who hove into sight after Turkish had returned to the A but from which direction no man can tell. Fast walkers ABB and Pussy Whisperer were hot on our lips, I mean tails; they are the target for the returning ChuckWao next run.

Circle was bravely administered by said ailing ChuckWao with hare BMY out rounding up stragglers. Visitors Brainfart and Necrofillher from Puerto Gallera and Choo Choo Cabra from Norfolk, Virginia were welcomed and jolly nice to see the rewards of retirement in Phills it was too!

Superman managed to wheedle his way to the male wings and I think Sex Pistol the female. The excitement had overcome my fevered bow by then.

Great set Byte, but a tad on the challenging side for some walkers and recovering vets. Running through flaming fire walls was an exciting first that your scribe Alice is not overly keen to experience until next year, however the hare was not responsible. But I wouldn’t be the first to say that!

Doi Saket – my kinda town! 😀 I love runs here! Alice prefers the area to the left of the canal – plenty of flat buffalo trails that weave around, so good for a runners trail. Moments before the run started there was no sign of Alice “Where the fuck is Alice?”. He showed up with moments to spare and set us off. I jogged along to the first circle with Obscene, who decided to take a lie down rather than bother doing any checking – the youngster preaches to us about short cutting, but doesn’t do a lot of checking, me wonders what parental guidance he’s getting!

Anyway, someone called it and the pack converged through an opening into another open buffalo field. Another check, and again I wanted to go right. I’m not sure why… The hare had given away that it was anticlockwise in his hare brief vernacular, but yet I didn’t want to turn left quite yet. I was wrong, as was most others, and we headed back out to the road through the opening that was so much less flooded than some months back!

We hit the canal, and for me here it had to be left, I didn’t see him crossing the canal, as there were just too many rice fields to play with. A circle check by the road had us checking a long time. There were many options and much confusion. The road, with it’s perpetual motorbikes, coupled with dogs meant nobody really had much of a clue what was going on. Finally someone called it on, straight on the other side of the canal. Obscene, kept going his side of the canal, and sure enough soon we were at another circle and again the ‘right’ side of the canal.

I think most of us missed a little loop here, as we headed into the Chinese cemetery. Tasty was way up ahead, and I joined Brownie jogging along behind. He wanted conversation, but I wanted my inhaler, which was sadly in the car. We hit the wimp rambo split, and of course turned right onto the rambo. Really not sure how much the walker trail took off- looks like a lot of haring effort for minimal hasher reward! Another circle, and Tasty went straight, Brownie went left, and I had to go right. No calls, nothing… When finally it was called straight, I was mumbling to myself about silent runners (but when I got home and checked the Strava, people weren’t checking where I thought they were!) No worries, I was coming back a bit from behind, and caught up again with the LAZY None of Your Business…

A couple of back to back false trails, and I was back in the mix – the mark of a good hare bringing the pack back together. At the canal road, I didn’t want to check the other side of the canal, so paused for Brownie to go straight and TMB to go back to the left. I chased after TMB at the call, and we rejoined the walkers. As a general rule I don’t like Walker/Runner trails – they have a habit of getting confused, particularly when walkers end up on trail ahead of runners. This time we rejoined at about the same time, but there was still some confusion. Again, good checks got the pack back together, and KO was out in front for a while, until she was thwarted by a neck high trip wire and a pack of deceptively friendly dogs.

We were on the home stretch, which sadly Alice hadn’t had time to mark. So I met him in the forest on his bike. He told me to follow the trail out “durrh”…. While behind me he followed laying paper. It entertained me no end for me to call “LOOKING”, while Alice was 2m behind on his bike, 2m behind him was 3.5 Inch, calling “ONON”, leaving those behind wondering wtf was happening as “LOOKING” “ONON” “LOOKING” “ONON” “LOOKING” “ONON”….

Around an hour before the run started I was feeling more like going back to bed than going to the hash! If I wasn’t the beer monster I doubt I would have made it – that’s what happens when the GM organises a committee meeting the night before a hash! I made it though and had time for a quick lie down in the sala before setting off. I was slow setting off, as I struggled to unload the beer. Graven kindly gave me a clue about the first couple of checks, and would you believe it, I was back at the front when we saw Graven waiting for us at the lake by the Tiger’s Head. Brownie joined me and then Turkish, but I wasn’t feeling any better!

Another couple of checks, and we were on trails that I know pretty well. One check wasn’t really clearly kicked out – perhaps needed more paper, so I went back to make it clearer. Man I didn’t feel like running. Moments later I felt even less like running, and found myself returning my lunch. I wasn’t going to make it so I turned back and found my own trail. Seems like I missed the big hill climb, and avoided the nasty descent back to the lake. Sorry Graven, I’m sure the run was great!

Twas a modest hash that turned out for a night run in celebration of love and valentines. We were in Ob Khan, and it seems the hare had had a hell of a day! Poo admitted to hospital, leaving KO to set the run with her “Kik”, or brother as she claimed… Clearly quite a bit of thought had gone into it though, with love hearts for checks, prizes to be won, and pink paper to follow… Pink? Hmmmz…

A couple of hashers (Alice & Turkish) had decided to do the run blind, and not bring any kind of torch, while the rest of us took a torch… A “white” light torch. KO admitted she’d asked the opinion of Poo when picking the colour of paper, perhaps not her wisest choice, because other humans see light from the electromagnetic spectrum, waves with wavelengths between 390-700 nanometers. This of course contains all the pure colours, like those in the rainbow when light is refracted. It doesn’t include unsaturated colours such as pink or magenta as they can only be seen by combining multiple wavelengths. Most of us had torches, so we could shine a bright white light source into the darkness, and of course we are able to see different colours based on how that light is absorbed by different objects – we see a red t-shirt because the shirt absorbs all the colours EXCEPT red, the red reflects off the shirt and our eyes are trained to “see” red. The same for green leaves – all the other light is absorbed by the green leaves, and green is reflected back… All previous night runs that I’ve been on have used white paper, white paper.. WHITE paper FFS!!! If an object appears to be black, it is simply absorbing ALL the light, if an object appears to be white, it is not absorbing anything, it is simply reflecting all the light back! If an object is a small pink strip of paper it might stand out from a green leaf when there is plenty of light, but using torches, it takes a miracle to see it!

We set off, and we still had some daylight, and Brownie wanted to run from the start. Something about legs needing to warm up after a hill on Thursday. We jogged along, and finally got to a check – grabbed some paper and I headed right, while he carried on. I was correct, although it was some distance before I found paper – gone is the day of KO doing 10m checks! A nice, familiar trail around to another “heart” shaped circle. I went left on the obvious road, and went a good distance, before exploring the hill a bit. Back to the check and nobody had called, so I explored the quarry area, again nothing, and no calls. I remembered we’d used before back a bit, but today there was a big white barbed wire covered gate blocking the way. I had a hunch that gate was open a few hours earlier, so decided to go on the road where I’d checked first around to the other end of the trail. Most of us did the same, and sure enough we were back on paper. Who needs the hare when we could just guess where they might have set paper instead!?

We jogged for a bit and then another unexplained stretch of paperless trail??? Had someone really pulled it down? We hunted around a bit, before continuing the only sensible way, and sure enough were back on paper. Very difficult to follow in places, but we persisted, sometimes doing our own thing, other times finding paper. Fortunately the area lends itself to great trail running, so we all found our own loops and got back one way or another.

The Sameong Road Football field… There have been several inexperienced hares setting from here who decided to use all the temple steps – fortunately Blows Herself (and 3.5 inch side kick) chose better and set a really great run – thanks guys! I arrived very early to discuss some Animal Dinner options with the GM, but as he was late, I poked around looking for the starting paper – it was heading for the bamboo bridge. That meant come runtime, I needed to head off quickly to avoid the inevitable queue while we try to cross the bamboo bridge from hell…

Sure enough I got there first, but it was even shakier than I was used to, and only got a couple of steps out onto it before I realised I wasn’t going to make it across, and behind me a pack of braying hashers were very ready to ridicule me. FUCK! What could I do? I was shaking, unstable, and the rail wasn’t helping me at all. I tried to get down on my knees to crawl across, but that wasn’t going to happen. Meh. I went back and instead of using the bridge, plunged into the river… I’ve never tried this water crossing before, and it was deeper than I thought, and the climb to get out was steeper than I’d hoped, but it was definitely quicker than crossing the bamboo of hell…

I emerged in good state – thanks Turkey for trying to help me up – while everyone else was jeering, Turkish was the only voice of humanity offering me a hand to climb up – I should have given you a thank-you splash! Another couple of checks and we were at the quarry that is home to so many fuckups. Given the terrain it is hard to set a run with the out trail not being too close to the in trail, and at this point, so often things have gone wrong. This time Angry Inch went just far enough in the wrong direction to find trail. Meanwhile Chuckie, Shagless and I found paper to the left. We were confident, just as confident as the rest of the pack. We called and jogged along a little bit to a circle – paper leading straight to the circle meant we were right. I yelled, I bellowed, and wondered if anyone would pay attention…

We went through a few checks, the three of us, and I was thinking the rest of the pack may do it backwards and us meet halfway around. A V-check, with Shagless leading the way, and neither CW or I wanted to take the left option – from here we always go up over the hill and around. But duty bound I went left. I didn’t hear anything the other way, so carried on and I was on my own ahead of the pack. The next few checks were no-brainers, if you knew the area. We had to head to the junction at the corner of the rubber wall. Of course there was a circle check there, and my first real FRB decision. I’d made the decision some time before getting to the check… Going to the left along the wall was an option, but I picked the trail almost straight, while downhill to the right was very unlikely… When I got back I was shocked to see the rest of the pack appearing! It seems they were smarter than I give them credit for and had followed our calls. They were so smart that nobody checked down the hill and just followed Chuckie to the left. WTF?

Sure enough he was right, and I trudged off after them resigned to the inevitable hill climb. The trails here are fantastic! It’s like the hashgods came down and laid some trails out just for us to play on. Unfortunately there are physical obstructions that restrict the hare’s possibilities. We had to go up the hill… A circle check on the climb, and I guess I know the area better than those ahead, as I was entirely convinced by my guess, and sure enough I was right. More climbing, and ahead of me the other FRBs cut across and popped out on trail ahead of me. As we hit the ridgeline Chuckie, Tasty and Graven were leading the way. Another check and Graven made a poor choice. Few checks now and we had the charge down the hill… A long run down… Ahead was CW & TMB, behind Angry and Lizzard Gizzard. I enjoyed the downhill, but definitely didn’t run full out, it was perfectly hashable, but a little treacherous as several hashers came in needing medical attention!

At the bottom of the hill the trail went back over the bamboo bridge… meh… I’ll take the nice concrete one, and did a minor detour…

After Poo failed to perform, KO traded him in for a younger model, and took the colombian to carry white powder through the Thai jungle near Mae Taeng. It was outstation time again, and a long messy weekend, particularly those who went to the CH4 starting Thursday. I set off on Friday, and got to a familiar resort – same as where Skiddy set a few years back. The resort was just as rustic as before – this time I brought a thick blanket to keep warm at night, but had to endure the cold shower and hard bed, while Pamela was less fortunate and went straight through his rotting balcony.

I got there after work on Friday, with just enough time to go out and do the CH4 run. It was very nice, although clearly screwed up in places. The first thing I found was the OnIn, and then followed trail backwards, before getting it right forwards again. Either way, it worked up a thirst, and we spent a long time on Friday drinking around the fire. A long, long time, so Saturday was a wash out for me, and I really wasn’t feeling too good when it came time to run. The hangover worked its way off in waves through the run.

The first bit was easy – just out to the entrance where most of us had seen trail already. At the road, I promptly got it wrong and was then chasing a large pack of fit runners. Chasing and chasing. The pace was not at all shabby over great running trails, and the checks slowly brought me back into the FRB pack. We got to one circle, and HRA and I spotted a little trail back from the circle to the right, it smelt good, and sure enough I was up front with HRA. Another circle close to a lake. HRA went to the left around the lake, while I carried on down the road (I had heard the hares talking about road, and worrying there might be too much. There wasn’t much, but bizarrely it took me a while to find the powder. But at last I was free! Running at the front! I rounded a corner, crossed a little bridge, only to see a FUCKING FT!!!

Damnit! I was back to chasing the pack, and this time I never recovered. When we hit the closing trails from Thursday’s run, I think most knew where they were and sped back to the beer. Excellent run, in a really nice area.

The run started from near Tintins restaurant, not far from the canal road football field. Cars lined up, and a harebrief told us to expect paper, circle checks and V checks. Heading off towards the hills, an a circle check, with Angry Inch following me straight on, claiming he could see paper (which he could, it just wasn’t from our run). Luckily our run was tucked off to the right and we were off with Brownie following just behind. Ducking into a dried up creek bed, there was a V check. I went right, and Angry followed me, leaving Brownie to check to the left. After a couple of hundred metres our confidence grew, and we climbed up out of the creek bed to a well used hashing trail – a circle check, and I went left up the hill… Angry just followed straight up behind me!!! It seems our Inch fellow had completely forgotten checking etiquette! We were well clear of the rest of the pack, passing where the walker trail broke off to the left, and the runner trail continued up the hill. It was an ominous sign having the split so early – I already dreaded that the 2nd half of the trail would be a run with all the checks kicked out.

At the next circle, I continued up the hill, shocked that Angry was following me again! Like a midday shadow! Was he following paper, or just following me?! I went over 100m, and no sign of paper, but this check had us all grouped up and spread out all over the place. It was devilish. I checked several directions, but with nobody calling ON, I crept to the edge of a crevasse, and peeked over. Sure enough I could see a flash of white paper in the canyon beneath – but how could I get to it? I abseiled down hanging off tree trunks till I got to the bottom and double checked it was our paper. ONON!

Angry Inch was quickly behind me.

The next check I didn’t quite get right, but I didn’t quite get wrong, and as Turkey ran one side of the gully, I trekked along the other side. We came together at the bottom, and another circle. The hares were doing a stunning job of getting maximum distance out of small surface area, and I couldn’t imagine them turning to the left again, but somehow they did. I guess the reason the trails didn’t connect was mostly because we weren’t on trails for some sections.

We rejoined the walkers, and my fears were proved correct. Everything was kicked out now, and it turned into a flat out run. No checks to bring the pack together, just a marked run, with the occasional greeting as we passed some walkers. No idea who was up front as I had lost ground on a check, but jogged along with HRA for a while. For once I managed to pass TMB, and her morning half marathon must have been taking its toll as she didn’t over take in the last km or so. A fun route, with some really tough checks – I guess the walkers had the opportunity to try out some checking for once!