Category Archives: CSH3 – Write Ups

(By Alice)

Turkey Trot
Turkey laid a real turkey of a run for the Sat crowd, swelled as it was by the raucous rabble from Hamersley H3 in North Perth.
His run was mostly flat and sometimes wet, winding in and out of fields, tips and sticking in the main to gravel tracks.
The set was not without challenge. He didn’t take his hat as it was overcast and only one bottle of water would suffice. D’oh! Spectacularly wrong on both counts!
After a sneaky False Trail into the forest we turned left thru some official looking property and wiggled thru back paths to a wet field. Turkey was excited at the prospect of hashers sinking knee deep into wet boggy ground covered with thick grass. Remember that people!
The next set of circles were a f up. The hare appeared and angrily ordered Obscene back and to the right. While the pack was gone, TD laid paper from the same junction away in a different direction. Not great when you run a box, find a FT and know it can’t be that way because there was a circle check exactly there 5 minutes ago and no paper down the path towards the Ag Centre. Well there ffff was now and a sheepish hare standing by.
The trail turned into a wide track with overgrown field to left and wall to right. FRBs were coming back towards me complaining of a water hazard. ChackWao in particular was mumbling about not wanting to get his 900 THB trainers wet. I pushed on and yes there was a lake in the way. Luckily it wasn’t as deep as knee but it was ankle in some spots – and the shoes and feet got soaked.
Poo, BH, Knockout and Obscene were in the van with Sex Pistol going like Phar Lap out front. ChackWao rejoined us having avoided the lake but added yardage to his run he claimed.
At a check, Obscene went over 300m apparently to find paper and save us an extra 1.5km, much to the hare’s disgust. His loud shouts brought the pack on and we ran round a lake to a bastard gate covered in barbed wire. Obscene jumped it and incredibly HRA went at it, despite the sane among us finding a gap in the wire through the bushes 3m to the right.
A FT right and then a longish haul straight back to the A. The harassed hare appearing yet again on trail to fix paper and possibly put an On In after the FRBs had passed naturally.
Hamersley boys enlivened a circle well conducted by Knockout with Poo assistance. The arms and the plank reappeared and dear ChackWao brought the old fish pond for proper ice bath punishments and a good time was had by all not sat in it!
Quote of the day: I like a hash run to be crazy, not perfect run like some hashers want. You guessed it – the Turk strikes again!

Pamela’s 700th run… 700 is a serious commitment and deserves serious recognition! Congrats Pamela – Geisha will follow in a few weeks!

The birthday hares teamed up and we were running from near the football field in Sameong… – Near the football field had me intrigued – 100m before the football field? So we could be away from the excellent shelter in case it rained? So we could be closer to the loud music during the circle? At least we were closer to the excellent ononon buffet sponsored by the hares – thanks!

Sloppy Rod gave me a ride to the run, and we arrived just in time for the hare brief, although I didn’t pay much attention. We were set off along the road, and a circle had me circle guarding. A few comments about why I wasn’t out checking, but today I was conserving efforts – a 10k treadmill session in the afternoon nearly left me on the sofa! Why were they so slow checking? Finally it was called in the direction I would have gone and we were heading towards the familiar hills – this A site handcuffs the hares to some extent – at least we weren’t going up the steps…

Another couple of checks, and I was kicking them all out! Trotted along with Piggy for a while – he seemed to be conserving energies too. Turkish was walking… To be fair it was FUCKING hot! we followed the rubber wall (which now doesn’t have rubber), and a cross check. The trail headed uphill… Ack… It’s hot – do I really need to climb this hill again? Having not paid attention to the harebrief, I was told on trail that there was a beerstop. Fuckit, the beer up the hill is closer than the beer back at the A. It was a steep climb but a great spot for a beer check.

CW must have sprinted through, while the rest of us enjoyed the view and the beer. I got there with Spits Spunk, and newly named ‘On her knees’. A beer… A nice view… fuck me it’s hot… I was a tad unwell, and Piggy correctly punished me for it later! Time to head back for a beer at the A, and I made my own route. Definitely needed more than one shower when I got back. Hot season is kicking in!

Happy Birthday hares – thanks for the run, a different loop!

When I got up the pollution levels were still in the “yellow” range, so when they were still there at 2, I ruled out hashing and jumped on the treadmill instead. 10km later, and the pollution was still yellow, so I grabbed a beer and settled down for an evening at home. By chance I checked the PM levels again at 4, and they turned green. I was tired, so laid down on the sofa for half hour pondering whether to go or not. Finally dragged my ass out and got to the run site around 15 minutes late. It is always interesting doing a hash run differently, so when Lunglaa pointed the direction I wondered if I would see any hashers at all!

It was the standard ON OUT. I’d forgotten my watch, I’d forgotten my phone strap, and for some reason couldn’t get my phone to connect to GPS. I quickly saw TMB walking back towards me – she’d just set the ONIN, and scoldingly told me to ignore it and gave me a hint where the trail started. It would take some pretty amazing checks to let me catch up, and my legs were struggling to warm up again. My progress was hampered further at the next circle, when I couldn’t quite figure out how it had been kicked out. It seemed to be to the left, but after 100m there was no paper, so I went back, and spotted another small square that was more to the right, so I followed that one 100m or so, again nothing. I know all these trails join up a bit further on, but do I really want to gamble when I can’t hear anyone calling? I went back again, and this time found the trail heading straight up the hill along a smaller trail – they trails would have come together if I’d just carried on in the first place – not to worry, I wasn’t in a hurry. I was starting to feel for the hashers that have to follow the FRBs figuring out the checks again.

The trail headed up the main trail into the hills, and a flash of colour ahead, as I rounded the corner I saw a trio of harriettes! Was I already back in the pack? Nope, they were heading back towards me presumably finished with their foraging! I pressed on, but I knew I wasn’t going that fast. The trail headed right at another circle – another familiar trail that had me trying to guess how they would get back to the OnIn – looked like a fairly short run around the edge of the valley, I can do this! And then a nice check, where the trail turned abruptly left, and up. Bugger! This looks like we are going over the hill – Belly has done this before…

I was so tempted to peel off to the right… Nobody would know, nobody would care…. But without a working GPS, it wouldn’t be easy to figure out how far I’d gone. I pressed on, and it wasn’t long before I spotted Sheep Shagger and Happy Ending, carrying objects which are probably better described as boulders than rocks! That must make hashing harder! It was still up hill, so I took my time. I got to the “top” – it isn’t the top, but the trail has a clear left or right option. Last time I was here I gambled right, and lost a lot of time, this time, it had to be right both because I knew where the ONIN was, but also the paper was torn in that direction. Here Stumbling Dyke & a visitor jumped out of my way as if they thought they would be blocking an FRB – hah! It was downhill though, so I managed to get a bit of a jog going.

I came out into the valley the other side, past some small farmhouses. I was down to a walk, but then there was a straight stretch so I could see quite a way ahead, and there was Cumalot! A target! A reason to jog, something to work towards. I jogged as best I could on tired legs and slowly cut the distance, and as I did, I spotted another hasher just ahead of her. Finally I got close enough to have a chat, but then I found I was going backwards again – did she speed up? did I slow down? Damnit I was tired! And hot! Geez, I started noticing the heat. Running in aircon is easier!

The trail was good – a nice route, but the challenge was getting the better of me. It’s been a while since we did that route, but the only thing running through my mind was how they would get us back to the ONIN – even the shortest route involved another hill climb around the back of the mental asylum. I had set off determined to do the whole trail, but my body was sending me a clear message. When the trail hit the road, I knew where I was, and I knew where I was going. I was going back down the road. I saw Shagless and Pigshit walking back from a false trail, that hadn’t been marked well enough. Next time the trail hit the road, there was Cumalot again – I wished her well on the hill – she took a closer look a the direction the trail was headed, and promptly fell in behind me to short cut along the road. At the end I was spent…

The cohare (thesaurus boy) has given me a selection of words to include in the write up…. So here are somethings that nobody said about the run “sublime”, “sensational”, “insouciant”, “masterful”, “majestic” and “melifluous” (sic)! I guess we could say that KO was mellifluous in the circle, and she showed a degree of insouciance about the late return of a visiting hasher! At the Yummy Pizza ONONON, the thunderstorm and lightning was pretty majestic, sublime and sensational, while this write up is pretty masterful! 😉

Does Nothing stepped up to the plate to set a sensible challenge down the ‘6.3km road’ without naming it Ob Khan Rd. The sign at the turn had disappeared and there were no further signs til the Hex Shelter A bucket.
Oh uh. Hashers in a fainkle, slight panic stations..
Welcome two couples from Wan Chai H3 in HK, Tinbits and Spinky McHu(ex GM) plus Hopeless with Lost in Translation. All good runners and a nice touch to bring some award patches as gifts.
Luckily Turkey was on form so four shirts were sold and it was hare brief time.
White paper strips, circles and Vs ending in FT. Graven wouldn’t approve!
And we were off. Down the road and right towards the lakes. Trail basically followed the property in an anti cw direction with a loop right into the burnt woods. Would the hare take us further in and over the hills cw home? No! But he tried to find a trail that way when he scouted apparently. So we bashed on through the bare forest until we came out on a steep but wide path back out onto the main trail the other side, visitors leading the way plus LJO and TMB, fresh from the dentist’s soft voice and sensitive fingers. Mmm.
Back on the path, heading left towards OK Rd, DN tricked the FRBs with a sneaky thru the barb wire fence left turn that everyone missed due to sun and marking right side of trail previously. TNB screamed at Poo to stop and look but he was hard of hearing and came on. So she yelled louder and he ignored her more. A perfect couple.
Suddenly I was second behind LJO. We piled thru the wire and followed trail back to the junction where we’d come in originally. Apart from me, now mid pack, who checked left at the last circle, up and wrongly.
A decent 4.5km of nice trail well set. Good job hare and also new GM Knockout. A good start to your reign.

Welcome to the Chiang Mai Sunday Hash House Harriers (CSH3) – to avoid the songkran traffic a select group of hashers decided to run on Sunday. Missing out on church, Pussy Whisperer set the run with Blows Herself helping. I decided to head along late – it was Maejo afterall (although the website had removed the directions, I did check an email to make sure). Honestly driving to Maejo, I wasn’t sure if I would find hash signs or just head home again, but sure enough the group gathered by the small shelter on the way to the Tiger’s Head.

A small group, that was swelled slightly by the arrival of the Leaky Faucet clan as we set off on the run. The air did seem clearer, but it wasn’t long before I could taste the smoke, and I started questioning why I was there. The pollution is getting better, but my cough has come back again tonight… The first few checks were fun, and I was mostly near the trail for quite a while. The Maejo forest has such a network of trails that all interweave, and when Brownie and I got one wrong, it didn’t worry us, we looked at the old paper, carried on and found the Wimp trail, and then before you knew it we were back on trail. A couple of times I paralleled, indeed I spent most of the run, close to the trail…

That trail was devilishly sneaky – seriously good job from too fairly inexperienced hares – who taught you? V checks in the right places, and the checks had us all unsure – really good job. I got a lot wrong, and then a bit right, but the zig zags were devilishly good – I would be proud of that set! Finally I got one check so wrong the by the time it was called I was hacking my way up the wrong hill surrounded by shiggy. I assessed my options and none were good so I hacked my way in the general direction of the calls, only to find my way blocked by a couple of ravines. Navigating around I got to the wimp trail, went backwards and got to the split following most of the pack by now. Some more zigs and zags.

Finally I knew the trail had to head up the ridge line – there was no avoiding it (or was there?) The trail turned left, I turned right, and after 40m or so I paused, contemplating… I was tired, my lungs felt smokey, I knew the trail had to go up the hill, I knew I was recovering from 10+ days sickness after my last pollution run. Behind me Blows Herself called out wondering where I was going – was she lost on her own trail?

I opted to head back, and as soon as I found trail again, (cutting out a zig, or a zag), I found Leaky Faucet with a confused family. The hare brief had been precise, but no use if you missed it. They were very grateful to follow me back to trail. I avoided the hill, but promptly got the next couple of checks wrong, so got further behind anyway. Damn those hares cut it close with that trail. Very nicely done, but very risky too. The real FRBs came charging past as I walked my way back for a beer.

I sit at home coughing gunk out of my dry throat wondering why I would consider going running outside in the pollution… I did, and now I’m paying the price! I don’t recall using that runsite before, but of course we’ve run all around there, and it was a good spot, so no doubt we will use it again. I scanned the area trying to pinpoint exactly where we were, and when we set off I had my bearings. First check, I got a bit of an advantage and broke into a bit of a jog. 2nd check was tucked around the corner, but was it a double or triple cross? Cunning hares defeated me on that one, and I followed the pack up hill and around the corner to the left. A junction – lots of trails, but no check… Interesting, I slowed down and waited for a false trail, it didn’t come, at least not soon enough, but I guessed we’d be looping around the other side of the orchard, and maybe the hares were scared trails would be too close?

NOYB started nailing a few checks at the front with TMB until we got to the edge of the jungle, and they checked left and right, leaving the straight on trail for me. Another check and I was following KO and LJO along a nice little trail through the trees. A circle lead to an abrupt right turn, and down to a false trail. We scattered as KO and I were still cutting cross country towards the calls – it’s nice now it isn’t so overgrown anymore! I saw NOYB leading the pack up a gully one side of the hill, and knowing it had to break left, I edged up a slightly different angle, and promptly found paper, and Cumalot checking for trail.

We were back to the other side of the orchard as I expected, and I led the way along the edge to another circle. Straight would take us back too soon, so I went left, and sure enough found paper, and another check. The trail forked, it was left or right, but I figured I had enough time to cut across if I was wrong. I went right, but I was wrong, but also right as I cut over to the left and then was right. KO hot on my trail with Graven and Chuckie. The pace started speeding up.

A V-check and my trail headed off to a False Trail. A FT, not a CB, so TMB quickly sped past and led GI off to the right. Another check, and when TMB chose to go up to the right, GI, CW and I didn’t pause for a moment, and charged straight on and inevitably found paper. I sprinted past GI to get first pick at the next check, but when I turned right, GI yelled “Following”. CW hung back, trying to do the right thing, but knowing we were likely on. We were, and I was feeling strong. I breezed through another V check, and then out to the main trail with a circle. Right took me home, so I skipped around the corner. I’d gone about 50m, when I realised I had probably smurfed it, as the more likely way would be the otherside of the quarry to avoid the out trail. I did the 100+20m, no paper, so ran back to the circle. To my shock, the pack was passing by! I thought we were way ahead, but here was NOYB ahead of me?! Damnit!

CW called us ON, and sure enough we were going around the quarry, and surely now I had blown it? I rounded the corner, and saw CW looking confused up ahead, with a stream of hashers following behind him. He called the false trail just as I passed an opening to the right, leading towards the A site. I overtook NOYB but had to go 80m or so before I found the paper. Glancing over my shoulder when I called, there was Graven leading a gaggle of hashers to chase me down. Not today! Not today! One last circle, and there were 3 options, 20% / 60% / 20%, the odds raced through my head, and I picked the middle option. Sure enough there was paper, and I rounded the final corner with GI & CW right on my heels. There was the OnIn, and there were the cars, and the beers! Great run, a lot of fun… I just wish I hadn’t gone so fast and breathed in so much smokey air.

Today was Turkish Delight, and he picked around Ban Pong past San Kamphaeng – a place guaranteed to get complaints from everyone, to the north or the south! But really with the new road, it isn’t so bad, and when I got there, lots were milling around already. Milling around nervously sharing tales of previous TD fuck-ups! Nobody remembers the good runs, just the reasons he is known as a GM’s delight! A little heckling in the harebrief, but he was eager to set us off. We were part way along the lake, and he pointed us back towards the dam.

None of us had seen any paper on the drive in, so Graven and I lazily walked along the dam wall while Brownie followed the trail below – everyone scanning the distance, but not seeing anything. Finally we were called back down the road and then cutting onto a turkey run hacking our way to the left. There was a bit of a traffic jam, but better to be patient at this point, and soon enough we were on open trails. A good trail had us running smoothly until I spotted the main FRBs ahead looking confused. A glance to the left showed a False Trail hidden neatly on the back of a tree. The hare was definitely winning this battle as we turned back and followed Knock Out and Pussy Whisperer.

In my mind now we had 2 choices, around the lake, or back around the hill to the east of the lake – left or right. God Damn It, the hare was twisting us all up with the tight checks, keeping the pack close together. We headed towards a hill and I was gripped with fear, as there is no good solution from there. If we go up that hill, it is a brutal climb – I know – I’ve set it, with KO. But if we go up it we can’t go down the other side, we’d have to hack higher, and around to the left, and I know that hill is full of the kind of shit that Turkey might just decide to use… Damnit. I was worried! I was slowly making my way back towards the front, and the pack started coming back just to my left. There wasn’t much space there, and they weren’t far away!

I cut across and I was back in the game! Graven had shared some information – at an earlier check he had seen Turkish at the end of the dam – apparently he had seen the ONIN already. but having seen the hare there gave a lot away, and we had to be heading to the dam. Now the checks were starting to get easier – I’ve been here before. A circle check and first TMB comes back to check another way, I carried on, and saw Graven poking around, and Sups coming towards us down the main trail saying he hadn’t seen paper there. Sloppy was hacking his way through the hill on the right. I decided I didn’t want to go up the hill, so the only way I wanted to go back was skirting around the side of the hill. I did so, but went 150m or so before I found paper… I really wasn’t sure whether to call on, as I wasn’t sure if I’d missed part of the trail, or we could even have been on the out-trail – the trails were FFFFking close together!

I was right, and I was at the front. Another check, and it had to be left, but then there were 2 trails – I plodded along the right one, while Brownie and Graven charged along the flatter left one. I was right, but they weren’t going to go back, they were looking for the intersect, and sure enough after 100m the trails almost joined. I saw them, 10m to my left, charging along. I asked – are you on trail? Graven replied “I’m on a great trail!”, I asked, “is there paper?”, and the reply was “no…” Hmmmm… I guess I will follow the paper that turns away from your great trail then and leave you to run in to the out trail! I called ONON, that is all I could do… Chuckie followed, as did, the Lizzard! Chuckie had honourably done a ridiculous false trail up the hill, that nobody else even considered doing – he said it was 200m, it could have been 400m, nobody could validate the story! But he caught me as we crossed the small bridge at the other end of the dam, and there was the ONIN.

An excellent Turkey set! The pack was kept together, the checks were good! Dam good – looking at the map, the trail was very, very close on the way out and the way back, and I remember scanning the hill to the left, trying to spot paper, and didn’t. Good job!

How many co-hares does Alice need? Sheep Shagger was the nominated co-hare / paper carrier, so I was curious what they would put together. I’ve heard rumours that other hashers also had inside information about the route – in case we couldn’t figure it out? Even when half of Piggy’s trail was pulled down we managed to piece it together, it’s part of the fun!

I was interested what Alice would put together – I know the area pretty well, and remembered conversations about a route through a quarry that he planned to use there, so I thought I might have a clue – of course I didn’t and the trail didn’t go near said quarry! We set off before my hash cash duties were finished, so the walkers were all over the trail while I was still putting the money away in the car. I got to the first check while Brownie was up the hill to the right where we could see something papery, but it wasn’t trail. Instead TMB found paper and soon after a false trail down to the left.

Back to the right, and after another check Brownie got the false trail and I led the way briefly into the trees. We were clearly heading towards the road, and it seemed most of the run would be the other side of the road. I stayed high to the right looping around just in case he planned to take us back off to the right, but it was soon clear where we were headed. Brownie was up front and he wasn’t getting anything wrong. TMB was behind him, curiously sometimes getting it randomly wrong checking where nobody would think of going?! I settled into a following pace, f**k me it was hot!

I was gasping for breath, and I’m sure the pollution combined with the heat isn’t good for me, but I pressed on, in the mix, never at the front, just in the pack. Brownie was doing most of the work, until finally he got one wrong and TMB called us off to the left. I pulled the paper down, but clearly wasn’t delivering the teutonic accuracy in my paper distribution, “TO YOUR LEFT BYTE!” huh? To my left there was a big hole, and I’m just heading towards the call. Everyone will figure it out!

Graven took over at the front for a bit, not for long. We were heading back towards the A, and it was hot. There was a circle, and I really didn’t want to go over the exposed hill, so I checked to the left, and ended up checking my way all the way around the hill, and was faced with the choice of rejoining trail to the right or to the left. Knowing what the hare had done I chose the path of least resistance and rejoined to the left, tucking in behind the running Brownie, 3.5, TMB and Graven. From here we were amongst the walkers, so I have no idea if there were any more checks… It was just a straight on jog home.