Category Archives: CSH3 – Write Ups

Alice teamed up with BH out in Doi Saket. Home turf for me, so after not running outside in August, I ventured out into the heat. It is nice running in aircon.

A modest crowd showed, and slightly late we were set off without the GM in sight. We scrambled to the start of the trail, and then I ran out of paper until someone spotted a circle check randomly placed on a tree to the left. I was wrong, but it was early doors so I jogged along and got another check wrong, meeting up with some dogs, before an on call to my left. I cut across and with another check I got one right headed for the Chinese graveyard. We hit a series of 50/50 V checks, but I lucked out, and was going well till I hit a FT. I came back and was still in position for the true trail.

This was a familiar area, but it wasn’t clear yet if we’d be going clockwise or anticlockwise. My hunch said to head for the road and the other half of the trail would be back on the other side of the canal, perhaps using the trail people had missed on Alice’s last run. I was right (for now), and opened up the legs to find Alice with a single can of beer to share between the pack. I carried on, and got a couple of checks right before hitting another false trail. I was impressed, they’d gone deeper to the East. The next couple of checks screwed me over – excellent work hares! One I went left when it should have been straight, the next I went straight when it should have been left! Damnit – maybe I think too much.

Sheepshagger passed at one of those checks and then Chuckie joined me. Somewhere around there the heat got to me again. I started retching. Chuckie decided not to wait, and the other FRBs past by. I tried pressing on, but eventually had to collapse. Sex Pistol and Knockout arrived and poured water over my head, and after a few minutes I started to recover. Damn this heat – I’ve got to figure out a way of coping, or its back to the treadmill.

We started heading back towards the A, and the leaders were well ahead until a sneaky last FT that screwed everyone up. For some amazing reason, nobody considered looking for trail dropping straight off the side of a fucking cliff. This wasn’t a Belly Dancer hill, this was the cliff edge of a quarry. The hares said “we’ve done worse” – mhmmm… Apparently there were trees that people could swing off. I opted out and ran around the quarry picking up trail as we crossed back over the canal and got to the OnIn a bit ahead of CW. Nice route – just get a bit more aircon next time, or some more ladies to shower me with water!

The Turk excelled himself last Saturday with an excellent set that showed would be hares the standard to aim for.
It was either Turkish or HRA who promised virgin trails in the email. What! Down Ob Khan Rd, my arse! I got to thinking – if they really are unhashed trails he’s got to go miles down and half way to Burma!
When Saturday came we headed to the empty quarter A site and then up the freshly graded and prepped road to Turkish’s A on the corner.
Ok, no virgin trails here, know the area like the back of my wanking hand. But I was interested to see what the Anatolian haberdasher would come up with.
Off we went thru an orchard and out onto a trail heading towards the hills. But would we go up or around the quarry and across the road perhaps?
At a familiar juncture we went left from a circle and up a narrow trail towards a gated property. We missed the narrow path I know up into the doi and headed towards the gate. Nice one, a sneaky almost invisible path up right onto the foothills and n
broken ground.
Having enjoyed a natter with Frozen and a brief word with Sups I push on and caught Sticky, Tiptoe, Stumbling and a few others as we ascended over rough ground towards the forest.
A check ahead and Shagless was runnjng right. Then coming back. Confusion ahead and the FRBs only 20m ahead.
So up left we went and presently popped out on the ridge trail at a familiar and popular circle site. So that’s where the path comes out! Byte ran down there on one of my runs a few years ago off paper and ended up lonely in the field below even further from paper!
Turkey took us to the next main junction. Where it had to be left, 90% chance. FMDD Chacky, Tasty and Sheepy come running back from the right as a group. Half the run and I’m up with the leaders while walking!
Up along the ridge and checks in the usual places but then an OnOn that led to no path down I knew. I told anyone who’d listen and I was right.
We all dropped off the edge of the hill and descended a treacherous gravel hillside with sparse trees for stopping falling hashers. My hip wasn’t happy at this turn of events.
At the bottom things were complicated by a. Turkish trickery B. farmer in truck pulling down paper!
From here the day caught up with Sex P and Sheepy and I caught them again and the returning Pig Shite. How would we exit the property?
Turkey took us up a well hidden path thru the woods to the round reservoir above the orchard. Well that was a clever link.
The way home was clear,but Turkey had tricks up his sleeve galore with a switchback check the wrong side of a secure looking fence and a rolling new trail through an upgraded property.
Happy to get home, hip intact and 6km under the belt. FRBs had a km more. What a belter of a run. Unusual for anyone to surprise me in an area I know pretty well with 2 or 3 devious cut throughs I’d not found or forgotten as they been blocked over time.
Welcome Adam and Savanna visitors from Utah, Anyone’s son and welcome back ol’ foul mouth herself, Blows Herself. Wings for Alice and Anyone. OnOnOn to Yummy Pizza. Eggelen.
Alice

(Courtesy Alice)

Decisions, decisions. Lanna or CSH3 hared by these glam harriettes?
KrapThai, Belly and I Got Gas doing their worst in the wilds or a sensible Saturday stroll with a bad hip for company? That took about 2 seconds to decide!

So on the songthao to Pamela and GG’s opulent mansion. How the other half live eh!
Hey, Horny Monkey was there looking trim and well and Robert the Spurs man.
Alice set off 5 min after the pack as he searched in vain for his missing iPhone holder. I could hear shouts but couldn’t find paper as I exited Geisha’s rear entrance.

Into the sparse forest and across the road went the trail. I was miles behind just following paper alone. An instructive experience.
Once into the forest for real the paths went gently up and the trees hemmed in. Greenery all around, stony paths, clear paper markings and circles and Vs already done. Forest silence apart from the birds and the crunch of footfall. What more could a man ask for? Chilly Pussy and SweetPea off trail and rooting. For mushrooms.

After 2 plus Km I spy Robert walking back against trail -strange – then ducking down a cut back path. Confused I yell RU? He quickens his pace then runs away with Anyone in yellow top appearing to lead him deep into the forest off trail. Wtf, he may lose his spotless reputation. Plus it looked like an insider’s short cut. It was.

Suddenly paper after 120m at the bottom of a hill and Musk Rat and ABB bouncing down from my left. I was mid pack and surrounded by humanity, poor excuses of it, but I was back in the mix.

Trail twisted and wound through the forested hills, I met Sups and SB here, then out behind the Night Safari and the longish flat asphalt yomp home, my Decathlon trainer squeaking along with ABB’s just behind me.

Strangely the girls had ‘forgotten’ to place ANY checks for the last 2.5Km. Someone suggested they’d been chatting and as we know women can’t multi task so…
All in, a lovely route and well papered, overpapered in sections, where half a dozen strips marked the same number of meters. What was going on? We’ll never know but it was a top trail to hike.
Many thanks to the three hare ladies and Pamela and Geisha for graciously hosting. Chacky and Tasty stole the wings by common consent and the rain gods showed their righteous disapproval.
On on, Alice

This pairing have hared together before and I remember gruelling punishment. This was an outstation, so I was wondering whether they had learnt from previous comments?! We were up in Chiangrai, at a great resort – much better than recent outstations! It was sweltering! I have a habit of getting ready and setting off for the hash at 4pm, and did so even though it meant walking 100m to the hare’s cabin. I sat down in the shade for 15 mins, but was drenched in sweat – we hadn’t even started the exercise yet, it was so humid, in a pre-storm kind of way. I went back for a pre-run shower.

Finally we were set off and I jogged off with Chuckie – as we were hares for the hangover run, we were aware of the start of the run, but only the first check. I promptly got the 2nd one wrong and a group including HRA, Obscene and Just Cumming was formed. Time for a false trail before the first wimp/rambo split. I picked rambo and led the pack down through a tree plantation – rubber? teak? I heard different opinions. Another check and HRA found the trail just about the same time I saw some paper just ahead of me too. Turns out my paper was from a check back at a later V, which I promptly also got wrong.

HRA was setting the pace as we went through a stretch without checks and rejoined the wimps, who by now were ahead. Just Cumming was running well, and CW took off to chase them down. I past the trail of walkers and for a moment forgot about the heat as I tried to get back with the runners. Finally a beer stop and we regrouped. A circle check had the FRBs exploring all over. I poured cold water on my head in the hope of cooling down. It wasn’t working. I ambled along the street a little and then spied a flash of white up a steep steep cliff. Man that was a climb – just the 100m to the paper. I called “ONON”, and made it another few steps before vomiting, and collapsing in a patch of shade. Damnit, I can’t deal with the heat… :'(

Everyone passed me by and reluctantly I gave up and went back down to the beer stop. I was told it was also the 2nd wimp/rambo, but the hares had already set off the ladies and Shagless up the hill. I walked back along the road, and met up with Sups and Burrito Butt. Not much further there was a 2nd beer stop where the runners would come off the mountain. No sign of the runners, but the trail where they would emerge looked as steep as they way up. I walked on back on trail, and CW finally caught me just before the ONIN. He was fuming about the hill! It seems the hill didn’t go down well at all – from what I heard it was hands and knees scrambling up under bamboo, with no trail in sight. I haven’t heard HRA curse as much as he did when he came in delivering a tirade of “FUCKS” and “EVIL”.

I am thankful I ended up missing the worst bit, because most of what I did was quite pleasant!

(Courtesy Alice)

Birthday girl Always on Top and co hare-cum-paperboy Does Nothing set a bijoux 6 km hash run out in the wilds of Mae Jo from the dam just past the Tiger Head.
In damp conditions, the colorful pack started off downhill to the left into the forest. Returnee TMB led the way with Sex Pistol, Sheep Shagger, Turkey, Knockout and HRA in the van. After five minutes and a check or two we came out by the famed Tiger Head. I eyeballed the fearsome beast – but enough of ABB I hear you cry.
Trail headed right into the forest and we paralleled the road. A series of checks had us guessing. Each check had three options and I was waiting for the right turn further into the forest and stupidly advised KO so.
Straightaway On was called to the left and we skiddadled down the road and headed left towards the weir. BMY put a check here once that cost me dear. It had to be right and across the now watery concrete weir. It was. Wet shoes, wet concrete and slime made a hard job of getting up the other side for a few of us. Turk assisted me and in turn I, Cumalot (despite her Man U socks) and Obscene.
HRA simply let out a bellow charging up the slope and left his family to their fate. Sadly I forgot that indiscretion come circle time.
We were on muddy trails going anti clockwise and my ankle decided to give way twice. Then I went down after tripping on a root. Next misadventure was checking bravely along a down-trodden path into a horridly overgrown but possible field. Those guarding the circle ran off after the far On On call and left me without yelling for me to hear. I know you you are and I won’t forget it.
Trail dipped into thicker forest and turned left onto familiar trails. ABB had used these recently although not with as much visible white paper.
A sharp left and we were rolling homeward on a long stretch of sodden red gravel and clay. Just Coming and the Turk were ahead of me, ABB behind. Glimpses of pink and yellow told me TMB and Sexy were powering home. The long stretch turned to blacktop and a rise up to the dam.
Strava told me well marked 6.1km and TMB had an extra .5km from her checking efforts. The pack ambled home in short order compared to some recent runs, that’s what clear paper does for mid and back pack runners and riders.
Well done AOT for a decent set in known territory, an eminently followable trail with well placed visible circles and Vs.
Somehow HRA and Doesn’t Get It got the wings. The UNCHR will be alerted to the terrible miscarriage of justice.
OnOnOn gratis buffet at Euro Diner courtesy of the hares was absolutely fabio and very much appreciated. On on, Alice

Sex Pistol teamed up with Sheep Shagger, but he didn’t want anything to do with the run, denying any responsibility! The disco shelter stinks these days, the muddy entrance and surroundings becoming a trash dump, who knows what the mattress in the corner has been used for! At least we were protected if it rained, although rain earlier in the day had turned the approach into slush.

We set off and most of us had already seen the first circle, as we’d parked on the road and turned our cars right by it. CW and I discussed this, and neither of us had carried on along the road to look for paper. I wasn’t sure where he was going with that, because surely he could also see the paper dangling in the distance? Apparently not, as I was the only one who carried on along the road. I got the next check right as well – I suspect the wind and rain probably moved the discretely hidden paper and made it more visible. Straight along the road, how much further? Another check, just after the junction, so of course I went back and there was trail finally heading off the road towards the hills.

The checks were coming thick and fast, but I was still going well. A circle leading towards a false trail that I should have seen coming. I chased back to the front in time for the next circle. Possibilities to the right, but I pegged straight up to a strange V check. There was a natural V in the trails (hmmm… are trails really natural?) – but the V wasn’t there, instead it had one option going up a nice trail, and another option going straight up the side of a shiggy, shitty hill. I didn’t fancy that, but going straight I finally found a checkback stuck vertically on the back of a tree – wtf??? Back to haring school!

Instead of using the nice trail up the hill, we were forced into a shitty, shiggy scramble over steep, rocky, overgrown terrain. It wasn’t fun. The rains made it slippier, and ugh! We leveled off and then headed back down the otherside to the left – no trails, just a blind hack through. Back down the bottom, in a river bed there was another check, and a group decided to just stand and loiter while others started to scatter. I checked the wrong way twice before Chuckie called it from just up the gully. Again we went into another scramble climb – seriously the hares had done an impressive job of missing trails. These hills are crisscrossed all over with great running trails, but we were just hacking around and around, and up and up.

I walked, rapidly losing interest. Finally we hit trail for a short while and I could run for a bit, and caught up to the pack at a circle on the ridge line. There were a few calls of checking, but I was way behind Chuckie, surely he would have found it by now. There was no paper hanging at the circle, so where had it been laid? Nope, Tainted Turd was guarding the check and letting everyone else do the work. I started making my way towards where there is a concealed trail off to the left, and just as I got to hanging off the hill there was an ON call from right at the circle. FS! If you get to a circle, LEAVE THE PAPER THERE!!! Go and check, if you find the trail call ONON and someone else will lay the paper for you – that isn’t your job! You don’t have to find trail and lay the paper! It is a team game! Definitely don’t take the paper to go checking and then go back to the check when you find the trail, because then everyone else has to go even further checking in the wrong direction. Surely the hare brief doesn’t have to cover common sense?

Somehow I was back in the mix, with the pack back together. I ran out of the hill to another circle with TT right on my tail. I turned right, and within 30m wished I hadn’t. I knew where I was, and would hit the out trail, but I’d picked that option, so I had to run it out while TT did the other way. Except he didn’t. After going 120m or so the wrong way, I turned back to see him still just stood at the check, and heard him calling “ARE YOU?”. What the fuck was he waiting for? I lost it, to hell with this shitty trail and to hell with putting effort in. Next time maybe we all just sit and wait at the circle for someone else to solve it for us. I jogged back up to the circle, and saw the pack scrambling (again) up a steep back, and thought, screw this, I’m going back. Why do I do this again?

Oh Canada! We showed up down at Shagless’s love cabin way down the canal road for a Canada themed run. Happy Birthday Canada. The hare brief wasn’t, but finally we were set off into a lamyai orchard behind the house. Sex Pistol called the first piece of paper, and then was lost. I spotted the 2nd piece, but then was lost. Turkish got the 3rd, but then was lost. It wasn’t easy until Obscene hit the front and perhaps his lower angle let him see under the trees for a bit. Finally when it opened out a bit I ran on to the first check. I doubted it would be right – the hares had been giving clues away with their arm movements during the harebrief, plus we’d driven in closeby. I turned left… After 90m or so I thought I could see something up at the junction, so continued to around 130m, and sure enough there was one marking. One marking and nothing else…

I didn’t call, but had a look to the left, nothing, to the right, nothing… HRA came up and called the rest of the pack over. I wasn’t sure if we’d short cut, and we carried on looking around. Finally Turkish found the red and white paper the other side of the klong to the left. He was off! For about 10m before again we were hunting around. Nada. Finally the hares appeared on a bike back at the junction. A variety of arm gestures gave us a hint, and after 300m or so running off paper I finally found a pile of screwed up markings in the bushes next to the trail. Sabotage!

At least we were back on track, but doubting ourselves after the early markings. We could have done with more paper, but perhaps someone living nearby liked cleaning up? Another check and I went straight on. 100m, nothing… But that didn’t necessarily mean anything. There had been a canal on the right, so it was likely to be left, and the trail I was on bent around to the left, and then hit a road. I turned left doing a big loop around. Turned left into a field, and then finally thought I could see something in the distance to the right. People were calling from all over, lots of confusion as we were all still checking. I intercepted trail and headed backwards until I saw some hashers. I’d gone the long way around, but the pack was back on track. Moments later again we were “Looking” as we went through some Lamyai trees abruptly switching directions.

Finally out of the farmland and into an abandoned moobaan. I hit a circle check with Sex Pistol not far behind. This was definitely a classic ABB ‘back check’, and sure enough Sex Pistol and I were back on trail. Around a corner and another check. So many options this time, but I picked straight, left, right and there was paper. Onwards and around to the left another circle. The check was drawing me towards the left, but I had time on my hands so went back to the junction to go straight and sure enough more paper! More paper leading to a farmer and his wife who begged me to be quiet as we passed a herd of buffalo resting in a shelter to the right. The pack moved to hand gestures rather than calling for a while as we past by only to find another circle just yards from the beasts!

Silently we checked and finally Knock Out called us on and she was leading the way with Obscene as we crossed a creek with Shagless’s DIY rope swing. The GM and the youngster were running ahead as a team. At junctions they were sticking together, at the next check they stuck together, and when they found paper they stuck together, silently… Devious, but we could all see what they were doing. Another check and then I spotted the hares stood in the distance. The GM of course ignored the trail and short cut (along with Obscene dutifully following). She also ignored the beer stop! WTF??? What kind of an example is that for the GM to set? Free beer, but your racist spirit got the better of you?!

I continued with Sheep Shagger for a while following the front two and we had another dodgy crossing to pass, before going round in circles at the crematorium. We were surely getting close to home but again we ran out of paper. A good 150m with nothing, but I was the lucky one that picked up trail to the right. On to a lake, and as we passed a junction I spotted paper off to the left and figured I’d go take a look. 2 sides of a lake are much the same, and I went back to rejoin the pack. One more dodgy crossing and finally the OnIn. Nice job hares, shame someone messed with your trail.

We drove to the edge of eternity… and where I say we, I mean my chauffeur drove me – damn it is nice having someone drive for you! The runsite looked a bit different from last time we were here. Hare brief said wimp rambo split, but then ended with a further wimp option? According to the hares it was a “wimp” and “wimper”, but sounded like there was a “wimpiest” too? Not sure any of the trails deserved to be called ‘wimp’ – get off the couch and come for some exercise and you aren’t a wimp.

We weren’t 100% sure as we set off – down to the road and turn right… which road? Finally after a few hundred metres we saw paper, and promptly a circle check. A visitor from Myanmar was enthusiastic at the front, double checking the “rules” for this hash. He tagged the most obvious option, so CW and I made the most feeble effort of checking in hash history as we stood around the corner waiting for the call. Luckily the check was short, and we quickly caught up.

Second check, and I was wrong. Right and wrong is mostly a boolean distinction – either right or wrong… it doesn’t really allow for how wrong someone might be… At this point my hash mixed up with some dogs as I checked left (and wrong). I didn’t hear any calls, just yapping and barking. My road seemed to be bending around to the right, towards where the other options were, so I went much further than I should have before turning back. When I saw the circle again, it was kicked out, and I was way, way behind. Way, way behind…

I jogged on for a while and it was sometime before I finally saw Shagless ahead. And then No Hope. Eventually I met the foragers who made little disguise about their main reason for heading out on trail. The trail broke right and narrowed as I joined a pack of walkers, dropping down into a gully before climbing steeply back out. The trail was headed to the right, but nothing certain yet. Pretty sure we could have stayed on trail, headed to the next junction and turned right, but hashers can’t object to some shiggy!

Finally free and able to run I found myself following Cumalot, always a pleasure! At last we were running through the jungle like free spirits, or perhaps she was just running away from me and I was chasing her through the forest like some pervert. There was paper, we were running… there was no paper, we were still running… it was joyous! And then we realised we weren’t on paper and we were alone in the jungle with nobody nearby…. So we did what any normal person would do and carried on another 20m or so and found paper again.

It was paper, but took some deciphering. We knew we weren’t at the front, but weren’t sure what was happening. I went backwards for a while and found the arrows marking the W/R rejoin – We hadn’t even got to the W/R split! I turned back and Does Nothing & Mr PP had left Cumalot alone in the forest. There was the option to just head back, but I suggested doing the right thing so now Cumalot was chasing me through the forest! Should I let her catch me?

We caught Sups & SB as they hand in hand took the W option. We jogged steadily on the R route, and caught up with Poo, and then No Hope (again). Poo reassured us he was fine, he was just taking it steady… More on Poo later… We had no chance of getting back with the group, but I jogged on regardless, catching several groups several times. Richard? was convinced I was doing the run 4 times as I kept passing him – sorry sir, you were just being much more efficient than me! Another little temple on a hill – down the slope around the corner and we were home. Most of us… One found it a bit trickier and Poo in his effort to take it easy came in well after everyone else from the wrong direction – hopefully he recovers quickly enough.

Yet another Alice run, this time teaming up to help train Mr. PP as a new hare. Alice puts a lot of work in, and lucky for me this time he was out in Doi Saket. Terror Byte wanted to come along today, so we set off a little early to try and find a shelter for a run I’m setting soon. We arrived to find a packed runsite.

Harebrief done we were pointed off as Sups just arrived. I walked off at a brisk pace, trying to warm my legs up. My legs were definitely still feeling the effects from Thursday’s efforts – I tried commanding them to run, but they told me to fuck off. At least today wouldn’t involve much in the way of hills, but I wasn’t feeling overly confident! Obscene and a visitor ran off and then stopped to take photos at the first check. I used that to my advantage nailing the small trail off to the right. Another check, and this time I wasn’t quite right, but it was easy enough to hack through the trees to paper. Obscene was running hard, and putting us all to shame.

Out to the canal, and the pack were lured to cross the canal. I’d seen Alice’s photos posted from scouting on facebook, and he had put some clear / obvious ones from the other side of the canal… I second guessed his double bluff and headed up the road to the left. Sure enough there was paper – not on the road, but just to the side of the road. Another check and I got there a bit ahead of HRA. I went left, knowing there were limited trails if we carried on straight. I was wrong, and found myself chasing back again. Fortunately just ahead HRA couldn’t spot paper as it switched from left to right of the road, and we regrouped to some extent. We turned into an abandoned moobaan, and another circle on the road.

Obscene again nailed it, but I’m not 100% sure we were correct. The trail was “suspicious”, randomly appearing in shiggy avoiding the roads? It turned up and to the edge of a quarry, with another circle check. From here it could have been back to the road – there were plenty of options. The first choice would be right along the side of the quarry, and NOYB & Sloppy took that option. Obscene was poking around in the quarry. Sex Pistol headed after him. CW and I stood debating our options, after watching NOYB go well past 100m. We started heading into the quarry as well, and after a while finally heard NOYB calling us on. WTF? It couldn’t be? He had gone probably 200m before he found trail coming in from the side – he must have known he wasn’t right, but was too lazy to go back and do it properly. When we caught up, we knew something was wrong, but a decent sized group were already off and running. Problem was, nobody knew where they were running to! There was a V check with potentially 3 different options (as we had all short cut to get to it)… First both ways were called as false trails, then both were called on! Confusion reigned and the pack was completely split up.

I found myself running along with Sex Pistol – her talking about how simple her trail had been on Thursday (Up and down the hill), while my legs were arguing that her trail was nothing like simple! We were on roads through an abandoned Moobaan before randomly hitting shiggy for no good reason but to connect to more road. Out to some rice fields and I knew where I was again. Neat connect and finally a bit of trail. Some confusion ahead, and again I hit the front when they came back presumably from a false trail. KO got iced for telling me I was going the wrong way when AGAIN the hares had randomly drifted off trail into trailless shiggy. We got to another quarry and ran along the side of it to another circle check. I was reaching my limits.

CW went straight but didn’t find anything, even though he was right. I went right with Sloppy and found nothing. Nothing was called for a long time, so I did a very, very large arc around hoping to intersect paper at some point. I did, rejoining the pack at a circle. A decent sized pack was still together, so maybe these checks were working as intended? I trailed NOYB for a while, knowing we were closing in on home, and knowing he knew we were closing in on home, and knowing he knew that I knew that we were closing in on home, and knowing that he knew that I knew that he knew we were closing in on home, and knowing he would use whatever he had in his young legs to “win”. A final V check, and with Chuckie wrong to the left, Sex Pistol led the youngster towards the closing part – the only question was where the ONIN might be…

NOYB bursted off after Sexy, but he’d shot his load too soon. I caught both as the trail rounded the corner into the field and with the A buck just a few hundred metres away we were all looking for the ONIN. Feet pounding behind me, NOYB couldn’t resist a giggle as he sprinted past me again – these youngsters who can manage a second spurt so soon after the first! But sadly again, he climaxed too soon and was short lived as he nearly collapsed in despair when there was no ONIN yet, and again the old man managed to slip past and get to the beer first.

Drove to the end of the canal road looking forward to a Mr. Poo special, only to find that power crazy Knock Out had locked him up in the sauna, stolen his paper and usurped him. The hare brief was heavy on thoughts about Poo, and light on information about the trail! We were pointed off and the run was started. Graven would have hated the first check – within yards from the A site – “Checks are there to bring the pack together”, but this just separated us from the start. I went back through the A, but the hare blocked me. At the next check a kindly monk pointed me in the right direction and we headed for the forest.

At the corner of the wall, I turned left, expecting from this runsite to use more of the forest behind the temple, and was surprised how slow it was called. I was wrong, and back at the back of the pack. Hash style! I picked a casual pace as I tried to get back into the pack. At the next few checks I got to the check as they were called, so could just focus on following the FRBs. Then there was a call to the right and I decided to try and chase down Spitz Spunk and his virgin. It was gently downhill, but they were putting some pace in – even though the virgin was carrying a complete survival pack – probably 30kg, tent? overnight kit? WTF?!

At the next check Spitz was spitting, but the virgin was full of energy. Luckily for CW and I, the harebrief had given no clues about hash etiquette, so the pair of them headed straight on for some alone time in the forest. We turned left and sure enough found paper. Another check and I went right, sending CW left… As soon as I’d past the check I regretted my decision – left there brings in more possibilities. Nonetheless, I found paper, and found myself at the front of the pack. Sloppy not far behind and Turkish in the mix too. From here I nailed a bunch of checks. HRA must have been there too as I remember him saying he wanted to check the way I went. I kept the pace steady.

Things were going ok, and I got to a check with Sloppy and rucksack boy right behind. It was a 95% right for me, but noted a new fence erected further blocking our hashing options. I jogged down to the next junction and on paper was joined by rucksack boy. Bear in mind the guy is carrying 30k plus – this isn’t the same league as Sheep Shagger’s rock foraging and it isn’t the same as Pigshit’s crazy back strengthening regime, this is 30kg for the sake of it. “I like punishment” he says…

It was 50/50… Probably we were on roads from here, but there was a chance of some trail if it went right. I sent him left, and went right. I checked 100m+ and then around to the right – nothing… and then around to the left… nothing…. HRA was sure it must be there somewhere… I turned back as there was no call from the left, only to see rucksack boy! I said “Didn’t you check the other way?”, he said “Yes!”, I said “Did you find paper?”, he said “Yes!”, I said, “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!” but I may have used more expletives. It was about then that Sloppy called from several hundred meters away. I was way back, way, way back. I was so tempted to just cut down to the trail, but took my punishment and grumbled my way back to the check and rucksack boy just sprinted off.

It was pretty flat, and pretty obvious from here, we just had to get back, but I was too far back to get back into it. Within moments of getting back to the A bucket, the circle was being called… In case of rain? Well where was the shelter?! Thanks KO for stepping up and filling in for Poo. The run was a good workout, with checks that kept the pack turning over – and a couple of checks that foxed me.