Category Archives: CSH3 – Write Ups

Photos courtesy of Taste My Buns

Photos courtesy of Taste My Buns!

Super Bitch – 1,000 Runs… Wow – more runs than any other female in Thailand, and clearly our 2nd highest in Chiang Mai. I’m sure Belly could fill in some more statistics, but today was an historic, memorable run for that alone.

Chilly Pussy teamed up with Anything for the run, and I really enjoyed it. It was a runner’s run. Fast tempo. It definitely could have had some more checks, but I grumble about that more when I lose the FRBs. Today I set off strong and nailed the first few checks. Good kudos to Pigshit for checking the false trail on the V check when he must have known I was on true trail. I guess he was confident that he would catch me sooner or later, and of course he did.

The heavens opened and we all got soaked, but it cleared up nicely by the time we finished the run. The run was a nice set – ideal for the occasion. All the ladies seemed to produce food for after the run too.

Congrats to Super Bitch. How about 2,000?

Guarantee a good write up, by the hare running home and scribbling some notes:-

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A thank you from Alice the hare to Yanksoffalot for excellent scouting last Sunday and Does Nothing for his sterling efforts today setting the run thru the hottest hours of the day11:15-14:00….

Huge qudos to the FRBs Slopps, Graven and HRA for coming home in 55 mins as Does Nothing bet me they’d be in after the 60 min mark, and I erred on the side of rampant athleticism and competitive streaks! Never in the field of human achievement has a combined age of 160++ covered so much ground so fast and gracefully….ish.

Sorry I forgot to mention use of Belly’s square white plastic back check sign, BMY didn’t see it and lost vital yards and seconds on those checking left up the path into the doi.
Was shocked to see Shagless, Dead Virgin and Baldrick emerge on the W in-trail after 30 measly minutes but they refound the R trail and did the whole jobby. Nice work lads.

Taste my Buns and HRA shared immortal glory with the virtual wings and Poo and BMY traded funny insults over going AWOL and stand in GMship. Turkish was so happy to first runner in but as DN observed, “First runner to run the whole walkers’ trail!”

Karaoke with Knockout and Cumalot at Baan Suan Him Doi was the icing on the aural cake and
all part of the rich experience.

Enjoyed the labour, the company and the comments…mostly!
On on,
Alice

Today Humps teamed up with Shagless, but openly confessed that Shagless did all the work for the run – was it trying to remove responsibility before we even set off?

I set off running, and I guess Belly was really hungover as he didn’t do his usual early stages sprint, to the point I was confused as I was completely on my own. A “V” check, I guess left. I went 400-500m and then got a check back. This was strange… It was a small check back – not completely clear, but far too far from the check. After some confusion and regrouping it turned out I’d missed a 2nd V check.

Problem solved and we carried on. Graven & Chuckie leading the way with me, NOYB and Taste My Buns. Not leading I fell into a groove leaping ditches and finding my way through orchard trees. There was a brief moment when trail was lost up front. NOYB solve the problem calling on on from around the corner along the road – only he didn’t, because there was no check and we’d just headed off paper for someway, essentially shortcutting. Not a big problem for us, but Dogshit someway behind and Alice & Jacksoffalot didn’t get the benefit of the short cut, only getting checks that weren’t kicked out.

It happens. Next check, I got it right, and I’m running well. Circle check – I went right and along the canal. Too far… I turned back and Belly was calling onon having short cut across. What to do? I was so tempted to carry along the canal, and had I done so, I would have hit trail about another 20m. Instead I went back and around in a circle. Lots of technical hashing – jumps & balances. After 30 mins we hit the OnIn – the groan from NOYB behind me was the groan of a boy that believed he could have beaten his Dad if the trail had been a bit longer. It would have been longer had he not lead the mass short cut.

The run was quite ok considering the conditions, but my highlight of the night was the 16 year old “None Of Your Business” asking the veteran Superman quite openly & frankly in a restaurant at the OnOnOn whether he still regularly masturbates.

We were warned. I could probably finish the write up there – “We were warned” – that probably sums up the whole experience… But the effort that must have gone into scouting and setting that probably warrants a few more words.

It was a select crowd of elite, adventurers who arrived at 4:30 for the advanced start time. Photos taken to give to local police if they needed to search for the remains of our bodies. There was me, Footlong, None of Your Business, Knockout, Turkish Delight and Shagless and after the harebrief we saw Graven & Robin Banks pulling in to the carpark. It turned out some more set off from the songthaew later, but they may join this story later…

We set off, and I was eager to get some running in before the inevitable climbs. The first check was a monster though, setting the tone… I’d gone well over 100m and turned back, but eventually we found it. Turkey set off with Noyb following in the wrong direction at the next check. Turkey was doing a great job of staying at the front, though seldom being on paper. A couple of long false trails divided us again, but we were together (with Graven) by the Graven check. So far so good.

I got that check wrong, and lost some ground as we started up a short ascent. Coming back from checking the wrong way cost me some ground so I was still behind as the trail turned left and climbed up. Still it was trail. It leveled out, but with rocks and a narrow trail, I kept walking briskly, figuring I’d have a chance later. Sadly, I guess I lost ground here, and heard nothing from ahead, just Shagless from behind. Again we turned abruptly left and climbed a steep, steep cliff. There was a trail, but I couldn’t figure out who might have created it – it was a big struggle, steep, steep steep. Up ahead I could see Knockout panting, but I felt like while I was getting closer to them physically, I was still losing ground temporally – it was steep. When I breached the “top”, it wasn’t the top at all, and there was no one to be seen or heard.

The trail continued clinging suicidally to the edge of a steep drop. The kind of trail that is 3 inches wide with steep cliff up and down, left or right. I was on my own, and struggling. If I could have found a way out at the point I would have taken it. There was no option, just press on. I inched my way along clinging from rock to rock. Angry Inch breezed past, Shagless caught and left me, Pigshit was polite enough to stall for a while, but found my pace depressingly slow and did his best to make sure the trail was well marked for me behind.

Time passed, and I seemed not to be moving despite my efforts. Humperdick & Crap Thai caught me and then flew away from me (when they heard Knock Out was up ahead!). Finally the peak. Finally down hill. I was spent, I just had to figure the daylight time I had left and the distance I still had to go, and whether I could make it out alive – and not be reminded of 4 years back. Luckily I got to the lake by 6:30 (only 2 hours for 7k), and I was safe. Unlike Cougar & Car Park, who were returning in the darkness deep into the circle. I was far too knackered to run a good circle.

Turkey’s redemption! As I drove out to the runsite – 10km into the Sameong road – I was thinking about the Ball Breaker… Same area, same hare… Presumably today was going to be trail discarded from the BB, i.e. worse than the BB? I set my expectation bar low…

Hare brief done we set off and I promptly got the first check wrong. That was nearly the last bit of checking I did too! We started climbing a hill, and a few tricky checks had the FRBs rotating. Brownfinger was leading for a while till he got stung by skiddy sticks… None of Your Business took over and led for a while until he got hit by a tricky circle that cut off to the right. Sloppy was leading till he checked up the wrong hill… We’d been climbing steadily for the first couple of km, and then we hit the base of “the hill”, and that was where I heard Taste My Buns call OnOn after a tough check, and Chuckie’s gleeful call from there too. As I started the ascent behind Knockout, I envisioned CW disappearing into the distance ahead. When Graven past me I felt like I wasn’t moving.

Mr. Poo, Adorable BB, Knockout and I formed a mini-2nd-pack someway behind the leaders for the descent. I took it steady – it was steep – Mr. Poo had enough and tried to race off ahead of me, only to go the wrong way. As we emerged at the bottom of the hill, Superman joined our pack… Yes, Sups had somehow arrived late, and nailed the shortcut again!

Excellent set Turkey. All on good trails, and unfamiliar trails – I think he finally managed to make it ‘vergin’.

Luring a large crowd to the runsite by promise of cake, we had a big turnout at the lake near Alpine Golf Course.  I missed the hare brief, as I was trying to get money, but the gist was we could expect anything…

We set off along the edge of the lake, and Turkey was keen to get to the first check first. We had 2 relatively new hares to Chiang Mai, so I wasn’t sure how well they would know the area – would they have found the nice trail that cuts between the hills, or the great trail that runs through the gully behind? In short yes… The first check had Turkey going wrong while Brownie, Chuckie, me and later to be called “Pays by the Inch” trudging along ahead. Brownie was setting a quick pace, with only Chuckie going along with him. A circle check had me and Brownie checking down by the canal – nothing until PBTI called to the left. I hacked my way up to the trail that cuts through the hills. Nice.

I was a little behind the FRBs and the next circle check had ABB written all over it. A bit past the obvious trail, making it a back check, except it wasn’t a back check, and there was no powder on the trail I thought they’d use. A bit of a meander through some trees and there’s a great circle check just down to the left on a bit of a road. This was the “back check”. Being a bit behind I had the chance to get it right and HRA, NOYB & I headed towards the steps, with the following trail, and me heading ahead just below them. A circle check at the bottom of the steps. I was there first, and felt like I was playing poker against the hares – I called their bluff and headed right. Everyone else went all in and headed up the stairs. I got about 100m or so along a little trail, and there was something white on the ground… With people running up the stairs, I really didn’t want to call them back unless I was absolutely sure… So I checked and double checked. Did this powder taste the same as the other powder we’d had? How far had they climbed in the wrong direction? Was there a second blob? OK, it’s an ONON call. Excellent diversion.

The trail headed up the hill, and as Brownie breezed past me he got to a check, but intelligently managed to follow me down a not obvious trail to the right, along with Chuckie. Somehow we’d got HRA to go up the hill and the other FRBs to fan out to the left. We cruised back down to the canal and Turkey joined us. We light heartedly berated the Turk for short cutting, only to see Graven appear ahead off us calling about a circle. There was much confusion. Chuckie and I pressed on, doing our best to follow trail, and spent much of the time on trail, until we got to the road. It is possible there was some other trail somewhere, but we found plenty!

Back down the road, along the canal, over a barb wire fence, a turn to the left… And then something that the hares were never punished for in the circle. A blob of powder off on the trail to the left… We headed off to the left, and nothing… Finally we found trail going straight – it was a mini ‘non-check’. And there was the lake. Should I go for the promised swim? Or walk back the shorter way? Today I took the easy option.

All in all, a great run. Some excellent checks. A new German restaurant for the OnoNon.

A familiar area at the back of the Ag Centre, so I was confident if the run was too tough I’d be able to short cut back. My legs were sore, but not as sore as they are today! Anyway, the A site was the ranger station which nobody uses – something to do with ghosts – after the run we had a ritual where we moved the ice 10m to the left to appease the ghosts, and Wooly Jumper kept seeing someone hiding in the shadows asking us to leave before 7pm. I didn’t see anyone!

Anyway, we set off… NOT in the direction of the hills, but towards the fields of the Ag Centre! Awesome! We cut through the nice flat meadow with the odd check which had 1/3 of the pack following trail, 1/3 of the pack paralleling to the west and 1/3 of the pack paralleling to the east. Sadly I was in the East group with Pet my Pussy, and the trail turned abruptly west, towards the hills. A gentle climb past some of the faculty buildings and the pack was split. I couldn’t run, but could hear the FRBs off to the left. With a good idea of what the hares were going to do, I cut along the trail at the bottom the hill – and I was straight back on trail. At the lake, the trail headed around the back of the lake. I cut off under the lake, and found myself back on trail, this time ahead of the FRBs.

At the next couple of checks I beelined back towards the A site, each time finding trail, and one time finding a large brown snake. The pack were somewhere behind me, I heard the odd call as I passed the “ONION”. Brownfinger and Piggy came racing in as I chatted to the hares. Good job! There are some great running trails at the Ag Centre, and we haven’t used them for quite a while now.