Category Archives: CSH3 Hash Trash

Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

                                 Drinking and Running since 1991

                                             Hash Trash # 1524

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                       Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman       Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec. –  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1525

Today’s run  once again took us South from the Samoerng and Canal Road junction. As many runs are set in this area and this reference point often used when giving directions. I think it deserves its own title. I suggest calling it Samcan. This being a portmanteau word taking the Sam from the first three letters of Samoerng and the can from the first three letters of canal. Also when said in the correct tone and given the right inflection, it roughly translates into the Thai word for important. Just a thought.

The hares for today’s escapade were Doesn’t Get It and Shagless. The A bucket was at Cloud 9. This is a place where I have a distant, totally bizarre, memory of a piano in the middle of a rice field. Whether this is a legitimate memory, or I dreamt it. I would have to have corroborative evidence on the matter. Doesn’t  Get It got on with the hare brief. The usual stuff, following strips of paper, circle checks etc. Then she made some kind of bodily gesture, which to be perfectly honest with you, I missed. But it was the source of a great mirth and merriment among those assembled also eliciting the odd jocular remark or two. From the veritable cornucopia of hashing terrain available in and around Chiangmai today’s run would be flat and taking us through a vast array of rice fields. With, at this time of year, the young rice plants exuding an amazing luminescent hue of green that is only seen in Asia.

Everyone now in high spirits set off along a tarmac road and after about 100 meters  coming to the first circle check. The usual suspects doing the checking-namely Chuck Wao, Just Cumming, Skid Mark and Cartoon –  and the other circle guardians  taking up their positions waiting for the onon to be called. After a few minutes the trail was located bringing us past a lam yai processing plant which had some weird, Heath Robinson, looking machines outside. Frozen Dick informed us, they were used to make lam yai jelly which is exported to china. It’s amazing the things you can learn on a hash run.

Although today’s running terrain was void of inclines the ground was very uneven in places and often quite waterlogged. We were now heading for the rice fields, but first we had to negotiate a trail which dropped down 2 or 3 meters, or so, through herbaceous undergrowth which had formed a kind of tunnel. Before I entered  I could hear  shrieks and screams coming from Mary Poppins’ kids who, apparently, had been told by their mum not to get their shoes wet. At the other end was Skid Mark taking great delight in their predicament telling them repeatedly, ” it’s the hash, it’s the hash. This is what it’s all about”.

With the tunnel episode behind us, we  now found ourselves amidst  the rice fields being surrounded  by a pure sea of green with  the mountains in the distance interspersed by a plethora of wistful clouds. The scene  was quite spectacular, somewhat exemplifying an idyll of rural life in Northern Thailand. We carried on over an irrigation canal by means of a bridge far too substantial, safe and sensible for an area of this kind. It was my belief that any bridge, to be hashed across, in an environment such as this can only be constructed from no more than three dodgy bamboo poles. That’s my experience, anyway.

A little further on we came to the Wimp-Rambo split with Geisha Gash who was running in front of me taking the Wimp option as I embarked on the Rambo trail. I was now alone and ran along some nondescript trails and once again came to a tarmac road and it wasn’t long before I came to the very  welcome beer stop. The amber nectar was consumed, pleasantries were exchanged with the hares and I carried on. At this point I was about 1.5 km from the A bucket, but a load of black foreboding clouds had amassed overhead. There was no doubt about it; it was going to rain. Not an absolute deluge, but heavy rain ensued making the ground very muddy and slippery.

The trail now took me along some of the earthen walls of a rice field proving to be a pretty treacherous path to take and probably not doing the farmer any favors either. With the rice field traversed, I got back onto a decent hard surface. I thought now, being as wet as an otter’s pocket, I couldn’t be far from the OnIn only to be confronted with an arrow pointing into a wooded area. I followed the fore mentioned arrow to be led into an area that can only be described as a mosquito ridden, hell hole of a swamp and who knows what other natural fauna was present there, I’d rather not think about it. Also with the black clouds and time moving on it was getting quite dark at this point, so as you could imagine, I wasn’t in a place I particularly wanted to be in. I was very relieved to eventually get out of the swamp area and back on a firm surface. I crossed another irrigation canal and soon came to the OnIn and back to the A bucket.

The run was about 6 km it took me about an hour and twenty minutes. I didn’t hear about any mushrooms being gathered today. Perhaps Doesn’t Get it picked them all while she was setting the trail. Great scenery, great run guys. I look forward to your next one.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke

Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash # 1522

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                         Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman         Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                                   Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                            Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger             On-Sec. – Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1523

The location for today’s run took us 24 km East along the Sankampheng road and was brought to us courtesy of Bushy Tail and Just Cumming. First impressions of the A bucket was  the abundance of mountains in the area. Surely we would be ascending one of the fore mentioned pretty soon. Having said that, I think it’s worth noting. At this time of year with the rainy season providing us with an amazing lusciously green landscape, a crystal clear unpolluted sky,  burgeoning green shoots of vibrant young rice plants thriving in the fields and all surrounded by the majestic mountains of Sankampheng. It’s conditions such as these that truly epitomize the joy and wonderment of hashing in Chiangmai. I’m sure no hasher, worth their salt, would disagree with this observation.

Just over 30 hashers assembled for the hare brief and it was nice to see the use of cross checks had been restored for today’s run, I haven’t seen one of those in years. Bushy informed us that it was going to be a flat run. Could she be believed? only time would tell. Our illustrious RA, Mr Wao, had come up trumps with the weather once again, no nasty black clouds anywhere to be seen. We set off and I heard HRA calling to cumalot to join the rambo runners, but she didn’t take a blind bit of notice. We were immediately confronted with a  circle check, or it might have been a cross check. Anyway, this instigated the usual hypothesizing and pontificating by all and sundry most of whose opinions were totally  incorrect. Would you expect anything else? The trail was finally located and took us along a path through some elephant grass where I came across Captain Hook , an impassable  ditch and the loss of paper. Everyone dispersed in search of the trail when a shot was heard, probably a farmer shooting a pigeon or something.  But Sloppy Rod thought someone was taking aim at him although I didn’t see him dive for cover.

Eventually, the trail was found and  I bumped into Happy Ending who was whinging about the parsimonious distribution of paper  with only a few strands of the shredded stuff dotted here and there making the trail hard to follow. However, her whinging soon turned to a state of glee when she spotted a clump of about 10 or so mushrooms. She instinctively gathered them up and went happily on her way.

We carried on a little further, and I had noticed that we had been passing a great number of farm animals and in particular cows. It looked like dairy farming was quite common in this area. It’s a well known fact, dictated by the laws of nature, where ever you have a large amount of cattle, it naturally follows, there will be a high concentration of cow shit. We came across an innocuous looking flat area, looks can be deceptive, soon finding ourselves up to our ankles in fym ( farm yard manure). What methods Chuck Wao must have instigated to negotiate this quagmire, I’ll never know. He must have resorted to some pretty drastic measures. The only one coming to grief here, as far as I’m aware, was Turkish. We were all now in drastic need of some running water to run through to clean our shoes.

At this point in the proceedings, I was in my usual place in the pack. Towards the back in Square Rooter territory. However, we were still coming across FRBs -namely Turkish, Pussy whisperer and Deep Throat– who had been caught out by checks. This is a good sign as it shows that the pack are generally sticking together.

On we went, coming across a Buddha shrine with a long flight of steps. The perplexing thing here was that we hadn’t really gone up any hills, but we had to descend these steps. I always thought that one of the rules of haring states, Whenever you encounter a flight of steps on trail these steps must be ascended and not descended. That’s always been my experience, anyway. We carried on through some rice paddies along some leafy paths and eventually joined up with the trail we had set off from and back to the A bucket.

The run was just over 6 km, without checks, and took me around an hour and fifteen minutes. Great location, spectacular views – the hares didn’t even lie when they said the trail was flat. Great run guys, well done.

OnOn – Stumbling Dyke…

Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash # 1521

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                         Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman        Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                                  Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On – Sec. – Stumbling Dyke

Announcement:

August 15th is Sin Bin’s birthday run at ” Tiger Muay Lodge in the Jungle” (Sleep on It’s place). Rooms are available to stay overnight at 700 Baht. So you can enjoy a mini outstation if you like. You can jump into the pool and enjoy a cooling off period before the On On On at The Tiger Grill. Sin Bin and his family will be up there from Friday organizing events.

Directions: Drive north on the 1001, go past Maejo University. From here drive about another 9 km and look for HHH signs or the big ‘Tiger Muay Thai” sign on the right.

GPS:   18.975576  98.992258

Run # 1,522

The A bucket for  today’s run was the Hex Shelter near OB Khan – the collapsed wall still hasn’t been repaired. I think some hasher or other leaned against it a couple of years ago and it came tumbling down. Anyway, At this time of year, as we’re well into the rainy season, it’s always a good idea to keep an eye on the heavens. The weather looked promising with no imminent signs of foreboding clouds overhead.  A day later, it would have been a different story. So it’s good to see that Chuck Wao, Religious Advisor, is keeping on top of his duties.

The hare for today’s escapade was Mary Poppins. As far as I’m aware, he is a virgin hare on the CSH3. However, he was under the supervision of the ever vigilant HRA acting in the role of co-hare. So it could be quite correctly  assumed  that there would be the odd hill or two to negotiate and surmount.

The usual hare brief was given. The only thing I remember about it was the fact  there was  only one trail meaning no Rambo – Wimp split. That meant I was going to be in for a bit of strenuous exercise, not necessarily a bad thing. Around 30 hashers set off into familiar territory with the usual suspects taking the lead. Those being Titty Smoker, Pussy Whisperer and Deep Throat. The trail took us through the barbed wire fence which seems an obligatory portal to pass through when ever we run in this area. A short while later I came across Sheep Shagger collecting stones for the rockery in his garden, but it looked like he was giving them to Happy Ending to carry.

It wasn’t long after that we were confronted with the first hill. At this point I was was towards the back of the pack, no surprise there, among the rear echelon harriett foraging party. Those being Super Bitch, Microwave, Hot Nipples and Geisha Gash, to name but a few. All taking advantage of natures wonderful bounty. Although there was plenty of greenery to gather and collect there was a shortage of mushrooms which created  a constant source of whinging among the fore mentioned during the run. Future hares take note, make sure there is an adequate amount of fungus along any trails you set. We clambered to up the hill with the usual puffing, panting and the odd expletive here and there until we reached the top. But as soon as we got to the top we seemed to descend quite precipitously and  precariously down the other side.

We eventually got to the bottom of the hill where I came across a very good bamboo walking stick. I later found out, it had been discarded by Turkish Delight. I wish he had thrown it away before we ascended the hill and not after. Not long after we came to the ONIN which again took us through the obligatory barbed wire fence and back to the A bucket. The run was about 6 km and took me about an hour and twenty minutes. A good workout was had by all.

Congratulations on a great virgin set by Mary Poppins and his co hare HRA, well done guys.

OnOn – Stumbling Dyke…

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991     

Hash Trash 

Grand Master –  Skid Mark                                       Haberdasher –  Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman          Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                              Beer Monster –  Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                           Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger            On Sec. – Stumbling Dyke

 Due to the ongoing egregious  plague that has descended on the planet a belated  AGMFU run finally took place in July. This year is a particularly auspicious year for  CSH3 as it marks 30 years of drinking, running and all other sorts of raucous  behavior in and around Chiang Mai on Saturday  afternoons.

In Time honored tradition it was a case of out with the old and in with the new, but first we had to endure the outgoing GM’s, Just Cumming, valedictory run. His co hare being Captain Hook. The location for the days shenanigans was that strange hole in the ground about 1 km behind Grand Canyon. A field of around 40 hashers assembled including a few visitors and virgins – which is remarkable given there are no tourists coming into Thailand right now.

Just Cumming gave the hare brief as usual nobody seemed to take any notice  as hare briefs are full of disingenuous and misleading  information rendering them basically bull s*%#.  Anyway, the run got underway. It didn’t start to badly really, taking us down the hill, across the road, along a leafy trail, over a stream to the first circle check which quickly led us to the Wimp, Rambo Split. I was persuaded by Leaky Faucet and Deep Throat, against my better judgment I might add, to take the Rambo. This was inevitably going to take us high up into the mountains. We embarked on the ordeal passing Square Rooter who quipped something witty, but I can’t recall what he actually said. We finally made it to the top of the mountain to be rewarded by a magnificent panoramic view of the local surroundings. At this point, I checked my GPS to be informed we had only completed half the trail, but on the plus side it should be more or less down hill from here. We trudged to the bottom of the mountain at which point we could see the A bucket and came across Frozen Dick and Sloppy Rod. I think they may have done the wimp run, I’m not sure. We finally made it back to the starting point. The run had been around 7 km. A good, yet grueling, effort.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke….

The Circle

The outgoing GM officiated over the start of the circle with the usual rhetoric asking the members what they thought of the run etc. Various splashes were handed out and then it came time to announce who the new GM was going to be. Everyone waited with bated breath, not really, to hear who it could be.  Just Cumming announced it is going to be Skidmark. With absolutely no pomp and circumstance Skidmark took control of the circle and promptly, in inimitable hash style, unceremoniously  sacked the former committee. Then he introduced his own  committee minions these being: Titty Smoker taking over as Hash Cash, Superman takes the new post of Historian and Awards Master, Just Cumming being made Joint Master,  Deep Throat as the Beer Monster with Sheep Shagger being his deputy, Chuk Wao will be Religious Advisor, the Haberdasher’s department will be taken over by Juicy Fruit, Hare Raising duties will be within the remit of Bushy Tail and the On Sec will be Stumbling Dyke. I’m sure these members will provide  a high standard of mismanagement over the period of their tenure. Let’s hope the situation regarding the pandemic improves over the coming months, so we can all enjoy carefree hashing once again.

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