Category Archives: CSH3 Hash Trash

Run # 1,623 – JC’s Millennium Run – Saturday 10^th December 2022

Today’s run marked a momentous occasion in the history of the CHS3. As it was Just Cumming’s 1,000^th run. A feat that has only been accomplished by two other dedicated hashers, namely Superman and the dearly departed Miss Piggy.  This achievement constitutes around 20 years’ worth of Saturdays traversing the trails in and around Chiangmai pursuing nothing in particular other than a few cans of Heineken to refresh the parts no other beer reaches – that was the advertising slogan in the UK from the 1980’s. This was probably when JC first started hashing.

As all the covid restrictions have been relaxed, we seem to be getting back to a sense of normality in Chiangmai and this was particularly evident with the turnout for today’s outing. There were the usual Saturday stalwarts, a smattering of visitors, along with more than a modicum of long-time returnees.  Making what only can be described as a multitude of hashers numbering around 55 in total.

Captain Hook was JC’s coconspirator for today’s shenanigans choosing an A bucket just off the Canal Road about 12 km south from the Samoeng junction. The actual A site, itself, was at a minor road intersection which was obviously gave rise to being referred to as a super highway during the circle due to all the vehicular interruptions.

JC gave the hare brief and the assembled multitude headed for the nearby woodland and the first circle check. After about 5 minutes or so the trail was located which took us deep into the forest. There was a certain degree of steepness to negotiate, but nothing too drastic. It wasn’t long before we came to the first wimp Rambo split. This was a trail where the two routes would join each other on a couple of occasions. I followed the Rambo trail at the first split where we gained some more altitude and after 1 km or so the two trails met up again. This was when I came across Mr Poo who came thundering past me at a much greater pace than myself.

After another few hundred metres we came to the next wimp – rambo where this time I decided to err on the side of caution and take the wimp option. This trail took us down the hill and back in the general direction of the A bucket. I ambled my way down the trail, admiring the view and taking time to appreciate my surroundings when who should I meet coming up the trail in the opposite direction but Mr Poo. At the split he hadn’t been able differentiate between the huge R and W , he wanted to follow the Rambo trail but inadvertently ended up with the wimps. I really think Mr Poo Magoo would be a far more appropriate name for him. But it’s great to have all these longtime returnees once again swelling our ranks.

On the route I took I clocked up around 4 km and I think the Rambo was in the region of 6 km. everyone finished within day light even Square Rooter. A great run guy’s and congratulations To Just Cumming on his Millennium run.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke….

Saturday 29 October 2022 Run # 1617

Turkish and Cuck Wao were in charge of today’s outing choosing as their A bucket the small, flat topped, hillock about 12 km down the Canal Road. This site has been utilized by today’s haring duo over the past few years on multiple occasions. So I think now it’s about time it was given an official hash name. As Turkish already has his triangle maybe something like Chuckies’ Plateau might be a suitable name for the venue. Just a thought.

This is a great site with plenty of parking and a great panoramic view of the local countryside. But on the downside with the ending of the rainy season it doesn’t take long for the first signs of the dreaded air pollution to make itself evident with that dirty, murky haze that we are all too familiar with making an appearance.

Ever since we have been using this A site, which is a few years now, there has been a restaurant under construction. I can officially announce that this establishment of fine dining is now up and running.

About 30 of the usual suspects turned up with a handful of visitors making the effort to join us. As the hare brief was under way, dark clouds started to gather overhead and a heavy storm looked imminent. But I remembered rain is forbidden to fall on any Saturday run that Chuck Wao has any input and today was no exception with the clouds passing over without any significant deposit of rainfall.

We set off down passed the side of the restaurant and along the myriad of tracks that traverse the area. Everything was all going very well when all of a sudden, the paper was nowhere to be found. Search as we did, with  every conceivable direction being investigated,  all our efforts proved to be fruitless. Belly even contemplated turning back. Eventually Chuck Wao appeared from somewhere, but alas was of little help as he couldn’t remember in which direction the trail was.

I personally decided to take this opportunity to treat the situation as a scouting session and generally ambled through the forest for a few KM totally off trail for the whole time. Unbeknown to me the rest of the pack had eventually located the trail. Everyone returned within daylight and by all accounts experienced a good run. So this can go down as another successful hash from Chuckies’ Plateau. Well done guys.

Run # 1612 Saturday 1^st September 2022

Run 1612 marked the occasion of Chatterbox’s 17^th birthday. It also coincided with Square Rooter’s 600^th run, so there must have been some strange planetary alignment, in the hash heavens, to create such on auspicious event. The A bucket was at the G&M Sausage factory in Sankampeang. A site favoured by the Skid family for its proximity to a fine onon facilities. From the pictures posted by Snail Trail prior to the run, the haring duties looked very much like a family affair with Chatterbox and Snail Trail being the hares and Skid Mark being roped into paper carrying duties. Due to the over extended rainy season we are experiencing at the moment, the weather for the set was horrendous. Yet the haring detail, in true hash style, stoically got on with the business of trail setting regardless of the adverse climactic conditions.

About 25 of the regulars turned out for today’s escapade with Piggy introducing, Paul, one of his longtime friends from England to hash. After we had gone through the formalities of the hare brief, Belly decided to convene a mini circle before setting off.  As Piggy’s friend, Paul, had inadvertently turned up in new shoes, he was therefore invited to drink a can of Beer Chang dispensed into the offending footwear which he dutifully executed.

We set off into the rice fields and it was immediately evident that the majority of today’s run was going to be spent squelching through mud. So we slid and slipped our way through the paddy fields having to cross the odd stream or two and eventually after about 2 km we found ourselves on a tarmac road and a circle check which was giving difficulty to those trying to locate the trail. This in turn resulted in a group collecting on the road. It is my experience whenever a situation like this occurs, an impromptu committee is formed to lambast the hares for their devious trail setting techniques. Today was no exception. As we were discussing the veritable merits of the hares, a car pulled up driven by a woman who looked to be accompanied by her son. She seemed very polite and friendly, but when she saw Purple Fart it ignited a sense of recognition towards him and she seemed quite enamored by his presence. Although Purple denies never knowingly ever meeting her. His memory was probably suppressed during an episode of alcohol induced cognitive impairment. Or it is better summed up as normal hash behaviour.

Eventually the trail was found and it took us past the site of a previous Skid Mark run of about 2 or 3 years ago, as this place is indelibly etched in my mind, I recognized it immediately. The reason I remember it was because the run he set had been a B to A run and this point had been the B bucket. That meant that we had to be transported to the starting point. As I remember, some went in the songteaw and the remainder were taken in Titty Smoker’s truck. The problem was that Skid Mark had to drive the truck, but this vehicle has a manual transmission and I don’t think Skid Mark had driven such a conveyance for quite some time. The result was when we arrived at the B bucket Skiddy neglected to engage the clutch before stopping which almost sent all those assembled in the back, myself included, flying forward and  out of the truck.

We carried on through quagmire of rice fields with the black storm clouds gathering overhead and then the inevitable happened and a downpour ensued. Like drowned rats we soldiered on and eventually back to the A bucket. Although today’s run was hampered by the weather, I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was in the region of 7 km and totally flat as you would expect with any run Skid Mark is involved with.

Run 1608 – Saturday, 3^rd September 2022

Run # 1608 was a BMY – Sloppy collaboration. The last time I experienced a run by these two was after the first covid hiatus which turned out to be a mini ball breaker if my memory serves me correctly. I recollect being in the middle of a forest in a pretty precipitous terrain with the daylight fading rapidly. Not a particularly desirable predicament, I’m sure you would agree. So I turned up at today’s A bucket, I’m sure you can understand, with a certain degree of trepidation. Today’s A site of choice was near the Tiger’s head out in Mae Jo.

About 20 of the usual suspects turned out with one or two visitors finding their way on to the Saturday hash. One of them went by the name Of Penis Head from Alaska. And for those of you who can remember the awards – alas they are no more – we could have given him with the most apposite of adornments. The baseball hat a topped with a phallus. I’m sure you all know the one I’m talking about. I think it would have been most appropriate, but this choice is no longer available to us

You’ve probably picked up, the awards as we know them no longer exist. This circumstance came about because Belly is having some building work done and the builder inadvertently threw the award’s bag away with the accumulated rubble. It’s is beyond me how anyone could mistake the hash’s hallowed relics consisting of a 30-year-old toilet seat and the like as rubbish. But at least the wings survived this ignominious fate as they had been left at the A bucket after Itchy Bitchy and Anything’s run and were subsequently retrieved apparently.

Anyway, after the usual hare brief, we all set off into the forest and the first obstacle that needed to be negotiated was a dried-up canal bed where I almost careered into the back of Titty Smoker as he psyched himself up to sprint up the other side. The trail took us through forest along the myriad of paths but surprisingly along – given the mountainous nature of the area – more or less flat course.  For a great deal of the run, I was following Belly who was wearing a green shirt which blended completely into the surrounding foliage. Given the rain that we’ve had lately the ground was quite marshy in places, but we soldiered on.

After about 5 km or so, we came to a lake which on the other side we could see the FRBs getting their feet wet. So taking the sensible option Belly, Tequila Slammer, snail trail – the latter 2 in possession of a mushroom or 2 –  and myself took the dry option around this water feature where we joined up with the FRBs who were surmounting barbed wire fences and cavernous ditches and so forth. An excellent choice on our behalf. The trail at this point took us back into the forest where we came across the wimps who had been on a trail that was apparently as long as the Rambo trail. We then all merrily made our way back to the A Bucket. The run was about 7km along great trail and thankfully generally flat and Stumbling friendly. Great job guys and I look forward to the next one.

Saturday 13^th August 2022 Run # 1605

Itchy Bitchy and Anything set up camp for this Saturday’s outing at the crematorium near to Itchy’s and Suckit’s place. A convenient A bucket for the sacrificial offerings to the hash gods and with more than adequate protection from any rain that might fall. Around 30 hashers turned up including a small contingent from Phnom Penh who had come along to indulge themselves in all of what hashing in Chiang Mai can offer.

The run started off on familiar trails past the quarried area which seem to be turning into unofficial repositories for the dumping of rubbish. I passed a few mushrooms and pointed them out to Pink Nipples CMC, Chief Mushroom Collector, who informed me they were the deadly poisonous variety, so best left alone. The trail led us into the forest past the meditation temple and onto the myriad of trails that navigate themselves throughout the woodland. Within a couple of kms we came to the Wimp Rambo split. Knowing this area as I do I predicted the run was going to be pretty flat and not to demanding.

We carried on through the forest and then we were sent down an unexpected trail descending quite steeply, then all of a sudden I was in unfamiliar surroundings. The trail was no longer flat and predictable but steep and treacherous, at least in a few places anyway. We traversed our way through the obstacles of the forest where from time to time the paper was quite sparsely distributed. But this helps to keep the pack together. We carried on for a few more kms in this kind of terrain and then I began to recognize certain familiar landmarks again and we soon found our way back to the A buckets.

After the run Itchy  told me that the battery in her phone had died during the set, so they  set most of the run using the old fashioned methods – looking for moss growing on trees and things like that – without the aid of technology. I personally thought it was an excellent run of about 7 km . Well done ladies.

Saturday 23^rd July 2022     Run # 1602

Skid Mark and Captain AWOL Were the hares for today’s outing choosing the lesser hashed area , on Saturdays anyway,  of Mae Rim for the A bucket. The X Centre to be more precise.  Around 20 of the faithful turned out with Dick the Boy Wonder making a return after an uncharacteristic hiatus of 4 years. Pre covid he had been a perennial visitor since 1998. Attendance was somewhat depleted this week as a number of the regulars were engaged in other hashing business at the seaside, something to do with primates, I’m told.

One thing you can take for granted is that any run associated with skid Mark is going to be devoid of any particularly precipitous terrain and today was no exception. The hares had negotiated special dispensation to start the proceedings through some private property. A member of the Thai military proving to be positive asset in these circumstances, I’m sure. We were escorted through the private land with HRA leading the way and it wasn’t long before we entered on old abandoned fort made from the flimsiest bamboo you could imagine. Just another one of those utterly surreal places you can only come across hashing in Chiang Mai. Once the fort had been experienced we were guided onto a tarmac road for a while and to the wimp rambo split.

The Rambo trail immediately directed us onto what can only be  described as one of the great wonders of Mae Rim. It was a piece of civil engineering I’d never come across before. An aqueduct of about 1 km stretched out before me. A very impressive structure to be sure. So no checking or following paper was necessary as we made our way across the span as there was only one way to go.

After the aqueduct had been negotiated we were sent along various roads and trails for another couple of kms or so and back to the X Centre. A very pleasant run along an interesting and varied trail and surprisingly no rice crop was damaged at any time during the run  as we weren’t sent through any paddy fields which is very rare for a Skid Mark run.

As Belly Dancer was  engaged on Monkey business at the seaside Anything took over as acting GM.

Thanks  Skid Mark and Captain AWOL for another great hash in Chiangmai.

Run # 1593 – Saturday 28^th May 2022

With the rainy season well and truly upon us, we all gathered at the Agricultural Centre on a damp, muggy, sticky, sultry day in conditions that can only be described as those  resembling a Turkish bath. So how appropriate to have Mr Delight in charge of proceedings for today’s little escapade. As I turned up at the run site, I was met by Turkish who immediately asked me if I had a wire cutters. I’m not really sure what nefarious activity he intended to perpetrate with such equipment, but it all seemed a little dodgy to me. Luckily, the afore mentioned tool is not something I usually carry around with me, thus averting a wanton act of vandalism on behalf of the Turk.

Around 30 of the usual suspects turned out with a few notable long time returnees gracing us with their presence. Titty Smoker and his wife Pink Nipples, the chief mushroom collector, turned up after a short sabbatical in the southern islands. Snowballs was another , not seen for a long time, returnee obviously armed with his photographical equipment of which I have yet to see one example of  his comprehensive photographic documentation of every hash he’s been on. Maybe he’s working on a major production for Netflix or something.

The run took us through most of the Agricultural Centre which in turn resulted in a great deal of concrete roads to be trudged along. As I alluded to before the air was heavy with humidity, so not the most perfect of conditions.

We all have our own personal goals on the hash, some are FRBs and like to make a race of it. Others come along to forage in the forest and there are those, let’s face it, who are only here for the beer. Personally my own goal is to finish in front of Square Rooter. So I was quite pleased, as I made way along the trail, to see Devil’s Reject and Mr Rooter ambling along way behind me.

The trail eventually went out of the Agricultural center and behind the newly built observatory along a track I haven’t been on for many years. It went past a cattle farm along with all this distinct odors that entails. It eventually looped back to the  A bucket. The run itself was about 7 km. I achieved my goalby  once again by finishing ahead of Square Rotter, but in fairness to Mr Rooter he did just about finish in daylight.

For me it was a very enjoyable run, so thanks Turkish. And a fun circle, officiated by Deep Throat, acting GM, as Belly Dancer was away on important business.

OnOn Stumbling

Run # 1590 Saturday 7^th May 2022

Riding to the A site and getting caught in a deluge of almost biblical proportions. I quite reasonably inferred that today’s run would be a complete and utter washout and, if the truth be known, I half considered turning back. But I carried on regardless and you can imagine my surprise arriving at the A bucket with not so much as a hint of rain having fallen and a clear blue sky. So  it’s a comforting to know that our RA – J Coming – is fully in control of his assigned remit, for the time being at least.

Devil’s Reject was making his debut as hare on the CSH3 and had chosen an A site near the Grand Canyon, colloquially referred to in hashing parlance as Superman’s Dog Leg . I have made this point before; I think it’s a good idea to give the frequently used A buckets names. This cuts out a lot of confusion when giving directions. At the moment we have A sites such as: Turkey’s Triangle, Piggy’s Pig Farm and the HRA Shelter. These venues are instantly recognizable, so there’s no need to follow signs or GPS coordinates. Another point of reference that is commonly used is the junction of the Canal and Samoeng roads. I suggested taking the first three letters from Samoeng and Canal making the name Samcan. A point of interest with this name is that in the Thai language Samcan when spoken with the correct vocal articulation means important. These names in time would get imbedded in the folklore of Chiangmai hashing adding a bit of mystery and intrigue to the various hashes. Just a thought.

Anyway back to the run.around 25 of the regulars with a couple of visitors turned out for Devil’s inaugural haring escapade. We set off with the visitors taking an early lead into the forest. They probably didn’t realise , given their athletic enthusiasm,  that the whole point of hashing is nothing to do with running, but it’s all about the cold beer. We made our way along well-trodden trails up and down through the woodland. Another important factor in regards to Chiangmai hashing is the foraging opportunities for the female members. I was a little disappointed to not have seen  a big pile of mushrooms back at the A bucket given the near perfect growing conditions for the afore mentioned fungi.

It was a very auspicious day for myself and Cummalot as we both achieved the 400 run milestone. Having praised the RA at the beginning for his climactic control he lost points at the end as nothing was prepared to mark this momentous occasion the wings hadn’t even been brought to the circle. I had to make do with the Hash Crash. But never mind it was a good day out and an excellent first haring from Devil’s Reject.

Run # 1589 Saturday 30^th April 2022

It’s that time of year again where the hot season gently morphs into the rainy season and we get  long awaited relief from the searing heat and arid conditions of the afore mentioned. This can only mean one thing in the Chiang Mai hashing community – it’s  time for the CSH3’s AGFU. About 40 of the faithful turned out for Sloppy’s swan’s song  and as time honoured  tradition dictates the hares for this run were the incumbent GM and the GM in waiting. Sloppy and the mystery hare – probably the worst kept secret in history of the CSH3 –  took us to an A bucket near Rajamankla University in the Doi Saket area.

The run itself was about 6.5 km through a pretty mountainous region. There were stories of haunted houses along the trail. Apparently there was actually a circle check inside the house. I hope it was indeed a check and not some sort of ritualistic talisman that could unleash untold mayhem on the hash and anyone who came in contact with it. Anyway the first runners returned in about an hour with Piggy and Deep Throat first back and BUF putting in a sterling performance after his recovery  from no less than two twisted ankles.

Sloppy called the circle together with great big thunderous clouds looming overhead in dispersed with the intermittent illumination of lightning and enormous claps of thunder. There was at this stage about a 99% chance of a complete and utter deluge engulfing our festivities. But in true hash style Sloppy soldiered on taking it upon himself, once again, in time honoured tradition to unceremoniously give his committee members the grand order of the boot and ultimately firing himself. Now it was time to reveal who the new GM was going to be and I’m sure it came as no great surprise to anyone that Belly Dancer was announced as our new commander in chief.

As the first big drops of the imminent storm began to fall, Belly, wasting no time, expeditiously got on with the appointing his new committee. One of the first to be given a position was Just Coming being given the role of Religious Adviser. By this time everyone was reaching for their umbrellas and rain coats, but within seconds of his appointment he raised his hands to the heavens and the rain miraculously stopped – proving to be truly inspired appointment from our new GM. It reminded me of the time when Chuck Wao was RA, a couple of years ago, when not so much a one drop of rain precipitated upon the CSH3 during his tenure. Other notable appointments were Hash Cash – Sloppy Rod; Beer Monster – Anything, Sloppy Rod & Deep Throat; Dr. Byte – Web Meister; Chuck Wao – Hare Raiser; Cumalot – Haberdasher; Always on Top – Splash Queen; Stumbling Dyke – On Sec and HRA was appointed as Executive Assistant.

The OnOnOn was at a karaoke joint where we were entertained by various hashers showing off their vocal abilities. One notable rendition was given by Frozen Dick launching whole heartedly into a song nobody had ever heard. Far be it from me to cast any kind of aspersions on his singing ability, but suffice it to say there were no requests for an encore. Having said that a great time was had by all and may I wish Belly all the best for the year ahead.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke…