Category Archives: CH4 – Write Ups

So it was time for Junglicious’ virgin run and we were all wondering what goes through her head! She chose Huay Tung Thao – a common runsite, and one thats particularly common with virgin hares – close to town and relatively easy to set a good run. So what do we know about Junglicious? She’s a hell of a runner, and she runs up hills like they don’t exist!  From the far side of Huay Tung Thao, the mountain is surely going to feature…

A good turn out set off on a fun start – a rope climb, a bamboo bridge, and Belly Dancer was already wishing he hadn’t come. Bizarrely the run had barely begun. A good circle check sent me the wrong way, and some strange calling by Mr. Poo sent me further the wrong way until I found myself scrambling across shiggy and a waterfall to rejoin Hollow Legs & Miss Hollow Legs as the mountain began.

Later in the circle, the irony of Belly Dancer criticising the hill was lost on nobody – it went up and up. And just when we thought we hit the top, they found a little bit more up. S&M girl and Chuck Wao were out front, and they took turns in going the wrong way and letting the pack catch up – in fact Chuck Wao deliberately went the wrong way on more than one occasion.

Finally we descended and well the descent was about half as far as the ascent, so logically we can’t have arrived on the same plane as the cars, but strangely they were there. The beer was flowing, but we had to wait for Frozen Dick before the circle began – not surprising as it was a tough run.

A virgin pairing of Sleeps on it and her new husband set the run out close to Doi Saket village. Getting to the site was well marked and there was clearly no sign indicating you should turn right at the traffic lights in Doi Saket – unfortunately half the hashers proved their general incompetence and promptly got lost – not a good start!

The run site was a pagoda on a peninsula in the middle of a lake – nice run site! The hare brief was brief, but indicated that the wind may have blown away the trail and something about not going through someones property even though they had agreed for us to go through their gardens…  Apparently the lady in question had very large breasts, which accounted for one of Skid Mark’s falls and apparently explained why Kwazi Moto was late getting back to the circle.

The run had a lot of shiggy, scrambling along ‘trails’ across the side of a hill for a long way before we could hit the flats.  But then they found a trail that was protected by a strange lady telling us not to go that way. It turned out the paper was there, and ‘John’ the co-hare had hacked his own way through the jungle to create a ‘trail’ especially for us. Who really cares about the stickers and crap that ripped our legs to pieces?

The highlight (for the hares) was the On-In placed about 200m from the pagoda, on the wrong side of the lake. Most hashers were forced to run about 3km further to get around the lake, while only Byte My Yahoo was clever enough to just swim across to the waiting beers. It was good to have SuckIt back to run the circle – at least some semblance of organisation! On the whole a well laid trail with plenty of tricks that kept a big group together even to the end.

The venue was Dyke’s house, and as I drove around the town, the heaven’s opened and I feared another wash out run. Fortunately the rains stayed off and the run was ok – just needing to move the circle into Dyke’s fitness room – finally it gets used! The hare brief started with the claim it was a short run, and it was – around 4.3km.

We set off along the road, but before long we were on familiar ground moving towards the hills. The early circle checks could have gone anywhere so early on the pack was stuck together. Eventually though, the ‘Dykie Checks’ came into play, but they were telegraphed to some extent, and while Chuck Wao disappeared in the wrong direction, myself and Junglicious managed to run straight through a couple of checks and break away from the pack.

Back down the hill we ran into the trail from yesterday, but only for a couple of hundred metres. Junglicious kept me on track as we maintained a gap ahead of Chuckie, HRA and Skiddy. Towards the back Frozen Dick had company for once, as Betty, Jungle Chim’s Mom, joined us for the day. The Jungle family was in force, but the circle may have been an experience too far as they didn’t make it to the On-On.

Today was the CH4 300th run (or there abouts depending who’s maths you believe!). For some inexplicable reason the combination of Belly Dancer and Skid Mark was chosen to set the trail for the memorable occasion…  On the one hand, it’s true that most of their runs are memorable, but on the other hand they are normally remembered for the wrong reasons!!!  So what would the pair concoct together? Belly Dancer with his love of steep hills, and Skid Mark with his love of water – how could they find a location to satisfy both of their sick sadistic lusts?

The Sankampaeng new road was the answer and a spot that I’ve only hashed once before. Given that it was the 300th run, we attracted a good turn out, including some Saturday regulars – which was great to see. The hares were licking their lips, and giggling gleefully – and I did manage to predict the torture they had in store for us, but they weren’t giving anything away.

The hare brief wasn’t brief…  Remember hasher’s aren’t that smart! Giving more info than usual just confused us! With climbing axes and brooms handed out, we set off anxiously with only one thing for sure – the next hour would be tough, but we wouldn’t forget it quickly. A prediction that held true.

The trail set off towards some rice fields, but rather than touch the paddies, we immediately found some disgusting, stinking, pig waste to trek through. Along the edge of the paddies we quickly found the “Wimp/Rambo” or “Skid Mark/Belly Dancer” split. Belly Dancer it was – promised to be longer and tougher. It seemed most people didn’t pay attention to the hare brief so, myself, S&M Girl and Suck It spent our time collecting special markers for free t-shirts – result! A great ‘Skiddy sticks’ check pulled us all back together and then it was time for the obvious hill – we dreaded it, but it was inevitable.

At the top of the hill the trails rejoined and the walkers were already ahead of us. Downhill was tough to run with a rocky trail, so when we hit the canal the other side of the hill the pack was back together. As we jogged along the edge of the canal, the finish was inevitable….  And Belly Dancer was stood atop of the ‘tunnel’ to make sure some of us completed the ‘Rambo shortcut’. A 500m tunnel to crawl through – waist deep in the shittiest, stinking scum imaginable – fortunately it was pitch black so we couldn’t see what was surely floating past us. The only thing sicker was the size of Skid Mark’s grin as he waited for us at the end of the tunnel, camera in hand.

Seriously though, it was a well marked, and well thought out run. Everybody got home safely, and there was a lot of fun to be had. So a great job hares – this is why we hash!

Kwazi chose a familiar spot for his run – a few km behind the Ag centre. With most of the FRBs gone to Monkey Hash etc. I was pleased to see Greased Gorilla and Suck It come to help with the checking – as it happened for the early stages Junglicious and Itchy Bitchy were flying as well and we had a good pack. But between good checking and good running, the pack spread out across the mountain.

It was a case of going up, across and back down – but this time we seemed to be going up the way we’ve come down before. Kwazi avoided the beautiful waterfall by going over the top of it, but soon we were on familiar trails again. The crunch point came at the top of a hill with a clever circle check. With Greasy and Suck It checking in the wrong direction, I recognised the spot and remembered a hidden trail that Kwazi had used before in the other direction – from then on it was back to the water and down the way he’d brought us up before. “On-On” and run. Greasy closed me down towards the end, but I managed to hold on.

A good well set run, but Kwazi said at the On-On-On that he would choose somewhere new next time – perhaps we are getting too familiar with the area – especially since Frozen Dick started setting out there too. While Mr. Poo was absent, Suckit was back to take on his RA responsibilities and the circle was fast and intimate. A pleasant Sunday evening out!

Belly Dancer can spend weeks scouting to find a hill steep enough to set a trail up, so when he was only given 2 days notice, this could be a disaster… As he tried to reassure the assembled hashers in the hare brief, nobody was really buying it – particularly when he couldn’t remember which way we should set off.

We found the trail, and appeared to be setting off in the usual direction – towards the mountains. No surprises from Belly Dancer’s usual MO. However, there was a twist and we lost quite a bit of time finding the trail as it appeared too head back to the A within 1km – I know BD didn’t have time to scout, but that was ridiculous, and the entire pack was grumbling – “this is wrong”, “i bet we’re on the in trail”, “wtf?”… Fortunately we swung left and trekked back up towards the mountains.

Another V check and virtually the entire pack chose to follow Mr. Poo to the left, leaving me on my own to the right. Mr. Poo kept running through the check back “On-On!”, so I had even more space and didn’t look back. The trail hit the hill and went up, up, up Chuck Wao kept closing the gap, but couldn’t quite catch up. At the cross check, surprisingly Belly Dancer didn’t force us to go any further up and we plunged back down to the bottom of the hill. Chuck Wao and HRA were foxed and had long check backs.

At the bottom of the hill we were back on familiar ground – Dog Shit and S&M were caught short cutting, but apart from the virgins we knew the way home and made it back in around 50 minutes. Afterwards everyone thanked Anything for keeping BD under control – lets hope Skid Mark can keep him under control at the 300 run in a couple of weeks.

Was this an outstation? The journey to the run site went on and on, such that even Dyke Converter managed to get lost on route – apparently he was late because of Dog Shit & Humperdick also struggling to find the site. Either way, we arrived and as we did the rains came – it was looking ominous, but amazingly the skies cleared and we managed to get off just a few minutes late in a light drizzle.

The weather continued to be a feature as we slipped across the trail and with some steep inclines, it became somewhat precarious. Highlights included a sheer 2m drop – where most hashers slid on their asses, and Mr. Poo nearly ripped his shoulder out (again).  His Royal Anus was having the hash of dreams, just running through all the checks, the glee obvious in his voice as he called “On-On”. UNTIL – a cunning cross check destroyed his run as he single handedly found both the wrong trails – both up steep hills!

As Chuck Wao hit the front, he encountered his nemesis – water!  The rains had flooded a stream which the hares had playfully made us cross about 4 times. While he tried to build his own bridges Semen Soars did his best to splash him as he cruised past. Fun stuff – a nice little trail on fairly virgin territory.

Greasy set this run from the Disco Shelter near the Sameong Rd, and driving out the run, the few drops of rain reminded of his last run from the Disco Shelter, a run where the paper was washed out by the rain and left hashers scrambling all through the hills.  Fortunately today the rain held off, and we were left with a good run.  Well, mostly good!

It set off pretty well, until we hit the hill which just stretched up and up – until the point where he found an extra bit of incline! To be fair it wasn’t like a Square Rooter or Belly Dancer run, but it was enough to stretch the field apart – only Chuck Wao and Junglicious didn’t seem to notice the effects of the hill!

All was going fairly well until the “last” circle check (which technically wasn’t the last). Everyone caught up as we spread apart trying to find paper. Finally Skid Mark found the trail, and called loudly. Unfortunately Mr. Poo is as deaf as he is blind, and kicked out the circle in completely the wrong direction leading all the pack down a nasty ravine. For the next hour or so we scrambled our way off the mountain, certainly not on paper, but mostly relieved that it was a familiar location and happy that we could all find our ways back to the A.

Not Greasy’s fault, and it was a very well set run apart from the last km or so.

An excellent job as a virgin hare, but that should come as no surprise as Humperdick had the queen of hares – Itchy Bitchy to help him out. Set on Itchy’s terrain around 11km south of the canal road, the run was always going to be on the pleasant trails of the rolling hills.

The hare brief was slightly protracted and confusing as the pack set off in the wrong direction, but soon enough we were on course and an excellently placed circle check threw everyone the wrong way. This kind of check continued and pretty soon we were running around in circles.

Dyke Converter spotted a short cut and nearly led the visiting Australian family to their shortest hash ever, while Greasy Gorilla also spotted the A site and bailed out. Meanwhile the rest of the pack climbed up and along the top of a ridge that culminated in a circle check which just dropped off the edge of the mountain to find a creek bed running back along the bottom of the ridge. While there were perfectly good trails running alongside the creek bed, the hare insisted on the pack scrambling over the rocky terrain as we worked our way back. All in all a pleasant run.