Category Archives: CH4 – Write Ups

HRA stepped up to the plate at short notice and sent us out to the canal road – it emerged we were to rerun a Bunny Hash Run set by Snail Trail and Throbbing Ninja. Apparently HRA had been on the run but didn’t recognise where we were and the old paper just confused him. HRA gave an elaborate (and early) hare brief for the 3 virgins that we had – it didn’t work, Clement still had no idea what was going on! The hare sent us off pointing towards a barbed wire fence, and immediately we were scattered as we took time to scramble through it.

HRA had told us not to follow shredded paper, but there was shredded paper all over the place – straight up the trail with the odd splash of powder! Brown Finger was immediately racing to the front and by the time we got to the first V check it wasn’t worth checking the other way as he was already away. I briefly saw him when he got a check wrong, but he cunningly threw us off course with some ventriloquist calling – Bastard! Attempting to follow his blistering pace early on was only going to come back and hurt me later when I hit the wall…

The trail to be fair was great – the bunnies had found a good one for HRA to reuse. But one by one the other hashers passed me until I was in that no-mans-land between the runners and the walkers. I strolled along, contemplating a short cut, but I’d been deviously disoriented and opted to stay on trail. Just like Graven’s run last week, this was a great run that I just didn’t have the energy to do… While the trail was good, the checks were fairly straight forward and there was a good 45 minutes between the FRBs and the DFLs.

With the early drinking and extra numbers there were ominous glances at the beer cooler – had the hash cashes screwed up? Fortunately Screwed Up (and Throbbing Ninja) produced a bottle of Bacardi that lasted until the splashes were done. The circle was very enjoyable – one of the most entertaining of the weekend!

New Years Day – a hangover run for sure. When I spoke to Poo after lunch it seemed he was hungover too, and he hadn’t even set off to lay trail yet! Surely he wouldn’t take us up the mountain? It turns out he took us up it twice!?! Since I got the GPS I can track little things like elevation gain and Mr. Poo set the record for the most elevation gain in a hash (excluding Skiddy’s evil mountain on the 20k Lanna Bush… Did I mention before I didn’t like hills?

Anyway, there was a small, reluctant turn out – Throbbing Ninja was so reluctant she just stayed at the circle! Mr. Poo put a lot of effort into the hare brief with plenty of powder to remind us how those checks worked. And finally there was a “Byte My Yahoo” check!!! This was surely going to be the best run in history?! Before the BMY check though, there was a Frozen Dick check! After about 25m we hit the FD check, and had to wait for FD to arrive before setting off into the temple grounds. This was going to be a unique Mr. Poo run – We’d never set off like that before!

It was a slow start and I was happy to not get into running mode. Despite Mr. Poo’s elaborate description of the checks, Brown Finger still needed some prompting. We were all feeling the effects of New Year’s Eve, but we made our way to the bottom of the hill – and the most awesome BMY check! Graven Image found the trail that went up the mountain, and paused to pee on the powder, giving BF some time to check in the wrong direction – excellent hash behaviour! We started climbing with GI and BF taking the lead. Alice and I took our time following knowing that there was a 3 check somewhere ahead that the FRBs would have to wait for us at!

The “Mr. Poo book of haring” clearly states that the hare would set a circle at every intersection and continue trail from 100m – it’s the #1 rule in haring. It seems Mr. Poo forgot his own book and didn’t worry about intersections laying circles periodically in the middle of trail with only one direction to check in. BF and GI were clued in and so Alice and I caught back up at the waterfall crossing 3 check. BF and GI charged off down the hill going the obvious route, never bothering to check the false trails, leaving Alice to do the FRBs work.

At the bottom there was a Wimp/Rambo split – I felt like a Wimp, so attempted to do the W trail, only to end up on the Rambo anyway – going back up just next to where we’d come down. The trail was somewhat overgrown, so we were crawling through bushes as we did another loop of the hill. Tron:Legacy is on the TV, and it’s somewhat distracting as I am trying to figure out what is going on… We ran some more – Brown Finger “won” – badadabadabadoo. The highlight of the circle had to be Screwed Up! He rarely gives splashes, but was on fine form today!

On-On!

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Christmas Day… Kids woke me up not long after 6 when they found out Santa had visited. Unfortunately Santa had enjoyed the whiskey the night before and wasn’t feeling so energetic. Run time came around and I figured why not try to sweat out some christmas spirit? The runsite was down canal road at one of FD’s haunts – I had vague memories of never making it back to the circle from here before at one of his runs, so hopefully Poo had kept him in check. It was a morning run, a hangover run, so surely it would be straightforward?

We set off and immediately screwed the first check – or should I say that Brown Finger screwed the first check. Never mind, we figured it out and set off through barb wire fences before finally hitting the hills. It was then that the christmas spirit hit and I spent a moment or two retching before continuing. The hills were silent – no “OnOns”, only a trail of powder leading away. Were there people ahead? Behind? What the hell I tried to keep going and when we headed back downwards I started feeling better. Turned out Brown Finger, Graven Image and Princess Tinkerbell were the FRBs, but the pack was stretched out a long way with HRA and Cumalot bringing up the rear after engaging in some Christmas hanky panky in the woods.

For such a small field on such a short run (3km), the hares had done a stunning job of not keeping the pack together at all! The circle disintegrated into some pleasant social drinking. Brown Finger had brought some pie – what better a way to spend Christmas lunch? Perhaps McDonalds?

We were back to the Ag Centre – last week Brown Finger was hare and Graven Co-hare – today they swapped. Brokeback Mountain. Last week we did the flats in a long run – what would they do today? We walked to the run start, and tempted Semen Soars with another go at the balance beam. He didn’t and we set off with similar instructions to the previous week. We went along the edge of the lake and unsurprisingly found the first check at the end. Semen Soars followed me in the wrong direction and it was Humperdick that called us back and we went across the football field.

Skiddy somehow got ahead and we set off along the long trail around the field – a dutiful ‘number’ circle check at the end and we were along the bottom of the mountain with HRA taking charge. As the lead runner you’d expect him to look for powder or skiddy sticks, but no, he just kept running. Mr. Poo, being the smarter of the ‘housemates’ chose an unmarked trail into the hills which happened to be the right way after the skiddy sticks. It wasn’t the last time he out-thought the hares.

That brought the hill. I hate hills. After yesterday’s hill, today was punishment and I puffed my way up, exhausted. HRA as expected chose the trail to nowhere further up the mountain, while everyone else waited for Poo to call us On-On back down the hill. At the bottom the hares had cunningly set a “HRA” check so we regrouped waiting for him to come back. Why wasn’t there a BMY check? On to the flats and I was tempted to shortcut – my legs were feeling it – but Skiddy persuaded me to keep going and I reluctantly did.

As we got back to the fields, the On-In was familiar. Jungle Chim suggested there was no reason to go the long way around the lake – I agreed, and so did Bone Hur. We traipsed in for the circle and the overdue beer! Not 100% sure where my energy has gone – it would have been a great run if I’d had the energy for it!

Disclaimer:- The hare’s have bought be beers in the hope of a good write up!

I arrived at the Ag centre to be confronted by 40,000 girl scouts! This is a mixed hash Brown Finger – let’s move the circle a bit away from 1,000 run hill! While waiting for any late comers Semen Soars treated us to a gymnastics display as he balanced on a narrow beam… – and promptly fell on his ass in spectacular fashion! BF fearing any more would injure themselves pre-run let us go and we set off back towards the entrance. I got foxed at the first check – HRA got foxed at the 2nd – each time with SS following closely behind – more than once I pointed out the difference between “Checking” and “Following”…

Anyway, we looped back on ourselves and headed towards the girl scouts before being trapped in a quarry. OK, so we weren’t trapped, and the trail was well marked, but it took me longer than it should have to get out and get back on trail chasing down the front runners. There were “3” and “4” circle checks, and each time we huddled around waiting for numbers, and each time we just missed out on Itchy Bitchy joining us!

In the hare brief BF had told us he’d run it in 35 minutes, and it was about 5km long – BS! Brown Finger doesn’t take 7 mins per kilometer when he doesn’t need to check. And sure enough we turned away from the A and headed towards the steps to Doi Kham temple. WTF? Not even BF is that psycho! HRA and Semen Soars didn’t even bother approaching the steps, just letting me go and find the circle check at the bottom of the stairs. Belly Dancer didn’t even bother leaving the road, and slipped his way ahead again as he trundled down the road.

It was more road and we started to head back. But these hares were devious! There were plenty of great checks that did a great job of keeping us together. Even when we knew where we were and how to get back they managed to mix it up and keep us guessing. A fairly long run and a good 1hr workout – everyone was back within minutes of each other, just the way hashes should be. Followed by a good circle led by BF – he even had some funny splashes to entertain us! Shame about the Gung Ga Ta!

Well I didn’t expect that! A reasonable crowd showed up to see what Horny Monkey would give us – with memories of recent runs expectations were low, but lets give him a chance! We set off along the edge of a field until Brown Finger and I ran straight off the paper and had to go back to follow Skiddy to a circle check in the field. Lost Bearings found the Booby Check after it – it was there we first spotted the hare escorting us on his motorbike – was he really that worried about it?

Further along the road we hit what seemed like a scout camp crowded with little soldiers. We zig zagged back and forth over a little stream crossing a variety of different bridges from balance beams to tyre A frames – and even a barrel tunnel to crawl through – only Brown Finger and HRA were skinny enough to actually manage that though! This was unexpectedly fun! The next circle had us running around in circles – Brown Finger and I both found paper after about 100m, only mine was the end of a false trail. As Graven Image and I ran back to figure out what was going on the rest of the pack stretched out across a rice field only to be brought back together by some inspired haring – a “3” check followed by crossing a small bamboo bridge, followed by some skiddy sticks.

I’d lost my sense of direction and got stuck behind the FRBs until we hit the long On-In back along the road to the A. Horny had done an excellent job. I hadn’t run there before, so it was good to find out what was back there! After the run, the circle was good, followed by some pleasant beers with a smaller crowd, until of course Horny forgot how to safely cross the road – he’s a lucky man! Hope the ankle isn’t too sore today…

Post Bunny fatigue somewhat thinned the turnout today – or was it because Screwed Up had hared this run alone and everyone was fearful of what he had in store?! 14km down canal road to usually pleasant terrain for hashing – no fault to SU that this time of the year brings out the nastiest of stickers. Pre-run Toe Jam and Belly Dancer did a brisk trade in whistles and gaiters respectively. With the bus delayed while Junglisious stopped off on errands en route – SU finally got to give a lengthy hare brief.

Off out we headed with Sweet Pea, her virgin cousin Mem and Itchy Bitchy asking me for a nice shortcut. Well I could but try …. with Brown Finger and HRA a bit the worse for wear it was Jungle Chim and Graven Image leading the way …. leading the way? … it seemed that SU had used 80% of the paper making the most enormous circle checks ever seen on a Hash and the remaining 20% of paper had been sparingly laid for the trail. I have to say SU runs are improving and had the checks been a little more conventional and the shaggy less painful – I would have enjoyed this run a lot.

With the FRB’s off in front I was sandwiched between Toe Jam/Tip Toe and the harriettes – unfortunately for me the girls were behind me. With light starting to fade I picked up the pace a lot, thanks to the proximity of Mr Poo’s calling but ran foul of one of SU ingenious V or bar checks – running through the bars normally works and today was no exception and soon I found myself with the FRB’s at a circle check in the middle of no-where. With much checking I finally resorted to the GPS and an obvious gully and fearing the girls might get lost picked up 400 meters worth of paper and laid trail down the gully.

I missed climbing a small evil shaggy infested embankment and ended up trapped at a lake while the FRB’s ran On In a frustrating 6m above me struggling to escape the sticker filled gully. The girls used my trail in and seems that everybody managed to find a way back – with no-one finding the hare’s On In.

Screwed Up took charge and as the beer flowed the entertainment value went up – Junglisious hot underwear was the highlight of the run/circle and she deservedly got the female wings. Sexygenarian Tow Jam was awarded the male wings.

Nice effort Screwed Up!

OnOn – Belly Dancer

It seems like I am writing a review to a Belly Dancer run almost every week – it’s about time someone gave him a rest from the hareline – or do I mean gives us a rest! Oh, no hang on a minute this was Anything’s run, he was only carrying paper? Hmmmm…. Either way once we’d followed HRA’s cryptic directions to the train station (wtf?) a good turn out was present for the hare brief – given by Belly Dancer, slightly ominously! He cautioned us that S&M Girl had moved the A site and added a km to the run – this was getting more confusing – who was the hare? and why does Belly Dancer need to add any km to his runs???

Anyway, we set off along the railway with myself and Brown Finger stretching our legs early – around 1.5km along the tracks we crossed over and thanks to a V check we came back the other side of the tracks allowing every other hasher to simply cross the tracks and short cut. Into a little side alley and we were squeezing past bamboo huts jumping over piles of empty lao khao and sleeping drunks through one of Chiang Mai’s forgotten quarters.

To their credit the hares had found just about the only greenery within a hash run radius of the train station, and they proceeded to take us through it, and then back to the train tracks. There was a theme here, and running along the tracks it felt like I was in a Western movie or something. Even Graven Image muttered “this is fun!”, although I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic… We cut through a slimy stinkhole and were confused briefly at a field, before it was back into the city streets.

Yay – now you can’t hear anyone calling On-On over the motorbikes, dogs and urban traffic. The cunning hares had thought of everything though, and promptly didn’t put any checks for around 3km so fortunately we didn’t need to be able to hear! Over the river and then we got to a random footbridge “Belly Hill” – aha! Now we know the true hare! Then the feeling of deja vu set in – chalk markings on the walls which looked like LBII had been converted into CH4 – at least it was daylight this time!

After crossing back over the footbridge, my body rebelled telling me just how much further we had to go, and so I conservatively jog/ran back with Greasy and Skidmark heading off after the FRBs. How much more tarmac could it be? A bit over 9km in total, my legs will be feeling it tomorrow… The circle was long – on one of the station platforms so we were drowned out by the station tannoy, passing cars, and the girls gossiping. Good food on at Greasy and Olive Oils, but I had to retire early and rest up for the week ahead – a Square Rooter run tomorrow? Not sure if my body will survive.

A different run – there were no hills in range from the train station, so the hares made up for it in length (9.35km) with a lot of it on the road. Different is good – right? Interesting…? Not sure I’d want an urban run every week, and not sure we’d get virgins returning, but there was plenty of time for the beer to get cold while we were running and the exercise was good!

With weary legs I set out towards the run site fielding calls to let everyone else know where it was going to be! – It’s on the website, but HRA had been tied up all day by Cumalot so didn’t get around to sending out an SMS. Anyway, a group of us found the A site and with Chuck Wao on route we set off.

Myself and Human Excrement (love the name!) charged off down the road past where the trail headed off to the left and had to be called back up the hill. At the first check HRA was marshalling the troops instructing us on where to check – he’s out of practice at this hashing business. Fortunately he sent me the right way only to promptly get the next check wrong. Chuck Wao caught up with us and he and Brown Finger led the way up a steep, steep bank until they got to a circle check and BF drove them both further and further up a steep hill in the wrong direction.

It was a beautiful area and we gently jogged our way through some tree plantations before finally descending down the road. At the final check BF checked a long way across a ridge between two lakes in completely the wrong direction and that was the last we saw of him as Mr. Poo nailed it. Bend Over’s kids were sprinting here, there and everywhere, not sure how many short cuts they found, but they kept appearing up ahead.

Back in the circle and after suitable punishments had been given out we retired to the Fondcome Hotel for a good feed. A pleasant, well organised, evening by Bend Over! On-On!