Category Archives: CH4 – Write Ups

3rd November – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

Posted on November 3, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Itchy stepped up, and the run was way down canal road – great running area. Itchy was coy in the harebrief, no clues as to how far it was but time to start running! I set off with None of Your Business and Brownfinger, and at the end of the road was the first circle check. Brownfinger graciously let NOYB take the most obvious trail, and pointed me out a further option. Pretty close to the circle I found pink paper – it seemed too close, but there was another piece. OK, I guess i’m on? A quick call and everyone came over to decide it was old paper. Back to the circle – everyone seemed to head off in the direction BF had been checking, but I went with NOYB to where he hadn’t gone far enough.

This time we found the paper, and were off. Familiar trails, and I nailed quite a few checks, out of contact with the pack behind me. Things were going well, and the ‘dream hash’ flashed through my mind… And of course then I got to the check that screwed me over! I checked straight, I checked right, I checked further right, and then set off left – finally I could hear the pack approaching from behind. I was wrong again! Where was the trail??? Even with the help of the other FRBs it took us another 5 minutes or so to find the trail, and the pack set off again – knowing that we must be turning right soon…

Of course we got it wrong when the trail didn’t turn right, and kept going straight. Finally we followed Square Rooter around to the right, and it was Poo that took up the pace along the mud roads back towards the A site. Brown Finger was on a mission to chase him down, but he did the right thing checking the dummy way at another junction, while Graven and I jogged along behind Poo. A further check, and it had to be to the left, but with Poo and Graven already checking there, I gambled on straight. There must have been some fuck up as it took forever to be called, by which time I’d started paralleling into a field surrounded by barbed wire. I had to head back, and ended up with 8k on the clock, some ways behind the true FRBs. We Are F R B!

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27th October – CH4 – Horny Monkey

Posted on October 27, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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A Horny Monkey run, from a random moobaan in San Kampaeng? What should we expect? If you set off with low expectations, you surely won’t be disappointed?!

Earlier in the week I hadn’t read the directions correctly, and then advertised on facebook the wrong directions – so sure enough I was already getting things wrong on the way to the runsite. Braindead!

There was a good group ready to set off, and jogging off I got the first check right through a bunch of dogs / birds etc. I hope people heard me call! Horny clearly didn’t get the message about not going into rice fields, as we were quickly deep in the muddy paddy fields, to cut across to a road. Along the road to the right we got to the checks that Horny must have been most proud of. A V check had me one side of a canal, while NOYB went along the road, I hit the circle, and when I got back from checking the obvious way, I found everyone else already on the other side of the canal laughing at me. Bugger – but a nice check, well executed – I’ll remember that one!

We slid our way through some shit following Skiddy, until a circle check on top of a concrete bridge had the pack back together. Skiddy had checked the obvious way, while we all were convinced that it wouldn’t be over the barbed wire fence that Humperdick pissed on. It turns out we had to paddle through Humper’s discharge to continue. A false trail had me back at the front with Graven & Baldrick chasing me along the road to the unique double arrow check – I’m not sure that check will catch on Horny!!!

We were close, the finish was near, and I could hear Graven changing gears, but I nailed the next check. We were running along the side of a canal, and at a junction the trail went left 20m or so to the circle check. I knew it would be there, but absolutely fucked it up. Go on… Have a good laugh at the GPS track below…

Seriously though – an excellent Horny Monkey run! (Shame about the OnOnOn!)

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20th October – CH4 – Big Top

Posted on October 20, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Talking to Big Top late last night, she was confident the run was nailed down and it would be a good one. So we set off to 10k or so along the Sameong Road, only I set off a bit late forgetting the run started earlier. So when I got to the run site with None of Your Business, we were already chasing out of the A. Fortunately we managed to find the back of the pack, and quickly caught Kwazi Moto and Tip Toe.

I hit the front off an early check, and then quickly fucked up. We headed through a guys house and into a ‘mine’. A strange check had half the pack climbing up the side of the mine, while Humperdick went 150+ metres to find the trail coming back to 50m from the check. Confusing calls as the next check was closer to the previous check than the trail had been! We made it over the ridge and down into the valley the other side, to where it appears the hare screwed up…

Skiddy was leading the way and found his way down to the roads. He also found an easter egg – a secret trail that we weren’t meant to follow – why was there paper there? Further confusion as we could see paper in one direction, and hear Skiddy calling in another. A circle check with trail from 20m on. We quickly got out to the main road. I checked my gps – a bit over 2km into the run. The trail headed along the road, and not so far along there was a check. It confused everyone, as nobody wanted to keep checking on the road, but sure enough the trail went along the road. And on, and on, and on along the road.

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15th September – CH4 – Mr. Poo

Posted on September 16, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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The words “Monumental Fuck Up” have long been associated with hares such as Horny Monkey & Turkish Delight, but today we had Mr. Poo as the hare – could he break into the elite group of haring disasters? Well, he tried…

When I arrived Poo was already covered in mud, sweat and powder, so it was slightly confusing when he announced he’d be live haring and ran off carrying just 2 small powder bottles. The hare brief was so brief & confusing that we didn’t really know what to do. Rather than chasing him, we sat down and discussed things for a while and when he didn’t show up again, we reluctantly set off in the direction he’d gone.

At the 2nd check Semen Sores ran into Poo coming the other way. Apparently he had got lost, chatted up some monks and thought we would be somewhere else (other than on his trail). SS was so surprised that he forgot to ravage Poo, and let him get away. As reinforcements arrived we found the powder, including an arrow that pointed in the wrong direction. Itchy Bitchy was about to head back to the A saying ‘screw this’ – Able Seaman hadn’t even bothered setting off. Incredibly Kwazi found trail from further along the path and we started to piece things together. A couple more circle checks and there was an option to go up the mountain – Suckit was scared off by a bull, but Kwazi, Hump me Now and myself set off up the hill, only for trail to be called off to the right. Kwazi opted to keep going up the hill, and after a brief toilet break I went back to set off on the true trail. Only when I got back to the circle, Mr. Poo was busy ‘fixing’ the trail – he started following Kwazi up the hill.

Still confused I set off after the “ONON” calls, as Poo told me it didn’t count as catching him – apparently we were supposed to run the pre-laid loop before having our way with him. Up the hill, and we ran into Kwazi going the other way. The checks were easy now as we knew where the trail couldn’t go. As I checked off the last circle, I suddenly spotted Poo making a break for it, laying powder from off to the left. He promptly wrote the On-In over my shoes, and raced with SS back to the A bucket.

If the objective was to confuse us, he succeeded…

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1st September – CH4 – Square Rooter

Posted on September 2, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Square Rooter, Square Rooter, Square Rooter… Why, oh why, oh why???

He was looking even more smug and proud than usual when I got to the runsite at Doi Suthep – what had the wily bastard put together for us this time? One thing could be sure – it wouldn’t be flat… The hare brief promised us around 4km, that would take over an hour – shit, shit, shit… Why had I come?

We set off into the water fall, and even though the trail took us along the concrete path, the rain and moss made that a slippery, dangerous adventure. I found myself the wrong side of the waterfall at one point, but decided it was probably the better side to be as we would inevitably rejoin at the road. And at the road the trail continued on scrambling on a muddy, slippy, path barely gripping to the side of the mountain. When he’d had enough of that, it was time to climb. Up, up, up one of the main trails.

With Suckit and 2 Dutch boys up front, I settled into a comfortable climbing pace, and eventually got to a V check where both were calling check back and heading back… A quick gamble and I decided that Suckit was probably correct and the visitors probably didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, so I went to the right and sure enough the trail scrambled through shit to cross over to the other main artery. Square Rooter must have enjoyed manufacturing that ‘connect’… With hardly any trees to hang onto, and just wet leaves to slide along, it wasn’t much fun, but I managed to get across and hit the inevitable circle check on the other trail. I suggested one of the young Dutchmen ran up the hill, and like a eager rabbit he did just that. I chose the trail down, with little intention of coming back if I was wrong – sure enough there were soon calls off to the left.

I figured it was the little loop SR had used a couple of weeks back, and they would rejoin us at the clearing, but the calls got fainter as the trail must have descended sharply towards the Boy Scout Camp. From there, what goes down must come back up, and I quickly got back to paper – with a kicked out circle from the wimp trail. There ahead was Frozen Dick with the hare – FD can either talk or walk, but not at the same time, so I quickly caught up with SR keen to show me where the rambos would rejoin the trail. As he described what he was putting them through, I wasn’t sure if he was trying to encourage me to go back and do it all, or congratulate me on my short cut – either way I wasn’t remotely tempted to climb back up the hill, only to go back down one side, to climb back to where I already was – the better option seemed the 600m or so down to the cars.

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25th August – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

Posted on August 25, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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With Suckit back in town, Itchy had him help her set the trail – rather than celebrating his return, she forced him out into the hills to set a run… Knowing the team up, I had high expectations for the run, and as usual I wasn’t disappointed – why can’t every run be like today?

A slightly delayed hare brief and we were set off down the dirt road. An early circle check, within 100m or so, had us reluctantly milling around while we waited for Big Top to call on from straight on. We followed and quickly hit another V check. This was where things may have got confused? I checked to the right, and soon spotted the pink post it’s heading way up the hill into the distance. Meanwhile behind me Big Top was leading everyone else along the false trail – apparently they ran past the check back and needed a group meeting to verify they’d gone the wrong way…

I didn’t see or hear anyone else again…

Sometimes on those lonely nights at home, when you’ve jacked off enough times, and your trying to get to sleep, just occasionally your mind wanders to the hash, and you dream you’re out on the trail, running through the hills. Occasionally you might just let yourself dream the ‘perfect hash’ – where you hit every check, nail them all and run in like a champ. You may throw in the odd bit of parkour or free running as your mind leaps over gorges and swings around trees. Perhaps it’s just me? The gap between dream world and reality is vivid, and it’s rare to nail all the checks… Was I dreaming? Was it real? The stories in the circle told of unending troubles with the pack struggling to find the trail, yet when I ran through, the dots connected, the stars aligned, and the route opened up in front of me like a geek suddenly decoding the matrix. My calls were futile, the pack 15 minutes back, and things were perfect, until the last check…

At last I got to see what a check back looked like, damnit! It didn’t cost me much though, I was home free and tucking into a beer. With no HRA, Chuckie or Poo, perhaps the odds were in my favour, call me a racist if you like, or let me have my moment and savour it! One day you may have the ‘perfect hash’…

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18th August – CH4 – Alice

Posted on August 18, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Alice comes all the way over from Saudi, and when he steps up to set a run, he generally puts plenty of effort it – generally! We heard from Baldrick about how he’d been awol all week hiking around the hills in search of virgins, or virgin trail. The bunnies also had a special run today though, so the numbers were a little low, so when I arrived with legs already aching from yesterday, it was ominous to see HRA & Humperdick (still recovering from Dengue) as the only true FRBs about. It could be interesting.

We set off and I got the first check wrong – typical! I rejoined Humps & HRA at the 2nd check, where HRA was forced to do the dummy run, the wrong way down the hill. The last time he made that mistake as he turned into a circle guard unless he was certain he was correct… We cut inland for a loop, before heading back out to the road through tall grass. Along the road a bit further before Alice found the trail he wanted us on, and we headed for the mountains. I was hitting the checks well, and doing my best to set a reasonable pace, but when I finally got one wrong, HRA, Square Rooter & Humperdick appeared right behind me.

A little confusion at the top of the hill and HRA managed to slip away from us as Bend Over and Baldrick joined us in a second pack trying to chase down the silent running HRA. We ran through another old runsite, and I realised just how far we had left to go… From then though the checks were mostly straight ahead, and we had no chance of hearing HRA again. I ended up doing the stupid checks right and left while Humperdick ran ahead and Bend Over guarded the checks.

All in all a damn good run, a bit over 7km so my legs will definitely be feeling it tomorrow!

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11th August – CH4 – Horny Monkey

Posted on August 11, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Horny kindly stepped up to the plate so I could spend the day with Terror Byte for his birthday, so I figured around 5pm, it was time to get away, get some exercise and see what he’d come up with… Expectations are generally low when you see HM on the hareline, and he generally finds a way to fall short of even the lowest expectations…

Anyway, the fitness park between CMU & the zoo – about 800m from Horny’s house, the closest you could get… Rather than waiting for the rain to stop this morning, he headed out to lay trail. Failing to prepare is like preparing to fail, and when HM realised that powder probably wouldn’t last long, he cut up about 5 pages of the yellow pages (into tiny tiny squares) and proceeded to try and set a run with it. The yellow pages has several properties – first when it gets when it quickly vanishes, 2nd, when it is cut small enough it looks exactly like the leaves it’s been dropped in and when used sparingly, is impossible to lay a trail with!

Horny also forgot about taking anything with which to lay checks, so improvised by graffiti – spray painting circles on the street. And it turned out the street was in CMU. We had to climb over a gate to break into the uni grounds – as I work there, I wasn’t sure quite what to think, but hey – On On! Confusion reigned from the start of the run, until the point that the majority of the pack abandoned the effort…

Highlights(?) or lowlights(?)… Well, laying the trail through the College of Arts Media and Technology – I hope no one recognised me! HM also decided to skirt around the women’s dorm, and take us right by the Men’s Dorm – anything we should know? Anyway – across the other side of the uni, by my office, with cars driving all around us, it was impossible to hear anyone call, and trail was hard to find, so I gave in and headed back to the B site (fortunately HM had told us he was taking us ‘home’). Not far behind me, half the rest of the pack also gave up (but without really knowing where HM lived) – fortunately I intercepted them walking aimlessly around on Huay Kaew Road. As for the rest? Who knows? After close to an hour and a half, I set off home for dinner with Terror Byte.

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4th August – CH4 – Human Excrement

Posted on August 4, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Why does Human Excrement hate us so much??? Perhaps I should ask Klaus Barber to do a write up – I’m sure he really loved today’s run – not! 😉

Last time I was at that runsite, Human Ex was being trained by Skiddy, and they decided not to go to the top of the hill – today, without Skiddy holding him back, Human Ex showed his Square Rooter style… – see a hill, and find a way to get up it.

We set off and things were ok. With some hairy visitors, the pack was strong. We ran through a couple of checks, and a couple of places there could have been checks, before we entered the valley. I checked to the left at that circle, as I really didn’t want to go into the valley… Sadly, the trail led us into the valley – with home advantage, I knew there was no way out without going up, and Beautiful Box and I contemplated finding a short cut when the trail headed up concrete stairs.

Somehow I got to the front at the top of the hill but when the downhill started it was trouble… The hare had found a trail up the hill, but not really bothered to find a way back down. It was a vertical descent that had the pack scattered. The likes of Chuckie stormed by, and Able Seaman leapt off the mountain. For those of us carrying injuries it wasn’t so easy going – and poor Klaus Barber some way behind had real troubles with Frozen Dick. Fortunately we survived, and had time to send the hare back to hare school! He scouted it 5 times??? Seriously???

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28th July – CH4 – None of Your Business

Posted on July 30, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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It was supposed to be None of Your Business’s second haring. the first one was a great run that got torrentially rained on, so I was really looking forward to this one. He’s a great young man and a great hasher and even though several hashers were out of town for a male outstation and several women were at the end of the month Bunny hash, a nice bunch showed up to support our young hare prodigy- or so we thought. Dad did the hare brief and admitted that he and the two younger brothers did the lion’s share of setting the run-the hare cut the paper. We set out towards the road , with NOYB running with us (a certain give-a-way of his true haring status) and got to the first circle check by the road. I thought for sure they would go across the road and bike paths so i did a flying leap across the rain gutter and twisted my ankle only 100 meters into the run. I walked along the bike path certain that the run would come to my side of the road at the next check. Wrong again– so i caught up with Reverse Thrust and we walked along the dirt path that took us to the dam. I assured Reverse Thrust that BMY usually hates hills and certainly would avoid any hills with his freshly healed ankle. Wrong again- So far I am 0 for 3.

From the top of the hill over-looking the dam, we spied His Royal Anus proudly prancing across the dam. We followed the girls on a minor shortcut up the spillway to get to the dam and once we crossed found a kicked out check leading us through snake infested bushes to a village and up another minor hill to the road where we saw Dr. Byte in his car checking us out. There we crossed the road, heard on on calls and found our way to the calls where we caught up with the pack at a circle check by a small gully. Seeing footprints in the sand in the gully, i followed them until i heard the on call. Wrong again. I never caught up with the pack again and actually lost the paper near the horse farm. I did the only thing a habitual DFL could do at that point- follow my GPS back to the circle.

NOYB was our GM for the day and with some prompts from dad and others did a good job running the circle. After the circle was closed we socially drank for a while and then took off for the Hash Pub. All in all, a very mellow and enjoyable run and circle.

FD

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