Category Archives: CH4 – Write Ups

Does Nothing picked Adorable Blue Balls again as his co-hare. Last time I was the only hasher to find the trail, and found lots of prizes on the way. We set off and as usual Junglicious set an early pace, Chuckie and I enjoying following her up the hill. We all ran past a hidden circle check down hill to the left, and as they found the circle behind us, so we found the trail on ahead. Great trails, we looped around, a bit up and down, but soon enough we were at a new circle check overlooking the last circle check.

A bit of confusion, but soon enough Junclicious called us over the hill and CW & I were chasing her down the trail, through the gate and into an orchard. I’ve been here before and as the top 2 choices were taken I went to check under the barbed wire ditch – its an option, but very overgrown at the moment. It wasn’t a surprise when Chuckie called on on and I made my way back to trail. Take it steady I thought, pollution was horrid. Up hill a bit and rounding the corner I came to a bunch of confusion. The trail ran out. We spent 15 minutes hunting in every direction… There was no lack of trying… When the confusion ended, the trail must have been sabotaged…

The unfortunate bit was, the sabotaged part of the trail was right before it broke right or left. Breaking right was most likely – that is where the good hashing trails are. I went 4-500m in that direction looking to intersect paper. Talking to the hares after, it did break to the right, but…. we didn’t find it. At that point (40 mins in) we had the choice of hunting up the hill to the right, or down to the left, so we all in turn came back to the left. Enough polluted air – time for beer!

Thanks hares for putting in the mileage, sorry we didn’t find it, but at least you have a run in the back pocket…

10k south on canal road, kids in tow, time to get the family back in the Happy Hash. Given the runsite, there couldn’t be hills, so we were set for a run.

Sadly the hare forgot his stapler, or staples, so we were running on paper strips that weren’t stapled to leaves etc. This lead to several ‘non-checks’, where we weren’t 100% sure if we were on trail or not. At least that slowed the FRBs down a bit!

I was going well early on with Chuckie, but it was a long, long way to the first check. Graven always walks to the first check, but even he must have started running before then. Finally when we got to a check, I of course got it wrong and found myself chasing to catch back up with Chuckie, who fortunately got confused at a junction without a check. Around the corner and there was a circle… – We know how much ABB loves his back checks, so immediately turned around to find the trail. TMB seemed confused, but the same happened shortly later – we rounded a corner, I spotted a circle check around 50m ahead, so turned back. This time NOYB cut ahead of me enjoying the ONON call – he enjoyed it so much he ran straight off paper in the wrong direction.

Another long running stretch, and then after another check CW & GI took over control at the front with TMB, I and a virgin following along behind. Trail kinda run out in an orchard, but I found paper again further on – did we miss a check? Graven was flying as he chased us down, sensing the finish. He flew face first into a V check to make sure he got the first choice, and left me and the virgin to find the last false trail.

A fast run, and a good run. I would have liked a few more breathers with a few more checks, but the hare made us work hard. It was nice to finally run naturally – with luck my knee is recovered…!

An unusual location – a kinda Skiddyish location in Saraphi – there were certainly be no hills, but how many bridges? I ignored the directions and meandered my way to the runsite – cheers for the extra signs on the alternative route! A decent turnout with the ladies showing up to see what Cumalot was putting on.

Junglicious set the early pace nailing all the early checks with the philosophy – “just go straight”. Angry Inch was following her leaving the rest of us to futile checking. Finally she got a V check wrong when she checked left, when the true trail was of course straight on. A short while later we hit the rice fields – I think I get 3 emails each week from HRA telling me to stay away from the rice fields, and yet he was instrumental in a rice fields run – circle checks on the edge of ricefields are likely to get rice trampled… A check took forever for Brownie to balance over a single bridge, while most of us went around and intercepted Graven at the trail further on.

And then… I made a mistake… Quite a big mistake in terms of hashing… Having checked too far to the left, I could see the hashers making their way across a rice field to the north. I figured if I went around the edge, either the trail would turn left and I would meet up with them, or if it turned right I’d be able to cut across. It was a left/right gamble, and I got it wrong… Badly wrong… A little old lady came out to scream at me how wrong I was, so now I couldn’t even turn around and go back. Then I was on the outer ring road, running into the evening traffic, with the smog amplified by the exhaust fumes.

I finally found a place to turn back towards trail, but by then it was too late, so I was left with surprising the likes of Running Bare, Chilly Pussy, Anything & Tip Toe from behind. Skiddy may have left, but his runs are still in use!

Any proximity between the doi and the aforementioned Square Rooter is purely intentional. So much so that Scooby said he wasn’t coming, as he didn’t fancy an hour of steep up and down just before the ball breaker. However cum 4:30, there he was with Human Excrement, Baldrick and the Great Baldini listening to SR’s hare brief. Usual stuff about flour and an ominous warning: there’s places to run and there’s sections that aren’t places to run!

As I was walking with Balders et son pere to begin with, I didn’t see Browny, Graven, Sloppy, Poo and Taste My Buns etc battle it out in the van. But I did hear about the Bald family road trip to Cambodia, it was good to talk, however I am now deaf in my left ear after a near rocket experience at Down Under bar on NYE, so for once I had to listen carefully.

After a road and scenic rocky pathway going up into the forest, we missed the trail going off right and met the sweeping Rooter. He took Norman on his reverse trail while self and BD hit the trail the right way round. It was initially very steep and tricky going down and we knew it was a good decision to trust the Great Baldini to Rooter’s infinite care.

After a check on the rocks of a lovely river bed- cum- waterfall I headed straight along the fence path down and through a couple of narrow ravines. No paper… wrong! BD found trail going up parallel to the stream bed and we followed a well set path thru lovely woods until another check had us back across the water way.

At some points we could hear voices yelling and got excited we’d catch the pack – wrong again Alice, ye of great faith but little ability. Baldrick told me about his new job in a new school in China as we finally jogged along flattish, root covered and stony paths under the trees. At a junction we met Rooter who directed us towards home. The Great Baldini was castigated for being a SCB and we ran in as the pack were enjoying the fruits of their labours to much raising of eyebrows and where were yous!

A mild and inclusive circle showcased HRA’s hidden talents for public office and splashes a plenty were doled out. But no beer for Taste My Buns, as Semen Sores learnt. Bob the Bullet from Bangkok was welcomed back, I recall running with him on a Butt Filler run ten years ago which overran into dusk and then a drunk local had crashed his rusty junk bucket into Butt Filler’s new truck as we started the circle.

ABB was chosen as TMB’s champion of choice as the Bavarian bullet complained of freezing buns and other bits. Snowballs was punished for smoking in the circle and said we were lucky it wasn’t weed! Toe sucker adorned the ice as co-hare and Cumalot also had a nice sit down with her boys. Horny was iced for being crippled but looked really sporty in his black tracksuit with chavvy white trainers and cap.

Enjoy your hashing while you can, Father Time catches up with us all eventually. Hashy 2015 and here’s to the hares and the packs that follow.

Onon,
Alice

‘Twas the day of Christmas and all through the hills
Not a creature was stirring
Except for a herd of hashers yelling ‘On on!’

Things were a bit quiet at Next Place at 12:00 and we wondered briefly if people had better things to do on Christmas Day than to go runnin in the mountains. However more and more people turned up at the runsite (including Shagless’ huge and confusing extended family) and a solid 26 people were there for the run.

The hare brief explained there would be bits of paper to pull out of stockings, with instructions about what to do with ‘presents’ in circles, more instructions on trees, powder, Christmas-themed strips of paper and V checks (just ordinary V checks). Hilarity ensued as we set off on the run and Shagless ended up with a hat, Square Rooter and Devon with dresses and lipstick (on the nose) and Scooby Doo had to go back to a previous check and dance around it singing a Christmas song! Later we found ourselves on top of a mountain singing a special version of Jingle Bells (“Oh what fun it is to run, with Browny/HRA!”), shortly before ending up on the wrong side of barbed wire ad taking ages to catch up with those in front.

A wise Square Rooter stalked Running Bear to the mistletoe check, while Mr Poo failed to score with Scooby Doo or Seamen Sores, and Graven Image was very glad to be up the front with Taste My Buns.

I’d been slightly worried that the run might be a bit of a token effort, relying on gimmicks to slow everybody down, but we did a goo 5.9 k and FRBs came in at just under an hour, with Dogshit mysteriously appearing from a side road and catching up with them for a while near the end.

During the circle Doesn’t Get It’s daughter, May, was named Mai Tai, due to her terrible Thai (allegedly) and her love of alcohol (and her name May). Steve was welcomed back, and congratulated on not running up any mountains this time (he’s getting the idea).

Things only got better from then on as we headed off to HRA’s house for Geng Hang Lay, turkey, mashed potato, ribs and an assortment of cakes and biscuits from TMB (Taste My Buns, not Thai Military Bank).

Excellent Christmas Day! Thanks very much to Brownfinger for the turkey, to HRA for his hospitality (till he got bored of us and turned the lights out) and both of them for the great, entertaining run. Also thanks to Cumalot, Knockout and Taste My Buns for the excellent food

My knee is fooked. Cutting it fine, I stumbled out of the car and followed the pack out of the canyon restaurant. While trying to warm my knee up, we were immediately on uneven ground, scrambling through shiggy. It wasn’t what I expected from Taste My Buns! We found some trail and there were some checks going on ahead, but I wasn’t really involved, until utter confusion with random people randomly finding random circle checks randomly hidden! The co-hare Adorable Blue Balls was on hand to explain what was happening…. – Unfortunately as I missed the harebrief I didn’t know ABB was the co-hare, he just seemed like another hasher who was adamant that I shouldn’t go through a barbwire fence, even though it was clearly marked with paper! How did he know I was the wrong side of it – or as it happens the right side of it?

To temporarily reconfigure my confusion levels there were OnOn calls and I set off in their direction. A chorus of hashers behind me shouted “not that way” while ahead of me the “OnOn”‘s were clear, and Mr. Poo was running with confidence ahead. WTF was going on? I wasn’t on trail, the calls were now to the left, and Mr. Poo was stood in the middle of shiggy looking confused. Ack. I hacked my way over and joined the pack as we headed towards the hills.

The hare was obsessed with barbed wire, forcing the pack through small gaps, to the point where she took us through barbed wire for a circle check that came back out of the barbed wire. The short cutting FRBs missed that part and they were already into the hill. Up, Up, Up – the hallmarks of ABB rather than TMB!? Several times I broke off to the left looking for an alternative route, and at my 3rd attempt I found a nice trail that cut back down and rejoined the pack on their way back in a gully.

We were close to back but still a few more hare tricks to contend with. Some imaginative connects. I can only imagine how we were supposed to finish, I know I didn’t finish as intended, but I was happy to be back. With hindsight, I should have rested… The drugs only work so far, I dread to think how I will feel tomorrow!

I guess Frozen was the hare, and Humperdick his cohort… But we were back down in the Dick Brother’s country, 6-8k from Sameong. I got there early, missing the traffic, and went for a bit of a warm up jog before the hash. No trouble from my knee, but a gift of a splash to the bemused hare.

Harebrief over with we set off and I knew we were close to areas I knew well, but I wasn’t quite sure exactly where we were. I got a couple of checks wrong while I figured out my sense of direction, and after a long wrong check, I got back to the front by one of Frozen’s favourite checks. A cross roads, with a circle check. We’ve had the same check several times now, coming from several directions. The obvious ways are the road trails, but there is a sneaky little footpath that you barely notice – unless you remember it of course. You’ll have to find another sneaky check, as it didn’t get me this time!

We got to the go kart track, and I opted to follow the route of a recent run, and found the trail running around it. Another circle check, close to where we’d had a check last Thursday, and again I’m on fire! Voices fading behind, I was off and running up a gentle hill. Another circle check on the road, and BAM! I am back behind Brownie, Graven and Poo again. We headed into the orchard, and I had a sneaky suspicion we were heading to the Dick brother’s favourite trail along the back of the hill.

Circle check on the edge of the orchard had me running up to the main trail that cuts through the woods. No On-Call yet… I carried on, and got to a circle check the same time I heard calls from my right. Carry on up the hill – OnOn! Then a circle check on the ridge… That caught us out. We often exaggerate how long we spend on checks, but that was a good 5 minutes according to my GPS, and I think that only records time in motion. Either way Junglicious was just to my left when she found trail, and Graven was just to my right. Unfortunately with canyons all around, and the On-On calls echoing around the rest of the pack struggled to figure out where we were.

Some more tricky checks, but the 3 of us broke away from the rest. We came down out of the hills and found the remnants of a circle check. Graven emerged to my right and that seemed the obvious way to go… After about 100m there was another circle check. On the top of the hill we’d gone circle to circle – we thought – although with old trail around it was a bit confusing. We had a good idea where we were, and with Junglicious just behind us, we continued and found trail. Where was Junglicious? She had been just behind us… Oh well, GI and I ran in together, kindly allowing the pack the opportunity to have fun with checking while we enjoyed a cold beer!

A great trail – many suggested it was just slightly too long, but seemed ok to me. Some excellent checks…. excellent, excellent checks. Good work Dick Brothers.

For me, the joy of the Happy Hash was the lack of committee, and the democratic nature of the community. Was.

Without a car it took some efforts to make it to the hash, racing a motorbike into to town after work to catch the songthaew. Almost my first experience on the sardine can songthaew – with Brownfinger and Pigshit hanging off the back, for the most part we were too busy focusing on breathing regularly for conversation. With a few inches view past Brownies ass, I was trying to figure out which way we were going, where we were going in fact. Impossible… I stumbled out of the back completely disoriented, next to an unfamiliar shelter.

With plenty of time, Piggy gave his hare brief – he was so organised he finished it well before we were supposed to be running, but what the hell, he set us off anyway. Around the corner on a trail, and finally I figured out where we were. Up a steep hill that my car has struggled on before, so no surprise I watched as Brownfinger stretched out ahead. I was feeling lazy, maybe I’d save something for the end?

We broke off to the right, and twisted and turned. Where the hell were we? We kept going left, but the trail was heading right? Why didn’t I recognise anything? Surely these weren’t virgin trails… We were in some farmers plantation climbing steeply up, and then running steeply down. The pack was kept together with some good checks that had us all over the place. He’d warned us about barbed wire – sure it was worse than the motorbike scene from The Great Escape – no way to jump over, just scramble through it – he’d marked it all? perhaps he’d missed a bit. Brownie squealed from up ahead. I was in a daze, braindead from end of semester?

We got to the latest single player barbed wire houdini effort. Single file led to a pile up. Brownie, Graven and Junglicious were clear free ahead while the rest of us scrambled through. When we got clear we turned left. From there on the trail was straightforward. Looking at the track I’m amazed we were only half way through!!! The front 3 were clean away and had no intention of kicking out checks (to be fair you could see the paper after a couple of steps)… I picked off a couple of runners and was running / walking along with Poo and Knockout. When we headed back towards the trail that we’d set out on I was horrified that we might end up going back over another frigging hill to get back. Fortunately the hare went out and corrected the trail and the first check was replaced with “On In”.

Piggy was dutifully punished for his misdeeds. By the time we got to the on on he was still achieving tasks like ‘standing’ and ‘swaying’. Nice job sir!

Graven and Brown Finger… again!! Are they the only hares in town? In Maejo… again!! What the hell – I’d had a great day at work, and managed to get out to the runsite in time for the run… When the songthaews arrived we had a huge pack – 3 songthaew’s full!!! Lots of visitors, so a thorough (ish) hare brief – to be honest I wasn’t listening… We were set off and Humps and I ran off at the front.

I am very familiar with this area, having set many, many runs from that runsite, and scouted the area to death – which perhaps gives me an unfair advantage? First check, and chances are it is going to be left, I went left, and there was powder “onon!”, until there was quickly a V check that pointed the wrong way… “Damn! – False Call! Check Back!”. They’d made the same mistake that Big Top made on 8th December 2013 – the trails there are too close together for that. Back to the check and people were completely confused – Follow me! and finally Gorf called on from the correct junction. Knowing about the V-check meant the next check was easy, and I was off nailing a few checks with Chuckie getting one wrong behind me.

Up the hill, and now I could rule out quite a few choices at the checks – there is just no way of getting back reasonably if you go another way. I got away at the front, and my “checking” calls were from the next check along. I got to the trail at the bottom of the hill… Going left takes you straight back towards the “A”… too soon, unless they add another loop. I turned right – and no trail (I guess 120m isn’t far enough?), I went back and tried left… 120m and nothing. The overgrown trail? nope, it’s still overgrown… By now everyone was caught up, so I cut across to the parallel trail, and partway there Adorable called from the right (where I’d checked first). A gamble, and with CW following we intercepted the trail moments ahead of Adorable.

A false trail off to the right, and I should have been splashed for racism, as I shot off back on the right trail. Another circle. When Big Top set the same run, it caused us problems – turning left takes you back too quickly, so the temptation was to go straight on down. CW and I did, and eventually I heard Piggy calling on from over to the left. DAMN! 2 choices, go back, or possibly do a long cut around… Another 50m and I was back on trail. It was the same run… I jogged back on trail until Gorf and Piggy came running towards me, then I turned around and rejoined them. So now Gorf was chasing my ass and geez that guy can run, even late into the hash he’s looking in great shape.

Fortunately at that point, the route back was pretty clear to me… It was nice being able to keep pace with Gorf, and call him back when he was going off trail. Through the quarry, back to the main road, and there was Graven, still laying trail… Turn left, back along the road. Gorf was distracted by a false trail, and I slipped past him! OnIn! Woohoo! It was a great trail the first time, and a great trail again today, but the credit really belongs with Big Top!

I went out for 10k last night, so set off to the hash feeling a little sore, and hoping for a short HRA effort… Even before the hare brief it was clear it wasn’t going to be short as the hare moved from group to group saying he had no idea how far it was, just that it was long… Uhoh…

After a hare brief that makes Square Rooter seem like he has all his conversations on twitter, we were finally released. The hare brief, while detailed, only gave a small clue to the direction of the run. Fortunately we figured it out and followed Brownie as he scampered through a field. A quick water crossing and then we had a few small bridges to navigate until we got to a very overgrown disco shelter. Wow has nature taken over – we used to have circles there and park there, not any more..!

We knew where we were though, and we were on familiar trails that haven’t been hashed for several years. Rather than turning towards the mountains, every opportunity took us towards the village, and there were quite a few stretches on the road. At least it was flat. We kept turning away and further away – how far was this hash??! There was good rotation and the checks were great for keeping us together. I was trying to conserve energies, but managed to keep up with the true FRBs.

We ducked down towards Bone Hur’s area – again not been hashed for a while, but perfectly good. Finally we started turning towards the hills, and with the trail being so close to previous trails, I have to say the hare did an excellent job of keeping the trails apart. The right checks in the right places – it was well thought out. We came back very close to the out trail, and even though we’d been checking towards the back trail several times, we could never have screwed it up. Great job!

Finally we got back – I had 8.7km on my GPS – man I’m tired!