Category Archives: CH4 – Write Ups

The CH4’s 600th run – needs to be memorable! The last run of the year – perhaps saving the best for last? A harebrief finished, and we were off down the hill…. – I remember this start before, and with a good km of downhill running, I set off with the pitter patter of Able Semen behind me. The first check, and surely it would be straight on down the road – I did a double take at the junction when I spotted paper to the right – I ran over, it was a bit close, but definitely the hare’s smug face on it, lying on the ground. I didn’t call it, and sure enough the trail was straight on down the road.

The next check was tucked around the corner from the junction, so I let Poo climb the hill and followed NOYB and a visitor down the road. Then the 3rd check. NOYB went left (the best choice), so I went straight and found paper at the next junction. I followed it to the right, and sure enough another piece stuck on the fence 30m further on. Strange, but 2 papers with the hare’s ugly mug on, “ONON”. We spent a deal of time hunting around for any more paper, Brownie going one way, Diddly Squat following me another way. I found some powder… There was no mention of powder in the harebrief, but who knows? After a while Brownie confirmed the powder was from his wimp trail a couple of weeks before. We wondered why there were no calls from anywhere, and kept hunting for a continuation of the confusing paper. Finally TMB went back to the check which had now been kicked out (to the left), and the walkers had all filed through. I must have been a km behind the FRBs by now.

If only that was the end of the fuck ups. Sadly it wasn’t. I caught some hashers as they came back from a “Wimp” trail – unmentioned in the harebrief, and with no clear indication that one way was a wimp trail – just a trail that ended after some distance. Hashers were coming back and insisting we go down the trail to the right. At the bottom, it seemed like everyone was checking straight on at a circle check. Somehow I was back at the front checking correctly to the left, into a gully. When the gully split, I chose to climb and check the hill in between the 2 gullies. Finally a call from my right, so at the top I edged to the right and found trail. After a while I figured out each bit of paper had a “W” on it – I knew from previous Alice runs, that might be Wimp trail paper… But going which way? Graven in a similar spot picked right, I picked left. I ended up out in a field with no sign of any paper, or hasher.

Time to hack a way back. I found out why we hadn’t hashed in the part that I was stuck in, and in the end scrambled up a steep bank. I paused and heard sounds above. “RU?” “Hello” A while later I got to the top and found a confused Denise (Ozzie Virgin) stood at the last piece of paper she could find. No idea how she got there, but sure enough there was the hare’s face on a random bit of paper at the top of a cliff. She was understandably concerned, but I encouraged her on in the direction of the A-bucket. She didn’t look like she wanted to believe me. I spotted Square Rooter on trail and coaxed her over to him. Square Rooter took over rescuing our virgins, and I jogged off overtaking Tiptoe, Sweet Pea & Wooly Jumper.

Ack, I was finally home… A long way off track, tired and weary. The beer was cold and waiting! At least there was the circle to look forward to! I began to wonder if we would finish the circle with the new year countdown – I guess we succeeded in finishing off ALL the BEER! Hashy New Year Hashers – lets look forward to more hashups in the next year! OnON

Maejo, up by the reservoir past the Tiger Head. I was scrambling out from work to get there on time, and would have done so had the “A” bucket been clearer… Instead I joined Knockout, Horny Monkey and Tiptoe as we drove back and forth looking for the runsite. Finally all assembled and paid, Graven seemed not very motivated about giving a hare brief, which perhaps wasn’t so helpful for the virgins!

We set off down through the scout camp and around into the valley behind. An abrupt left and up the hill. Always some great trails out there. Brownie (the co-hare) was sweeping and collecting the paper… Meanwhile somewhere behind Stiff and his daughter were late and trying to catch up, so Graven was busily replacing the paper that Brownie took down, and was too late to set part of the In-trail for the walkers.

Up ahead we were having lots of fun… Parts of the trail were just missing, but with a large enough pack stuck together we managed to figure it out. As well as I know those trails, the hares had me turned around in circles. And at the crucial moment, I was wrong… I lost a lot of ground chasing back to get back onto the intrail, but caught up in time for the climb over the small hill at the finish – sadly no rope to climb down.

Meanwhile somewhere behind Stiff wasn’t having so much fun! Impossible for him to follow long stretches where Brownie had taken the paper down. Finally he bailed out and spent time on the road in the dark trying to find his way back. Brownie felt bad and headed out with a torch looking for them. When Stiff finally made it back, we were just missing Brownie… So Square Rooter set off to try and find him. Brownie finally came in, which prompted Toe Sucker to head out looking for Square Rooter. Sadly when Brownie came in he was covered in blood, dripping down his leg. A huge gash and something lodged in. He looked a bit shocked, and was quickly hustled off to hospital with KO & Poo. Finally everyone got back in time for social drinking after the circle. It brought memories back of when Graven and I lost the whole male hash in the dark at about the same spot!

After several years of Chack Wow and Mr Poo setting the Loy Katoey run together we decided to let some new blood have a crack at it. This made sense in theory as we’d been starting at Does Nothing’s restaurant and Pet My Pussy actually knows about charities, but how would it work out in practice?

Unsurprisingly the charity was for animals, and started at Euro Diner. Turnout was a bit low. Maybe because the festival was a bit later in the year than normal? Still the girls looked beautiful, and soon so did the boys! Dodgy Cock and one of Suckit’s guests looked particularly fetching.

Does Nothing had elected not to set trail but to tell us where we were going in advance. next Place made sense, but Thaphae East and the Edge? What and where were they? The unflappable Does Nothing handed us a map and wished us luck.

After a beer at Next Place most people decided they wanted to go up Loi Kroh to Marina bar to visit the other katoeys. It turned out they weren’t coming out to play and the bar was shut so we set off to Thaphae East. It was a nice bar. Far too nice for us, and the people there seemed a bit nonplussed by the blokes wandering around in dresses. Luckily the beer was cold, though some went off to 7/11 where they had change. Meanwhile Suckit’s guest (name?) raised a large amount of money by having his photo taken with cute Chinese girls. It’s a hard life…

Also working hard were the kids, Obscene did a great Oliver impression and used his winsome face to great effect, while Het Top bravely asked anyone he could see for money and was very convincing.

Finally we made it to the Edge where the loud techno music scared off Graven Image. Here the beer was not so cold, but it was cheap at 60 Baht for a small bottle! There was a lovely circle site down by the river and the circle was short and sweet while we abused the hares for all their hard work.

After the circle we were all glad to see Cumming Slow, who drove us back to Euro Diner to get changed and continue drinking. We don’t know how much money we raised yet, but in the meantime good work everyone! 😉

Sweet Pea teamed up with a vibrator to set a Happy hash run tonight. From by the old football field (currently under construction) at the Ag. Center, we set off towards the crematorium. I jogged along with Chuckie, who was clearly chomping at the bit, while at the same time complaining that I was already jogging – it must be the added Brownfinger competition! We got to the first check together, and he cut me up in his determination to check the obvious way. We were both right – heading towards the mountains. The next check I was wrong, but carried on and jogged around the huge field, and along the trail at the bottom of the hill – its a great trail, I love running it, and sure enough there ahead was Knock out checking at the corner – that was a long cut, but I got back into the pack as the vibrator decided to insert the trail into the bushes, driving upwards into the jungle, slightly moist from the recent rains. Meh – someone nominate me for the “Bad Sex in Fiction Award”.

I was chasing up the back, but refused to give up, keep on pounding, keep on driving forwards up and deeper into the jungle. One by one walkers paused to take a breather, but I just pounding relentlessly, deeper and deeper. I was tired and seemed to be making little progress – the vibrator had already been there in the afternoon. I heard cries from up ahead, begging me to keep going on and on! Finally a check, and finally we broke off to the left with Chuckie leading the way. I got to the check as Poo came back down from the false trail. We hacked our way along the side of the hill, before going off trail and hacking our way back down the hill. CW may have been leading, but as paper turned to ribbons and to tissues, we grouped up ready for a final releasing burst as we finally exited the jungle.

At the bottom it was a pretty straight run in, nice job – thanks for setting!

The first run Gorf has set in Chiang Mai – now that was worth the effort of slipping out of work for. It was a familiar run site by a quarry around 5 clicks along the Sameong road. We began with a hare brief… It was necessary – the hare had torn up the Chiang Mai Haring Manual, and done everything completely differently! This was going to be interesting… Today Circle checks weren’t going to be circle checks, they were going to be…. well… different… there may be false trails heading off circle checks, which would lead to the inevitable of hashers calling onon from all different directions. False trails wouldn’t be marked with a bar as we are used to, instead they would be marked with a cross check, so if we saw a cross check we should go back, rather than checking the 3 options. Other kinds of false trails would be marked as circle checks with crosses in them and if we found one of those we should also go back, but not as far as the last check. There would be a “W”alker trail, but rather than marking it with a “W” it would be marked with an “S”. The hare explained it all clearly, and I thought I understood – but for poor Stiff who arrived 5 minutes late, he was completely screwed. Circle checks were now kicked out in all directions and the other markings were… well french?

On On to the trail! We set off through the temple, and with monks sweeping the trail I felt it better to whisper the check back I found. We whispered the OnOn until we got far enough away from the temple. The hare had found an different way through – it was new for me. So new that I explored and alternative and rejoined the pack a little further on the trail. HRA took the lead – afterall a large part of the run copied a run he’d set some time back. The run headed inevitably towards a section that I really don’t like…. The view is awesome overlooking the quarries, but with a steep drop to the left and a sheer drop to the right, while scrambling through shiggy, and the only trees to hold on to fall apart in your hands… Argh! The vertigo kicked in.

Finally I got past it and caught back up to the FRBs. Knockout lead me astray when she found one of the dodgy circle false trails… HRA calling to the right, and Knockout calling to the left – who would you pick? Of course I chased Knockout down the hill wishfully wondering if everyone else would follow HRA – instead a large group of us found ourselves the wrong side of the mountain, while we could hear HRA somewhere the other side. The rest backtracked, while KO and I took the more direct vertical route to rejoin the trail. Somewhere up ahead was HRA & Graven – YAY! Great to see Graven back!

The next section was familiar, but its a great running trail – a good workout on the climb and then nice views as we arc around the valley. Finally HRA got one wrong and I was back in the mix. HRA, Graven, Piggy, Any Fanny Will Do, and I were up front (perhaps admiring the use of the Oxford Comma there). The descent was on and we charged back down the mountain. Another circle check, and I followed HRA in the wrong direction. Perhaps he didn’t check far enough? I checked much harder and took the route through the orchard to jump out back on trail just ahead of Piggy as we came to the final check. He sportingly waited for me to take the right route back around the quarry, which gave me 100m or so on him, enough to survive after the OnIn to the finish.

Nice run, nice circle – cheers Gorf!

Deja vu! A trail from the back for the Ag Centre, where we hit the mountains… When I uploaded my GPS track, Strava matched it with a run I remembered, and thought had been set by Square Rooter – I accused him in the circle of recycling, but it turns out by chance he had set the same run as Cumalot – to the point that my bad checking choices were also picked up! You can read the previous write up here:-

http://www.chiangmaihhh.com/2014/08/01/31st-july-ch4-cumalot/

Today I gave Piggy a commentary on where the run went as though I was reliving the run. The little trail that runs along the back of the wall. The check where the evil hare had tied ribbon to barbed wire to protect us, even though the barbed wire wasn’t on trail!!! WOW Square Rooter – that is haring diligence! Decoy to the extreme – I learnt a new lesson in haring today! I was cursing you at the time, but excellent, excellent work!

I was way way behind after the early check and I jogged my way back towards the pack as we ominously headed towards the hill. The run had been billed as “Exciting”. Ack… Any other hare that might be appealing but for Square Rooter to bill his run as exciting meant pain for me! Yes, it was the hill that I had predicted, and I climbed up with Piggy, not far behind CW, giving Piggy a thorough briefing on where the trail was headed. The checks weren’t difficult, even though I felt I was running (or walking (or climbing)) in a time warp. CW, Piggy just followed me. No effort to check, just relying on my memory. I was bursting, exhaustion, the climb is a killer, a 200m elevation gain. Finally I stepped aside and let the train pass, just 200m from the ‘top’, but I was spent.

We turned abruptly right and descended. The FRBs broke free, and I was left with KO. It was pretty much straight down… down, down, down… Finally we hit the lake, and I knew we were around 400m from the cars, and the beers… The trail was marked sharply left… I declined and headed straight back in, pretty much as Cumalot had set in July 2014….!