Category Archives: CH3 – Monday

7th October – CH3 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on October 8, 2013 by mrpoo| Leave a comment
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As I limped to the computer to write this report I remembered the CH3  meeting where Byte My Yahoo suggested a ‘mini ballbreaker’ and the excitement with which a group of naive hashers welcomed the idea.

All went well to begin with, the bus left Next Place earlier and fuller than normal and became even fuller when None of Your Business jumped on as we slowed  near a McDonalds on the way to Mae Jo.   The hare gave us a quick hare brief and we were off.  It was a lovely area and having walked up a hill and past a temple we has some great running trails, and Graven Image to tell us how far we had to go to the 7 km beer stop!  One cunning check unfortunately had loads of traffic at it for some reason and so communication was bad, leading to the tragedy of  Sloppy Rod catching up, having arrived 15 minutes late.

NOYB started strongly and some accused him of inside knowledge! However it was a cunning plot.  A long series of fairly obvious checks lulled the FRBs into a false sense of security until they almost all followed NOYB in the wrong direction while the back of the pack caught up and found true trail going off to the left!

The beer check had much needed sustenance and we swapped Frozen Dick, Tiptoe and Sunny for Baldric, who coyly pretended he didn’t know which way the next few checks went, despite having past them minutes before.

The second leg of the run was also a lot of fun, until we found the check that would take us 10 minutes.  Graven and Sloppy went straight and eventually found a checkback, but decided that even that was old paper.  Poo went back up the trail and hashers spread out in all directions.  Eventually Scooby found paper leading off to the left but 1) it appeared to have been ripped off the trees and 2) surely the hare wasn’t stupid enough to make us go off into the shiggy at 6:20 as it was getting dark?  Apparently he was and we enjoyed a scramble down a slope where visitor Cum Lord was impressed to see how Humperdick shepherded his flock to make sure nobody was lost, “Scooby Doo!  Where are you?”

Thankfully the hare was waiting at some barbed wire and we escaped from the jungle before complete darkness and were guided down the road by BMY’s car.  Frozen Dick (the bitch) ran a very good circle and we headed off to Sausage King to stuff ourselves!  Success! :)

edit: NOYB’s GPS track…

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16th Sept – CH3 – Horny Monkey

Posted on September 16, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Mr. 100% man Horny Monkey! At 4pm I was chatting with Poo as a storm came by – my office grew dark, the rains came down, we both debated whether to brave it or not… Fortunately when I got there the rain was easing, and co-hare Tip Toe was strolling around with an air of confidence, although he was noticeably concerned about a lack of Monkey.

Finally the hash cash showed up, we had an elaborate harebrief where 1 skiddy stick just wouldn’t be enough to get the point across. Harebrief done he pointed us off straight into some thick undergrowth – that was only the start… The thick undergrowth was mild compared with what was to come. We got scratched up with the typical Chiang Mai stickers, Sups took a face plant, and we ended up going around in circles in a “field” – memorable as I remembered another crappy run there! That inside information let me avoid one deadend, but I still hit plenty of skiddy sticks.

We finally hacked our way through the fields and finally hit a short bit of running trail. Short… it took us up to the road so we could hit some tarmac. The last bit was bizarrely twisty. We know Horny likes to set 10k runs on a postage stamp, and today was another one of those – well 5k anyway. When we got back to a bridge after a 2k loop, I realised how close I was to finding the wrong true trail. I guess it worked the way he intended it to, and certainly kept us running around in circles.

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9th May – CH3 – SkidMark

Posted on September 9, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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What do you expect? Skiddy from the flats to the south of CNX – during rainy season… I expect to get wet…

At a restaurant and dinner ordered, we got our hare brief and set off. I planned a steady start and watched as Humperdick & Horny Monkey set the early pace. Along the road and I assume they were calling, but it was drowned out by the cars. The first check took us across the railway, and the 2 FRBs danced in front of the train leaving the rest of us to follow behind. Soon it wouldn’t matter – it was on to a trail hacked out of the fields by Skiddy’s machete. It was hard going and certainly not running terrain… The reward at the end? A set of Skiddy sticks hidden disguised in the long grass… You know things aren’t going well when it’s Sups’ whistle that leads you the way…

We ran through a huge construction yard, with the simple goal of reaching the highway, and ran along the highway with cars flying past at 140-160kmph. A moments refuge and a beer with the promise of beautiful ladies and the delivery of a grumpy father. Whatever, we move on through Skiddy’s favourite bridges and danced through some trees. It was time to haul ass, and put some effort in. We crossed the train tracks again, and I spotted a bit of paper across the road, woot.. With a small mistake I nailed a few checks and was out ahead. We were nearly back, and surely I had it in the bag… A glance over my shoulder and there was Suckit, Poo and Horny on my tail. Another check – goddamnit! It has to be to the right? surely? not to the left? But there didn’t seem a way through, so the 4 of us checked down the street to the left… Only to hear Ting Tong calling back to the right… AAARGH! So close, but at least the food was good!

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26th August – CH3 – Superman

Posted on August 27, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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What did Sups have in store for us 11km south on canal road? He showed up early and drove straight past the runsite to ‘check’ on his paper after a storm had past through… He seemed satisfied that the first bit of paper might be there still, so it’d be good enough… Then the excuses started – mostly to do with him and Superbitch getting stuck out in a storm and only just finishing on time.

We set off and had a long trek along a track / road to the old burning place – several trails heading off to the right, and surely we were going to take one of them? No checks, but we were kept together as we tried to decipher what was left of the paper that had been washed off the leaves. Eventually I spotted trail heading off to the right, and left the newbie visitor to run down the road to the inevitable false trail. Meanwhile I ran into the next false trail and we were back together as the trail mysteriously disappeared around a temple. An impromptu circle check and finally Humps found trail heading into the woods.

Suckit joined us at the front as we broke out into ‘his terrain’, and with him knowing every blade of grass he was soon bounding ahead. Again few checks, and when we had checks we just filed forwards till we got to paper. At one point we seemed to be on newspaper, so perhaps we’d short cut?

Finally at the last check, I thought Sups might have a bit more up his sleeve, he might throw in one twist at the death? Nope – the rains must have washed out all imagination and we rounded the corner back to the A.

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19th August – CH3 – Frozen Dick

Posted on August 19, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Frozen had been begging me to go for days, confidently claiming virgin terrain and a memorable ridge, so I got out of work to go along and see what he had in store. He launched into the hare brief with a pun about golly gullys and something about a ridge. We set off and within yards of the A bucket we hit the first circle check. With a steep hill up to the right, I headed straight for the higher ground – Skiddy went straight, while Horny set off in between towards a quarry. I was nearing the top of the hill when Horny called from somewhere below to my left – the trail was bending to the left, so I decided not to give up the higher ground, and keep going – luckily I ran into a circle check and some paper, and moments later spotted Horny below me calling the next Circle – On On!

Having checked one way, I set off the other way, and found paper down the other side of the rise – rounding a corner there was a tempting trail off to the left, and I could have put money on imminently hitting a false trail – sure enough, I picked up the stick and met the rest of the FRBs as they got to the true trail. Shortly later a V check left Skiddy the wrong side of a gully, and I got the first pick at a circle check in the next gully. Climbing the ridge beyond, there was a nice little trail heading up the hill. Skiddy called OnOn from right beneath me and I could see his bald head scrambling along a gorge about 15m straight down beneath me. I decided (again) not to give up the higher ground, and kept going, running into the trail a short while later.

We headed up, up, up and I hit a few checks right, before Alice caught me at a circle on a ridge that went several ways. I followed him along a good running trail that went along the top of the hill – made for hashers! At the next check Alice bore right and down, while I bore left and down – perhaps my better sense of direction? Either way I was on, and swung from tree to tree on a fast descent. I got to the bottom and recognised the little clearing with a circle check – we had been here before, but from a different direction – perhaps an Anything run? A good check there had me a long way in the wrong direction, and eventually trapped in the wrong gully. I couldn’t hear anyone, but had a good guess which side to climb out, and as I reached the top of a ridge, the rest of the hashers were crossing a saddle just below me. I quickly cut across and found Soapy in the lead, only for the trail to cut sharply left and Skiddy to take over.

Not that it’s a race, but the lead was rotating nicely. It was down to timing, and ‘only being as good as your last check’. I got to the last check with Skiddy, and turned tail straight back in the direction my gut told me the cars were. I was right, and Horny joined me for the OnIn. Hopefully it won’t go to his head, but it was an excellent run by Frozen Dick!

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12th August – CH3 – Soapy

Posted on August 12, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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After so many years of hashing, I’ve never managed to run on a Soapy run – apparently that’s because today was the first time he’s set one!!! After 7 years of planning, 7 years of preparation, 7 years of examining different runsites, this would surely be the greatest run in hash history?!? Well, at least not as bad as Horny’s run yesterday!

At the run site there was a good turn out, including 2 young athletic looking types, who hopped out of Humperdick’s truck. More Dutchies!? With no Dogshit, I guess they figured they’d try and get back to quota? An elaborate harebrief, and we were set off down a familiar hill, straight into Suckit country. I let gravity take hold and found myself alone at the bottom of the hill, following trail to a V check. Turkish (who from now I on I will refer to as “C”, short for “C*NT”), ignored the check and came with me up a short hill. At the next X check, he again ignored the check, following me along the straight option. The lazy “C” wouldn’t check on his own, so I went back and tried another way. He stood and watched, and eventually we were both wrong. I didn’t hear him again all run, and if I don’t see him again, it would be too soon.

Fortunately the “young bucks” knew how to play the game, albeit with a racist theme… Things got a bit confusing a couple of times when the trails cut back on themselves, and pretty soon we were cutting right and arcing back towards the A. Too soon surely? He’d said it was short, and he didn’t lie about that… After 3.25km I was back at the A.

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22nd July – CH3 – Turkish Delight

Posted on July 22, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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I have very low expectations when I see Turkey’s name on the hareline, but being determined to get out there and do something, I set off as it was close to town. The area behind the new expo on canal road puts us somewhere between the boy scout camp and 700 year stadium… I’ve been curious what was back there, and was quite surprised to drive up to the runsite overlooking a large lake that I had no idea was there.

Turkish was beaming, but the sky was darkening, and Chuckie was looking concerned. Sure enough the rains started moments before Turkish was due to give his harebrief. And it was torrential… We were all very reluctant to set off, but there was no sign of it easing and Turkey had clearly put some efforts in. Chuckie ran to his bike to get his poncho and followed along behind us vainly trying to keep his feet dry – ha!

The rain kept coming, and in slippery conditions I found myself quickly at a point that I didn’t feel comfortable getting through with my dodgy ankle. Frozen Dick passed me his walking stick, and I got through! My vanity made me pass the stick right back! I’m young – I don’t need that! Until after about another 100m or so, Frozen Dick suggested I would be better off with the stick – and he was right… Getting through the first km or so was tricky – we slipped and slided our way around the lake which had looked quite nice before, but was now just a mudbath that stank like a raw sewage overflow. I’m sure when Turkish had set off it would have been fine, but by now it was treacherous. Behind me CW kept dawdling along, chatting with Sups – they were clearly going to short cut at the first opportunity. I kept on going trying to stick with Dirty Pervert.

Thankfully we got away from the lake and headed into the hills, along some great trails that I knew must be there, but I didn’t recognise any of them. We cut through a barbed wire fence – did Turkey do that? Not sure what we were getting into (or out of?), but the trail was good. I was keeping up as Skid Mark and Humperdick did all the work up front. Each time they screwed up, I managed to get back to the front and I lost count of how many times Skiddy skiddied by. One particularly memorable check had the 2 FRBs charging down the hill, only for me to find trail back up the hill – I was astounded – sure Square Rooter had helped set this trail – there is no way that Turkish was capable of this??? Fortunately there was good camaraderie between a small field, and we worked together to find the way back, as I confess I was lost and disoriented.

A fun mellow circle was followed by the realisation that on a “Buddha Day” all the bars / restaurants are closed with no hope of more beer etc. A few of us ventured to Nong Flukes, and were greeted with the realisation, that while they couldn’t sell us alcohol, they had no objection to us bringing our own in! Fortunately I had a few leos in the car (as one does for emergencies like this!) so we ended up having a remarkably good OnOnOn! Again, I’m not sure when I will get to type this again, but ‘great job Turkish Delight’!

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10th June – CH3 – Square Rooter

Posted on June 12, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Uhoh… Square Rooter as the hare… and he’s chosen the Boy Scout Camp… We know you can’t find a flat run there, but somehow Sqroot always manages to find even higher hills for us to climb. I was searching for excuses – some niggling injuries, perhaps overworked? But the runsite was right next to my office, and I would have to drive past it to get home. Oh well, lets give it a go…

It started as expected with the trail leading straight up the side of a waterfall, and it didn’t get much better! The hare had warned us not to check to the left at the first circle, but the trail set off to the left anyway, but only briefly before a steep scramble down (the last we saw of Belly Dancer), only to start climbing again – relentlessly.

There was a brief moment of enjoyment as Turkish Delight enthusiastically followed trail up a steep part only to find a circle and have to come back down again. Finally we reached the ‘top’ and started descending. Newly named ‘I-Ran’ took a nasty tumble and bleed his way back to the circle. Exhausted! About 3km, but a good 45 minutes work out – longer for Belly who came in from the wrong direction some time later.

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27th May – CH3 – Turkish Delight

Posted on May 28, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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I showed up a bit late for the run, and arrived mid hare brief – that meant I missed out on the alternative instructions for V checks. Moments ahead of Sups & Humperdick I set off to chase the pack down.

A bit on the road and then up into the hills – it was HOT!!! Sucking down oxygen it was hard going, and with limited checks catching up was impossible. Chuckie ran through the first 5 checks or so, and the pack was split up.

I finally caught up with Swing Low and we straight lined down the side of a cliff ripping trees up in the direction of the calls… – only to find Superman smiling smugly at the bottom coming from another direction. My legs weren’t working, it felt like running through jam, so Sups and I decided to re-check one of the confusing V checks, fortunately finding Chuckie blistering the pace back into the bucket.

Actually a great trail, great route, just could have done with a few more checks to keep people together, and give a chance for the late comers to catch up!

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20th May – CH3 – Belly Dancer

Posted on May 21, 2013 by admin| Leave a comment
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Why does Belly hate us so much? At some point he must have realised what a bad idea this run was, and he emailed around encouraging people either come early, and he’d laid a different trail that was easier. Why didn’t I listen?

I set off not long after the early pack had set off and soon enough caught up with Frozen Dick heading along a familiar trail used recently by Semen Soars. Up ahead I started checking one circle and then caught up as SS found some skiddy sticks. The paper had been hit by a storm and was hard to spot in places, so we were continually confused as we searched for trail around the fields. Finally we got onto a trail that ascended into the mountain. I hate hills. This trail up wasn’t so bad though, in good shape and not so steep that it was definitely possible to keep walking on, and happily I emerged to the circle check at the ‘top’.

The circle was on a saddle, with choices of up one of the hills either side, or down the back, where the trail split into multiple options. I tried several of them. The stormy wind was whipping around and carrying the ‘On On’ call with it. I was confused and lost a lot of time trying to find out where the pack was. Eventually I went back to the circle, and everyone had already disappeared. I was alone and made my way along the side of a ridge, scrambling to stay upright in the steep parts, hanging off trees, until I spotted Humperdick beneath me – literally about 400m away, straight down the cliff face. WTF? It only got worse. Rather than using one of the nice trails that ran down the hill, this was a straight line descent, alone, with storm clouds darkening the skies, weary legs. Humperdick disappeared.

Finally I got to a flatter part, with an identifiable trail to follow. But it was too late, my legs were like jellies, and it was all I could do to amble along hoping this time I might escape in daylight. I did – just! And not too long before HRA who had apparently set off another half hour after me!

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