Category Archives: CH3 – Write Ups

29th Feb – CH3 – Chuck Wao

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 9.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Leap year day… Meh! the run was right outside my office – I could probably have sat in my office and heard the onon calls, so of course I headed out to get a piece of the action.

The A bucket was from the corner on the way to Galae Rest. Several options from here, but most involve a climb. Brownie was first out of the gate, and a circle check had most of us wanting to check up the road to the dam by Galae Rest. Brownie bizarrely picked down, and was eventually rewarded with powder. Fortunately we were running downhill behind him, but the next check took us up. I gambled on the hare taking us through the compound to the gate at the far end, but was sadly wrong… Very wrong… I was a long, long way behind climbing up the hill.

My legs felt like lead weights. Every step was a struggle. I pressed on, but not with too much effort. We hit the nice flat trail that runs along the “bottom” of the hill, and they were still checking. Some inside knowledge – of course it is right. So I slipped past Brownie as he came charging back down the hill, and Piggy coming back from the left. It didn’t last long – I conserved energy as they swept past. I felt shit, and all of my fears were realised when the trail headed up the hill. Yup – I’d been here before, but normally in the other direction. Dam this is a bitch of a climb. I was trailing behind the pack, and struggling – I was so tempted to give up and go back…

Damn this strava is keeping me honest! I conserved energy and pressed on. I was grateful when we stopped going up and edged our way along the side of the hill. I saw Brownfinger standing at a corner, having come back from a false trail, and then again stood at a circle check – very unlike Brownie! This time Poo was the only one checking up the hill, but heading up and over to the pilgrims trail seemed the obvious option. Sure enough we were right, and there was the circle check on the Pilgrims trail. Poo was ahead, heading right down the hill. Damnit, no way I was going up at that point, so I followed. Thwarted – finally Brownie called from up the hill. Shit, again I was off the back of the pack, and somehow we were climbing up the mountain again… Where the hell was he taking us?

I got back in the action as the leaders came back confused from a false trail. An excellent check that had them all over the place. Finally Graven found it, and I followed him down a deathly descent. Brownie I think was taking undue risks on the descent to the waterfall, but we got to the circle together with Graven already checking down the waterfall – he was checking down as we could see powder down there, so we followed. The next circle was great. No obvious trails, and it could be anywhere. I had no idea, and I’ve scouted this mountainside a lot. Off up to the left and this seemed like a trail, that turned into a proper trail. How have I missed this one??? This was new to me.

Piggy was right on my tail as we breezed past the hare hiding in the bushes. I knew the run would involve a fast descent, and now it had started. Push onwards… Straight into a false trail. Nice work CW, very nice! Damnit! And a nice switch back – I was just lucky to finally find the waterfall crossing before anyone else. Moments later I was back on the pilgrims trail, and hell I was running. Fatigue gone, I was running.

At the bottom of the trail, the trail breaks up all over the place before coming together again. Descending to the right is shorter, but steeper and more dangerous. The loop to the left is safer, and I think faster, so I opted for that, and heard about the circle check later when Graven hit it. They were still chasing me as I hit the road. Pushing on, I allowed myself a glance over my shoulder, Graven & Piggy were there, but far enough back. Could I hold them off?

And then another false trail……!!!! Mothafocka!!! So close to home, but still lots of action left. Next we had the waterfall slippy slide. On the road, and I needed a rest. I let Brownie go down the hill, as I headed up to the right. Wow! I was on, and heading towards home with Piggy. You are only as good as your last circle check. Piggy gave me the choice, and I should have known it. I knew I was wrong 5m later.

Excellent set, some really, really good checks in there.

Check out the evidence on fly by

8th Feb – CH3 – Crap Thai & Sunspot (Run #1100)

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast)

And so, it came to pass, as the moon came into phase that it was the (Chinese) Lunar New Year & Spring Festival to be celebrated along with the CH3’s celebration run number 1100.

The faithful gathered at the “A” site; in Mr Poo’s front garden (read: abandoned car park) before the appointed hour where we donned our new special “Chinese New Year” t-shirt; sponsorship arranged by the Hare for this special occasion, thanks Sunspot (and Dusit). Resplendent in red, splashed with Chinese characters and the usual hash regalia, we were OFF with ‘measured haste’ towards Loi Kroh Rd. The first circle check was a bit too close to BUDDY Guest house for comfort but most were relieved when the trail moved West away from Buddy and towards the Garden Restaurant in a district peppered with guest houses, restaurants and small bars. We made our way towards Thapae Road, moved along on lots of powder due to expected heavy pedestrian traffic. More checks, some back checks etc but not too difficult to follow fortunately because of the cacophony in the district, we moved in closer to the target trail moving through Wororot market which was all decked out for the Chinese New Year celebrations, lanterns everywhere and throngs of visitors many dressed in their Chinese finery, and we, dressed in our Kung Hei Fatt Choi t-shirts, fit right in.

Meandering through the Chinatown area we finally hit the Ping river where powder became less clear but found on the tree trunks heading north towards the bridge over the river at Kaeo Nawarat Road. There was a back check under the bridge but that didn’t fool anyone except Space Invader who was racing around like a blue-assed fly anyway, just let him go… Crossing the bridge and down to the river frontage and under the bridge heading North but that came to nothing (FT I guess…) and the real trail proceeded South along the river’s edge with many pleasant, ‘local’ bars and restaurants. As we approached the new pedestrian bridge (to be finished soon…) connecting Wat Gate to Wororot Market, we came to find the first beer stop which despite the GM’s assurance was well-briefed in advance, were NOT prepared for 20-odd hashers showing up for a quick beer or two, the pack being ‘mostly together’.

It was here that the GM dislodged the fireworks he had been carrying in a small backpack and with the help of the local restaurateur, set off a round of firecrackers to celebrate CNY. There was also evidently more significant fireworks ready very near by for the sunset display which we were able to observe at the circle. The Hares really went out of their way with the fireworks but we had to move ON ON. From the drink stop, we moved East, through a few small alley ways and towards the back of Wat Ket Karam and along the road (Saraphi Rd/106?) along the river frontage along Riverside & Goodview restaurants back towards Thapae Rd obviously turning towards home. Along the river the trail took us to the On In which was on the East side of the Iron Bridge where the Hares arranged a second beer stop, this one being more substantial than the first, this being more-or-less the END of the trail. After some considerable indulging, the pack slowly made it’s way back to the “A” site where Tiptoe (injured and unable to do the trail) was patiently waiting with lots of cold beer for the pack. The official length of the trail as measured by the co-hare was 5.2kms. Even Superman was happy! (or maybe not…)

Circle called by the GM, and the usual offenders & sinners called in to be “close to” the ice. Alas, there were no big ice blocks to sit on as we usually do so the best we could do this time was to get the offenders to stand on or near existing crushed ice/cubes etc. As the sun was setting we did see and hear the fireworks go off (thanks Hares!)

ABB

1st Feb – CH3 – Cuckold

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Cuckold seems to like the area by the Sameong Road football field… He was enjoying a beer at a local bar as we showed up, wondering what he had in store. Pre-run, my only hope was that we didn’t have to climb the temple steps…. How soon do such aspirations fade?!?

The hare took a cane to bully us into a school boy hare brief – he would be sozzled, but was he sozzled already? We were pointed off, and rather than taking the usual river crossing, we had a little paddle (or foot spa). Paper was a little thin, but we managed to piece the trail together to the edge of the rice fields. They looked great! So different from last time I was there, someone is clearly putting some attention into them. I chose right, trying to spot paper in the distance… Nothing… When I finally saw powder it took me a moment to figure out we were on paper and powder. On on, and I was off with Lumber JO not far behind.

No checks through a couple of opportunities, and then powder straight up a steep climb. It was early days, so I decided to run it, and went into a small canyon / gorge? There was a circle check. It was a very strange place for a check. I was suspicious straight away. My gut said, go back, but being first there, I thought I should carry on. I started up the hill to the right, but then LJO cut in front and headed that way – he never came back… Instead I checked down to the left, facing off a fierce pitbull. Nothing there. Back up the hill, and I joined HRA as we tried to see where LJO had checked. Brownie came back down the hill, so we started exploring out into the plantation. No sounds apart from the odd “checking” or “RU?”. I got to the far side of the plantation, and kept scanning the horizon for paper – nothing. Poo called “RU?” from further away to my right. “Checking” was my forlorn reply. I realised there were no more “checking” calls from behind me, so headed back to the circle, which had already been kicked out. Muthafukas! I turned back to call Poo, and he was following me past the attack dog. An excellent check, where the acoustics just didn’t help the callers.

I turned the corner and could see 400-500m ahead, and no hashers. We were seriously behind. I pressed on, assuming Poo would be following at some point. Finally I caught Tiptoe, just before the trail took and ominous turn UP. This was a serious climb. Nearly 200m height gain, in a bit over a km. More importantly, WHERE WERE THE CHECKS??? I was off the back of the pack, and no checks to give me a chance to catch up. I passed junction after junction, and there were no checks… WTF? Was this a race or a hash? Pushing up the hill I picked off a visitor and HRA, chest exploding.

Finally a Wimp Rambo split… but it looked more like a Rambo / Lemming split as the walkers seemed expected to throw themselves off the side of a cliff – a new level of sadism for the hare? The trail continued to climb, but finally I could see some hashers ahead. There must be a check – it looked more like a picnic to me from a distance, but before I could get there, they were continuing further up the hill. Luckily I could settle into a gear and slowly move forward. My break came at another check, where the majority of hashers wanted to head further up to the right. It had to break left, so I followed Brownie down to the left.

We were on, and it was down… Brownie jumped out the way to let me past, and finally we could open up. I charged down, straight through one check, trying to guess where the hare would cut us across to the rubber wall. It was inevitable. I was wrong. I went left one junction too early. Fortunately Graven was powered by gravity and went straight on at the next, even though we could see powder heading through the resort. So the hare avoided the temple steps, but instead took us up the resort steps… I was growing weary, and I knew we were a long way from home.

Over the hill and down to the rubber fence, so obviously left that he didn’t even bother with a check. No chance this pack was getting back together. And then a RR/WR split? That wasn’t in the hare brief. I saw Graven & Brownie heading back up the hill, and opted to go around. LJO joined me, but then he took off as I tried to just keep jogging along at a steady pace. It wasn’t long before GI & BF came back from their little adventure up the hill and past me. It was a straight on in with no chance of checks, but the hare was waiting to poison hashers with a toxic juice not long before the finish.

A tough 7.75km run with a serious climb,,, I guess the hare was thinking, better to be too long than too short….

25th Jan – CH3 – Horny Monkey

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Brrrrrr….. It got to 3:30pm, and I took one look at my beer fridge and another look out the window – I wasn’t sure which was colder. The beer was tempting, but some exercise first right? I changed and headed to the car – wtf? The moment I stepped out the front door, I was regretting my decision. Bitterly cold, gusting winds – was this UK??? I had hardly driven around the corner when I needed to switch on the windscreen wipers… It’s January in Thailand ffs, not England!

Horny was the hare, at one of his favourite spots in Maerim – he loves setting runs when he’s trapped between the river and the golf course, so I had the route mapped out in my head before I got out the car. He was stood shivering in a rain jacket. What was I doing there?

The songthaew arrived and a gaggle of hashers started huddling together. Horny called 5 minutes to harebrief, meh… we wanted to get moving, warm up and get it over with. Finally we could set off and immediately headed into a construction yard. Even Graven and Chuckie set off at a run as we all tried to warm up – I still can’t believe how cold it is! First check was straight along the bank of the small river heading towards the Ping River. Another circle, and it had to be to the left. Piggy got to the obvious spot first, and turned back leaving the other FRBs having to head over to the river. As they ran off, I said to Piggy, “are you sure?”. “I guess I could look a bit more he said and ambled slowly back that way while Graven lead the rest of the pack in completely the wrong direction. Sure enough, after giving it enough time for them to warm up, Piggy called us on from exactly where we all wanted to go.

Then it was shiggy time. Not your average shiggy, this was the deep dense shiggy that no one in their right mind would try to hack a trail through. We know Horny isn’t in his right mind though, some how he’d ploughed through – no wonder his co-hare didn’t dare show up. We hacked our way along the side of the river, and then a circle check across the bridge. Tricky one Horny… I checked a couple of different directions, while the rest of the pack scattered. I was cold though, and it was raining, that bitterly cold UK rain. I headed along the road, and intercepted trail with the pack behind me (is that the definition of short cutting?)

Around the corner and an old favourite circle check by the temple – well, he would’t want to put paper down through the temple, so I respectfully jogged past some bemused monks to find trail heading into the rice field. There is a bridge along here, I knew that, but when I got to the inevitable circle, I took the time to check other options, and only as Brownie approached from behind did I go to crawl my way across the bridge – damn I hate those bamboo balance bridges. Sure enough I was on the other side, and when I hit another circle it was time to head in. Cold, cold, cold as fuck. I’m wearing 3 pairs of socks now, and my feet still feel cold.

18th Jan – CH3 – Liberace

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Maejo, convenient for me, so decided last minute I’d pop out for a run. The directions were 2nd U-turn, the small lake, not the one at the Tiger’s Head. I assumed it was the square lake at the bottom of the hill, but there were no signs at the 2nd U-turn. I headed towards the Tiger Head, but started making calls. A hint suggested it was “that place Libbers likes to set runs” – which told me Praphat’s Farm in Maejo. Sure enough I followed the canal and found hash signs – called the songthaew to help them along.

As I got into the farm (very close to where I’d set on Saturday), I saw Libers moving signs around – the route through the farm was tricky – he said some of the routes were blocked with pvc pipes. I found the runsite without a problem, but I was on my own, and clearly Libers didn’t have enough signs. I gave him some more and he set off to place them. I meandered around – 10 mins to runtime, and no hashers in sight. Changed and ready to go, at 4:30, I strolled along one of the trails, and sure enough found some shredded paper. Should I just run? Nah, I went back to the A site. I heard my name, and some voices coming from somewhere, and then Brownie & Graven appeared up the hill. I suggested we set off and after a brief phone call we set off.

By the 2nd check I could hear Pigshit behind – I got that one wrong, so by the time I came back from a 200m check back (WTF?), I was with Scooby following him up the hill, with Poo not far behind. Piggy was ahead, but I wasn’t sure where Graven & Brownie were. They were even further ahead it seemed. The trail crept along the side of the hill over to another Cross check. Graven & Brownie were already through it, but we had to solve it again. Piggy went right, I went left, I guess Scooby & Poo waited for us to call? Finally after 200m again, I hit a check back. I wasn’t interested in doing checks anymore – 100m is ok, but 200m is not fun. Rather than climbing back up the hill I went around the bottom and joined the others on the correct straight trail.

Not much further and there was Brownie coming back from a check. A bit further on and we found Graven stood in the corner of a field. A tricky circle that went back up the hill and looped all around the edge of the orchard, but I intercepted Graven at the far side and after a bit of scrambling up and down, we came out to the motorcross track. A strange cross check. I guess it would have been mentioned in the harebrief? I set off to the right, around the edge of the track, and found paper about the same time that Graven called on to the left. Strange – it was a cross check, so he can’t be on yet. I followed my paper and from the groans the other side of the track, I guess they had found another check back. As I arced around most of the pack cut across, so when I got to a circle on the other side, the pack was back together. Lucky I got first choice and headed towards Saturday’s A bucket.

I was on, but Brownie was on my tail. Another circle check – this time kicked out already to the right. I turned left, following paper and tried to get Brownie to go right. It was one of my checks from Saturday. He paused to make sure Piggy destroyed the check so as not to confuse anyone else, and then they were on my tail. Another V check, and I just got first choice. I chose right, leaving Brown Finger with an evil 500m false trail. That put him out of it completely. Nasty hare. Luckily I ran through Saturday’s runsite, scrambled across a ditch the other side of the road, and there was the OnIn! Just a run around the lake to the finish…. Where there was still no beer monster, and no beer… 6:34min per km pace is quick for the hash, very quick.

11th Jan – CH3 – Does Nothing

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

Back at Does Nothing’s favourite Ob Kham runsite, what would he have in store? A decent turnout and we set off in the usual direction past the mental hospital, maybe we should check in. No check at the first junction, which suggests we were coming back in the way we went out. The usual circle at the bottom of the hill, and I got there with Brownfinger. It is a 50/50 check, I went right, he went left. By the time he called on, I was already at the top of the hill, and turning left, promptly found paper. I ran along the edge of the lake, and sure enough Brownie appeared up the other trail, and called circle check. It was the right distance, so I called him on and turned around.

We haven’t run as much this side of the lake, so the trails weren’t quite so familiar for me. The checks came thick and fast, and everyone was going from the front to the back of the pack. Excellent hashing! It seemed like the checks were just far enough apart that every time I got one wrong I had to track back and slowly move through the pack. A great V check – obviously to the right. Brownie took one for the team, and sportingly checked left. He got over excited thinking it was a circle check, and called us On. I wasn’t falling for that though, and the rest of the FRBs had a grandstand view of his pain as he hit the back check. We couldn’t resist a chuckle, or rather a loud guffaw!

Sure enough Brownie caught us up quickly enough as I checked one badly wrong downhill, and had to clamber back up the hill, only to find us loop around back to just about where I was before. Not as familiar with that side of the lake, so I wasn’t sure which trails were possible. I was foxed and outwitted. We headed for the hill, and ominously there was a climb to the left, and from here we had to head to the left. Fortunately there was a trail leading through a gully off to the left. For some reason most ahead of me carried on straight, and so I followed Pigshit, and Scooby along a stretch that could have done with some more paper.

The hash was going great, really enjoying the run. We climbed up the hill, and finally hit a mud trail – aha! I know where we are now! Circle check, of course it was left, and Brownie was off chasing down Pigshit. Graven joined the chase too, and Scooby was just ahead. Sadly that was the last check. 1.7km on in. No more checks… My 4th km was in 5 mins, busting my gut trying to stay in touch of Piggy, Graven & Brownie. Scooby was running very well, and I just couldn’t reel him in. It became clear there would be no more checks, and finally I got to the OnIn with Poo. Great run, just could have done with a few more checks towards the end!

2nd January – HRA BALL BREAKER

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 10.0/10 (2 votes cast)

With the excesses of the Christmas and New Year celebrations still churning in our bellies, we intrepid Chiang Mai hashers arrived in numbers at the A bucket to accept the daunting 21k challenge laid down by the artful hares for the 2016 Annual Ball Breaker – His Royal Anus and Byte My Yahoo.

At the hare brief, a 21k run through gently undulating country was indeed promised, with 2 beer/pull-out stops at 8k and 16k, and markers at each kilometre. I assumed then that the hares intended the kilometre markers to be somehow helpful, some form of encouragement perhaps? What the f—? I shall return to this cruel joke a little later.

And then we were off – all of us except Seaman Sores and little Able Seaman, who arrived and set off on the run a half an hour late. Able certainly is a tough little fellow, but would he be strong enough to carry his fat old father the full distance, before darkness consumed the trails . . .?

Now, there were a lot of checks, right from the start, and there were mutterings amidst the ranks suggesting there were too many, that we might spend too much time checking to complete the run before dark. At times it seemed that there was a check every 2 or 3 hundred metres. Would we all make it back? Or would the hares be called upon to sweep the trail with torches? Some hashers were getting a little nervous . . .

The first 8k was glorious, leading us serenely through orchards that seemed to trap the pleasant winter warmth, through open countryside and cool patches of forest where shafts of sunlight pierced the canopy to dance before out feet as we ran. In Chiang Mai we are used to runs of 8k or so, and with well-used trails that were easy to run on and well-marked, we were able to complete the first section at a steady, comfortable pace. Even the kilometre markers seemed to pass me bye without undue concern. I felt so good at the first beer stop that I almost believed I could do the entire run with no trouble whatsoever . . . stupid idiot! Oh, yes, I seem to remember now. Wasn’t it Sloppy Rod I witnessed cruising to the front, appearing from nowhere just before the stop? Good on you Sloppy, if it was you, at least someone was ahead of that clockwork-marathon-man Gorf – at this stage at least.

The problem with the second 8k for me was those f—— kilometre markers. As my performance slowed, so did the passing of those sodding markers . . . 9 . . . . 10 . . . . . 11 . . . . . . 12 . . . . . . . 13 . . . . . . . . you get the picture. Gorf didn’t seem to mind though, hopping about the trails like a frog on heat, although he could be accused of being a bloody blind frog too, on more than one occasion missing the paper off a check even though it was clearly visible to everyone else when we eventually got there. But when all is said and done, I think all of us would appreciate the extra checking work he puts in along the way – 26k, a full 5k additional work at the checks – thanks buddy 

Anyway, we eventually reach the ‘Beer Is Near’ sign for the second stop, with that million-dollar-hasher Suckit – who has so much metal in his body I was fatally attracted to him every time we passed – out in front, but Gorf wasn’t having any of it and raced off to be first at the stop. A good number of hashers arrived there almost together – Sloppy, Gravy, Tasty, Piggy, Suckit, Gorf, Cuckold – forgive me if I have missed a couple of names here, I was too busy slurping down the energy jellies BMY had brought , and of course a cold beer, to take too much notice.

And finally we were on the final 5k leg. Gravy, Tasty and I headed out first to find that the checks had already been kicked out. What the f—? So we just kept on running until, that is, we came upon the culprits – Doesn’t Get It and Wet Dream – who were busily f—— up a false trail. They had been instructed, as walkers, not to kick out the checks, but hey, what do hashers do when they are told not to do something . . .?

At this point the cruel joke that was those f—— kilometre markers really did hit the mark . . . 17 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20. F—, I hated that last kilometre. F— you, you f—— bastard hares and your god damn f—— kilometre markers. F— you both!

Anyway, Lumber Jackoff was running like an Elk along the trail, with Graven Image hot on his arse looking to bring him down with a carefully placed arrow to the balls. But Lumber finally jacked-off and went wrong at the final check. But it was metro-gnome (Gorf) who inevitably and deservedly led us home, with Gravy, Suckit, Tasty and Jackoff close behind.

And then the rest of the Ball Breakers arrived, perhaps vindicating the hare’s position that you can’t have too many checks. Robin Banks came in, pleading for attention, begging us to acknowledge the extraordinary fact that he had completed the full 21k. And then the normal(?) Saturday runners came in. But what about little Able and Seamen? Well, it was dark when we finally heard them emerging from the forest. Little Able had indeed carried his fat old dad for 21k – he deserves a hashing medal for that immense effort 

And so we swam in the muddy lake and we ate BBQ and leftovers from Shagless and Doesn’t Get It’s excellent New Years Eve party and much other good stuff. Some of us sat with gaping mouths as the sun finally disappeared behind the lake, over the horizon, in a spectacular sky burst of burnt orange and pastel blue.

sunset

It was time for the circle. What’s this, HRA called into the circle to do a splash? And what a splash!

The stupid bastard dared to challenge Superman about not using chairs in the circle of the Saturday hash. Although there appeared to be some support for HRA’s position, Superman gunned him down in typical Superman fashion. Keep trying, HRA, you might even get your wish . . . eventually

Beers all gone, circle finished, a great day in the history of Chiang Mai Hashing had finally come to an end. Great job hares. Are you already volunteering for next year’s Ball Breaker? You’d get my vote if you drop those f—— kilometre markers 

28th December – CH3 – Sloppy Rod

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Off to the CH3, and when I arrived (5 minutes before the run, I found Tip Toe looking confused and lonely parked at the A-site… At least I had found the Beer Monster! If nobody else made it I would still be happy! Moments to go, and 2 songthaews loaded with hashers showed up, but no sign of the hare. Jack of all trades, ABB, stepped in as stand in hare, and stand in hash cash, and with the latter deferred we set off moments late. The instructions (2nd hand), were go back the way you came in, and turn right – I estimated 4 different trails that fitted that description, but fortunately we found the right one. I trudged off – first circle I opted to the left – surely we would head for the hills asap, because going straight just meant we’d get to the square lake? I was wrong, but a visitor conspired with me to cut across and get back on trail before the 2nd check. This one must be left, as right just takes you back to the road.

Others seemed less keen to check, so I was ahead again as I checked left and left again, finding clear trail just as there were confusing calls behind. I think some of the pack was confused, but Brownie, Piggy & I set off up the hill, and I managed to hold them off to the next check. Definitely checking right as straight or left take us back home. I was correct, and put my foot down, breezing through the next check, and silence behind me. Nice trails for a jog, and then the trail past a couple of nice trails off to the left. Hmmmz… no check…? Aha, finally a circle…. My gut said go back and check at the junction, but my feet disagreed… I checked left, until the trail ran out, back at the circle, and still silence behind me, on and around to the left, up a good 120m, nothing… back down to the check as Piggy ran past – he wasn’t calling so I went back to the junction and got there just as ABB found powder.

Brownie back in the action again, and he lead us up to another circle at a junction. He opted for left, so I slowed down and let Graven pass me. I followed Brownie to the left, and sure enough he was on… It was about then I started feeling not quite so good… 2nd on trail, but my stomach objected strongly to my exertions, and I was forced to keel over vomiting while hasher after hasher past me by offering varying degrees of sympathy or lack of! Finally when Dogshit caught up, I pulled myself together and staggered onwards. I was tempted to straight line it back to the A, but managed to pick up a steady jog over some great trail and started feeling better.

I slowly caught up and found Lumber Jackoff and Scooby up front with Graven, Brownie and Poo. Scooby was running well – strange his GPS had a km or so less than mine at the finish…? The check was close to home, if trail was left, we’d be in and drinking beer, but no, it was straight on, and onto the nice trail that runs along the edge of the hill. Lumber Jackoff was scampering along ahead, and another check offered the choice of left (towards home), straight (up the hill) or right (no chance!). With LumberJO Lumbering up the hill, Brownie, Graven & I headed confidently left towards home… Graven at least shared my misery when we were wrong.

The next check, and finally it was time to turn left. Now though Lumber was so in tune with going straight there was no stopping him. When I got there, it seemed nobody wanted to turn left, so I ran down the hill with Brownie, and when he called on, I let gravity do it’s work and ploughed on. Left at the next check, and we were getting closer to home. Next check I got to powder one side of the fence before Graven found true trail the other, we ran off. We knew we were close… I just couldn’t quite place where we were… Another check, and I took off right. Graven followed, and the mysteriously stopped (now I can picture him checking his map on his watch). You are only as good as your last circle, and sure enough the hare beat me. Excellent trail, good checks, good circle, good hash!

21st December – CH3 – Robin Banks

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Anglo Dutch relations were strained to breaking point during the hare brief as BrownFinger and Robin van Banks argued over pink paper and scared this hasher that the run would be some kind of H.Monkey alike mess up. Happily, the subterfuge worked for the trail was a high quality blend of well linked forest trails, barbed wire fences to roll under/spike your back on (choose where applicable), tricky checks to all but BMY and a few challenging steep up and down bits to remind the pack this was a male hash. Plus a decent flattish last km or so to mostly erase any hurtful memories and soothe ill tempers.
BMY appeared at the start looking like a runner and at the end in jeans and top, beer in hand, looking like a day visitor to Calais? Checks were not kicked out that he’d reached first and no sign of him during the run by any regular human, or hasher. Visitor Walter would have a conspiracy theory I’m sure.
I recognised parts of the trail from Sqrooters and H.Dick’s last set together back in March that was destroyed by the rain and hail….with only Alice, Yanksoffalot and Sloppy completing, that gave me some idea at least but most of it was virgin trail for me and beautiful yet challenging enough 2 days after the gruelling Bahrain X Island Run left me in a state of jellied pulp plus Guinness.
The pack seemed to work well together with Graven eager for work, HRA keen as mustard and the rest doing their bit most of the time. HRA was squawking excitedly when up ahead at checks – Turkish please note – and did a good job in low vis sections at checks.
The circle was fairly sedate and enjoyable. Frozen and TipToe were rightly blasted for claiming to be survivors of their own ‘Hybrid Rambo’ route which took about 1:30 to complete and had the hares concerned until YoA confirmed they were behind him on the run in. There’s only one thing worse than cocky, arrogant hares and that’s walkers who think they know better than the hare and can ignore some of his advice and join up the dots themselves due to higher intelligence.
But sometimes the hashing gods are kind and all ends well….yet this kindness can disappear as fast as an IT Prof in a shaded forest glade….
On on and thanks hares for a top run and the pack for your welcome back and company.

14th December – CH3 – Brownfinger

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

I left the house prepared for the hash, but with plenty of business to attend to, I wasn’t sure if I would make it – the stars aligned and sure enough I made it. Keen to see how Brownfinger’s leg had healed, and what he’d put together for us. The directions were Ob Kham, so I was happy to find the forward sign as I am often concerned I missed a sign on that road. It was the hexagonal shelter for the runsite…

The hare delegated the harebrief, which was thorough and elaborate – Robin Banks detailed the checks thoroughly, while BF looked petrified… Was he going to sweep – no ffing way! Banks tried to lead us through the trees, but the trail was past the barrier and soon we were off. Suckit’s visitor was clearly a real runner – wearing a marathoner’s t-shirt and breezing past me at the first opportunity – you might be a marathoner, but are you a hasher? He got the first couple of checks right, but then joined the game.

Sloppy was playing all the dodgy FRB cards.. “Hey – you guys should go down the road, cos there is barbed wire here!” I didn’t hear him say it, but I was confused as ABB, Poo & GI came running back towards me while some of us just followed trail.

Listen carefully to the harebrief. The hare stated that the Rambo trail would be to the left, after around 5km – that gives a lot of information – it says the trail would be clockwise, which helped me a lot with a couple of checks and we crossed the road. I was following Suckit and at the next circle he wanted to go left. I thought right was good, but had a small stone in my shoe. Time to get rid of that, while all the other hashers seemed to follow to the left. Only Sloppy Rod joined me checking to the right, and by the time we found the powder, we were clear.

We ran up the small hill, and hit a V check. SR’s exuberance gave him the choice, and he chose Right, (which would have been my choice), so I was left to hack my way across on what happened to be the real trail. Sloppy came flying along with me, and before I got to the next circle I pointed the trail out – he generously offered me the check along the trail I’d picked, and sure enough that was correct. Suckit’s boy was chasing me down, but I got to another check first and this time picked right, where I ran into Kwazi, who told me where the next powder was.

I got another couple of checks right, but was quickly tiring, pushing myself on thanks to Graven being just behind me. Finally I got one wrong and it took the pressure off… I was tired… Finally the wimp rambo split… Suckit went right on the wimp trail, and it looked so tempting! Turns out he didn’t see the “W”, only the arrow, and came running back about the same time I decided to take the short route back.

A great set on some great trails – yes we’ve done a similar run in reverse very recently, but the hare didn’t know that! Huge respect for the hare getting off his ass and setting a great run while his leg is still stitched up.