Category Archives: CH3 – Monday

The airplane site out in between San Kampaeng & Doi Saket… It was a national holiday, so off work, I figured I’d head along and get out of the house for a bit. The air pollution was pretty bad in the morning, but improved through the afternoon, either way when HRA asked me to bring him some beer, I decided to head over to deliver some beer, but not head out on the run. So, while the pack set off, I hung around with the GM and the hares, had a beer, and maybe saw 3m of trail.

The excitement for us back at the A site was the owner of the property hearing that there was a bunch of farangs running around their airplanes… Plenty of negotiation later, it all calmed down, and we were ok to continue with the circle, but were later given a phone number to contact them if we were to ever go back there again.

Meanwhile some hashers did some running, and I did some drinking… Sloppy led the pack in… The circle was notable for somewhat offensive Nazi paraphernalia… I can safely say that if anyone tries to give me and expect me to wear an award that has a swastika on it, then that award would be destroyed very quickly. It was extremely distasteful, and Frozen Dick was absolutely correct to call it out.

Sometimes you get the hangover, and sometimes the hangover gets you… Today was a bit of both, one thing I am sure of is that I drank far too much on Sunday, and it seemed like the hangover kicked in after work as I drove to the runsite…

It was actually 8-Bit that was keen to go to the run. We got to the runsite, that is a stunningly beautiful spot, with a glorious view across a valley – such a shame that someone has been using it as a tip, dumping waste off the side of the hill filling the air with the stench of burning pampers.

The hares sent us off down into the valley with Poo & Crazy German running hard early on. I followed correctly through a few checks, but then had to check the wrong way and was back of the pack as we crossed a “grand canyon” – just a little scramble, before turning left and heading back up the hill to very close to the car. We were 2km in, and I was sorely tempted to call it a day. Instead we headed up the hill with 8-Bit just in front of me – probably better I keep my eye on him a bit longer.

Plenty of good checks kept the pack together and it really was a good set – I wish I was feeling better! Finally I bailed out and headed to the left of the trail. I emerged on the road at the same time the FRBs came running down the hill the other side of the road – great timing, but while they started checking, I was headed back along the road.

By Alice
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In organisational theory you may learn about Peter’s Principle whereby people are promoted to positions of incompetence and stay there. Well Sheepy has obviously been doing some study as he demoted Belly Dancer to paper boy and bag carrier, cancelling any executive powers, and the results were highly encouraging.
A new A-site at the white wat above Ban Pong, virgin paths for your scribe and most of the pack, clearly marked trails and cunning enough checks and falsies. What more could you want? Dogshit to get fucked up? Yes, we even had that!
I did worry as both songthaos and Suckit turned off left when signage indicated right on the way in and then again if the red trucks would make the gradient, but all was well.
We even had a visitor Hurdy Gurdy from Japan, Tokyo H3 and he ignored PigShit’s insult on the bus (If I could fff understand you, I’d probably agree with you..) and seemed to enjoy himself.
The takeaway from the stingray shaped run was Shrek’s lunatic determination to run where walking was sensible and see if he could exhaust himself hauling 100Kg + over steep terrain at altitude. Hopefully he’s recovered to live co-hare CH4 run with me in 2 days.
We headed out into the forest and cut leftish at the first check. We seemed to follow a ridge then descend to a road. From here on it was roughly anticlockwise coming back and we knew UP if it wasn’t A-B. Checks were exactly hard enough given the steepness and general age of the pack. False trails caught the FRBs now and again and kept us together.
The haul up,up,up was hard and luckily for Robin Banks his anal vent worked overtime producing rocket propulsion when needed. Not lucky for the rest of us.
Finally after about 4km we reached the out trail high in the forest and followed powder marks jogging back the last stretch to the wat. I had 4.9km total and loved it.
Circle was finely handled by HRA but I didn’t like a few misery guts calling ‘Short circle’ etc. That needs to stop. Especially as they mostly don’t bother making the effort to give splashes and the longer splashes from Shrek and Belly were worthy and well paced.
ONON CH3, quite a change in tempo and feel from Saturday.

The Conference Centre is very convenient for getting out of work, and being so close to town, everyone was milling around trying to get warm before the run. We set off through the temple, and up the steps – a familiar trail that I haven’t been on for a few years. Up to the barbed wire fence, and I was under it when the first circle check was spotted. I continued up the main obvious trail, and went a bit over 100m before it was finally called in completely the opposite direction. Now I was stuck in a long traffic jam – and given the cold temperature it felt like climbing Everest.

When we emerged at the main trail, the check still hadn’t been called – with most carrying on up the hill to the right. I opted left, and wasn’t far back down the hill when someone called it parallel to my left. I carried on down, and soon enough ran into paper off the next check with Graven. Another check had us headed back up the hill, but I think we got it a little wrong and from looking at strava, I suspect we might have missed a check out. I found another circle, and followed trail backwards for a bit, before letting Brownie do the work and chasing Pussy Whisperer and Angry Inch back up the bloody hill.

By this point, I was already locked into the hares plan – it was a re-set of a run Poo had done some years back. Last time we screwed it up and did a lot of it backwards – this time, we got it right. We were headed back to the outtrail and we suddenly hit a check with absolutely no other options – that was 100m before hitting the main trail again – funny that. I was cruising at the front with Brownie – a great running trail that we were moving at a decent pace on. And then a dirty FT – trail turned off the main trail and I reluctantly followed it, pretty sure it was going to be an FT – it was – a long one…

Meanwhile Strangely Anal had past it by and ran into the hare who asked him why he was there, and then why he was following the arrows in the right direction rather than running in the wrong direction. Interesting questions indeed. Back on trail and the descent was on. When we turned right to head back again, HRA was in front – running, but perhaps more carefully than a few weeks back. I was chasing him down, along with a pack who all had their eyes set on HRA. HRA meanwhile was concentrating on not headbutting any rocks, so nobody spotted that we had run off paper. Some turned back to find a false trail… I was enjoying the trail I was on, so ran it out back to the beer. Nice set.

Another Male hash, and this time I was in time to set off with the pack! This time I also managed to get through the run without seeing Angry Inch’s Angry Inch! Although as we set off, I’m not 100% sure if he was offering a viewing or not!

Poo was itching to get going – he was running before the first check! The first check was a high percentage check as we would probably have spotted trail on the way in if it hadn’t been right. Sure enough Poo was off, only to be thwarted at the second check. I was deliberately taking it steady.

Great trails heading up into the hill – it’s been a while since I’ve been here. Mary Poppins got a bit of a lead, and tried to sneak by quietly after the V check, but he was reined in, and when we hit the main trail Graven took the lead and started to put a few checks together. I was following with Pussy Whisperer, but I kept being fooled by the non-existent false trail. I was sure there must be a FT coming, but nope.

Finally at the top of the hill as we made a sharp right, Graven got one wrong, and it was my turn! And now it was the descent, on a nice running trail! I loved it! Dancing, skipping, bouncing, nice! Then there was a circle, but no obvious trail apart from the great one I was already on! It was heading in the right direction, so I kept going – no paper, but a great running trail, and when the calls came from my left, the trail started turning left. It was too nice a trail for nobody to be running it, so I pressed on. (Is that the most eloquent denial of short cutting ever?)

I rejoined the paper soon after, and the pack were just behind me as I hit a circle out into a field – 50/50, left or right. I picked right, and was right. Shrek now chasing me down. Another check, and I was a bit off to the right. Knowing where home was, I went back to the trail, and accelerated into absolute chaos. No check, but no paper. I looped around in the direction of home, and Suckit was also checking there. Off to the left, way the other side of a lake, I saw Frozen Dick making his way… Hmmmm… There was a call from back to the left, but by now it was a choice of which side of the lake to go. I went the wrong side, and cruised in not far ahead of the pack.

Nice trails!

Praphats farm in Maejo – a great location… As I drove through the farm, I found a strange man stumbling along – yup, it was Libbers… I offered him a ride and he gratefully dragged himself into the car, and immediately started telling me how bad the run was! Although I was tempted to turn around and go home, I stayed to see what he put together…. Sadly for once the hare didn’t lie!

I walked off with Cartoon – his first time in this area. Graven was surprised with no checks early on, and we looped into a field that was overgrown in all directions, and a circle check. Skiddy and I spotted a way that it looked like someone might have tried to get through, and we scrambled along to paper.

I took a dip in the creek while Cartoon laughed at me from behind as trail apparently didn’t go through the creek. Ah well, back on trail and another check took me back to where we’d been just before, but I was on trail despite Shrek and Poo calling from a completely different direction. I understand why the hare was reticent, when trails aren’t there any more, he must have got all kinds of fucked up and just thought sod it.

A V check, I got it wrong but rejoined the trail after being attacked by a greyhound and seeing a poor monkey trapped in a cage. By now the pack was stretched out – no more checks, just trail laid until the way we’d driven in, and we were following hash signs back through the farm. It’s a beautiful location, and a gentle 3.2km route that gave the beer just enough time to cool down. Man Stuff.

Courtesy Alice

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Frozen & Rooter then Frozen & Wavy Gravy combined to set a bijoux belter in the wilds, a quarter of the way to Chiang Rai it seemed.
If that’s the price we pay for new trails and a change of scenery, so be it.

Frozen’s camo signs did the job, losing a songthao, admittedly with a sight impaired navigator. More crucially he also lost the beer monster of the day ShSh. No, no, no Frozen, just use proper red on white signs like the big people. Kvetching about research showing yellow on black or black on yellow is the most noticeable tends to pale after telling lost sheep the same for at least 5 years. I saw 3 out of 4 signs so I think I deserve a Browny Point for being super cautious and careful.

Not sure why hares have to bore the pack explaining what our Hash markings are. We know. Encourages smart arses/asses to try to be funny with the same dopey comments week in week out. Talk to the visitors quietly pre-run and point us on our way. Simples.

Not a dig at FD, that’s every hare. FD was succinct but half the pack were disrespectful just sitting there when ‘circle up hare brief’ was called. Not good.

I’m sure all we need to know is, “Follow white strips with the run no. Trail is thataway. Take water. Make me proud.” (Rooter quip)

Anyway Frozen twirled us around in a wonderful circle of forest trails, shade and only one bastard rocky hill with paths scarcely fit for living beings.

Checks kept most FRBs (HRA, Cartoon & EmmaRoyde) honest and recycled the lead constantly. Pussy had started off like a train nailing checks. ABB loitered with intent at the checks and stuck around like a large jobby that refuses to flush. Skiddy and Banksy were well up with the pack throughout with Dutchy enjoying a happy break on a rock half way up the hill climb.

A surprise beer stop in the forest cancelled some braindead splash and once more, refueled and vigorous, up we bashed and down, then up a nasty bamboo grove, around the end of a lake and onto decent red mud path for the run in.

Strangely and self went stride for stride, agreeing to up the tempo after the On In and got called out by ABB for being racist. As if!

Our four Aussie visitors all contributed to the circle: Testicles, Shithead, Arseholeo and A.N.Other. Liked Testicles’ story about naturally his testicles in a bar and Cartoon’s story with the punchline: What good is just fucking one, BOTH of them! Not sure that’ll get past the BBC censors.

Good to hear splashes from Softballs and have Mary Poppins back from Edwardian London. Alice got the wings as the sole CH3er to do the Ball Breaker despite HRA booing and hissing. One more miserable bastard off my Xmas list. Bah Humbug.
Onon CH3!

It was Delboy’s 43rd birthday and what surprises and treats would HRA have in store for us?
Plenty as it happened…

Would he rehash his last run? No! He sneakily rehashed one of Cumalot’s from a year ago instead!

Potato Head got the first check right and in very splashable style waved his arms up and down on the road yelling, “Paper here! I’ve found it!”

We soon turned for the forest on the right and here I blitzed 3 or 4 checks heading up into the Doi. Cartoon found the 5th to the right as I blundered about in the trees well away to the left and by the time I’d got back, half the plodde…also-ra….pack had passed me.

The loping ABB stepped aside as I jogged along the lovely forest trail, Pussy Whisperer too, but Piggy shimmied this way and that upon my polite call of, “Passing left please!”
“Which left do you mean?” he barked.
“ The other left!”
‘FO grandad!’ he’s getting next time!

Cartoon was nailing checks and Delboy although the stronger runner, was taking the duff options then catching up. As we came to another circle near properties, he went straight on the best trail. I went right around a garden fence while the lemmings followed best option Del, apart from honest Krapthai who went left.

Paper! I called Onon and put my (newish) Decathlons to the road. At the next corner I was on again after yet another circle and followed concrete for another few hundred meters. Shit. No paper. Go back. Double shit. FT partially hidden.
Leaving the strips on the fence, I turned into an orchard 50m back and bingo! A left, left box in the woods brought me back almost to where I’d turned back after the FT. I really pushed myself to keep ahead and couldn’t credit I was ahead of Delboy.
Back along familiar trail and a sharp left through a bamboo gate. Cartoon missed this but Del didn’t and caught me in the forest about 10m shy of the powder OnIn.
We ran in together to a wave from HRA.
Super run and 5.4km for me in decent time.
Capt Kagan enjoyed Frozen Morgan’s Spicy Rum and ABB excoriated all the non drinkers for getting sloshed.
Back at MadDog, the ever inventive Pussy W suggested a breathalyzer test be applied to all hashers after the circle to determine their Hash fee on a sliding scale.
A suggestion deserving of serious AGFU consideration.
Onon and HBFU Delboy.
Alice

Oh dear. The RA certainly fixed it for me. Like Jimmy Bleedin’ Savile fixed shit. Soaked thru for 30 mins on the drive in and home, and same same during the run. Nice weather for ducks as my old man would say. And fcuking idiot hashers on motorbikes too!

Arriving just pre-hare brief, I glimpsed Emma Royde’s snazzy ERII checks and heard there was W-R split. Eggelen chimed in both my knees together.

On the way out ShSh, Frozen and self were at the rear again and considering the big questions of the day. Was that gate aluminum or aluminum? Was it painted or anodized? Lucky the rain cooled my fevered brain as ShSh and FD demonstrated how we Brits and Septics are indeed two peoples, separated by a common language.

The rain fell even heavier and we turned off into orchards and then forest. Tiptoe and Rooter were ahead meandering this way and that in search of clear paper and trail.
Finding a damp strip I yelled OnOn! and realized Rooter wasn’t aware of our presence as he breakdanced like 10,000 V had just gone up his leg.

The ground softening, I headed on alone along flooding muddy trails until I got to checks where I checked and returned to the others, sometimes to give them the right info and sometimes not, as returning to a check discombobulated me somewhat. Was it left or the other left? Fcuk, I’m confused!

It really was something, shallow streams flowing along the forest paths and pools forming in dips. Still it hammered down and soon we were returning to the settled area and the A site at the cock ring shelter.

A few sick, lame and idle bastards were already there so we swapped excuses and waited for the pack to return.

ShSh headed off for another loop having told me my knee issues are all to do with wrong shoes and being too heavy for them. Sauce!

The circle was enjoyable with Piggy, Belly and ABB along with HRA the GM entertaining us with their wit, ribaldry and general character assassination. Saying that, I did get a sharp intake of breath when I contrasted clean living, upstanding hasher Pussy Whisperer with Purple Fart, the hasher most likely to breed with another species!

Rather wonderfully Tom Callahan the Co-Hare didn’t know what a brolly was, so eventually we settled on his Hash handle as Mary Poppins, to raucous cheers. Piggy did the honours in style, an MC of some talent, weddings, award nights and circumcisions a speciality I hear.
Great set in a lovely area with a shelter fit for circles – and for cockfighting! Well done Emma and Mary Poppins!

Chim-chimney, chim-chimney, chim chim cheroo…keep your fcuking shorts on next time, Skiddy please do!

It was out in Sankampaeng, near the ‘airplanes’ – I’ve never made it to a run here, so it was clear early on that the likes of Cartoon had some advantage. I arrived with enough time to get changed, grab a bottle of water, but unfortunately the over exuberant hare had set them off already, but it wasn’t far around the corner when I started picking off the walkers – Libbers, Tiptoe, Frozen etc.

It was going to be flat, and wet and it wasn’t long before we were dancing over flooded waterways. I was back with the pack well before the first of the beerstops – here I went the wrong way, so was catching up again as we ran along the road. Trail turned right at a junction with no check, which was immediately suspicious. Up ahead the likes of Cartoon and Skiddy were paused, but then carried on, but without any call that I heard. When I got 80m down the trail there was a circle. Typical – if only someone had called. By now they had scattered onwards, so I turned around and went back to the road – here Belly got a slight advantage over me and HRA and he put in a bit of a jog. We chased him down as the road went through some ricefields.

Again my radar was suspicious, and I spotted something whitish off to the left and decided to check it out, even with Cartoon calling from behind me that he could see the paper going straight on – presumably to a false trail, but you’d need to hide it a bit better to trick me. Here we got onto quite a nice trail that was headed back in the general direction of A with a creek on the left. HRA, Cartoon and I took turns until a check visible the other side of a metal bridge. The construction of the bridge was clearly very stable, but it was rusty, and my hatred of bridges took me a while to brave crossing it, even with a second beer stop just on the other side!

A second beer stop – what a treat! The pack was a bit ahead of me heading back towards the road, and I suspected my chances were over. I forced myself to jog, and found I was feeling better than I have recently – hopefully early signs that my fitness is returning? Sheep Shagger ran past the turning off the road, and then we were following Cartoon who was suddenly off paper up ahead – I looked to my right, and there was the false trail. Back a few steps and into an alley, when SS called it, I darted past and hit the front with Cartoon splashing through the mud to my right. Around the corner, we must be close by now and I was flowing along, until another FT. Damnit! Those following me turned around as well, and all ran past a turning at the back of the temple – I ducked into it, and sure enough there was paper and it was just a short way around the temple and I spotted my car and the A site on my right.

Nice one!