Category Archives: Blog

4th August – CH4 – Human Excrement

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Why does Human Excrement hate us so much??? Perhaps I should ask Klaus Barber to do a write up – I’m sure he really loved today’s run – not! 😉

Last time I was at that runsite, Human Ex was being trained by Skiddy, and they decided not to go to the top of the hill – today, without Skiddy holding him back, Human Ex showed his Square Rooter style… – see a hill, and find a way to get up it.

We set off and things were ok. With some hairy visitors, the pack was strong. We ran through a couple of checks, and a couple of places there could have been checks, before we entered the valley. I checked to the left at that circle, as I really didn’t want to go into the valley… Sadly, the trail led us into the valley – with home advantage, I knew there was no way out without going up, and Beautiful Box and I contemplated finding a short cut when the trail headed up concrete stairs.

Somehow I got to the front at the top of the hill but when the downhill started it was trouble… The hare had found a trail up the hill, but not really bothered to find a way back down. It was a vertical descent that had the pack scattered. The likes of Chuckie stormed by, and Able Seaman leapt off the mountain. For those of us carrying injuries it wasn’t so easy going – and poor Klaus Barber some way behind had real troubles with Frozen Dick. Fortunately we survived, and had time to send the hare back to hare school! He scouted it 5 times??? Seriously???

3rd August – CSH3 – HRA

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The football field along the canal road? The hare had spent weeks saying how good and original the run would be – and yet apart from the Ag centre it is one of the most hashed locations in Chiang Mai!

The hare brief was brief, and left the virgins not knowing what to do, but we scampered off anyway towards the back of the temple. Before most of us got to the first check we were confused looking for paper, but by the time I got to the check it still hadn’t been found. The reason being – HRA has a great system for counting out 100 step – he counts to 50 twice – although sometimes he counts to 50 three times, and when I found the trail it was around 150m away from the check (not for the last time!).

We cut down to the road and went along the road for a while, before a dodgy scramble along the side of a ridge. A 2nd check of 150m, and I was ahead again, back running along the road. We ran past several little bars, but no beer stop on offer!

There was some more scrambling along the edge of a ridge before climbing into the hills. Apparently it wasn’t that long a run, but for me it seemed to go on and on. I need to regain some fitness I guess. As we came to the descent I was left behind and started feeling the pain in my ankle. I survived and made it back in time for a beer before the circle. Had I been fit enough, it would have been a great run!

28th July – CH4 – None of Your Business

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It was supposed to be None of Your Business’s second haring. the first one was a great run that got torrentially rained on, so I was really looking forward to this one. He’s a great young man and a great hasher and even though several hashers were out of town for a male outstation and several women were at the end of the month Bunny hash, a nice bunch showed up to support our young hare prodigy- or so we thought. Dad did the hare brief and admitted that he and the two younger brothers did the lion’s share of setting the run-the hare cut the paper. We set out towards the road , with NOYB running with us (a certain give-a-way of his true haring status) and got to the first circle check by the road. I thought for sure they would go across the road and bike paths so i did a flying leap across the rain gutter and twisted my ankle only 100 meters into the run. I walked along the bike path certain that the run would come to my side of the road at the next check. Wrong again– so i caught up with Reverse Thrust and we walked along the dirt path that took us to the dam. I assured Reverse Thrust that BMY usually hates hills and certainly would avoid any hills with his freshly healed ankle. Wrong again- So far I am 0 for 3.

From the top of the hill over-looking the dam, we spied His Royal Anus proudly prancing across the dam. We followed the girls on a minor shortcut up the spillway to get to the dam and once we crossed found a kicked out check leading us through snake infested bushes to a village and up another minor hill to the road where we saw Dr. Byte in his car checking us out. There we crossed the road, heard on on calls and found our way to the calls where we caught up with the pack at a circle check by a small gully. Seeing footprints in the sand in the gully, i followed them until i heard the on call. Wrong again. I never caught up with the pack again and actually lost the paper near the horse farm. I did the only thing a habitual DFL could do at that point- follow my GPS back to the circle.

NOYB was our GM for the day and with some prompts from dad and others did a good job running the circle. After the circle was closed we socially drank for a while and then took off for the Hash Pub. All in all, a very mellow and enjoyable run and circle.

FD

27th July – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

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With many of the FRBs missing (Pattaya Outstation / English Summer), it was a medium sized pack that set off from 10km or so down canal road. We were next to a motocross track, which we’ve run past before, and the hares set us off around the track. I got the first couple of checks right, and was going well with Semen Soars not far behind. My instinct at the next check was right, but I just wasn’t quick enough to dart left before SS got there. I ended up going on a longer parallel run, all the way around some farm, with calls of On-On somewhere in the distance to my left. Eventually I got onto a road and jogged along rejoining the pack at another check.

From here we headed into the hills – not major hills, just some minor undulations. I wasn’t sure how far we’d gone, but eventually popped back out of the hills along a little creek – I recognised bits from runs from the cremation place around the back at the end of canal road. We emerged into an orchard, with trails all over the place – Again I ended up paralleling, as Semen Soars led the way. This time it was a short cut though, and I found paper again when HRA was checking off to the right. Square Rooter claimed he was following me, as he also took the slightly shorter route.

We must be nearly back? The terrain was similar to where we’d parked the cars, I just wasn’t sure which road it was on. With HRA not far behind I decided to try and out run him back, only to find more checks and the run seemed to go on forever! Finally HRA caught me up, and I was down to a hobble as he took the lead. He got ahead just in time to hit a final false trail check back. Som Num Na amigo!

All in all a good run, and a good circle.

22nd July – CH3 – Turkish Delight

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I have very low expectations when I see Turkey’s name on the hareline, but being determined to get out there and do something, I set off as it was close to town. The area behind the new expo on canal road puts us somewhere between the boy scout camp and 700 year stadium… I’ve been curious what was back there, and was quite surprised to drive up to the runsite overlooking a large lake that I had no idea was there.

Turkish was beaming, but the sky was darkening, and Chuckie was looking concerned. Sure enough the rains started moments before Turkish was due to give his harebrief. And it was torrential… We were all very reluctant to set off, but there was no sign of it easing and Turkey had clearly put some efforts in. Chuckie ran to his bike to get his poncho and followed along behind us vainly trying to keep his feet dry – ha!

The rain kept coming, and in slippery conditions I found myself quickly at a point that I didn’t feel comfortable getting through with my dodgy ankle. Frozen Dick passed me his walking stick, and I got through! My vanity made me pass the stick right back! I’m young – I don’t need that! Until after about another 100m or so, Frozen Dick suggested I would be better off with the stick – and he was right… Getting through the first km or so was tricky – we slipped and slided our way around the lake which had looked quite nice before, but was now just a mudbath that stank like a raw sewage overflow. I’m sure when Turkish had set off it would have been fine, but by now it was treacherous. Behind me CW kept dawdling along, chatting with Sups – they were clearly going to short cut at the first opportunity. I kept on going trying to stick with Dirty Pervert.

Thankfully we got away from the lake and headed into the hills, along some great trails that I knew must be there, but I didn’t recognise any of them. We cut through a barbed wire fence – did Turkey do that? Not sure what we were getting into (or out of?), but the trail was good. I was keeping up as Skid Mark and Humperdick did all the work up front. Each time they screwed up, I managed to get back to the front and I lost count of how many times Skiddy skiddied by. One particularly memorable check had the 2 FRBs charging down the hill, only for me to find trail back up the hill – I was astounded – sure Square Rooter had helped set this trail – there is no way that Turkish was capable of this??? Fortunately there was good camaraderie between a small field, and we worked together to find the way back, as I confess I was lost and disoriented.

A fun mellow circle was followed by the realisation that on a “Buddha Day” all the bars / restaurants are closed with no hope of more beer etc. A few of us ventured to Nong Flukes, and were greeted with the realisation, that while they couldn’t sell us alcohol, they had no objection to us bringing our own in! Fortunately I had a few leos in the car (as one does for emergencies like this!) so we ended up having a remarkably good OnOnOn! Again, I’m not sure when I will get to type this again, but ‘great job Turkish Delight’!

21st July – CH4 – Square Rooter

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Already a little ‘anaesthetised’ from hangover run beers, I figured I’d give Square Rooter a chance and attempt his run. Damn – Suthep Road – the base of the mountain? This might not be pretty… The CH4 is getting a good turnout these days, and the girls were already doting over the attractive young Spanish visitor. Damn him! Or damn the fickle attentions of our female hashers?

We set off the usual way up the road, and I was making efforts to get off to a reasonable start and got the first check right, only to climb a long way to the check back at the 2nd check. I consoled myself with the thought that it probably wasn’t meant for me, but I was just unlucky to get it. DFL and it was right at the start of the run! I wondered if I would even see anyone again!

It turned out that my ankle was feeling good, and certainly Up Hill it was going well. I managed to get back with the pack, and felt great to be out on the trail – even with it being a SR special! And it was a SR special! I’ve run most of those trails before, so I wasn’t concerned about getting lost, I was just concerned about which way he was taking us. So often he teased us with a break to the left, and then back to the right. It was a really well thought out set.

My troubles came towards the end when we had to come back down the hill and I found my ankle wasn’t quite to strong on the descent. Our Spanish stallion swept past me, along with Shaven Haven who I’d never seen run so well! And humbling as it is, Kwazi came up behind me and very kindly asked for me to get out of the way so he could come through. Thankfully it wasn’t far back down – not quite sure how he managed it, but the clever set brought us back to the A.

The circle was good, but would have been a little better had SR had his 3 beer limit! 😉

20th July – CSH3 – Skid Mark Outstation

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Been going stir crazy after tearing ankle ligaments, so decided late on to head up to the outstation. After the usual Friday night frivolities, Saturday was hashing day, and thankfully HRA had brought me a ankle brace which offered great support.

I set off on a great trail, but was soon left behind by the FRBs – Sloppy, Chuckie and HRA along with some visitors. I fell into place with Shagless and Reverse Thrust, with Frozen Dick and Microwave just a little ahead. (I hope I won’t have to type that again!) The trail was fantastic – easy going and some beautiful virgin views. The checks seemed to be quite obvious, but I guess it is a lot easier when they’ve already been kicked out!

Superman sets a formidable pace and I could see him ahead but struggled to make any ground until he stopped to water the orchard, and I ambled along with him to the beer stop. Yes… Beer Stop… Beer and Stop! I’d done enough, better to rest the ankle and enjoy the beer! It sounded like the 2nd half of the trail was just as good as the first and there were plenty of happy faces at the end. A good outstation, ended that evening with some dominos with the ladies – thanks for your money!

The hangover wasn’t as bad as I expected, and so the hangover run was just what the doctor ordered. I managed to be and FRB again with a combination of a little inside information from the hares, some intelligent short cutting and luck.

15th June – CSH3 – Semen Sores

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What can I say about Semen Soars’ run?? Well, I spent a lot of time running around fairly close to where the run was, but didn’t really get to see much of it! I was off trail before we even found the first paper, and it didn’t get much better – completely the wrong direction at the first couple of checks, but then it was the 3rd check that foxed me.

One piece of paper was found, and then more paper on the other side of the canal, but well over 100 metres away. That must be the In trail, and the pack took off on it. I was convinced they’d got it wrong and were going the wrong way around. The right thing to do was to find the real trail – no matter how long it took! I persisted, determined there would be paper somewhere out in the rice paddies. I finally found some trail and set off only to find that I was the one doing it wrong when the trail ran out and I spent some time looking for a circle check. Damn! What to do? I set off backwards on the trail, and again had troubles when the trail had been cleared next to a road.

Finally I met Chuckie coming the other way being chased by Gorf and Skiddy, so I decided to jog on in for a beer. What an idiot!

8th June – CSH3 – Superbitch

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With nearly 2000 combined runs, the Super family would surely put together a memorable run? About 4km towards Sameong, the A bucket was by a serene lake overlooked by a Buddhist meditation retreat. Big Top, HRA and Bendover had all set from around here, and normally it involved the steep hills nearby. Uhoh.

We set off across the quarry, straight in the direction of the hills. Just as we were about to head up the hill we got to a circle check. Rather than heading on up, the hares had abruptly dived down a lethal barb wire coated bank back to a road that took us back down. No hill today?

We cut back across another quarry / excavation site with Gorf leading the way and getting confused by a cross check. We quickly turned back towards the A and had a short loop through the temple and around the lake.

Sups was clearly thirsty as he let the FRBs back within 30 minutes, before the GM had even arrived. Several of the more energetic types went around for a second lap (with the GM), while the rest of us tucked into the beers. A short sweet workout!

2nd June – CH4 – HRA

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Following over complicated directions took us to the A bucket behind the Ag Centre, a familiar area. Looking around at the start, it looked like Semen Sores would have to help with some checking – except, he decided to have a restful day, strolling along with Tip Toe, leaving Square Rooter to help me with the checks. We set off in a slightly different direction – this was good, had HRA found some new trails?

I ran up the first hill with Belly Dancer, and at the first check, chose to go left towards some trails that I hadn’t run before. Sadly it was off to the right back towards the familiar waterfall, but not before Frozen had confused everyone with a false call. Anyway, we slid down into a dry stream bed (apart from Blue Tit, who turned back head spinning from the previous night’s hangover!) Along the creekbed and then up a steep path the other side – I got a check right! Behind me, SR had developed a cunning strategy – if I got the check right, he’d wait at the check for me to call it, but if I was wrong, he’d go and check the right trail. Seriously he didn’t put a foot wrong, while I was all over the place.

Finally we turned down the hill along the usual route down to the waterfall cafe. At last I was home free – but this late in the run I was caught up behind Tip Toe, Cumalot, Screwed Up etc. Somehow the hare had done a stellar job of keeping the pack together. Nice <5km on some nice trails – 46 minutes, ideal!