Category Archives: Blog

31st August – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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The “A” Bucket was an orchid farm in the Maesa valley, a location that Sups couldn’t quite get to on time, so we set off without him. The trail set off and at the first opportunity we hit the rice fields, a balancing game along little walls, and it was Sloppy Rod that demonstrated his gymnastic abilities nimbly dancing ahead like a fairy! Only for him to be thwarted at the first V check.

We got across to a road, and the trail started going up, and up, and up… For a while we cut off trail and headed back down the hill, only to have to climb back up again when we hit the trail – it was as if the hares were completely disoriented stumbling around in the jungle. When we hit the main trail, we followed it up, up, up and finally hit the road about 3km higher up the mountain than where we’d started. Fortunately the hare was waiting for us there with beers and a ride back to the A. Some foolish runners decided to run back down the hill, we picked some up, and passed the others.

An uphill hash… Just what we need before heading out on Square Rooter’s Doi Suthep run today… :(

26th August – CH3 – Superman

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What did Sups have in store for us 11km south on canal road? He showed up early and drove straight past the runsite to ‘check’ on his paper after a storm had past through… He seemed satisfied that the first bit of paper might be there still, so it’d be good enough… Then the excuses started – mostly to do with him and Superbitch getting stuck out in a storm and only just finishing on time.

We set off and had a long trek along a track / road to the old burning place – several trails heading off to the right, and surely we were going to take one of them? No checks, but we were kept together as we tried to decipher what was left of the paper that had been washed off the leaves. Eventually I spotted trail heading off to the right, and left the newbie visitor to run down the road to the inevitable false trail. Meanwhile I ran into the next false trail and we were back together as the trail mysteriously disappeared around a temple. An impromptu circle check and finally Humps found trail heading into the woods.

Suckit joined us at the front as we broke out into ‘his terrain’, and with him knowing every blade of grass he was soon bounding ahead. Again few checks, and when we had checks we just filed forwards till we got to paper. At one point we seemed to be on newspaper, so perhaps we’d short cut?

Finally at the last check, I thought Sups might have a bit more up his sleeve, he might throw in one twist at the death? Nope – the rains must have washed out all imagination and we rounded the corner back to the A.

25th August – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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With Suckit back in town, Itchy had him help her set the trail – rather than celebrating his return, she forced him out into the hills to set a run… Knowing the team up, I had high expectations for the run, and as usual I wasn’t disappointed – why can’t every run be like today?

A slightly delayed hare brief and we were set off down the dirt road. An early circle check, within 100m or so, had us reluctantly milling around while we waited for Big Top to call on from straight on. We followed and quickly hit another V check. This was where things may have got confused? I checked to the right, and soon spotted the pink post it’s heading way up the hill into the distance. Meanwhile behind me Big Top was leading everyone else along the false trail – apparently they ran past the check back and needed a group meeting to verify they’d gone the wrong way…

I didn’t see or hear anyone else again…

Sometimes on those lonely nights at home, when you’ve jacked off enough times, and your trying to get to sleep, just occasionally your mind wanders to the hash, and you dream you’re out on the trail, running through the hills. Occasionally you might just let yourself dream the ‘perfect hash’ – where you hit every check, nail them all and run in like a champ. You may throw in the odd bit of parkour or free running as your mind leaps over gorges and swings around trees. Perhaps it’s just me? The gap between dream world and reality is vivid, and it’s rare to nail all the checks… Was I dreaming? Was it real? The stories in the circle told of unending troubles with the pack struggling to find the trail, yet when I ran through, the dots connected, the stars aligned, and the route opened up in front of me like a geek suddenly decoding the matrix. My calls were futile, the pack 15 minutes back, and things were perfect, until the last check…

At last I got to see what a check back looked like, damnit! It didn’t cost me much though, I was home free and tucking into a beer. With no HRA, Chuckie or Poo, perhaps the odds were in my favour, call me a racist if you like, or let me have my moment and savour it! One day you may have the ‘perfect hash’…

25th August – CSH3 – I Got Gas

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The I Got Gas Hash is slowly working it’s way onto the hash calendar – last year it was a great event, and today it was also a superb hash. It helps having a great venue on the edge of some great hashing country, and the pool and barbecue will make even the grumpiest hasher smile!

After suggesting in the week there was only one way out of his house, IGG sent us through the back gate scrambling around the river to a rice field for the On-Out. Being a smart-ass I was sure which way he would send us – towards the hills and the great trails of the King’s Project! First circle check I picked left and got on to the canal trail. When they called On-On to the right, I ‘knew’ it was a matter of time before they crossed the canal, and opted to parallel for a while till we met up… The On-On calls faded, and it turned out there weren’t so many options for getting to the canal. I was alone and off trail, finally making the decision to cut my losses and head back to the first circle…

It happens sometimes that I end up behind Frozen Dick after a bad check, but this time it took me a good km or so to chase down Sunspot and Miss Piggy! Superman offered me a short cut through a canal, and slowly I moved up the pack – it was fun, and the hares had been smart enough with the checks (early on) to let me get back into the action. It was clear we were heading to the right (particularly with my earlier detour to give me inside information), and that was where the hares hit their genius – they knew we wanted to go right, and they teased us with multiple checks that hinted we might go right, only to head straight or off to the left. Where was the trail??

I got lucky. The check that I finally got to the front on had a newbie heading up a hill and me taking the ‘less obvious’, but ultimately more likely, trail through the high grass, off to the right. I was On! We were so far out by now that it had to be straight on back from here, and sure enough, while the trail took in a bit of a climb around the side of a mountain, it was great running and heading straight in the right direction. When there was a check, we met Superman, Just Cumming and Soapy short cutting their way to the trail. It was a great trail, and a front runner’s delight! Even when I did parallel run my way back to the trail in the closing stages (see attached GPS), it was all fun running country.

The summary? We had some tough / interesting checks early on which were then rewarded with some great running trails on the way back. A good job by the hares – a good circle, followed by good food – now that is hashing!

19th August – CH3 – Frozen Dick

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Frozen had been begging me to go for days, confidently claiming virgin terrain and a memorable ridge, so I got out of work to go along and see what he had in store. He launched into the hare brief with a pun about golly gullys and something about a ridge. We set off and within yards of the A bucket we hit the first circle check. With a steep hill up to the right, I headed straight for the higher ground – Skiddy went straight, while Horny set off in between towards a quarry. I was nearing the top of the hill when Horny called from somewhere below to my left – the trail was bending to the left, so I decided not to give up the higher ground, and keep going – luckily I ran into a circle check and some paper, and moments later spotted Horny below me calling the next Circle – On On!

Having checked one way, I set off the other way, and found paper down the other side of the rise – rounding a corner there was a tempting trail off to the left, and I could have put money on imminently hitting a false trail – sure enough, I picked up the stick and met the rest of the FRBs as they got to the true trail. Shortly later a V check left Skiddy the wrong side of a gully, and I got the first pick at a circle check in the next gully. Climbing the ridge beyond, there was a nice little trail heading up the hill. Skiddy called OnOn from right beneath me and I could see his bald head scrambling along a gorge about 15m straight down beneath me. I decided (again) not to give up the higher ground, and kept going, running into the trail a short while later.

We headed up, up, up and I hit a few checks right, before Alice caught me at a circle on a ridge that went several ways. I followed him along a good running trail that went along the top of the hill – made for hashers! At the next check Alice bore right and down, while I bore left and down – perhaps my better sense of direction? Either way I was on, and swung from tree to tree on a fast descent. I got to the bottom and recognised the little clearing with a circle check – we had been here before, but from a different direction – perhaps an Anything run? A good check there had me a long way in the wrong direction, and eventually trapped in the wrong gully. I couldn’t hear anyone, but had a good guess which side to climb out, and as I reached the top of a ridge, the rest of the hashers were crossing a saddle just below me. I quickly cut across and found Soapy in the lead, only for the trail to cut sharply left and Skiddy to take over.

Not that it’s a race, but the lead was rotating nicely. It was down to timing, and ‘only being as good as your last check’. I got to the last check with Skiddy, and turned tail straight back in the direction my gut told me the cars were. I was right, and Horny joined me for the OnIn. Hopefully it won’t go to his head, but it was an excellent run by Frozen Dick!

18th August – CH4 – Alice

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Alice comes all the way over from Saudi, and when he steps up to set a run, he generally puts plenty of effort it – generally! We heard from Baldrick about how he’d been awol all week hiking around the hills in search of virgins, or virgin trail. The bunnies also had a special run today though, so the numbers were a little low, so when I arrived with legs already aching from yesterday, it was ominous to see HRA & Humperdick (still recovering from Dengue) as the only true FRBs about. It could be interesting.

We set off and I got the first check wrong – typical! I rejoined Humps & HRA at the 2nd check, where HRA was forced to do the dummy run, the wrong way down the hill. The last time he made that mistake as he turned into a circle guard unless he was certain he was correct… We cut inland for a loop, before heading back out to the road through tall grass. Along the road a bit further before Alice found the trail he wanted us on, and we headed for the mountains. I was hitting the checks well, and doing my best to set a reasonable pace, but when I finally got one wrong, HRA, Square Rooter & Humperdick appeared right behind me.

A little confusion at the top of the hill and HRA managed to slip away from us as Bend Over and Baldrick joined us in a second pack trying to chase down the silent running HRA. We ran through another old runsite, and I realised just how far we had left to go… From then though the checks were mostly straight ahead, and we had no chance of hearing HRA again. I ended up doing the stupid checks right and left while Humperdick ran ahead and Bend Over guarded the checks.

All in all a damn good run, a bit over 7km so my legs will definitely be feeling it tomorrow!

17th August – CSH3 – Square Rooter

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Hmmm… Square Rooter, and he’s setting the run from part way up Doi Suthep mountain… it isn’t going to be a flat run… :( And my car is in the garage… I’m superhuman right? Surely I can ride my bike up the mountain and then do the hash and then ride it down again? Right? yeah right…

I got to the A bucket about 5 minutes before the hare brief, and my legs were already very wobbly – it’s been too long since I’ve ridden the bike, and I’d forgotten just how steep the bottom part of the mountain is. It was also about 2 minutes before the storm started, and sure enough by the time we set off on the run, we were already drenched – apart from Snail Trail, who decided to take an umbrella with her.

The ‘Rambos’ did an extra little loop down the road, just to add a bit more climbing back up to where we rejoined the Wimps very quickly. A check and the FRBs were on their way up, only to quickly get to another Wimp/Rambo split. Bah, it’s got to be the Rambo, although we know what that involves… I set to it and carried on climbing, in the pouring rain, with “On On” calls being drowned out by the pitter patter.

It kept going up, but by now my legs had got into the mode, and I just kept climbing… Eventually we got to a check and I figured he hadn’t punished us enough yet, so kept going on up – up round the corner and out of earshot. Square Rooter sets long checks sometimes, so I kept going, and tried along a little trail to the left – which would surely head back towards the road? Who knows, I slipped around on the side of the mountain for quite a while before I eventually found my way back to a trail, with paper on it, but no hashers and no calls. Well it was raining… I stumbled down as best I could, trying to go easy on the ankle, until I found Square Rooter coming the other way. The bastard told me which way to go to finish the trail, even though we must have been about 100m away from the cars – when I finally got back, he was beaming about his little joke.

Not a bad run, but I enjoyed riding the bike down the mountain a lot more than the way up!

12th August – CH3 – Soapy

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After so many years of hashing, I’ve never managed to run on a Soapy run – apparently that’s because today was the first time he’s set one!!! After 7 years of planning, 7 years of preparation, 7 years of examining different runsites, this would surely be the greatest run in hash history?!? Well, at least not as bad as Horny’s run yesterday!

At the run site there was a good turn out, including 2 young athletic looking types, who hopped out of Humperdick’s truck. More Dutchies!? With no Dogshit, I guess they figured they’d try and get back to quota? An elaborate harebrief, and we were set off down a familiar hill, straight into Suckit country. I let gravity take hold and found myself alone at the bottom of the hill, following trail to a V check. Turkish (who from now I on I will refer to as “C”, short for “C*NT”), ignored the check and came with me up a short hill. At the next X check, he again ignored the check, following me along the straight option. The lazy “C” wouldn’t check on his own, so I went back and tried another way. He stood and watched, and eventually we were both wrong. I didn’t hear him again all run, and if I don’t see him again, it would be too soon.

Fortunately the “young bucks” knew how to play the game, albeit with a racist theme… Things got a bit confusing a couple of times when the trails cut back on themselves, and pretty soon we were cutting right and arcing back towards the A. Too soon surely? He’d said it was short, and he didn’t lie about that… After 3.25km I was back at the A.

11th August – CH4 – Horny Monkey

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Horny kindly stepped up to the plate so I could spend the day with Terror Byte for his birthday, so I figured around 5pm, it was time to get away, get some exercise and see what he’d come up with… Expectations are generally low when you see HM on the hareline, and he generally finds a way to fall short of even the lowest expectations…

Anyway, the fitness park between CMU & the zoo – about 800m from Horny’s house, the closest you could get… Rather than waiting for the rain to stop this morning, he headed out to lay trail. Failing to prepare is like preparing to fail, and when HM realised that powder probably wouldn’t last long, he cut up about 5 pages of the yellow pages (into tiny tiny squares) and proceeded to try and set a run with it. The yellow pages has several properties – first when it gets when it quickly vanishes, 2nd, when it is cut small enough it looks exactly like the leaves it’s been dropped in and when used sparingly, is impossible to lay a trail with!

Horny also forgot about taking anything with which to lay checks, so improvised by graffiti – spray painting circles on the street. And it turned out the street was in CMU. We had to climb over a gate to break into the uni grounds – as I work there, I wasn’t sure quite what to think, but hey – On On! Confusion reigned from the start of the run, until the point that the majority of the pack abandoned the effort…

Highlights(?) or lowlights(?)… Well, laying the trail through the College of Arts Media and Technology – I hope no one recognised me! HM also decided to skirt around the women’s dorm, and take us right by the Men’s Dorm – anything we should know? Anyway – across the other side of the uni, by my office, with cars driving all around us, it was impossible to hear anyone call, and trail was hard to find, so I gave in and headed back to the B site (fortunately HM had told us he was taking us ‘home’). Not far behind me, half the rest of the pack also gave up (but without really knowing where HM lived) – fortunately I intercepted them walking aimlessly around on Huay Kaew Road. As for the rest? Who knows? After close to an hour and a half, I set off home for dinner with Terror Byte.

10th August – CSH3 – Reverse Thrust

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Hmmmm… What to say? Before the run started the hares gave an extended brief to the visitors, before an elaborate one to us – something about Mexican hats, balls, different V checks, etc… Nobody listened and we just set off… Around the corner was the first circle check and after 5 paces I spied some paper – it was only about 30 metres from the check, so I called cautiously, and started looking for more paper – past the usual shelter and the trail seemed to continue from down by the road.

“ON ON!” and we were running along the lake, only to be “Looking” again, and then “ON ON!” again… “Looking” again… “ON ON!” again… What was going on? Strange set so far, and as I rounded a corner we found a circle hidden away in a bush, hashers running all over the place yet with a somewhat clear paper trail heading off to the left??? I know that normally when Reverse Thrust gets to circle checks there is already paper leading away from it, but this was a bit strange… Around a field to a wall, with a little message asking us to be quiet, and a ladder to ‘help’ us get down… Through a little moobahn, and to the road. Again, “Looking!” – at least it was keeping the pack together behind some fast visiting FRBs, but it can’t have been anything like the harebrief! Again we found a circle and just off to the left some paper – it wasn’t until we got through a field and saw the hares looking bemused, that we discovered we were going backwards. (Well it is REVERSE THRUST).

Horny Monkey had been listening to instructions about mexican hats, but mistook some flower pots for them and wasted time looking for balls underneath – eejit! Incidently we were supposed to be at the Ag centre, but he’d done a good job finding something different… On the other hand, there is a reason we normally run on the same trails – less stinking muddy cow shit to paddle through! Less Barbed Wire gaps to crawl through… Less fences to scramble round, over, through…! Finally we got back to the Ag Centre area, and then it was time for a quick short cut back to the A.