Category Archives: Blog

Courtesy Alice

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Frozen & Rooter then Frozen & Wavy Gravy combined to set a bijoux belter in the wilds, a quarter of the way to Chiang Rai it seemed.
If that’s the price we pay for new trails and a change of scenery, so be it.

Frozen’s camo signs did the job, losing a songthao, admittedly with a sight impaired navigator. More crucially he also lost the beer monster of the day ShSh. No, no, no Frozen, just use proper red on white signs like the big people. Kvetching about research showing yellow on black or black on yellow is the most noticeable tends to pale after telling lost sheep the same for at least 5 years. I saw 3 out of 4 signs so I think I deserve a Browny Point for being super cautious and careful.

Not sure why hares have to bore the pack explaining what our Hash markings are. We know. Encourages smart arses/asses to try to be funny with the same dopey comments week in week out. Talk to the visitors quietly pre-run and point us on our way. Simples.

Not a dig at FD, that’s every hare. FD was succinct but half the pack were disrespectful just sitting there when ‘circle up hare brief’ was called. Not good.

I’m sure all we need to know is, “Follow white strips with the run no. Trail is thataway. Take water. Make me proud.” (Rooter quip)

Anyway Frozen twirled us around in a wonderful circle of forest trails, shade and only one bastard rocky hill with paths scarcely fit for living beings.

Checks kept most FRBs (HRA, Cartoon & EmmaRoyde) honest and recycled the lead constantly. Pussy had started off like a train nailing checks. ABB loitered with intent at the checks and stuck around like a large jobby that refuses to flush. Skiddy and Banksy were well up with the pack throughout with Dutchy enjoying a happy break on a rock half way up the hill climb.

A surprise beer stop in the forest cancelled some braindead splash and once more, refueled and vigorous, up we bashed and down, then up a nasty bamboo grove, around the end of a lake and onto decent red mud path for the run in.

Strangely and self went stride for stride, agreeing to up the tempo after the On In and got called out by ABB for being racist. As if!

Our four Aussie visitors all contributed to the circle: Testicles, Shithead, Arseholeo and A.N.Other. Liked Testicles’ story about naturally his testicles in a bar and Cartoon’s story with the punchline: What good is just fucking one, BOTH of them! Not sure that’ll get past the BBC censors.

Good to hear splashes from Softballs and have Mary Poppins back from Edwardian London. Alice got the wings as the sole CH3er to do the Ball Breaker despite HRA booing and hissing. One more miserable bastard off my Xmas list. Bah Humbug.
Onon CH3!

It was Delboy’s 43rd birthday and what surprises and treats would HRA have in store for us?
Plenty as it happened…

Would he rehash his last run? No! He sneakily rehashed one of Cumalot’s from a year ago instead!

Potato Head got the first check right and in very splashable style waved his arms up and down on the road yelling, “Paper here! I’ve found it!”

We soon turned for the forest on the right and here I blitzed 3 or 4 checks heading up into the Doi. Cartoon found the 5th to the right as I blundered about in the trees well away to the left and by the time I’d got back, half the plodde…also-ra….pack had passed me.

The loping ABB stepped aside as I jogged along the lovely forest trail, Pussy Whisperer too, but Piggy shimmied this way and that upon my polite call of, “Passing left please!”
“Which left do you mean?” he barked.
“ The other left!”
‘FO grandad!’ he’s getting next time!

Cartoon was nailing checks and Delboy although the stronger runner, was taking the duff options then catching up. As we came to another circle near properties, he went straight on the best trail. I went right around a garden fence while the lemmings followed best option Del, apart from honest Krapthai who went left.

Paper! I called Onon and put my (newish) Decathlons to the road. At the next corner I was on again after yet another circle and followed concrete for another few hundred meters. Shit. No paper. Go back. Double shit. FT partially hidden.
Leaving the strips on the fence, I turned into an orchard 50m back and bingo! A left, left box in the woods brought me back almost to where I’d turned back after the FT. I really pushed myself to keep ahead and couldn’t credit I was ahead of Delboy.
Back along familiar trail and a sharp left through a bamboo gate. Cartoon missed this but Del didn’t and caught me in the forest about 10m shy of the powder OnIn.
We ran in together to a wave from HRA.
Super run and 5.4km for me in decent time.
Capt Kagan enjoyed Frozen Morgan’s Spicy Rum and ABB excoriated all the non drinkers for getting sloshed.
Back at MadDog, the ever inventive Pussy W suggested a breathalyzer test be applied to all hashers after the circle to determine their Hash fee on a sliding scale.
A suggestion deserving of serious AGFU consideration.
Onon and HBFU Delboy.
Alice

Oh dear. The RA certainly fixed it for me. Like Jimmy Bleedin’ Savile fixed shit. Soaked thru for 30 mins on the drive in and home, and same same during the run. Nice weather for ducks as my old man would say. And fcuking idiot hashers on motorbikes too!

Arriving just pre-hare brief, I glimpsed Emma Royde’s snazzy ERII checks and heard there was W-R split. Eggelen chimed in both my knees together.

On the way out ShSh, Frozen and self were at the rear again and considering the big questions of the day. Was that gate aluminum or aluminum? Was it painted or anodized? Lucky the rain cooled my fevered brain as ShSh and FD demonstrated how we Brits and Septics are indeed two peoples, separated by a common language.

The rain fell even heavier and we turned off into orchards and then forest. Tiptoe and Rooter were ahead meandering this way and that in search of clear paper and trail.
Finding a damp strip I yelled OnOn! and realized Rooter wasn’t aware of our presence as he breakdanced like 10,000 V had just gone up his leg.

The ground softening, I headed on alone along flooding muddy trails until I got to checks where I checked and returned to the others, sometimes to give them the right info and sometimes not, as returning to a check discombobulated me somewhat. Was it left or the other left? Fcuk, I’m confused!

It really was something, shallow streams flowing along the forest paths and pools forming in dips. Still it hammered down and soon we were returning to the settled area and the A site at the cock ring shelter.

A few sick, lame and idle bastards were already there so we swapped excuses and waited for the pack to return.

ShSh headed off for another loop having told me my knee issues are all to do with wrong shoes and being too heavy for them. Sauce!

The circle was enjoyable with Piggy, Belly and ABB along with HRA the GM entertaining us with their wit, ribaldry and general character assassination. Saying that, I did get a sharp intake of breath when I contrasted clean living, upstanding hasher Pussy Whisperer with Purple Fart, the hasher most likely to breed with another species!

Rather wonderfully Tom Callahan the Co-Hare didn’t know what a brolly was, so eventually we settled on his Hash handle as Mary Poppins, to raucous cheers. Piggy did the honours in style, an MC of some talent, weddings, award nights and circumcisions a speciality I hear.
Great set in a lovely area with a shelter fit for circles – and for cockfighting! Well done Emma and Mary Poppins!

Chim-chimney, chim-chimney, chim chim cheroo…keep your fcuking shorts on next time, Skiddy please do!

It was out in Sankampaeng, near the ‘airplanes’ – I’ve never made it to a run here, so it was clear early on that the likes of Cartoon had some advantage. I arrived with enough time to get changed, grab a bottle of water, but unfortunately the over exuberant hare had set them off already, but it wasn’t far around the corner when I started picking off the walkers – Libbers, Tiptoe, Frozen etc.

It was going to be flat, and wet and it wasn’t long before we were dancing over flooded waterways. I was back with the pack well before the first of the beerstops – here I went the wrong way, so was catching up again as we ran along the road. Trail turned right at a junction with no check, which was immediately suspicious. Up ahead the likes of Cartoon and Skiddy were paused, but then carried on, but without any call that I heard. When I got 80m down the trail there was a circle. Typical – if only someone had called. By now they had scattered onwards, so I turned around and went back to the road – here Belly got a slight advantage over me and HRA and he put in a bit of a jog. We chased him down as the road went through some ricefields.

Again my radar was suspicious, and I spotted something whitish off to the left and decided to check it out, even with Cartoon calling from behind me that he could see the paper going straight on – presumably to a false trail, but you’d need to hide it a bit better to trick me. Here we got onto quite a nice trail that was headed back in the general direction of A with a creek on the left. HRA, Cartoon and I took turns until a check visible the other side of a metal bridge. The construction of the bridge was clearly very stable, but it was rusty, and my hatred of bridges took me a while to brave crossing it, even with a second beer stop just on the other side!

A second beer stop – what a treat! The pack was a bit ahead of me heading back towards the road, and I suspected my chances were over. I forced myself to jog, and found I was feeling better than I have recently – hopefully early signs that my fitness is returning? Sheep Shagger ran past the turning off the road, and then we were following Cartoon who was suddenly off paper up ahead – I looked to my right, and there was the false trail. Back a few steps and into an alley, when SS called it, I darted past and hit the front with Cartoon splashing through the mud to my right. Around the corner, we must be close by now and I was flowing along, until another FT. Damnit! Those following me turned around as well, and all ran past a turning at the back of the temple – I ducked into it, and sure enough there was paper and it was just a short way around the temple and I spotted my car and the A site on my right.

Nice one!