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27th Sept – CSH4 – Knock Out

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I got a phone call before getting to the runsite to say they’d run out of signs, so if I got there first I might want to put some signs up… – if only I knew where we were going! Way down the river, so far that Turkish & Chuckie got lost and gave up, while Rin, Stuart, Belly and Anything got lost and were late. Those of us that did make it to the start were ready for Skiddy’s farewell hash. Skiddy will be seriously missed from the Chiang Mai hash community – a complete hasher who does more than his share of setting, organising and making sure the hash works throughout the year. Lets hope todays run will be a fitting tribute to him!

A flat run, in the orchards – surely there would be some water crossings? Brownie and I set off at the start with him promising me that I could have first pick at the first check. It wasn’t really a surprise that the check was skiddy sticks, so gee thanks – I got them… It wasn’t a surprise, but ALL the checks were skiddy sticks… The checks worked really well, and we were zig zagging, criss crossing, all over the place trying to figure out the route. With trails all over the place, it was tempting to start looking for true trail before the sticks were found, but who knew when the false trail would be reached?

The trail was pretty similar to one we’d done before by KO, so some parts were a bit predictable, but the checks were so hard! A normal circle check gives us a radius of 100m in a circle – i.e. an area of 31415.93 square metres to search for paper – bloody hell that is a lot! However, if the trail can be 100m back along the trail and 100m of either side, we add a 20000 square metre area – i.e. Skiddy checks like this changed the search area from 31416 square metres to 51416 square metres – at times we might have had more luck finding MH370.

Running along we were often wondering if we’d missed a check, or missed some paper – a good mental exercise. The checks were keeping us well together, nobody getting any advantages. Finally we got to a check that really foxed us. With hindsight, we were searching too far back from the sticks. I went the most obvious way, and had gone 100m and back, but nobody had found paper. Humps asked if I’d really checked it, so I went back and went further. No calls, so I kept going, and finally got out on a road. Paper Everywhere!!! It was going left, right, straight, all over the place! BUT, it was clear that I hadn’t found the trail the way the hares intended…. Still no calls from the pack… I went back and forth along the road trying to figure out what we were supposed to be doing, or where the paper was supposed to have come from… Still no calls.. I could see Piggy on the other side of a field, so called over to ask for help with the mystery. He headed in my direction bringing much of the pack, as we all short cut around 3km off the full run.

Not far around the corner it was the OnIn… Excellent checks that did a great job of keeping the pack running around like confused lemmings. Confused lemmings that like jogging along hunched down to avoid the tree branches.

25th September – CH4 – Adorable Blue Balls

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“Adorable”? Abominable! The guy’s from Bangkok, never seen a hill before, and wants to use it all in one go?! 😮 We have a new hasher that’s read the Square Rooter book of haring – he probably has a signed copy! And I guess he doesn’t like his new hashing community? >240m elevation gain – the first haring is breaking records!!!

The runsite was new – we’d run there before, but not from that exact spot – I actually thought it would be easier, but it did take me some time to get my head around the exact position I was in… We set off in the direction of the Fire Prevention Centre, and Junglicious and I headed the group with Brownie itching to get running behind us. He’s at a different pace and was clearly frustrated on the narrow trail climbing the hill “can’t we run on this?”. I thought better of it, but he nipped past, only to fall on his face moments later. At last a check. Brownie set off up the hill. Chuckie and I discussed how there was nothing up there – down to the left was more likely… Some ‘spore’ also suggested to the left, so we gave up the high ground, and promptly found plastic rope scouting markings. Lets let BF go a bit higher before we let him know….

ON ON, and back to a familiar hill / ridgeline. Like a 2nd home to Chuckie, he started attacking it. My mood improved when Junglicious past, but I could only follow her for a bit as the pack stretched out up, up, up. Given the way we started, it had to be arcing to the left, so perhaps I could take off some of the hill, so I broke off to the left. I didn’t realise Taste My Buns was behind me, as she chased me into the bushes – retracting quickly when she realised I was attempting a short cut. Attempting, and failing… I’d not been in quite that area before, and for good reason – there was no way through. I had the choice of hacking a way down and out, or up and back to the trail. Reluctantly I chose up, and climbed to where Mr. Poo and Knock Out were.

I looked for every opportunity to cut off to the left, but there wasn’t. When I did come to a check, it was straight on, and paper visible from the check. Finally the “top” was where we intersected a trail and cut back down to the left. The trail would have been alright without the rain, but I was forced to walk for fear of twisting something, and I was quickly dropped from the back. We were heading towards the Ag Center, and I felt the lure of the nice flat trails at the bottom of the mountain. I met Humps, KO and Poo when the trail abruptly turned left, but I opted to head down and after walking up and down hill for so long, finally go for a run at the Ag Centre.

Memorable certainly! Adorable, perhaps not! 😉 I hate the hills!

13th September – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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Numbers were seriously depleted again, perhaps from the threat of rain, or perhaps because Turkey was the hare? Anyway, the group assembled for Turkey’s hare brief, before setting off on trail.

First check could have gone 4 different ways, but I was lucky picking the right way towards the inevitable hills. Another check, and I gambled through a gate into the orchard that I’d got stuck in a few weeks back on Frozen’s run. There was paper there, but it clearly wasn’t from this run. Although I spotted some white in the distance which was surely where the OnIn would be. Chuckie called from off to the left, and I hacked my way through, crawling under a barbed wire fence to get back on trail.

I was a long way behind, but finally caught up at another circle check. No sign of CW, so I assumed he’d broken clear, until Poo told me he’d short cut on old paper. There was a lot of old paper, from Itchy’s run, Frozen’s run and Taste My Buns’ run, so its an easy mistake to make. Taste My Buns led the way across rolling hills passing Frozen on a strategic short cut, and back out into the orchard. So soon? I checked into the jungle as surely we weren’t heading back yet?

The race was on as we came through the orchard with TMB checking one side of the lake, and me going the other side. I was right!@ Excellent, with Knockout and Poo following… huh? There was the racist TMB up ahead having gone the ‘wrong’ side of the lake! Some local knowledge had her gleefully calling OnIn, only to find CW already tucking into the beers when we got back. 30 mins, a very short loop, but still one that a lot of people ‘short cut’!

11th Sept – CH4 – I Got Gas

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IGG stepped up with Krap Thai for a run at IGG’s place in Maejo. Given the traffic, I got there early, and waited along with Chuckie admiring the dog kennels. Finally the bus arrived, just before run time, along with Knock Out’s car, and at the very last minute the hash cash Piggy.

We set off, and for once Chuckie was running from the start. The hare had told us there was a long on out, and only 4 checks, so perhaps he was on the hunt? ONLY 4 CHECKS??? Was this a hash or a run? After 800m on the road, we finally got to the first check. Chuckie neatly stepping ahead of me to get first choice. Damnit – he had to be right – surely it was going to be along the trail to the left. I was so convinced that I half heartedly trudged along to the right, paused for a while waiting for the inevitable On Call… It didn’t come, and as Junglicious appeared at the check, I figured I ought to put some effort into checking… Sorry CW – another 20m or so and there was paper!!!! First check done, and in the bag – my dilatoriness had even bought myself a bit of a lead…

On past the square lake, and into the hills of Maejo. Plenty of chances for good checks, but just the paper trail heading on ahead. I finally heard Piggy behind me as I got to another check. My guess ‘left and right’ – sure enough I was right, and calling On. Slowly Piggy and Chuckie started reeling me in from behind. Another check – the 3rd – it was the turn point… It could be up and around to the left – there is a trail that cuts back down to the square lake – or it could be to the right – my money was on right, leaving Piggy to take the left option, while Chuckie followed me. On On – 3 from 3 so far!

In tandem with CW, we stretched out down the hill, with no noise from behind. Discussing how if we could nail the last check we’d be home free. There is was – a quick discussion, and we both figured right and then left. Sadly, it was left and then right. Piggy slipped by, damnit! The last check, still a couple of clicks from home – we needed a miracle! And it happened when trail appeared to run out, and there was a stretch with little paper. CW took off up front, and my weary legs tried to gain motivation to follow. It wasn’t there, Piggy past, and as we got back to the lake, and back to a 1km or so following the outrail backwards, I slowed down, only building motivation to jog along once Taste My Buns caught me.

It was all worth it to get back to the pool in time for the bikini show! 😀

30th August – CSH3 – Pamela

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A smallish turnout with many of the guys down in Pattaya, including the GM. At least it didn’t take too long to do the hash cash. We were fortunately swelled by visitors. Hare brief complete, we set off out of the gate of Pamela’s house and along the road. Belly Dancer typically sprinted off, but his UK vacation hampered his stamina, and he didn’t quite make it to the first check – some km or so into the run. I was immediately on the back foot, following Piggy and Struggles to Cum into the forest.

Along the gully, a few checks were straight on, until we started zig zagging – a short cutters delight which clearly wasn’t wasted on Belly who suddenly popped out of the trees in front of me. Finally we got out onto the mainish trail and I was following Adorable Blue Balls. At the next check, he went right, and had to be right, so I followed and sure enough we were on the nice trail that cuts fairly flat between the hills. Over to the road behind the night safari, but rather than using it, Pamela had taken us up the hill along much nicer trails. I was nailing checks, but inevitably my luck ran out, and got one wrong.

A lot of runners managed to pass me by, but when the trail came back out onto the road, I managed a little sneakiness – suggesting to Piggy he should turn left, when it could only be right. Back in the hunt and the pace quickened with a group of us heading back towards Pamelas. The mainer road – surely it wouldn’t be back on the out trail? It was, and I was thwarted at the end – but I managed to get back with it when Piggy mistook the OnIn for a false trail, and again when he chased off after Struggles who started going around again.

Anyway – a good run!

28th August – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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Itchy pretty consistently delivers good runs. chatting to her the night before we were wondering if anyone would show up, so she promised me a short, easy run! With a lot of the guys out of town at the Pattaya Outstation, a lower turnout was expected. Sleeps on It brought along a new virgin, and Anita back from last week. Piggy hadn’t left yet, so with Crap Thai, Does Nothing and Cougar the songthaew arrived with additional hashers – plus Cumalot…

About 5 minutes early, Itchy sent us off up the road. I jogged off as usual, and shortly after the virgin went running straight past! WTF? I was expecting a short, easy run and now we have a real runner in our ranks! I let him go, and Piggy past too in chase mode with over 1km before the first check! When I got there our virgin was roaming around like a headless chicken. Shortly after Piggy called on and we headed towards the hills.

Expecting an easy ride, I got a few checks wrong – she wasn’t going easy on us at all – it was off into the great trails behind Itchy’s place. The lead was rotating nicely between Piggy, Cory and I, with Humperdick and the new runner from Bangkok. My memory isn’t doing too well right now – I can’t remember names, or anything! We ran into the hills, and then out of the hills. I screwed up one check, but nowhere near as monumentally as Piggy did – right at the end, when he was racing towards a win at the finish, and he gifted it to Humps.

All in all, a very fun occasion!

21st August – CH4 – Struggles to Cum

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Struggles to Cum teamed with Can’t Keep (It) Up for a run from their house in the valley behind Doi Kham. Virgin hares… What would we have to deal with? I arrived early following the freshly printed signs to a nice coffee shop. CK(I)U was taking out the trash, while STC was apparently finishing the trail. A weeks worth of work had been laid out before us in the hills and he did a good job of confusing hare banter – was he lying or not? Barbed wire, Bear traps…???

Finally STC got back and embarked on the worlds longest hare brief filling up the time before we were off. “Only Circle Checks”. Out the gate and along the road, finally I found some small bits of paper clipped to a bush and we were off. A circle check, and I ducked into a little lane. I didn’t see the paper straight away, but there it was heading over a creek bed and towards the hills. Humps was just behind as we started climbing, but his voice was replaced by Pigshits as we did a little loop. I got to each check first – picked which way to go, and managed to find the paper as Piggy got to the circle behind me. This was going well – A little loop and I didn’t spot the trail off to the right straight away, so Piggy caught me as we went back down next to where we’d been before – of course Mr. Poo and Humps led the rest of the pack straight across to us.

Another check, and only one obvious trail, so I led the way climbing up the hill. Getting steep, we were approaching the main trail where there was bound to be a tricky check. I eased up and Piggy joined me to discuss which way it might be… He opted for up the hill, I picked straight on. Again I was right, and voices quickly faded behind me. A couple more checks and I was cutting down the side of the waterfall. A circle check by the river, and sure enough the trail carried on the otherside. No voices behind – I was clean clear as I tried to out think the hares. I mapped out the rest of the run in my mind and sure enough, I was right. When I came across Can’t Keep (It) Up as he fixed the trail up, his face was a picture! He started panicking about whether the run was long enough…

Don’t worry it was fine – a great run – not often you get 100% of the checks right – sorry guys, I couldn’t kick them out for you…

16th August – CSH3 – Potato Head

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Potato Head’s birthday run, but Daddy stepped up to put the leg work in. A vehicle scout on Thursday, and a scout/set on the hash day – Skiddy looked worse for wear and not excited when he got to the A bucket. He looked dejected – a sure sign things hadn’t gone the way he’d hoped…

We set off with Skiddy kitted out like a live hare – and from the hare brief, I was off looking for an “Imaginary Circle Check”. I did my best, but my imagination struggled – half a km into the run and I was still imagining paper! Fortunately Piggy found a trail and we set off. We scrambled through some shiggy, and fortunately I got a couple of checks right. Finally I got one wrong and caught up to the pack as they were confused. There was a circle check – Piggy called OnOn, but threw his voice so the pack followed close to where he’d been, and after a while we found a circle check – around the same time Piggy found another one just 100m to our left.

Which circle were we looking for? I headed right and found trail – but the trail was at a junction and heading in both directions… It looked like we should have got there from a different direction and run around the corner. Kinda confusing, but Cumalot followed my call… Another 100m or so and I found a check back… Hmmm What to do? No sign of anyone behind me – had I short cut? should I clear the check? I grabbed the paper and went back to the junction where trail was going both ways. As I started trying to make the trail Skiddy was calling to me off to the right.

Apparently I was wrong – I suspected as much, and was tempted to just carry on, but Skiddy insisted I went back and did the long extra loop. He told me “go to the next junction and turn right”. I suspected it was inside information to help me get back with the pack, so jogged off down the trail, while Cumalot called On On behind me. Was she calling me, or just calling? With a huge quarry to my right, I saw hashers the otherside disappearing… Was I short cutting? I wasn’t at the junction yet… When I finally got to the junction I turned right, and right again towards the hashers I’d seen… Finally I sign of trail and some paper!!! No hashers, no footprints, which way should I follow it?

I went left, and there was a set of skiddy sticks perfectly intact. Hmmm Had I short cut again? Was I ahead? Should I fix the check? I picked up 2 sticks and headed back towards where I thought the trail had come from, and there was Miss Piggy, walking along with Superbitch. They were probably as surprised as me – I don’t remember the last time I ran into them on trail!!!! I figured the trail out and slowly picked off hashers – Superman, Does Nothing, Geisha Gash (who didn’t short cut). Man I was way out of this thing!

I finally caught up with Anything, Banana Wiggler and Stephen as we got to the false trail that I’d already found. Humperdick was grumbling his way back from it, which gave some inspiration to running harder. Around the corner and there was powder letters all over the trail. “ON OUT” “ON IN” “OH FUCK” “OH DEAR” “OOPS” – I have no idea what it said, or which way we should go, but it was clear we were supposed to follow the first 2k or so back.

I got to the road with Humps and decided to go around to the left rather than just following the out trail back. Humps decided to do the same to the right, but unfortunately for him there weren’t trails to the right and he got his exercise back and forth on the tarmac.

14th August – CH4 – Frozen Dick

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10km down the canal road meant crossing a bridge ‘precisely’ 10km along the canal road and then weaving our way to the runsite that was easily accessed from 10.5km along! A T junction, a little persistent rain, and little sign of ‘sheltah’. Numbers hit by weather and season it was a mixed bag eagerly waiting for what Frozen had in store…

10KM IS A MINI BALL BREAKER!

So, harebrief done, we set off. Nobody else wanted to run, so I was on my own – until the first check, where I did a 150m in 180 degrees from the trail. Humperdick dawdled his way along to call onon – perhaps he was getting into the hares head. It wasn’t the last time I was wrong, and I spent the first part of the run checking the wrong way while Humps took his time on the true trail!

10km is a mini ball breaker!

We zig zagged left and right, passing familiar run sites at the karting track. But all the checks were going away from the A-site. We kept going, getting more checks wrong than right – the hare was doing a fine job of keeping the pack together – I have no idea how many times I passed Crap Thai, who was the FRB for a while in the middle. Finally we got to the turn – or at least we got to a circle that everyone thought was the turn… Unfortunately it wasn’t the turn, and we set off into a valley – was I the only one who had a sense of direction???

10kM iS a MiNi BaLl BrEaKeR!

Finally the trail ran out, by a house and a small lake. What? What was going on? I had a standard hash run on my watch, perhaps there was a fuck up? perhaps there had been a check there? For sure I wasn’t going any further into the valley. I knew there was a trail that cut through back to the left, so headed in that direction. Sure enough I found trail and called OnOn. I was ahead, on good trail, and set off back in the direction of home.

10km? seriously?

The trail was good through the forest, and we had a few checks that I nailed, and then one that I didn’t. I came back from the wrong direction while Piggy passed by ahead and I found myself with Beautiful Box. I could think of worse company lost in the jungle, and we set off to get ourselves lost in a lamyai orchard instead. No idea where everyone else had gone, we found bits of paper in various places for a while in the orchard. In the end we figured the trail wasn’t related to what we were supposed to be doing, and started to bail out.

10KM!!!

We finally heard calls off to the left, and joined Piggy who was also off paper, leading the rest of the pack. When we found him, we also found paper. He was sure which way to go, while I wasn’t so convinced… I regret not being more thorough, but we ended up going backwards on trail for a while, until we just gave up and set off back towards the cars. A worried hare met us on his way to look for us, but we found our way home…

If the criteria for a good run is keeping the pack together, he succeeded! If the criteria is setting a run of 45-60 minutes, he didn’t! Either way we had a good work out, and a fun, but tired circle.

4th August – CH3 – Byte My Yahoo

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Author Pig Shit
So with shit for brains it’s obvious that this will not be a long or detailed account, but as BMY normally does the write up’s for the run blog and on this occasion he is the hare he can’t be allowed to comment on his own run, so here goes:
The location was the depths of Mae Jo, 4th u turn passed the Uni. I was in the Songtau and it took a long time to get to the run site, I think about 45 minutes. We arrived to see the tent had been erected which was just as well because no sooner had we pulled up then the heavens opened up and it continued to rain for the next 30 to 40 minutes, heavy rain. (Thanks Turkish Delight, great tent, what forethought).
The hare brief was necessarily short as nobody could hear a thing over the noise of the pouring water. ‘We’re running on shredded paper, there’s only circle checks and the trails that way’, So we’re off. This is where things become a little hazy coz i’m head down, bum up running as best I can. I remember being bloody wet and seeing Sloppy Rod an Chucky up ahead most of the time. We passed Tip Toe at a circle check at which he had arrived, apparently with Frozen Dick, well ahead of the pack, (thanks to BMY giving him the grease on the best short cuts available) We didn’t see Frozen at that time and not again until night had fallen. I remember going up and up through densely wooded areas and the shouts of on on which could barely be heard over the consistent down pour. I remember long periods of fast flat running. In all I believe the run was well over the 6km mark and had a unanimous vote of excellent run. The circle was good fun especially as Frozen Dick and Liberace where absent for most of the time having decided to take their own route and coming in just before pitch black. The hare seemed unconcerned as did most of the pack with only an occasional glance back along the trail to see if they were returning any time soon, Eventually we saw flash lights in the distance letting us know they were nearly home. Anyway all made it back safely and we live to run another day. Again, consensus of opinion :great run. thanks Byte.