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And so, it came to pass, as the moon came into phase that it was the (Chinese) Lunar New Year & Spring Festival to be celebrated along with the CH3’s celebration run number 1100.

The faithful gathered at the “A” site; in Mr Poo’s front garden (read: abandoned car park) before the appointed hour where we donned our new special “Chinese New Year” t-shirt; sponsorship arranged by the Hare for this special occasion, thanks Sunspot (and Dusit). Resplendent in red, splashed with Chinese characters and the usual hash regalia, we were OFF with ‘measured haste’ towards Loi Kroh Rd. The first circle check was a bit too close to BUDDY Guest house for comfort but most were relieved when the trail moved West away from Buddy and towards the Garden Restaurant in a district peppered with guest houses, restaurants and small bars. We made our way towards Thapae Road, moved along on lots of powder due to expected heavy pedestrian traffic. More checks, some back checks etc but not too difficult to follow fortunately because of the cacophony in the district, we moved in closer to the target trail moving through Wororot market which was all decked out for the Chinese New Year celebrations, lanterns everywhere and throngs of visitors many dressed in their Chinese finery, and we, dressed in our Kung Hei Fatt Choi t-shirts, fit right in.

Meandering through the Chinatown area we finally hit the Ping river where powder became less clear but found on the tree trunks heading north towards the bridge over the river at Kaeo Nawarat Road. There was a back check under the bridge but that didn’t fool anyone except Space Invader who was racing around like a blue-assed fly anyway, just let him go… Crossing the bridge and down to the river frontage and under the bridge heading North but that came to nothing (FT I guess…) and the real trail proceeded South along the river’s edge with many pleasant, ‘local’ bars and restaurants. As we approached the new pedestrian bridge (to be finished soon…) connecting Wat Gate to Wororot Market, we came to find the first beer stop which despite the GM’s assurance was well-briefed in advance, were NOT prepared for 20-odd hashers showing up for a quick beer or two, the pack being ‘mostly together’.

It was here that the GM dislodged the fireworks he had been carrying in a small backpack and with the help of the local restaurateur, set off a round of firecrackers to celebrate CNY. There was also evidently more significant fireworks ready very near by for the sunset display which we were able to observe at the circle. The Hares really went out of their way with the fireworks but we had to move ON ON. From the drink stop, we moved East, through a few small alley ways and towards the back of Wat Ket Karam and along the road (Saraphi Rd/106?) along the river frontage along Riverside & Goodview restaurants back towards Thapae Rd obviously turning towards home. Along the river the trail took us to the On In which was on the East side of the Iron Bridge where the Hares arranged a second beer stop, this one being more substantial than the first, this being more-or-less the END of the trail. After some considerable indulging, the pack slowly made it’s way back to the “A” site where Tiptoe (injured and unable to do the trail) was patiently waiting with lots of cold beer for the pack. The official length of the trail as measured by the co-hare was 5.2kms. Even Superman was happy! (or maybe not…)

Circle called by the GM, and the usual offenders & sinners called in to be “close to” the ice. Alas, there were no big ice blocks to sit on as we usually do so the best we could do this time was to get the offenders to stand on or near existing crushed ice/cubes etc. As the sun was setting we did see and hear the fireworks go off (thanks Hares!)

ABB

Cuckold seems to like the area by the Sameong Road football field… He was enjoying a beer at a local bar as we showed up, wondering what he had in store. Pre-run, my only hope was that we didn’t have to climb the temple steps…. How soon do such aspirations fade?!?

The hare took a cane to bully us into a school boy hare brief – he would be sozzled, but was he sozzled already? We were pointed off, and rather than taking the usual river crossing, we had a little paddle (or foot spa). Paper was a little thin, but we managed to piece the trail together to the edge of the rice fields. They looked great! So different from last time I was there, someone is clearly putting some attention into them. I chose right, trying to spot paper in the distance… Nothing… When I finally saw powder it took me a moment to figure out we were on paper and powder. On on, and I was off with Lumber JO not far behind.

No checks through a couple of opportunities, and then powder straight up a steep climb. It was early days, so I decided to run it, and went into a small canyon / gorge? There was a circle check. It was a very strange place for a check. I was suspicious straight away. My gut said, go back, but being first there, I thought I should carry on. I started up the hill to the right, but then LJO cut in front and headed that way – he never came back… Instead I checked down to the left, facing off a fierce pitbull. Nothing there. Back up the hill, and I joined HRA as we tried to see where LJO had checked. Brownie came back down the hill, so we started exploring out into the plantation. No sounds apart from the odd “checking” or “RU?”. I got to the far side of the plantation, and kept scanning the horizon for paper – nothing. Poo called “RU?” from further away to my right. “Checking” was my forlorn reply. I realised there were no more “checking” calls from behind me, so headed back to the circle, which had already been kicked out. Muthafukas! I turned back to call Poo, and he was following me past the attack dog. An excellent check, where the acoustics just didn’t help the callers.

I turned the corner and could see 400-500m ahead, and no hashers. We were seriously behind. I pressed on, assuming Poo would be following at some point. Finally I caught Tiptoe, just before the trail took and ominous turn UP. This was a serious climb. Nearly 200m height gain, in a bit over a km. More importantly, WHERE WERE THE CHECKS??? I was off the back of the pack, and no checks to give me a chance to catch up. I passed junction after junction, and there were no checks… WTF? Was this a race or a hash? Pushing up the hill I picked off a visitor and HRA, chest exploding.

Finally a Wimp Rambo split… but it looked more like a Rambo / Lemming split as the walkers seemed expected to throw themselves off the side of a cliff – a new level of sadism for the hare? The trail continued to climb, but finally I could see some hashers ahead. There must be a check – it looked more like a picnic to me from a distance, but before I could get there, they were continuing further up the hill. Luckily I could settle into a gear and slowly move forward. My break came at another check, where the majority of hashers wanted to head further up to the right. It had to break left, so I followed Brownie down to the left.

We were on, and it was down… Brownie jumped out the way to let me past, and finally we could open up. I charged down, straight through one check, trying to guess where the hare would cut us across to the rubber wall. It was inevitable. I was wrong. I went left one junction too early. Fortunately Graven was powered by gravity and went straight on at the next, even though we could see powder heading through the resort. So the hare avoided the temple steps, but instead took us up the resort steps… I was growing weary, and I knew we were a long way from home.

Over the hill and down to the rubber fence, so obviously left that he didn’t even bother with a check. No chance this pack was getting back together. And then a RR/WR split? That wasn’t in the hare brief. I saw Graven & Brownie heading back up the hill, and opted to go around. LJO joined me, but then he took off as I tried to just keep jogging along at a steady pace. It wasn’t long before GI & BF came back from their little adventure up the hill and past me. It was a straight on in with no chance of checks, but the hare was waiting to poison hashers with a toxic juice not long before the finish.

A tough 7.75km run with a serious climb,,, I guess the hare was thinking, better to be too long than too short….

Brrrrrr….. It got to 3:30pm, and I took one look at my beer fridge and another look out the window – I wasn’t sure which was colder. The beer was tempting, but some exercise first right? I changed and headed to the car – wtf? The moment I stepped out the front door, I was regretting my decision. Bitterly cold, gusting winds – was this UK??? I had hardly driven around the corner when I needed to switch on the windscreen wipers… It’s January in Thailand ffs, not England!

Horny was the hare, at one of his favourite spots in Maerim – he loves setting runs when he’s trapped between the river and the golf course, so I had the route mapped out in my head before I got out the car. He was stood shivering in a rain jacket. What was I doing there?

The songthaew arrived and a gaggle of hashers started huddling together. Horny called 5 minutes to harebrief, meh… we wanted to get moving, warm up and get it over with. Finally we could set off and immediately headed into a construction yard. Even Graven and Chuckie set off at a run as we all tried to warm up – I still can’t believe how cold it is! First check was straight along the bank of the small river heading towards the Ping River. Another circle, and it had to be to the left. Piggy got to the obvious spot first, and turned back leaving the other FRBs having to head over to the river. As they ran off, I said to Piggy, “are you sure?”. “I guess I could look a bit more he said and ambled slowly back that way while Graven lead the rest of the pack in completely the wrong direction. Sure enough, after giving it enough time for them to warm up, Piggy called us on from exactly where we all wanted to go.

Then it was shiggy time. Not your average shiggy, this was the deep dense shiggy that no one in their right mind would try to hack a trail through. We know Horny isn’t in his right mind though, some how he’d ploughed through – no wonder his co-hare didn’t dare show up. We hacked our way along the side of the river, and then a circle check across the bridge. Tricky one Horny… I checked a couple of different directions, while the rest of the pack scattered. I was cold though, and it was raining, that bitterly cold UK rain. I headed along the road, and intercepted trail with the pack behind me (is that the definition of short cutting?)

Around the corner and an old favourite circle check by the temple – well, he would’t want to put paper down through the temple, so I respectfully jogged past some bemused monks to find trail heading into the rice field. There is a bridge along here, I knew that, but when I got to the inevitable circle, I took the time to check other options, and only as Brownie approached from behind did I go to crawl my way across the bridge – damn I hate those bamboo balance bridges. Sure enough I was on the other side, and when I hit another circle it was time to head in. Cold, cold, cold as fuck. I’m wearing 3 pairs of socks now, and my feet still feel cold.

Maejo, convenient for me, so decided last minute I’d pop out for a run. The directions were 2nd U-turn, the small lake, not the one at the Tiger’s Head. I assumed it was the square lake at the bottom of the hill, but there were no signs at the 2nd U-turn. I headed towards the Tiger Head, but started making calls. A hint suggested it was “that place Libbers likes to set runs” – which told me Praphat’s Farm in Maejo. Sure enough I followed the canal and found hash signs – called the songthaew to help them along.

As I got into the farm (very close to where I’d set on Saturday), I saw Libers moving signs around – the route through the farm was tricky – he said some of the routes were blocked with pvc pipes. I found the runsite without a problem, but I was on my own, and clearly Libers didn’t have enough signs. I gave him some more and he set off to place them. I meandered around – 10 mins to runtime, and no hashers in sight. Changed and ready to go, at 4:30, I strolled along one of the trails, and sure enough found some shredded paper. Should I just run? Nah, I went back to the A site. I heard my name, and some voices coming from somewhere, and then Brownie & Graven appeared up the hill. I suggested we set off and after a brief phone call we set off.

By the 2nd check I could hear Pigshit behind – I got that one wrong, so by the time I came back from a 200m check back (WTF?), I was with Scooby following him up the hill, with Poo not far behind. Piggy was ahead, but I wasn’t sure where Graven & Brownie were. They were even further ahead it seemed. The trail crept along the side of the hill over to another Cross check. Graven & Brownie were already through it, but we had to solve it again. Piggy went right, I went left, I guess Scooby & Poo waited for us to call? Finally after 200m again, I hit a check back. I wasn’t interested in doing checks anymore – 100m is ok, but 200m is not fun. Rather than climbing back up the hill I went around the bottom and joined the others on the correct straight trail.

Not much further and there was Brownie coming back from a check. A bit further on and we found Graven stood in the corner of a field. A tricky circle that went back up the hill and looped all around the edge of the orchard, but I intercepted Graven at the far side and after a bit of scrambling up and down, we came out to the motorcross track. A strange cross check. I guess it would have been mentioned in the harebrief? I set off to the right, around the edge of the track, and found paper about the same time that Graven called on to the left. Strange – it was a cross check, so he can’t be on yet. I followed my paper and from the groans the other side of the track, I guess they had found another check back. As I arced around most of the pack cut across, so when I got to a circle on the other side, the pack was back together. Lucky I got first choice and headed towards Saturday’s A bucket.

I was on, but Brownie was on my tail. Another circle check – this time kicked out already to the right. I turned left, following paper and tried to get Brownie to go right. It was one of my checks from Saturday. He paused to make sure Piggy destroyed the check so as not to confuse anyone else, and then they were on my tail. Another V check, and I just got first choice. I chose right, leaving Brown Finger with an evil 500m false trail. That put him out of it completely. Nasty hare. Luckily I ran through Saturday’s runsite, scrambled across a ditch the other side of the road, and there was the OnIn! Just a run around the lake to the finish…. Where there was still no beer monster, and no beer… 6:34min per km pace is quick for the hash, very quick.