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BMY’s succinct (somewhat apologetic) hare brief – “It’s a real male hash run, about 8 K’s. That way”. Uncharacteristically, the hare departed from tradition & did not lie. Shit I am tired. However, a technically challenging & almost unanimously acclaimed good & challenging run. Thanks & ON ON CW.

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From Brownfinger:-

After a prolonged season of delightfully cool weather, the more familiar combination of high March temperatures and humidity had recently returned with a vengeance to weigh heavily upon the broad shoulders of the Chiang Mai hashing community. Nevertheless, a goodly number of the male variety braved the dripping conditions to pit their wits against the evil Professor Moriarty’s latest bag of devious, despicable tricks. Doi Saket was the venue, BMY the hare, and the promise of a terrible 8k challenge awaited the assembled pack, one which would no doubt test both cerebral and physical prowess to the utmost limits.

No time to hang about, time was short, a 5 o’clock start – daylight fades fast amidst this hilly, densely forested landscape. But it was not to the hills but towards the road we headed, through a desolate landscape of shiggy, discarded household items (shitty garbage) and broad, dusty trails that had mangy black dogs lying in wait with malicious intent at every turn. Oh you nasty, disgusting hare, but we all stood tall and fought our way manfully through this opening set, onwards towards the beckoning hills and the welcome shade of the forest. Odds were even at this point, I reckon. We had survived the initial onslaught and had picked some checks quite easily and had failed miserably at others. Son of Robin Banks and another young visitor (sorry, I can’t remember his name, only his hair) were blazing the trails, showing us oldies how to run, and it was good to welcome back Cuckold with his lazy, metronomic running style that seems to have him out in front of the pack more times than his apparent rate of forward momentum would suggest.

The next test was a serious one, moving through the hills, sometimes on narrow trails and sometimes on no trail at all. It was here that we fell victim to Moriarty’s most heinous of tricks – a short paper trail, off a circle check, threading through the trees, that ended after thirty metres or so, leaving us all stranded on the side of a hill with no clue where to go next. After the run, the hare suggested it had been a mistake, a failed trail that he had been unable find and clear, but the grin on his face suggested it might not have been a mistake at all . . . you never can tell what is going on in the mind of the inscrutable Professor Byte!

And then the most beautiful part of the run began to unfold. We have run these trails before, but there are so many twists and turns and alternatives to take that the possible combinations are seemingly endless, thus providing numerous opportunities for “the-most-intelligent-hasher’ to play with the very simple minds of the FRBs. And this he did with the art of a master tailor, cutting this way then that way, seemingly cross-stitching the trails . . . what the fuck? At one point he had the first four, and some of the most experienced of our FRB’s, checking off a circle check all in the same direction, apparently mesmerised by the hare’s intent to misdirect. “Fuck me,” I could imagine them saying to one another, “it can’t be any other way but this fucking way. No fucking point checking any other fucking way . . . “And of course they were all fucking wrong!

But then the FRBs found themselves reunited and began to pick the checks reasonably successfully, again finding trail quite easily at times and being totally baffled at others. This ‘stalemate’ continued until we came out of the forest to the road and a powder trail – a check that should have gone right but went left, and another that should have gone straight and went right. A clear win for Moriarty right at the end when everyone thought they knew where he was heading . . . bah, humbug!

So, how did we simple hashers fare against the ‘cerebral’ and ‘physical’ aspects of the mighty Moriarty’s terrible 8k challenge? Well, physically it was indeed tough, my GPS showed 8.9k, all run in hot and humid conditions, but we all survived and came home in reasonable time. And cerebral it certainly was, but again we managed to outfox the fox to almost an equal degree of foxiness. But most importantly, we all agreed that it was a great challenge and a great trail, with those asked what they thought of the trail at the circle refusing to say a bad word about it – ice time abounded for this unthinkable crime.

So well done Moriarty, perhaps you are not as evil as your reputation would have it, but yet again . .

Anal Vice teamed up with BrownFinger for my 100th run! Yay! Wings in the bag! I arrived with moments to spare and set off with Chuckie towards the first check. An excellent circle to start with – so many options, and my choice was the not so obvious little path that cuts over a weir and up a small cliff. Sure enough, I was right, and broke into a bit of a trot. Not far later there was another circle, and although I was wrong to begin with (heading to the left) I spied paper off up the hill to the right. Crossing back across the dried up canal, I ducked in front of Stiff & Chuckie as we all headed that way.

CW & I pushed on up the hill, with Stiff keeping in touch behind – no sign of the rest of the pack. We drifted off trail for a moment and Stiff caught up at a V check. CW had managed to pass me when we lost paper, so he got the choice. Damnit! He took the tempting trail heading up the hill, leaving me with an ugly descent into a canyon. I was just clambering out the other side when I heard the “Check Back” call from CW. I pressed on listening to the conversation behind me. The next few checks I got right, including the check where we had to go back to the trail that cut off to the left before the circle.

Things were going well, so I pushed on. Finally a V check, and I picked left, regretting it immediately, but regretting it more when I saw the check back. Damnit – back up the hill, and CW ducked ahead of me – nobody else around… I pushed on and caught CW – but another couple of circles I just followed CW as there didn’t seem to be another option. Finally we got to a False Trail. It was a very strange check. I predicted the false trail, and had found some back checks before CW found the FT. Very odd. What were the bars for? First I cut up the hill to the right and then I ran over to a trail to the left that we’ve used before, but no sign of paper. I ran back to the main trail and explored up the hill to the right again – still no sign of anyone else.

Down to a circle check, and the obvious trail was right, while left would take us back to the false trail check backs. A hidden trail straight on was my choice and I set off. I was right and pushed on. Where was the rest of the pack? Another circle – tempting to go to the right, but I was starting to 2nd guess (or 3rd guess) these hares. I was deep into FRB psychology & picked the way to the left, back towards our other trail – nailed it! I’ve got these hares in my pocket – I could run it blind! A V-check – yeah right! I hardly even noticed it as I swept by to the right (to go left would only meet up with the check I got wrong). This was it, this was the dream! The perfect hash! Nailing all the checks! I was the hash god!

I ran along, and when the paper turned left, but the main trail went right, my confidence was exploding. Of course it would be a false trail – I set off down, but no sign of paper… 60m down, damnit, back up, and 30m past the corner was a circle. Arrrrgh! Not a false trail, it’s a circle check, and I only got to 90m! Back down the hill again, 100m, 110m, 120m… Damnit! I had to go back up and the pack would surely be on my ass any moment? Paper heading up again – “ONON” – silence from behind. OK, I’m still good! 😉

Emerged onto a larger trail at a corner. I was 50/50 – left or right. Right went down hill, left was a little up… I picked left, but after 120m or so, knew I was wrong. Ugh! I trudged back to the junction, and still no response when I called OnOn. Dipped down, and back up to the road – a brief stretch with no paper, and then another circle at the “road”. Again, left was up, and right was down. This time I went with right and jogged down only to find no paper, and have to climb back up again. Sure enough there was the paper up over the hill – and still nothing behind – WTF had everyone done???? From here the rest was pretty clear – we’d go back in on the out trail, so I jogged on in, and congratulated the hares on a fantastic job – it really was a great trail! I grabbed a soft drink and started debriefing the trail. 5 minutes… 10 minutes…. 15 minutes…. we started wondering were everyone was… Finally the pack came in grumbling about the lack of trail… At least Suckit seemed to find it as well – but he was running solo as well.

You have got to love this hashing shit!

Leap year day… Meh! the run was right outside my office – I could probably have sat in my office and heard the onon calls, so of course I headed out to get a piece of the action.

The A bucket was from the corner on the way to Galae Rest. Several options from here, but most involve a climb. Brownie was first out of the gate, and a circle check had most of us wanting to check up the road to the dam by Galae Rest. Brownie bizarrely picked down, and was eventually rewarded with powder. Fortunately we were running downhill behind him, but the next check took us up. I gambled on the hare taking us through the compound to the gate at the far end, but was sadly wrong… Very wrong… I was a long, long way behind climbing up the hill.

My legs felt like lead weights. Every step was a struggle. I pressed on, but not with too much effort. We hit the nice flat trail that runs along the “bottom” of the hill, and they were still checking. Some inside knowledge – of course it is right. So I slipped past Brownie as he came charging back down the hill, and Piggy coming back from the left. It didn’t last long – I conserved energy as they swept past. I felt shit, and all of my fears were realised when the trail headed up the hill. Yup – I’d been here before, but normally in the other direction. Dam this is a bitch of a climb. I was trailing behind the pack, and struggling – I was so tempted to give up and go back…

Damn this strava is keeping me honest! I conserved energy and pressed on. I was grateful when we stopped going up and edged our way along the side of the hill. I saw Brownfinger standing at a corner, having come back from a false trail, and then again stood at a circle check – very unlike Brownie! This time Poo was the only one checking up the hill, but heading up and over to the pilgrims trail seemed the obvious option. Sure enough we were right, and there was the circle check on the Pilgrims trail. Poo was ahead, heading right down the hill. Damnit, no way I was going up at that point, so I followed. Thwarted – finally Brownie called from up the hill. Shit, again I was off the back of the pack, and somehow we were climbing up the mountain again… Where the hell was he taking us?

I got back in the action as the leaders came back confused from a false trail. An excellent check that had them all over the place. Finally Graven found it, and I followed him down a deathly descent. Brownie I think was taking undue risks on the descent to the waterfall, but we got to the circle together with Graven already checking down the waterfall – he was checking down as we could see powder down there, so we followed. The next circle was great. No obvious trails, and it could be anywhere. I had no idea, and I’ve scouted this mountainside a lot. Off up to the left and this seemed like a trail, that turned into a proper trail. How have I missed this one??? This was new to me.

Piggy was right on my tail as we breezed past the hare hiding in the bushes. I knew the run would involve a fast descent, and now it had started. Push onwards… Straight into a false trail. Nice work CW, very nice! Damnit! And a nice switch back – I was just lucky to finally find the waterfall crossing before anyone else. Moments later I was back on the pilgrims trail, and hell I was running. Fatigue gone, I was running.

At the bottom of the trail, the trail breaks up all over the place before coming together again. Descending to the right is shorter, but steeper and more dangerous. The loop to the left is safer, and I think faster, so I opted for that, and heard about the circle check later when Graven hit it. They were still chasing me as I hit the road. Pushing on, I allowed myself a glance over my shoulder, Graven & Piggy were there, but far enough back. Could I hold them off?

And then another false trail……!!!! Mothafocka!!! So close to home, but still lots of action left. Next we had the waterfall slippy slide. On the road, and I needed a rest. I let Brownie go down the hill, as I headed up to the right. Wow! I was on, and heading towards home with Piggy. You are only as good as your last circle check. Piggy gave me the choice, and I should have known it. I knew I was wrong 5m later.

Excellent set, some really, really good checks in there.

Check out the evidence on fly by