Category Archives: Blog

28th July – CH4 – HRA & Chuck Wao

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Rating: 9.0/10 (2 votes cast)

The outstation to Pai! CW & HRA had teamed up, apparently with Shagless as well for a run in Pai, and a couple of car loads made our way up to see what they had put together. We arrived with a small amount of time before setting off, and I was feeling distinctly unwell. I should not eat that soon before a run. We set off around a lake, and I was walking. Lucky me, it was Scooby Do that ran into the first false trail, and we scattered looking everywhere but the obvious way – finally ABB called us on, and we nearly completed a whole lap of the lake.

Another check, and the hares were watching us, we tried several routes up the hill, but again it was ABB that found paper, and everyone but Scooby ran back down and followed the trail to another of Pai’s tourist attractions – the “Land Split”, complete with “Dancing Trees”. Not sure what that was about, but when we got up to the road, Scooby had already been checking. It was to the left, and I was still mostly walking, a little jog every now and then, while Scooby charged off into the distance ahead.

I joined TMB & Piggy as we followed, noting at each check the silence from ahead, but the sight of a bright T-shirt running away. We followed – a great trail, had I been feeling better I would have been running harder, but finally Scooby got something wrong, and I’d already spotted the paper off to the right that took us up the hill to the Beer Stop. We’d seen that paper on the way to the runsite, but you never can tell if it is a decoy or not. The hares were waiting, and smiling.

I milled around at the beerstop for a bit waiting while hashers checked the more obvious routes, and then set off to find trail – I did, but promptly got the next one wrong and was left well behind. Lucky for me, from here the checks were good. Get one right and I was at the front, get one wrong and I was way behind – this pack was stuck together. I got one wrong, but looped around, and picked up trail ahead again, only to run into a false trail, and spend a bunch of time checking everywhere but the right way. Again I was punished to the back, but had a good idea where we were now, and with new paper on the road, I figured it was straight On-In. One final circle check, and the rest of the pack thought there would be a sting in the tail.

Very nice run, on some great trails.

25th July – CH3 – Shagless

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Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)

A Shagless run from the flatlands in between the Hang Dong Road and the river. This is Skidmark land! Harebrief over, and we set off, with only CW and I making any early efforts. A V-check, and I went left, paper, paper, paper, nothing, nothing, nothing… I hunted around for a check back, but none to be seen – fortunately CW called ONON to the next check, and the checks were coming fast! I love it! Straight back into the mix as everyone was going wrong, but plenty of checks had everyone milling around together. At last I managed to string a sequence together and got a bit of a lead – the trail turned right and arrived at a “bridge”.

A bridge:-
noun
1.
a structure spanning and providing passage over a river, chasm, road, or the like.

I guess that is a fairly loose definition of a bridge… But does a thin piece of bamboo casually dropped across a raging river count as a structure? It certainly spanned the gap, but it didn’t provide passage for this hasher. I put a foot on it, and thought better of it. Ack. So frustrating! I could see a check on the other side, and I could also see paper in the distance to the left… But I couldn’t get over… The clock was ticking, and shortly CW arrived with Sloppy. They politely asked me to get out the way, and danced across the treacherous balance beam. Damnit!!! I tried to find another way… And when I say I tried to find another way, I mean it – It took me around 2.5km, but eventually I found another way across.

Sadly by that time, and by the time I found paper again, I was a long, long, long way behind. Not much later, there was another bridge, that just seemed to have a little too much balance requirement, so again I went back and found a safer crossing. I was sorely tempted to head home, but I also needed the exercise, so I carried on. Eventually I saw Tiptoe, Does Nothing and Bone Smoker ahead, and slowly reeled them in as we crossed the rice fields, but when we hit the road they ignored it and turned left to short cut their way back. It was tempting, but I turned right and pushed myself over more dodgy bridges, and finally made it back to the circle some time after the majority. Good run, if you like that kind of “bridge”!

23rd July – CSH3 – Does Nothing

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Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Behind the Ag Center – convenient from my office, until they put bloody student games on, and the roads were blocked solid. Damnit – I got there in time to unload beer, get changed, and listen to the hare brief.

We set off, along a familiar direction. An early circle check, and I left CW explaining how checks work to the visitors while I correctly guessed the right way. Around the corner and another check straight away. This time the paper was very close, and confusingly somewhat led us up a scramble, where the hare had clearly scouted thoroughly to find the most prickly trees to go past – the nicer route up was avoided.

I got another few checks right and things were going well as we headed up the hill. Uphill, ack… of course CW would catch me sooner or later, but seemed like we had a bit of a gap as there was a longish stretch without checks. Finally a circle check, and while CW went up, I headed down – always a risk, always best to protect the higher ground. Nonetheless, I headed down, and it didn’t look promising. The trail divided, and on my 3rd attempt I got it, but it seemed I was the only one checking down the hill. 100% record so far, but of course another check. My first instinct was to turn right and go down again, but that was too soon? surely? So I went straight and found nothing.

Back to the circle and CW called it from down the hill where I should have checked. All of a sudden I was in a traffic jam. A tiny trail with Square Rooter leading the way. All forms of politeness were used, and some less polite, but it was as though he was oblivious to his environment! Aaaargh! I’d been running well, and bam! The inevitable check by the waterfall, and from there I picked the main trail back, and popped out just in front of ABB. He seemed confused, but it seemed like a lot of the pack were already back and tucking into so special Carlsberg. Nice run!

Sat 16th July – CSH3 – Chuck Wao

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Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast)

The GM stepped up to set from the disco shelter… The A-site has changed a bit from its former glory days – now the mattress on the floor stands out from the burnt out shell of other mattresses and piles of trash. At least it didn’t stink, but I’d dread to think what it’s been used for over the past few years. Nonetheless we could get vehicles in, and we set up for the run.

We set off around the crematorium and up the hill. An early False Trail caught me out – having not paid attention to the harebrief, I was familiar with False Trails being marked with an “FT”, not just a bar, even by international standards. Not to worry, we went back and continued on trail, but it wasn’t long before I hit my 2nd false trail after finding paper off a circle. The checks were coming fast and the pack was together, following Sex Pistol up the hill. Everywhere I could have gone wrong I did, but then there was the call of false trail up ahead, and so I threw myself off the side of the hill down a gully to paper.

Not long after I found myself coming back from the wrong way at a V-check. At this point it was about “Hare 6-Byte 0”. A visitor from Spain led the way with Sloppy & I following. A circle in the field, and this one had home team advantage written all over it. I wasn’t thinking of checking anywhere except where Sloppy was headed, and we let the Spaniard head in the wrong direction. From here I could just about plot a map back to the A, and I wasn’t far off. The nice trail running along the bottom of the ridge, with a brief sojourn into the hill to let Piggy take a tumble, and Turkish take a short cut that ultimately didn’t help him. The pace was picking up, and HRA reappeared in the mix. Now I started predicting the false trails and stopped being caught out. A run that started out with me getting everything wrong, ended with me getting it all right, and there was the OnIn, cars and beer…

Sloppy, the Spaniard, Piggy & Cuckold all felt the need to do the run twice. The hare’s intention was to get a 45 minute run, but it is an inexact science. Sometimes it is misjudged and the run ends up a bit longer than intended, sometimes it is a bit shorter, they are all hash runs, and I was quite happy to grab a beer and enjoy my shower.

14th July – CH4 – Chilly Pussy

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Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Chilly teamed up with Anything to set a run from the left side of canal road. Yup, the left side… I could remember a couple of runs from that area, and the runsite was somewhat familiar. We knew straight away it would be flat. And also it would be wet – it wasn’t raining now, but it had been. It has been raining the kind of rain that signals the start of rice planting season, when the paddies are flooded, and it is better if we stay off them…

The briefest of hare briefs sent us scurrying towards the mud. All different kinds of mud… Squelchy mud, squishy mud, slippery mud, mud hiding at the bottom of puddles, and mud plain to see. The first check, and CW went left, while I took the boys to check straight – if that was 100m, then I missed some paper – I nearly gave up before finally hitting the shredded paper. Another check, and my gut feeling said the run would be clockwise, so I went straight again, and sure enough found paper. I turned back and called ONON, my call drowned in the sounds of a tractor trying to move through a drenched muddy paddy. I could see Piggy continuing to check in the wrong direction, so bellowed until he turned back, before continuing.

Another check, and I thought I had it with an option to turn right, I wasn’t quite right, but did manage to find paper, joint with CW. Cuckold screamed like a girl, and nearly vanished into a sucky mud hole as he tried to cut across from our left. As good hashers our instincts were to rush over and help him, but better judgment quickly took over and we stood and laughed. He dragged himself out, but 5 steps later disappeared up to his neck again – that is one muddy mofo! Screw it, lets hash, and we continued into the rice fields… Yes… Bad hares… There were crops around… :(

A couple more checks, but the pack was still sticking together. Finally I found myself ahead, and a circle check. Surely it was to the right, so I took my time, and surely found the paper. When I did I was ready to run. Looking at the strava records from Terror Byte & 8-Bit, it seems that check probably wasn’t kicked out clearly, as the two boys went the long way around before getting back on paper. Anyway, that was the last check, but there was still 2km gruel to go… I pushed hard, with Piggy & CW chasing, and Cuckold in the mix too. We destroyed some rice crops, and crawled through barbed wire fences, wtf were the hares thinking? Finally we hit solid ground, and I knew we were close to home. I caught CW by surprise as I took off past him – I don’t deny it, I was being a racist bastard. I pushed, but could hear CW & Piggy over my shoulder – I knew they wouldn’t crack, it was just a question of whether I could hold on long enough… That is a question that remains unanswered, the cars were just about (almost) in sight as I gave in, and it would have been a photo finish for the virtual OnIn.

11th July – CH3 – BMY

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

And so to Doi Saket. Cats and dogs for much of the day so this hasher was looking forward to some mucky soup to run in. Would he be disappointed? No time to linger before the off today and the shifty looking hare was spare in his brief and sent us off quickly to wallow in the “terrible gleaming mudcunt of mother” Thailand.

I can’t remember much about the early part of the run but paper arrived quickly and the dirt roads felt just right. What’s the ground speed velocity of an unladen chaparral cock? Pretty fast I think and roughly what Kwazi Moto was doing early on. Getting checks right and speeding along took him way ahead of the pack as far as the rice fields. Now, I remember someone somewhere, probably today’s hare, said that rice fields were out of bounds, but not today apparently and on on. Across a well-manicured lawn with water buffalo and a screaming peacock. And past a genial buffer pottering about unconcerned with a pack of hashers disturbing his peace and quiet. Even with one leg calf-deep in the mire Square Rooter took time to comment on the pastoral beauty. Boy, Doi Saket is real pretty after the rain.

Anyhow, after reeling in Kwazi I found myself slightly ahead of ABB and Pigshit and pressed on alone at a fair old clip. Then promptly got the next two checks wrong. The pack was together again. Up a gentle incline and along some Tarmac following Sloppy Rod only to see the hare kerbcrawling towards us. Did he think we were lost, or what? Further up the pack was together again. “Whaddyaagot…?! bellowed an impatient Kwazi to Sloppy, interfering with his sterling yet wrong work of checking.

Was crossing the road next? I was ahead at this circle check and chose right, and wrong as it happened, going at least 300 meters so convinced was I that this was the direction home. Futile. In fact the A bucket was in the opposite direction. From some distance I could see the hare in his truck and one Square Rooter slipping away from said truck on up to the moo ban. Of course I continued straight only to meet ABB coming back. That’s me buggered then. Third time lucky and up the slope we go.

At the top Rooter came across a sheaf of white paper strips on the ground. What to make of this? Could be some cunning stunt on the part of the hare. Rooter directed me on a wild goose chase and when I was a good distance on this chase he called On! On! And then I heard at least one more On! called from another direction. Bone Smoker got it. We were on our way. Very pleasing trails from there on in. With just enough barking canines to give Kwazi the willies!

Was the trail too mushy for this hasher? Naa, just about right. A thoughtful set that kept wimps and runners together for the duration. And what with no freaking never ending hill climbs I’m probably not alone in thinking we might have enjoyed a further couple of K of the same. NIce work.

(Courtesy Cuckold)

10th July – CSH3- Turkish Delight

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Rating: 9.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Turkish Delight, from near the back of the Ag Center. With all his years of experience I guess he didn’t realise it is rainy season? Normally this time of year the hares pick a nice shelter, and set a run over terrain that suits the conditions! Turkish just goes ahead with what he has… At least now Turkish has the tent, I just wonder why he waited until the rains were torrential before he started putting it up!

The rains weren’t stopping so we were pointed off and I jogged off to immediately hit a V check. I went left, and after a while ran out of paper. I searched for a check back, but there was none. I hunted around for a while, and then headed back only to find the whole pack coming with me. I was unsure, but the rain was persistent, so I went back and tried the other way – it turns out the rest of the pack spent a long time hunting around for paper there before going back, and I got a decent headstart.

Along the road, and up the trail that runs along the wall at the edge of the Ag Center. At the end of the wall a circle check – I love this circle, so many options! With time on my hands, I went back and tried the trail inside the wall, but found nothing. When I got back to the circle Sloppy was also thinking that way, but instead headed up the hill with me. Nothing, so I turned right, and finally spotted paper coming through the trees. Aha! I was On, but not sure if people could hear me. As the rain eased, I bellowed. Trail headed up towards a familiar reservoir, and of course a circle check. I’d already decided which way I was going and checked right across the dam – nothing. 3 checks in, and I’d been wrong 4 times, and was still ahead of the pack – I went up the hill and was wrong again (5), before finding trail back across the other dam to the left. Sloppy came running towards me, utterly confused, before deciding to do his own thing and not to be seen again until the circle.

At the end of the dam, another circle, and I went up the hill, while Sloppy went straight on. Nothing to be seen (6), so I came back down and found some short cutting walkers hanging around. No sound from Sloppy, and not knowing he’d quit the run I checked the way he’d gone (7). Finally I was called back to the circle by the short cutters and followed them around the lake. Back to the front of the pack, and there was HRA – confessing relentlessly about how he’d been short cutting. The trail started hacking its way up a hill – and was confused at one point when trail appeared to go left and up. I went left before the trail ran out (8) and had to hack my way over to the up option where I followed HRA.

Up,up, up, damn I hate these climbs, and in the slippery conditions it was a struggle. Finally a V-check, and HRA picked to go up. Lucky as I fancied down, and sure enough after jogging down a bit I found a circle. Been here before and there are options – another damn good check! I went straight on, up the hill, but the trail fizzled out and I saw no paper (9). The most obvious option was left, so I cut down and found that trail, but no paper (10). Turns out I was very close to where I’d already been checking, but had to climb up again and pick another route. Finally as I got back to that circle I got company and joined with CW and briefly Cuckold. CW and I found paper heading down another trail, that I didn’t remember well – turned out that it only lead to a gully of pain and hatred – no wonder we haven’t been here before. At the end was the hare, looking sheepish… We were 45 mins in, and although there was a V-check, he seemed to warn us that although going right was correct, we might not like it and to “be careful”.

There was another hill. CW was behind me for a while updating me on the health of various hashers – does he expect an answer? Does he not realise my entire body is screaming out through my lungs for me to stop and take a break? I stepped aside and let him go. The ascent was a tough one for this late in the run, and I had been putting my efforts in. A V check at the top, but I was only going to follow CW back down the hill. He wasn’t as convinced as me, so waited for me to join him but as the trail continued we knew we must be on. Slippery is not strong enough an adjective to describe it, and the pair of us gingerly made our way through – looking at the state of hashers following us, it seems most took a faceplant at some point.

Out onto the road, and of course it had to be left back to the A. We were so sure it had to be left, we both went that way, knowing beer was close, but amazingly no paper… (11). WTF?! An extra loop and we were back – CW generously slowing down to let me catch him and jog in together to celebrate my 300th run! WTF Turkish?!? In other conditions that would have been a splendid run – the smiles on peoples faces suggested they enjoyed the slippery mud more than I did! The checks were excellent, even if it didn’t keep us together, it definitely kept me thinking, and kept me getting it wrong!

7th July – CH4 – Pigshit

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Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Piggy teamed with Crap Thai from the football field – the canal road football field. He promised virgin trails – really from the football field? I don’t think he understands what virgin means – he’s confusing the word with ‘slut’. These were trails that have had more hashers going through them than half of Loi Kroh! Seriously though, it was a different combination, and it was a well marked run.

We set off across the road, and I set off well – getting the first few checks right, I pushed on, with the odd call from behind. I nailed a few more checks, and things were going well for me! After 2-3km I hadn’t gone wrong and emerged at a familiar mud road, with choices galore. Mostly I wanted to turn right, but the hare brief had said the wimp trail would be straight back down the road, and I didn’t think he would go back to the road just yet. So I tried every other direction, until Cuckold called us on straight towards the road. The wimps would have had a dull trek back down the road from there. Crap Thai didn’t give me the option – guarding the road like a bouncer he pointed me towards the rambo…

Here there was a long stretch without checks, and having busted a gut on the first section, I was feeling it. I should pace myself better, but then again, I wasn’t expecting this much! Finally a false trail caught out HRA, and there was a group of us together – but the trail turned devilishly upwards, and there was yet another hill… except this was more of a mountain than a hill. Part way up, I took a moment to myself to contemplate if I really did want to go up, when there was a much easier way back. The other FRBs pushed on, I steadied myself, caught my breath and started the ascent – I know where it goes, and it wasn’t really going in the direction that I knew there was some nice cold beer…

Anyway, I climbed up, the trail turned right, back down and then back up again. There were few checks, but not enough to let me cruise for a while, and I lost the front runners, never to get back into it. We joined the trail HRA brought us back on on Saturday, and finally started descending. There was a point on Saturday, when I wondered why HRA didn’t put a check back, and today the trail just continued down, to the fucking false trail! Nice one Piggy, but the FRBs had already been through and every group after would have to find the false trail again – except for ABB, who chose that moment to catch me up and pass me!

Passing a few good junctions the trail went straight on, following the same route back that HRA used. I walked & jogged, dreaming of the end. As we emerged from the jungle, another false trail with ABB & Mind the Gap confused. Of course he would follow HRA’s route back, and sure enough there was paper. It seems the other FRBs had simply given up and forced their way through the shiggy to get in, but I led the true FRBs in past the On-In and finally to the beer. A long, tough one!

4th July – CH3 – Team USA

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Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Kwazi, Frozen & Rooter teamed up for a USA themed run. How many hares does it take to fuck up a run? 5 o’clock came, and went… Apparently we were waiting for Sloppy Rod… Finally we climbed aboard the songthaew and set off to the B. It was a B->A. I am in favour of runs that aren’t just circles, but I much prefer an A->B, than a B->A… The logistics are the same either way – transport is either needed at the start, or at the end, but with A->B, we don’t know where we are trying to get to which makes the checks much harder. The thought of an A->B was too much for Horny Monkey, Does Nothing and Sunspot, who chose to walk along the dam for a bit. The rest of us finally got started on the run around 5:30. Thankfully it is getting dark late (I should remember that next week!)

It kicked off with some temple steps, but only around 100. And then a virtual check at the top. Sloppy went right, back down the hill, Lollipop (long time returner) went left, and I carried on straight up the hill. Not far along I spotted a bright orange rimping plastic bag dangling from a tree in front of me. Nice I thought… I jogged up, and this was the unique aspect of the run. Rather than calling On-On, we were to set fire to some fire crackers. I pulled the bag down, and inspected the contents. I have never set fire to fire crackers before, and had no idea what bit I should set fire to. Frankly I avoid town during Loi Kratong, at least in part because it scares me. I gingerly set fire to the paper, but it didn’t seem to have any effect. I was trying to get into the spirit, so called HRA over to help – he didn’t really know what to do either. CW was approaching, but just before he got there HRA figured out we needed to set fire to the string. Bang bang bang bang – we were off, UP UP UP UP!

We pressed on, steep up a hill that I’d scouted a couple of weeks ago, and decided against using. These hares were pushing on to the top. That much was clear to me, but we did run out of paper and struggled for a while to find trail again. Very hard to follow the odd bit of paper buried in bushes when we are scrambling through the brush. Not to worry, I got to the top, and a trail – off to the left a circle, so I was going right, and sure enough another bright orange bag! Many of the checks were visible a long way off, but the fire crackers did make a fun difference. I got the hang of lighting them, and collected lighters as I nailed a few checks – seriously I was thinking of setting something similar next Monday, but will go to Doi Saket instead.

Another check, and a nice little trail that cut down to the right, and then we were on the main trail. A long, long stretch without checks. :( I pushed as hard as I could, but CW & Piggy closed me down. As they swept past I struggled to get my pacing back together. I expected us to drop down into the valley to run it out, but instead the hares kept us on top of the ridgeline, and surprised me with the final descent – I will remember that one for sure!

2nd July – CSH3 – HRA

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

There are a few hares in history who are well remembered for losing hashers on trail… for hashers coming in in the dark as the circle ended… We don’t need to name names, but some of us have feared for our lives being left on trail in the dark. HRA is the latest to join that distinct haring club!

There was rain all day, it was miserable… As beer monster I had a duty to deliver beer to the medium sized group that braced the elements. HRA was nervous – something in his demeanour was even more concerned than usual – we even saw him several times out on trail, when any normal hare would have been snuggled in the shelter with a beer. The hare brief wasn’t brief – multiple Wimp trails… unmarked but for an arrow (an arrow that could have said “Save yourselves!!!”). When he finally pointed out the direction, even then it took us a while to find trail. Finally Obscene and I could call and set off away from the hills to a junction where surely there should have been a check, and perhaps pre rain there might have been, but there definitely wasn’t anymore. We found trail and continued into shiggy covered rice fields.

The side effect of rain is mud, and this was heavy going. The soles of everyone’s shoes gained 3 inches. Slogging along on the flat trails away from the mountains, we headed into shanty town. It had grown a lot since the last time we ran through (the AGFU)… Ah yes the AGFU, when we ran many of the same trails, when they were dry, and didn’t involve slip sliding around. We got to what looks like a wet moobaan development, and a circle had the pack spread out to the left. To the right I saw the hare, and headed towards him and trail. While most of the pack followed, Turkish short cut his way to the lead, and took advantage of the torrential rain to not bother calling. It was a clusterfuck. I couldn’t see without my glasses, hardly anyone could hear even if we were calling, and the paper to mark the trail was soggy anyway. What the fuck are we doing?

Of course it wouldn’t take long before Turkey fucked up. But then there was a check that fucked everyone up. Mostly as it was in a moobaan and the rain was so loud nobody could hear anything. HRA was on his bike like a sheep dog rounding us up and shepherding us in the right direction. Having lost ground there I took some time to catch up with Pigshit (who was “walking” today – wtf?), Shagless, ABB, Toe Sucker, Sex Pistol, Obscene… A bit of a meander and finally Sloppy was in sight, leading the way, and enjoying having first choice at a check on the road that surely took us home. He slow danced his way towards the A, insisting that I checked the “dummy run”… Well Fuck You Sloppy! You got it wrong!

We turned away from the A and headed for the hills… 5-6km in and now we were hitting the hills? What was HRA thinking? I second guessed a False Trail, and led the way up the hill. From there many checks were straight on back towards the A. For a while CW was getting 2nd choice on the checks, but refusing to see an alternative way… Finally he caught up, and when he picked it, he was off and home sailing all the way down and home. A LONG 9km run. The circle was mostly missing the hare, who was riding his bike around looking for hashers, and Sups, who was driving his car in search of Superbitch (what a husband!). Finally as the circle closed Superbitch, Anything and Bubble Head came in – at least Bubble Head had a smile on his face. I guess he was smiling that HRA just joined his Dad’s club!