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3rd June – CSH3 – Shagless & DGI

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

The runsite was south beyond the known limits of humankind! I woke up thinking I probably wouldn’t bother, but when Sloppy offered me a ride, I figured I may as well go – it was Chuckie’s 400th run afterall! We set off early, dropping Sloppy’s shoes off and picking CW up before heading south. In a year, when the road is complete, it won’t be so bad, but it took a good hour and a half to get there!

The songthaew was of course late, just a little, and we were off just after the usual start. I jogged off and promptly went wrong at the first check. I checked too far, but by the time I got back to check we were no closer to solving it. WTH? All the pack were milling around – surely everything had been checked? I spotted Sheep Shagger in the field, just past some “scary” cows, pointing at something on the ground – JC headed towards him, and so did I. Sure enough he’d forgotten the words “ONON”, and finally we were off. I caught them up at the next check, and there was the hare on his bike. Hmmmm… I checked towards the hare, and spotted a road the arced around – I wasn’t on, but had a feeling I would be soon! Sure enough I ran into another circle, called it, and then tried to find the right way to get to it. From here the obvious way was over a concrete bridge? weir? I went over, and poked around for a bit, but found nothing. Going back the pack was converging, and the hare came along and hinted that maybe I hadn’t quite looked hard enough – I was back over the water, and this time got it, with Spitz Spunk hot on my tail.

We had a stretch through some dried out rice fields, which was quite tough going – it wasn’t easy to find the right pace as with every step your ankles got turned in different directions – walking was fine, but any kind of jog wasn’t easy. Sloppy got a lead, but it only lasted for 1 circle, before HRA took the front. The checks came quick and fast, and several times we went from circle to circle with the pack rotating nicely through a little village. Sheep Shagger egging me on with some short sprints. Clearly we were rotating right, and at some point we would have to cross the water again. Sloppy was leading again for a bit, and then HRA back at the front. Chuckie seemed to be constantly just off the front. I was working hard and finally got my break through an orchard. Finally I put together a sequence of checks and was trotting down a lane with CW not far behind.

The trail turned back into the uneven dried up rice fields, and with my knee / ankle history, I had to slow down. CW caught me up and we discussed the “obstacle” mentioned in the harebrief – clearly it was something to get us back across the water – if it was a balance obstacle, then I was fucked… if it was a wet feet obstacle, then CW was fucked! He slipped past, and after a longer stretch without checks, Sloppy appeared on my shoulder apparently with little regard for his ankles – he was in it to win it! He passed me at the beer stop. CW grabbed a beer and kept going, I grabbed a beer, and Sloppy just ran off – seriously? since when has Sloppy turned down free beer?!? It was a V check, but Shagless made it easy for me as CW & Sloppy were already heading in the right direction. I followed as other hashers were arriving and got to another circle by a rickety bridge.

CW had crossed the bridge and turned left. Sloppy had stayed this side of the water. I didn’t like the look of the bridge, but I knew home was the other side of the water and it looked as good an option as any. I gingerly edged my way across clinging to the metal handrails. As I got to the other side, CW was coming back from the left, but there was another fork, and he tried that one instead. He’d found a hash sign for the ONONON and was convinced. I made it across the bridge and headed to the right. Sheep Shagger almost caught me up as I finally hit paper…! I’d been going steady for a while, so I still had something in my legs. I made the call and ran!

One more check…. a V check… and when I hit it, it really was a 50/50. Damnit! I didn’t have enough time to be wrong. The mud trail to the left looked tempting – I took 2 steps that way, and then stuck with the road. Around a corner and I could see paper into the distance. Run Forest Run! Poor Sheep Shagger had no choice but to take care of my discarded trail, and so when it straightened out, and when I looked over my shoulder it was Chuckie trudging along behind. A final corner and there was the ONIN. Sorry Sloppy you didn’t get your “triple win”!

1st June – CH4 – Alice & Spitz Spunk

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The sky was gloaming but the pack set off full of vim at 5 precisely after Alice found out his watch had stopped at 4:44 when some kind sir asked about the hare brief as it was 4:58!
Co- hare Spitz Spunk was also operating on Alice Mean Time as he missed his own hare brief by ten minutes!
HRA, Cumalot and Obscene hove to after the event with mumblings about invisible signs. Cumalot was driving, blame the navigator!
Obscene scampered off paper and off trail into a field after 50m, an excellent start!
The calls of the pack had receded as they crossed the field to a break in the wire fence. First circle took them right, then inbetween houses to an overgrown orchard. The tall grass was wet and long, but Kwazi suggested mowing it next time, and Frozen volunteered his tractor.
A v check took the pack further into the dense orchard and a tricky circle went left and around following the fence line. A bamboo gate could have been on, but wasn’t! The pack headed back to a False Trail that Sherman hit first. On On back and right back out to the road. A circle took the trail left and into another property through another big bamboo fence. ChuckWao was running well but got all but two checks wrong! Sherman was steaming but also taking wrong options and soon Obscene was in the van with Blows Herself.
A circle at a flooded quarry may have been ripped off but Blows Herself reckoned a run around the quarry was in the hares’ minds. She was right. Forest trail followed, partly used by FD and CW in reverse a few weeks ago and after about 35 mins Alice and Spitz heard ChackWao calling as he rumbled down the track towards the beer stop.
This humble institution was honoured by most but the circle check next up foxed the FRBs. Eventually Blows Herself called it loudly but the mad, barking dogs made her calls unintelligible to some. Kwazi and Frozen both ignored paper and went the wrong way, much to the hares’ delight.
Frozen reappeared and cadged a lift back, the hares just about returning in time to mark the last 200m of trail as the heavens descended and the trail turned into muddy quagmire. Kudos to ChackWao for excellent FRB behaviour and nimble Obscene who came thru the pack to pole position. Blows Herself, Poo, Kwaz, Sherman all ploughed home in short order with Sherman claiming to have found all three Falsies first! SheepShagger, Jeff, Forest Dump, ABB, PiPi, Happy Ending and her sis, and Cumalot came in next and some hashers appeared from the wrong direction having followed known roads home, HRA, Shagless, no names mentioned.
The circle was held under the cramped but necessary front stoop shelter of a new build home as rain cascaded down. Ben Dover entertained us all as he got his truck stuck in the mud attempting a 3 point turn. Does Nothing had the last splash and confirmed Chacky was finally a real man as he’d got his feet wet.

29th May – CH3 – HRA

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

(By Alice)

Forest Dump
HRA set a twisty, swirly, forest run from the new shelter behind the BaanSuanHimDoi restaurant writes Alice. It was wet when he set but luckily the rains held off for run and circle. Pack was small with one visitor, Forest Dump, a Septic from Seoul H3 originally.

Eye of the Tiger
Pre run Sheep Shagger demonstrated great skill with HRA’s blunt chopper and ploughed a few square metres of red mud while hacking the base of errant shrubbery. Turkish, with his Tiger Woods driving ability, played golf under the trees with a stick and told anyone who’d listen he’d paid 9K baht for a set of clubs, which he’d never played with.

Norwegian Wood
From the off we crossed the road into the woods and 200m later we were already buggered. The paper just stopped. No check, False Trail, just nothing. Shrek, Chack etc scampered further and further to no avail. Amusingly Frozen appears 2 minutes later from behind the milling pack, shouting OnOn as though he’d found trail.

Hallo Hallo Good to be Back
Eventually HRA was summoned and we were sent west past the farmhouse to locate paper and recommence. Back to the road and then a check, somewhere. ChackWao shouted checking and headed further along the road, other spread but quietly. I crossed the road and found a gulley heading deep into the forest behind the Snake Head Buddha Temple. No bugger was guarding the check or replied where it was, so 100m was difficult to judge. I heard an OnOn call and saw colour moving right. Guessing they’d gone up to the temple or similar I climbed up and thru to find no one and hear silence!

Take the Long Way Home
Back at the road I meet HRA and newly arrived Sloppy Rod. We get redirected to the check and trail. Damp forest, gulleys, sharp switchbacks and spurs, up, down and up. Bits of paper were missing in short sections here too and there wasn’t always enough at checks to leave clear trail to join the check to trail. It doesn’t help that some rip short strips into stamp sized morsels and scatter among stones, many of which are white.

Runaway Boy
Sloppy was running like a machine and disappeared with alacrity. I catch Frozen, describe the issue at the check – which he later describes as complaining! As if. Up through the wet, green trail, well marked until a steep but soft jungle bash down to an unkicked out check. Every bugger had run through and all the paper was still hanging by the circle. Shabby hash behaviour.
Sheep Shagger was carrying a rock the size of his head and dreaming of a road to dump it by. The road and HRA marking a W/R split came soon enough.

Wishing and Hoping
I headed across into the forest and reasoned that if trail was headed back to the A it must turn left at some point. In forest silence and alone, I clamber up a hillside hoping to find trail and paper. At the top….nothing…so I bash on up the spur to the adjoining ridge. Bingo! A check and paper hanging. Which with this pack of bastards could mean they’d already run through.
I check east down a pretty thick wooded slope for 120m, nothing. Shiite. Back up and along an adjoining spur heading south east….yeeeeeeesss. OnOn!

The Dangling Conversation
At this point I hear Chacky 80m behind and the pack of FRBs. Another check. Mmm. Left looks clearer and easier, so I go right, I know what a devious knave HRA can be. Checking right! I yell three times as someone starts to yell Circle Check. After ten seconds or so Sloppy appears on my trail 50 m behind.

Checking right I shout again.
Are you on?
Checking right!
Are you on?
Does checking right sound like on on?
Then why would I break the circle and lay paper?
How does checking right sound like on on?
Because you mumble. If you took your cock out of your mouth maybe I’d hear you clearly.
Yes, it’s that time of year again folks!

The End
Sloppy took left trail and found paper with an On On that sounded nothing like Checking right. I cut down a steep path and jumped a deep stream gulley to follow the streaking American out of the valley and up a bank to the A. ChackWao gambolled in next and the pack returned in good order. Jeff and SS with his rock plus Does Nothing were already home and Superman in a clean 18 years old hash t shirt and smart work slacks had arrived by car.
It was circle,bike and curry with the guys in town. Kudos HRA, another lovely set in one of your pet areas.

27th May – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast)

(By Alice)

Turkey Trot
Turkey laid a real turkey of a run for the Sat crowd, swelled as it was by the raucous rabble from Hamersley H3 in North Perth.
His run was mostly flat and sometimes wet, winding in and out of fields, tips and sticking in the main to gravel tracks.
The set was not without challenge. He didn’t take his hat as it was overcast and only one bottle of water would suffice. D’oh! Spectacularly wrong on both counts!
After a sneaky False Trail into the forest we turned left thru some official looking property and wiggled thru back paths to a wet field. Turkey was excited at the prospect of hashers sinking knee deep into wet boggy ground covered with thick grass. Remember that people!
The next set of circles were a f up. The hare appeared and angrily ordered Obscene back and to the right. While the pack was gone, TD laid paper from the same junction away in a different direction. Not great when you run a box, find a FT and know it can’t be that way because there was a circle check exactly there 5 minutes ago and no paper down the path towards the Ag Centre. Well there ffff was now and a sheepish hare standing by.
The trail turned into a wide track with overgrown field to left and wall to right. FRBs were coming back towards me complaining of a water hazard. ChackWao in particular was mumbling about not wanting to get his 900 THB trainers wet. I pushed on and yes there was a lake in the way. Luckily it wasn’t as deep as knee but it was ankle in some spots – and the shoes and feet got soaked.
Poo, BH, Knockout and Obscene were in the van with Sex Pistol going like Phar Lap out front. ChackWao rejoined us having avoided the lake but added yardage to his run he claimed.
At a check, Obscene went over 300m apparently to find paper and save us an extra 1.5km, much to the hare’s disgust. His loud shouts brought the pack on and we ran round a lake to a bastard gate covered in barbed wire. Obscene jumped it and incredibly HRA went at it, despite the sane among us finding a gap in the wire through the bushes 3m to the right.
A FT right and then a longish haul straight back to the A. The harassed hare appearing yet again on trail to fix paper and possibly put an On In after the FRBs had passed naturally.
Hamersley boys enlivened a circle well conducted by Knockout with Poo assistance. The arms and the plank reappeared and dear ChackWao brought the old fish pond for proper ice bath punishments and a good time was had by all not sat in it!
Quote of the day: I like a hash run to be crazy, not perfect run like some hashers want. You guessed it – the Turk strikes again!

25th May – CH4 – Chuck Wao

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

ChackWao set just about the perfect CH4 trail from the Disco Shelter writes Alice. As long as we ignore the first 200m where they pack headed out left when he said mind the bees on the left and turn right – or so he claims.
Luckily I was last and listening, so turned right and was FRB from the off! After a few hundred metres Obscene caught me and we dealt with the first few checks together. Across a canal, into the forest and around the edge of some orchards across fairly steep rough terrain. I was going well and nailed another couple before Sex Pistol and Blows Herself caught up, just as I hit a FT on a sharp rise. If SP’s scowl could talk, it would have sworn Joe Pesci to shame.
Knockout waited at the join to the real trail as she was worried Midder Poo wouldn’t see the 4 or 5 white strips from the FT I laid. I should have punished her for that!
Once Sex Pistol and Knock Out got ahead they made good headway as I tired, and Obscene with Blows Herself dealt with checks and the second FT in their own way. It was hot and hugely sweaty, by half way my shirt was wringing, my water was finished and the empty bottle jammed in my shorts.
Ahead a circle was called and I thought CW might just be devious enough to go back and left. Everyone else went forward, so I reversed and searched along the side of the piggery. Pig’s arse, I had fcuked up and Chacky true trail was just straight on!
At the next FT, there was confusion as the FRB’s weren’t communicating or calling clearly. I shouted to BH what was happening and confusion reigned as she didn’t see a check. It had been a left turn FT and Poo and self went left into woods and orchard to check. No! On straight again! HRA had managed to catch us and finished strongly.
My eyes were stinging with sweat and we turned a corner to see the blessed On In. Obscene was very proud of coming in 2nd he told me.
ABB or Poo told me about Jeff buggering his ankle so I went out on motorcy to find him wandering down a red mud track after the On In that wasn’t on trail back to the A!
Kwazi was accused of shortcutting and Sex Pistol had the affrontery to liken my FRB calling to a church mouse. Obscene was had for silly monkey running style. ABB was the TMB stand in – a shoe-in in fact, both German and like giving orders.
Wings were awarded to Coming Slow and Cumalot, by her boy child. Nice to see corruption and nepotism at work close up, and not just in the White House.
OnOnOn at Lazy Farang who now hold the slowest service record for recent months.
On on!
Alice

22nd May – CH3 – Alice

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

by Alice (on Alice)

Alice and Just Jim set a tough SAS selection yomp last Monday with two climbs and a ridge to contend with in hot conditions.
After 2 hours into the set, JJ was bent double, having set the FT’s and check backs up til then. He suddenly informs Alice that today was a fast day on his 5/2 diet and he hadn’t taken in any calories. FMDD!
The rest of the set was a bit of a worry but he made it hem headed home.
The circles paid tribute to Alice’s dad on his 83rd birthday. The good looks obviously skipped a generation!
The small pack didn’t lack characters and Libers was into Sups from the off.
The trail headed up the valley then up the hillside thru an orchard at the first check. Along a rocky ridge line for 15 mins with occasional views of the valleys on both sides.
At the circle off the ridge, the trail headed left on a wide forest path and FRBs HRA and ChackWao were calling the shots as ABB and DoesNothing followed them. SheepShagger was on his own mission to collect rocks for his personal Sharia court and his geological bent saw him fall behind and lose visual contact. A circle left untouched messed him up and it was GPS and guesswork that brought him home in 1:40, 30 mins after the runners.
After the forest it was open rocky road until a cheeky FT sent the pack back into the forest and down a scenic stream gorge and out into the lakeside property.
The check here was tough and it seems trail was found but from the wrong way. Another major headache for SS trailing behind and lugging 15kg of rocks by this time.
Up into the woods and it was right turn and climb, climb, climb back up the hills.
ABB sputtered about lack of trail but we laid on DoesNothing scouting paper, so blame the GM!
Once near the summit ridge the trail went right away from the out trail and round the hill and steeply down to a steep saddle. The last V check went on up the other side but an even steeper drop brought the FRBs down to the base of some spurs and a rocky streambed descent towards the lake opposite the A.
Libers led the walkers in, followed by TipToe and Frozen in just under the hour, having turned right into the valley from the check after the ridge walk.
Frozen made a witty comment about SheepShagger keeping his rocks in a box but Libers putting them in his head! When Libers got the circle, FD was banished to sit in ice-olation on Liber’s truck! A bit of BS about sitting/standing was stirred up by Libers. Coming Slow showed off his 2m snakeskin. On on in town was at The Swan Burmese and for the Hang Dong crew Lazy Falang. A tough run in harsh conditions with a small pack. Kudos gents for your sterling efforts.
OnOn, Happy Birthday dad and spare a thought for the innocent victims of Manchester.
Alice

19th May – CH4 – Doesn’t Get It & Shagless

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

(Alice)

Shagless and DGI put matrimonial harmony behind them to set a scenic and challenging 4.5km course out in the wilds 15Km down Samoeng Rd.
Sadly the wilds are being ripped up, tamed, fenced and planted but let’s enjoy ’em while we can. A fair sized crowd were informed it was a B to A so we jumped in the red truck and The Shag-mobile for the bumpy haul to the B. It seemed way more than 4.5km, plus the hare told us it was undulating and mostly downhill. Mmm. Scepticism ruled.
Trail was clearly marked in bent over long strips and the pack were asked to look for 2000 THB that DGI might have dropped. Sadly no finders and sadly no full body searches of returning male hashers by DGI.
Initially we climbed up a bit into forest and then the trail headed down a spur and along a deep valley side, with Shagless viewing our efforts from far away across the void.
Sex Pistol found that On On and we piled into orchards and across farmlands, thru fields of tiny fresh painted pepper plants.
The hardest check had three silent baskets going left downhill, possibly Poo, Just Jim and SheepShagger? Chucky and KO were calling loudly but in vain as was Alice down the right drop off the spur. The pack huffed and puffed by no trail was forthcoming.
In a moment of genius, KO wandered off to water the daisies and HRA stumbled into her mid squat. A squark sent him off at a tangent and Alice spied him nimbly stepping diagonally away downhill. Suddenly the demon designer gave a skip and a HoHo, then a HoHoHo. Bloody hell, thought Alice, he’s practising for next December! An ear blasting OnOn! made all clear and we were off again. At the next check, HRA gave Alice first choice and he fcuked it up naturally. HRA found paper and the pack piled through.
A long and sometimes iffy downward stretch was shared with ABB, SheepShagger and Obscene who took delight in flying suicidally down the worst sections.
Finally we were on concrete for the last steep bit and back down to the overgrown footy field A. Very nice job DGI and Shagless. Not sure, with all the bickering about who forgot the staplers and the paper etc., who was the boss hare, but I think Eve trumped Adam, and didn’t she let him know!
Frozen and Tiptoe made it home as the circle was getting started and Pussy Galore was pleased with her evening’s yomp and gave us her classic ‘Little Brown Cow’ rendition when called to the circle.
Friendly and tasty OnOnOn at DGI neice’s new place opposite Pasta e Basta. 150 THB for buffet chicken, pork, salad and friend mash potatoes. Yum yum.

21st May – CSH3 – KO & Superbitch

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Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Pamela’s 700th run… 700 is a serious commitment and deserves serious recognition! Congrats Pamela – Geisha will follow in a few weeks!

The birthday hares teamed up and we were running from near the football field in Sameong… – Near the football field had me intrigued – 100m before the football field? So we could be away from the excellent shelter in case it rained? So we could be closer to the loud music during the circle? At least we were closer to the excellent ononon buffet sponsored by the hares – thanks!

Sloppy Rod gave me a ride to the run, and we arrived just in time for the hare brief, although I didn’t pay much attention. We were set off along the road, and a circle had me circle guarding. A few comments about why I wasn’t out checking, but today I was conserving efforts – a 10k treadmill session in the afternoon nearly left me on the sofa! Why were they so slow checking? Finally it was called in the direction I would have gone and we were heading towards the familiar hills – this A site handcuffs the hares to some extent – at least we weren’t going up the steps…

Another couple of checks, and I was kicking them all out! Trotted along with Piggy for a while – he seemed to be conserving energies too. Turkish was walking… To be fair it was FUCKING hot! we followed the rubber wall (which now doesn’t have rubber), and a cross check. The trail headed uphill… Ack… It’s hot – do I really need to climb this hill again? Having not paid attention to the harebrief, I was told on trail that there was a beerstop. Fuckit, the beer up the hill is closer than the beer back at the A. It was a steep climb but a great spot for a beer check.

CW must have sprinted through, while the rest of us enjoyed the view and the beer. I got there with Spits Spunk, and newly named ‘On her knees’. A beer… A nice view… fuck me it’s hot… I was a tad unwell, and Piggy correctly punished me for it later! Time to head back for a beer at the A, and I made my own route. Definitely needed more than one shower when I got back. Hot season is kicking in!

Happy Birthday hares – thanks for the run, a different loop!

16th May – CH3 – Frozen Dick & Chuck Wao

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Rating: 9.0/10 (2 votes cast)

By Alice

Dream team Chuckwao and The Dick that never Melts set a belter of a run behind Frozen’s house down Canal Rd.
A small bit keen pack sniffed out trail along roads and lanes to start with before a few clever checks had us going thru a rocky puddle and scrub filled lot to a check. Hashers went every which way back on paths but Scooby and Alice had other ideas. On on! from straight across the property and out the other side.
HRA, Scooby and Poo were sharing FRB duties but the checks kept the pack guessing and together. Alice recalled some checks from ABB and previous runs in the area. They were tough then and still were.
Eventually we headed up a long lane to the forest and here the best part unfolded. We weren’t sure if they were taking us around clockwise or otherwise from the forest. The trails were great and checks did their job well.
At one point we got to a junction and HRA ploughed on to a False Trail. The pack as confused then Does Nothing saw some paper down a small but clear trail off at a tangent.
Alice was up it like a rat up a drainpipe and he got a second wind to carry him home to glory! Well, he got a few checks right and got to chose where he went on others, even if wrong.
Poo was second and followed me at some checks when he should perhaps have taken other options. At a cunning check, HRA followed Alice straight on in the rough direction of home. But there was a temping back and left track…Poo took that and we heard his plaintive OnOn call.
HRA and Alice tried to parallel through an overgrown field only to be met with wire.
Luckily there was a gap and ABB admonished them for short cutting when in fact it had been long cutting.
Poo was walking and jogging in parts and Alice managed to pass him.
Another check nailed and legs going well, come on, how long now….
Suddenly Frozen in Lanna hat on a scooter appeared at the end of the track and nonchalantly turned and drove away without eyeballing me. As if that meant I wouldn’t see him.
I sauntered after him at a decent lick and no-one caught me.
At the circle FD swore he never saw me – only Poo flying down the hill at a rate of knots, gravity assisting his 7 and a half stone runner’s build into a fine canter.
The chairs were welcome after an hour’s sweaty effort. Discussion was had and people had they say. Everyone sat save two who headed off. Keep the debate positive, don’t call anyone pussy or worse and perhaps no one will
respond in similar vein towards ‘runners’ who appear to hold ingrained views on the topic. It’s 2017. The world moves on. The pack changes. The America that 45 bleats on about being great was segregated and had lynchings of black people. What was great for the 1980s for CH3 may not suit current members and their age and ability. Keep the faith, let the debate be healthy and short, play nice, enjoy CH3 and OnOn.

13th May – CSH3 – Taste My Buns & Alice

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

When I got up the pollution levels were still in the “yellow” range, so when they were still there at 2, I ruled out hashing and jumped on the treadmill instead. 10km later, and the pollution was still yellow, so I grabbed a beer and settled down for an evening at home. By chance I checked the PM levels again at 4, and they turned green. I was tired, so laid down on the sofa for half hour pondering whether to go or not. Finally dragged my ass out and got to the run site around 15 minutes late. It is always interesting doing a hash run differently, so when Lunglaa pointed the direction I wondered if I would see any hashers at all!

It was the standard ON OUT. I’d forgotten my watch, I’d forgotten my phone strap, and for some reason couldn’t get my phone to connect to GPS. I quickly saw TMB walking back towards me – she’d just set the ONIN, and scoldingly told me to ignore it and gave me a hint where the trail started. It would take some pretty amazing checks to let me catch up, and my legs were struggling to warm up again. My progress was hampered further at the next circle, when I couldn’t quite figure out how it had been kicked out. It seemed to be to the left, but after 100m there was no paper, so I went back, and spotted another small square that was more to the right, so I followed that one 100m or so, again nothing. I know all these trails join up a bit further on, but do I really want to gamble when I can’t hear anyone calling? I went back again, and this time found the trail heading straight up the hill along a smaller trail – they trails would have come together if I’d just carried on in the first place – not to worry, I wasn’t in a hurry. I was starting to feel for the hashers that have to follow the FRBs figuring out the checks again.

The trail headed up the main trail into the hills, and a flash of colour ahead, as I rounded the corner I saw a trio of harriettes! Was I already back in the pack? Nope, they were heading back towards me presumably finished with their foraging! I pressed on, but I knew I wasn’t going that fast. The trail headed right at another circle – another familiar trail that had me trying to guess how they would get back to the OnIn – looked like a fairly short run around the edge of the valley, I can do this! And then a nice check, where the trail turned abruptly left, and up. Bugger! This looks like we are going over the hill – Belly has done this before…

I was so tempted to peel off to the right… Nobody would know, nobody would care…. But without a working GPS, it wouldn’t be easy to figure out how far I’d gone. I pressed on, and it wasn’t long before I spotted Sheep Shagger and Happy Ending, carrying objects which are probably better described as boulders than rocks! That must make hashing harder! It was still up hill, so I took my time. I got to the “top” – it isn’t the top, but the trail has a clear left or right option. Last time I was here I gambled right, and lost a lot of time, this time, it had to be right both because I knew where the ONIN was, but also the paper was torn in that direction. Here Stumbling Dyke & a visitor jumped out of my way as if they thought they would be blocking an FRB – hah! It was downhill though, so I managed to get a bit of a jog going.

I came out into the valley the other side, past some small farmhouses. I was down to a walk, but then there was a straight stretch so I could see quite a way ahead, and there was Cumalot! A target! A reason to jog, something to work towards. I jogged as best I could on tired legs and slowly cut the distance, and as I did, I spotted another hasher just ahead of her. Finally I got close enough to have a chat, but then I found I was going backwards again – did she speed up? did I slow down? Damnit I was tired! And hot! Geez, I started noticing the heat. Running in aircon is easier!

The trail was good – a nice route, but the challenge was getting the better of me. It’s been a while since we did that route, but the only thing running through my mind was how they would get us back to the ONIN – even the shortest route involved another hill climb around the back of the mental asylum. I had set off determined to do the whole trail, but my body was sending me a clear message. When the trail hit the road, I knew where I was, and I knew where I was going. I was going back down the road. I saw Shagless and Pigshit walking back from a false trail, that hadn’t been marked well enough. Next time the trail hit the road, there was Cumalot again – I wished her well on the hill – she took a closer look a the direction the trail was headed, and promptly fell in behind me to short cut along the road. At the end I was spent…

The cohare (thesaurus boy) has given me a selection of words to include in the write up…. So here are somethings that nobody said about the run “sublime”, “sensational”, “insouciant”, “masterful”, “majestic” and “melifluous” (sic)! I guess we could say that KO was mellifluous in the circle, and she showed a degree of insouciance about the late return of a visiting hasher! At the Yummy Pizza ONONON, the thunderstorm and lightning was pretty majestic, sublime and sensational, while this write up is pretty masterful! 😉