Category Archives: Blog

Does Nothing Does It Well

Songthaeo was packed as Kwaz hopped in and Cougar sat on the floor all the way to the hex shelter, referred to repeatedly by Kwaz as the octogon. Pleased I didn’t have to reach him maths! Welcome back Pussy Galore and Cumlord! Felt stiff and nauseous by the time we reached the A, made a note to self to use motorbike!

Does Nothing had planned to stay on the hex side of the road but due to roadworks and thick mud had decided to go over the other side. I wondered if he’d just reverse his last run here and initially it looked like he would.

The Water Is Wide
Down the access road we turned and Chacky baulked at the first water crossing. One FRB down at the first hurdle. Last Monday he does 18km in 2 loops and today 300m out then back! Man of extremes is our ChackWao.

Into the property and around in much the same way as expected. I was enjoying a natter with Rooter all the while and noticed we’d not ducked into the forest but headed out on the rocky main boundary path. Mmm, interesting. DN followed TMB and my trail in reverse as he turned right into the woods and followed the long winding upward path. Expecting a check here or there, I was surprised by lack of them and eventually we exited on another main cross trail. I was guessing right back down the next valley and a loop back but no! Not even a V at this junction, just paper left and back to the original out trail but half a km on.

Sting Something Simple
I was walking strongly, had left Rooter and Softballs a bit behind and when we came to the main trail paper went left and paper was strewn on the deck. Rooter suspected a falsie so followed paper into the hillside opposite only to meet the FT himself.
Down the road I yomped, wondering how DN would avoid out trail paper. Suddenly the big paper arrow appeared but thankfully no paper injuns. Into the woods and Aaah! A fcuking painful sticker from nowhere got me in the back of the right calf.

Walk On The Wildside
Meandering along a path 100m above the road I thought that was the plan – but the best was yet to come. Does Nothing took us into a beautiful creek bed, rocks, sand, gravel, water, bamboo, and the creek bed just kept giving. On and on and on it wound its way down towards lakes or dams on some farm properties. Chuckling to myself at TMB ‘enjoyment’ of this section, I yelled On On every couple of minutes and only once or twice heard a response from behind. Basically it was me, nature and white strips. As trail came out on paths I started to recognise, I tried a little jog and the leg responded favourably. Yay! Thank you Oh Danny Boy for your on-line PT!

Sitting On A Barbed Wire Fence
I wondered how DN would get us back and yes, he used his broken barbed wire fence cut through. Passing the flocks of geese, it was back to the water crossing and home. About 75 minutes of super trail and even a couple of short jogs under my belt. Great stuff Does Nothing. After Turkey’s lovely Saturday set, we’re on a roll. Over to you Cumalot for next Saturday!
On on,
Alice
Ps the sticker was a wasp sting and half a dozen hashers got nailed in much the same spot. ABB’s interrogation of Cougar to find the Thai word for wasp and Rooter’s wasp impression was one of the highlights of the circle.

German precision and efficiency was back in evidence as TMB laid a lovely runner’s run from a new A 12.5km down Canal Rd and a bit past Suckit’s residence.

SheepShagger lent me one of his running vests even though I’d lost his hiking pole the week before. We set off towards the crem: which FRB’s hopes would be reduced to cinders by OnIn time? Alice idly wondered.

Onto the awful light pink paper semi strips and away left towards a huge flooded quarry and a check. Sex Pistol called it from left and the pack followed. At the far left corner another check. Shrek went left, SP right with Chacky in her wake and ABB directed operations and suggested it was straight past the working dumper trucks and he moved at least 20m by the time SP again called from the right somewhere and Chacky relayed her call. And

Here the trail snaked around the next quarry on clear paper but Chacky had other ideas and went straight for 200m off paper to the next check that SP had located from the correct direction. Most of the pack followed suit as they had a vague idea what was up.

Along a main trail and a turn after a check up into the forest. Dark, green and stony paths gave way to dark green stony creek bed as we hit a check deep in a junction after a V took us right.

Sexy was caught by now and Chacky found paper as the pack spread to check thickish forest with thinning trails.

Up we came back to a wide earthen path and a V. Many headed left back towards the checkback from the first V. Right it was to a t junction where FT went left as Shagless and Does Nothing found and a few nameless FRBs went right without calling or marking.

Now into thick forest, the trails split 3 or 4 ways at various points and you guessed it, there were checks! At one OnOn was called from afar and paper was laid thru the bush to get there but surely not the way TMB went!

Shagless was really pushing himself today and Tiptoe, Doesn’t Get It and the returnee Pigshit were legging it apace. Sqrootly also shook a leg when the going got good and even Cabbage Patch once he smelled beer from a km out.

At a big junction a small trail ducked right and we were running down and back for sure towards home. The path curled thru lovely forest and suddenly we were at a flooded dam. ABB checked out a circle on the opposite side and Alice found paper down and right although runners had passed for sure without marking.

A devious circle in a V split and we were lead a merry dance zigzagging back to the A with a FT and a circle that kept runner honest. Ish. We even passed a pink strip stapled to a lady’s sunhat and Suckit’s house too.

Obscene and Cumalot were adjacent to me all the way back from here as we meandered back in just around the hour mark. HRA appearing Jesus like from nowhere after losing the pack and running back on his lonesome the trail. Thankfully I missed Obscene taking a forest dump but ABB didn’t. Where was Frozen and his mobile bum gun when you need it?

4.9 km for me, a km more for the FRB checkers.Tasty run and tasty OnOnOn at Suan Sabuy!

The Hare’s Tale.
Not Chaucer but Alice with a tale of pilgrim hashers on the road to the A bucket and thence Bannok Coffee Roasters.
A mid sized crew set off from the new houses in the soi just past Wat Nam Phrae where Alice and Spitz had initially set.
Frozen was kvetching about what time is this, when do we do that etc so Alice sent him off pre hare brief to get a start.
TMB and Sex Pistol looked so happy to be crossing a flowing
dam as the pack set off, they looked even more gleeful an hour later as they returned the same way!
Once the overgrown steep cut through was accomplished the pack were in the overgrown cow field. Tasty went right and the first circle and Scooby left. He was noted by his absence and silence from then on for half the run!
Out on to the road and a V. Tasty and Sexy went left and wrong,Scooby right and right. He was seen disappearing up the lane next to the white temple but not heard. Sexy informed the hare that her fellow antipodean was most Turkey like in his hashing today!
A couple of circles up the long lane were run through by Scooby who judging by Strava routes of others must have singly turned right onto the path to the forest and hit the False Trail then doubled back into the property to find true trail.
Up through a farm to another check at a junction just below the first line. Here it was straight and nice wooded trail to another 5 ways check. Tasty was back in touch as she took the back and right option and ran down the wide path to a frustrating False Trail. The pack were bunched again and Trail was found down through the field to the small tree covered creek. Trail dipped and dived down here but most runners crossed to the clear orchard and followed paper from afar despite Sex Pistol’s exhotions.
A familiar checking corner greeted the pack as they emerged. Tasty reversed down a trail she’d previously used but On was left then a sharp right into the forest. 5 minutes of bush bashing and the FRBs were out on a clear path. Home was left but so was a False Trail bar after 200m and the pack searched for the found the cut through the long grass back to another open trail.
A bit of wiggling and a V that Sheep Shagger took right and wrongly, then a tricky circle with overgrown paths and trail in fields as options. Tasty went under the canopy into an open meadow heading to Canal Rd but Onon was called from the opposite way.
As the FRBs came out into tarmac the paper went right and then into another overgrown cowfield where paper was tricky due to the sunlight.
At the other end it was road and a last check designed to catch the absent Chacky.
On 56 minutes Alice and Sticky heard Scooby yelling On In and clambering under the wire down to the overflowing dam wall.
Tasty was second and tiptoeing through the water but Sheep Shagger ran past her splashing his feet like a naughty schoolboy. SexPistol, HRA,Musk Rat and ABB soon followed and surprisingly Cabbage Patch only a couple of minutes later. Ben Dover made it home and the Tarzan call of Frozen Dick announced the arrival of the aging hippy with Tiptoe, Does Nothing and Rooter bringing up the rear.
Surprisingly the heavens didn’t open and circle was under open skies with ABB and Tasty getting the wings by some skewed logic!
On on!
Alice

So we went to Fang for a prelube outstation. I drove up with TMB, wondering how many would show up, whether Alice would be fit enough to set the run or if HRA would have to step up as a substitute. We arrived and checked in. Sex Pistol’s car was in the car park, but she was sleeping peacefully, and we finally managed to wake her up with just enough time to get to the runsite. 3 Hares, 3 Runners. Personal hares!

We set off and kept together as a group for the whole run. We may be few, but it was a different style of running, much more friendly, co-operative, collective. At the first check, TMB went left, I went straight and SP followed the true trail to the right. Her lead didn’t last long as she promptly got a false trail off a V check that meant she had to take a dip in a creek. I led the way for a bit through a bit of an orchard, shiggy shitty shiggy, but then we were free and on to a decent trail that headed to a child monk quarters. And then the trail literally went through someone’s house – we had to dodge their shoes, laundry, kitchen. It was off a circle, and I didn’t have the heart to call “ONON” as the family were sat around looking bemused as to why a random farang was running through their house – I went back and called the other 2 on.

We then ran 3 sides of a rectangular lake, only to be spat out 50m away from where we’d been before – very cute hares, very cute. Then it was time for some paddy field action. First another chance for a quick dip in the creek, only to hit a false trail. TMB managed to jump over both times, but SP and I chose wet feet. Damn hares! Naughty hares! Taking us past the farmers as they planted their rice fields.

We continued the lead rotating as we took turns like a pelaton. Randomly I was stopped at a house to chat to a random farang who had met the hares the day before. I had to chase a bit to catch up the ladies and we got back to another lake at the meditation centre. A false trail to the right didn’t fool me, but as I headed around the lake the heat was starting to hit me. Dang it. I hit the deck for a brief nap, being showered by the ladies water as they passed me by. Power nap over I rejoined the mix, and followed SP as we spotted Alice up ahead. He told us we weren’t far from home, but we were well short of the promised 7.5km. I don’t think we missed anything.

SP was leading us home, until the antepenultimate check – she went right, and wasn’t. TMB and I went left and were right, but I got an edge on TMB as there were so many roads, and I marginally guessed correctly slight to the left. We were close to home, but still time for one more V check. Dangit! I don’t think I can recall a hash where the FRB and the DFL came in together, there was nothing to split us, so if that defines the perfect hash, then well done hares, you’ve achieved it! Shame more didn’t make the run, but often the small hashes are the best and most memorable. The “circle” was a quiet affair, more of a civilised meal than a circle.