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Canal Rd footy field, plenty of great trails around there and plenty of old paper too, writes Alice. What would Poo do?
Well he messed us around on the footy side for the first part and as we came to the road some FRB yelled OnOn going up right and the pack followed towards the call but soon questioned lack of paper.
Continuing along the trail I found paper to the road and expected a circle or a switchback up towards the calls. Instead paper ran down the road to my left and across the bottom of the snakehead temple. Circle check. Mmm, the hare had appeared with powder in hand and smiling. Something was up!
Checking down to the left of the Wat approach I was sure I’d messed up but not for the last time today I was spot on. I did relieve myself in a bush without calling until the lizard was truly drained. This was duly noted by Chacky and regurgitated in the circle.
On trail again I came to another circle at the end of the flat ravine bottom.. The doi rose ahead and sideways. Likely trails left and a steep unknown one to the right. I chose right for bloody mindedness sake and it was steep. I was certain Poo hadn’t been up here and there was no sign of paper. Expecting the on call from way across left with a deep ravine to cross, I broke the tree line to check where I actually was. Blow me, behind the snakehead temple and there was paper ahead! I called and shook a leg.
That was the last most buggers saw of me as I put my best foot forward up into the doi and followed my own trail of a few weeks ago for the next 4 km more or less. At every check there was the chance Poo would change things, but he didn’t until a Km from the end. Right at the next circle, across the trail bike path, intersecting the ridge path and down to the valley. Here Poo could have gone right and around the south side but trail thankfully went left and so did I.
I was calling circle checks, on ons and occasionally heard shouts about 250m behind I guessed. My shirt was drenched and uncomfortable. I started feeling like the mist was descending. Would I do a Byte My Yahoo?
Poo went left at a junction where my path was right through forest but coming out of the familiar valley, he saved his best and sneakiest check. Running down towards my A bucket near Tin Tin, a circle check surprised me. I was sure it must be a False Trail but Poo hadn’t mentioned those. I reckoned he’d gone down and across the road and used HRA trails on the east side. Just before heading that way, I checked the path behind me and found an opening into tall grass. It wasn’t promising at all and shouts came from back on trail. Here my bid for glory was going to end. A blue pipe in the hugely overgrown property, let’s make sure….bollocks it was a blue pipe – but 10m on and low down was paper!
With energy renewed I managed to follow Poo’s winding trail in good time though familiar and a few unexpected ways.
Another switchback check and I was in the soft deep leaf gulley. Pushing on, I was on my own back to the A, voices fading behind well me. A last attempt to derail the Alice Express above the cockfight place. A circle to my right.. Was it down through the trees and the path along the big flooded quarry?
I thought about looking there for a moment, then pushed on straight and in my light headed state was chuffed to see those short, white paper strips.
Turning into the red gravel area there was a welcoming huge flour oN In and arrows. Poo looked carefully as I strode in then bemusement followed as minutes passed and no Chacky or Turkey or Piggy or Sheepy. After 5 minutes Pigshite ran in and Shrek appeared where others were expected. Turkey came home from his usual wrong direction and Sheepy was way later. That switchback check towards Tin Tin has done some sterling work and buggered the pack hollow.
Fine set from Poo, welcome home Angry and welcome again to Joel. Kai and Frozen brought up the rear and fielded raucous suggestions as to what they’d been doing with each other’s rears!
OnOn,
Alice

By Alice
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Funny how some people think how others think, or think they know what others know.
Sheep Shagger set solo from the crem out back of the Samoeng Rd footy field and was pretty sure everyone knows where it is because he laid a trail there months ago.
Well the first three arrivals all missed turns or weren’t sure, mostly because the HHH weren’t ready when we arrived. TipToe careering past towards Samoeng as our hare
struggled to secure his sign while standing in front of it!
Today was auspicious. The Kwaz’s last Male hash run until he returns. Years he reckons. 6 months according to Mystic Frozen Dick.
The A has a belter of a shelter but weather was fair and off we were sent. Checks had sheep images but not always circles-and False Trails had sheep but no bars anywhere “and they’re obvious when you get there” according to the hare. Both had yellow paper to use. Clusterfcuk ahead methoughtat the brief. And yes, clusterfuck broke out
at the first of each as none of the FRBs could be certain what they were dealing with.
Eventually we traipsed up through an orchard on a little path as we headed upwards. After 2 strips, nothing. The farmer told Shrek he’d not touched any paper. He’d probably tell him his relations with animals are natural. Lying road had stripped probably 200m plus and we were fcuked again.
Luckily we could see paper high on a quarry wall top track. We headed in that direction after coming across a FT from the wrong way, then a circle in close order. Portents not good and receding.
Luckily things went far better from here on in. We jogged the high quarry trail and the circle at the end was straight on. Left and we were too soon back.
Nice running tracks were enjoyed all the way to a broken area that turned into forest. The pack had spread. I was with Kai then caught Pigshit and a couple of others.
Forest was thick enough but well marked. Out we came and right to a circle that had been dealt with but not clearly.
Here Sheepy linked various trails that I recognized from Shagless or Blows Herself sets. I was feeling ok and suddenly we were at a circle with the emerald rice vista ahead. The Turk was yompibg thru the field. A couple of others were making progress tight to the field’s edge. No surprise that I found paper on the extremity. Turkish knows the area so was taking the line of least variance as the mathematicians call it. Shortcuttingbastardoffpaper is the layman’s term.
We were not far out now and traipsing along a narrow dyke on the canal side of the beautiful field. The sun was low and the green was mesmerizing. I jogged past Cecile B deShrek and promptly tumbled as I stepped down a hole.
Soon we heard shouting ahead. ChuckWao and Poo had crossed the bridge and were checking on the tarmac beyond. On was called then cancelled. We all looked back over the west side, then everyone piled back over the bridge. The Turk had vanished.
On a whim I checked into the paddy again. After 60m a sneaky little white square low down and another and another! On on!
I jogged steadily on the dykes and jumped across to a concrete road then back onto grass and there was Sheep Shagger at the back entrance to the A!
Only Kwaz was back having headed up the hill right where
we’d lost paper and done his own thing off paper from thence.
Mid pack and walkers came in ahead of CW and Midder Poo, who’d taken another (peed off) farmer’s advice. Finally the Turk from the wrong direction and on road!
Kwazi was toasted in the circle and a few bog seats, cocks, silly hats were awarded to miscreants.
OnOnOn was a beef buffet at Eurodiner, many thanks to the hare for sponsoring and the GM and staff for hosting. Aroy mak mak.
Alice
Ps thoughts and prayers for Florida residents and property owners.

By Alice
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We were running from Frozen’s investment property. It’s HIS area. He KNOWS all the trails. Yup, there’s only one certainty when all those factors are weighed up….Frozen will get lost and fcuk himself. Bingo! It happened yet again!
Frozen was pretty bushed pre run and explained he’d done 15km trying to set just the second half of the run. And got totally lost. And it was hot. And he didn’t have his GPS as he’d lost it. Sounded like the harbinger of doom was in top form!
With heavy heart, I set off wondering what dog’s dinner the upstate NYer would serve up. We turned right then left and suddenly were on a familiar trail to me, one near Pigshit’s lovely CH3 with Strangely Anal last fall. On on! I computed possibilities from here and felt quietly confident I’d recognise bits of trail at least.
Up we went round a property then a circle at a key spot. 4 ways and my nearest hashers didn’t realise where the could be headed.
Straight it was and we piled some the path. Suddenly the hare appeared on his bike to inform that the FRBs had run thru a checkback. About 8 of us had but were only 30m past so FD should have STFU and watched chaos then revelation. Anyway he pointed us back and we went up into to the doi on a little path totally new to me. Interesting!
We wiggled through the trees and up and down a bit then came down to an open area and circle. This check had us for a good few minutes before OnOn was called directly opposite and across the field. I’d gone right up Piggy’s return valley. Not the last time FD would fox me.
Lovely forest trails were enjoyed for minutes on end with some decent check options. We exited at another check. Poo went front left, I went right, knowing it was away from home but maybe a loop. The circle guarders didn’t yell loud enough and I continued checking and calling for a few minutes before I realised they were probably gone. Bastards.
Cutting across the big cambered field I caught up with the guilty, Does Nothing, Softballs, ABB etc by the next circle in the far left corner after two strips max. After a bit of forest the trail opened and I began to overtake the sinners.
Poo and Piggy were running steadily ahead as we came down a longish hill. I lengthened my stride from sparrow to blackbird and noticed the huge quarry left front and unmarked junction as the FRBs went right on paper. Mmm, suspicious. Piggy yelled Checkback as Poo had missed it and I turned down the straight inviting path west side of the quarry. Kwaz told me he’d have worked out it was really that way if he’d have seen no check only paper headed right. Hindsight? BS? We’ll never know!
Heading towards the wooded stream bed I scanned for paper in the creek or across the other side as our papered trail turned back on itself slightly. Kwaz demanded to know why I was off paper. I expected a False Trail call but the FRBs yelled Check.
Across the stream I checked the field and almost knew there had to be paper on the path at the far side. Kwaz was now checking closeby and as we hit the path, the On On call from away left. Fcuk, no paper! What had the hare done?
Suddenly we both saw powder! Had Frozen mentioned powder? No! We both investigated different spots of white. Yes, powder and new. We were on but which way?
I realised trail must go from the On call on paper towards us so ran the other way. Kwaz did the opposite but I shouted an explanation.
We were a few hundred metres ahead and I ran steadily back on powder with nary a rear glance until a huge clear powdered On In with arrow. This On In was as long as certain recent runs but I kept going with ten second rests and came home further infront of the pack than I expected. Confusingly, a powder arrow pointed the wrong way just before the last turn – a classic counter espionage technique!
Back at the A, Frozen explained that HRA had saved his bacon, located him in the forest part and perhaps assisted in the second section of the run. What a spiffing effort, top trails and good checks, well marked. A run that promised little from the hare brief, but delivered big time. Kudos Frozen and helpful elf HRA!
P.s. Welcome Kai, our newest member of CH3 and nice suggestion ABB for a truly Germanic Hash Handle- Scheissenhausen. Achtung baby!

(Courtesy Alice)

Wtf is H3 in CNX cuming to? Two runs this week and barely 4 km TOTAL! The Bunny was set in lovely area on nice trails but was just half the length it could or should have been. As a vertically challenged chimp I’ve had half a century of short arsing around and can recognise short change when I see it.
But ChackWao? The look on his face as we piled out of the forest onto the tarmac for the downhill jog home was worth the admission money alone. The fact that we were 20 minutes faster at least than he was hoping or expecting was writ large on his features. “Nice to see a hare who cares, like myself” observed HRA in as many words.
We set off in the songthao from just by the CMU fitness park. It was going to be a B to A run we were informed. We were to start about 2.5 km up Huey Keaw Rd towards Doi Suithep. Funny how going 2.5 up a road by vehicle then running back will generate 4-5km of hashing but Chacky is an expert and learned in CM and international codes. Plus he’s Blows Herself’s Captain Kangaroo hero and there ain’t many of them to the pound.
We set off downhill thru jungly paths that were not runnable. Trail kept a rushing stream company, some parts were stone surfaced, uneven and massaged yer balls. Of yer feet.
Checks were in tricky places and the pack were generally kept together. Sex P, Blows, Obscene etc took turns in the lead but Human Ex and Cougar were right up front half way thru or more so the checks did their job.
Chacky put Oh Aar checks which were basically waterfall views and false trails together, but marked liked a cross check. Mmmm, jury are out on that development.
Down we went, ever down, to a circle near a shallow waterfall over a wide rocky expense with people enjoying a paddle. TMB checked up right. No said Poo and he was right. Obscene and SP headed further down with Alice following but an On back call arrested our descent. Bugger!
We crossed a bridge and found paper that lead out onto a road and powder! Were we already that close to home? Answer:Yes!
Passing the fretting hare, I caught up BHerself and watched Kwaz and Obscene battle for glory. Kwaz was running, Obscene wasn’t giving the old fella a chance but Kwaz was pounding the tarmac, the smell of glory in his nostrils. Kwaz realised he wasn’t getting any respect from the young nipper so started shouting at him and trying to put him off. It was mean, low down and underhand. Excellent hash behaviour infact.
As we neared the A, I wondered if the hare had a final trick up his sleeve. Perhaps a cheeky turn into the zoo? Perhaps Kwaz and Obscene were running down to a check back! Wrong on both counts.
We three turned right to the A and Kwaz switched on the afterburners, his metal cleats showering sparks as he galloped towards the line. Obscene responded and beat the despairing NY legend into second.
‘I win. No 1! crowed Obscene.
‘First adult home!’ crowed Kwaz.
Then the circle and a massive deluge. A real dampener on the day. Welcome to Pascal from Peru and Renee from China, a Piggy protege, and why didn’t he bring the cute Sino-clicker before?wondered the males – and Obscene especially. His tissue strewn teen years are not long coming methinks!
OnOnOn had the best waterfall feature but I’m not sure if was just flooding or a real waterfall in calmer days. Good turnout, the pack deserved better but Chacky sited safety concerns on trails the opposite side of HK Rd. A likely Paddy porkpie.