Author Archives: stumbling dyke

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1539                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Hot Nipples

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1540

If you want a run set in the forest way down in San kamphaeng , call Sloppy & Son, trail makers of distinction, Est. about 10 years ago.

As you’ve probably surmised, Sloppy Rod was the hare for today’s run with young Kevin making his haring debut as co hare. The location being beside a lake in the forest  about 15 km down the San kamphaeng road from Promenada. We are now almost into December and consequently the  Rainy Season is becoming a distant memory with  the ambient temperature  becoming decidedly cooler in the mornings and  evenings. So many congratulations to our illustrious RA, Chuck Wao, for guiding us through the Rainy Season of 2020 with the minimum of disruption due to rain. There was hardly an occasion where we had to resort to shelter. An amazing record, I’m sure you will all agree.

About 25 of the usual suspects gathered round for the hare brief. To be honest, the only point of note was Sloppy kept emphasizing, ad nausium, the fact that a circle is made of 360 degrees. This is a point that would bear particular relevance very early into the run. Mary Poppins ‘sniffed’ the trail and we all set off into the forest past one of those Heath Robinson looking constructions , you come across from time to time, that are used to launch rockets to appease the spirits of the rice fields.

It wasn’t long before we came to the first circle check and the runners set off in various directions in quest of the trail. After about 5 minutes of fruitless searching and growing angst, Titty Smoker recalled Sloppy emphasizing the fact that a circle has 360 degrees and decided ,correctly, to follow the route we had taken into the forest from the A bucket. I don’t know if this kind of circle – where you back track along on the trail you approached the circle – has a name. If not, I would like to take this opportunity to name it a Switch Back Circle. Maybe it will take off.

We all made our way back to the A bucket and found our way on to the correct trail, but not without many expletives and oaths being uttered in regards to this act of utter skullduggery on behalf of the hares. Titty Smoker – with his astute, out of the box, thinking – led the pack once again into the forest, but obviously from a different angle. It was at this point I left Square Rooter for dust We initially had to negotiate an area of shaggy, but soon found our way onto a decent trail. We carried on for about 500 meters and were confronted by a dam wall that needed to be crossed which in itself wasn’t too difficult. But the steep slope that had to be descended to reach the dam wall was another kettle of fish. Everyone made their way down the slope with the utmost diligence and care as the consequences of a miss footing could have been calamitous

The trail took us through the green lush forest, down a slope and onto a paved road, past a few yappy dogs and another lake or two. Again we entered the forest encountering many circle checks as there were so many trails crisscrossing the whole  area. We continued through the forest for about 2 km ,or so, which led us to another paved road where I met Superman and his entourage doing the trail in reverse. This totally confused and disorientated me  for a while, but a bit of logical thinking, I soon realized what was going on. We then came to another one of those switch back circles and then kept on a paved road for about 1.5 km taking us up the side of the dam at the A bucket.

I clocked up about 5.5 km for the whole run. I personally thought it was a great trail with lots of beautiful scenery to enjoy along the way. We could enjoy the majesty of the mountains without having to endure their precipitous properties as Sloppy had managed to keep the run more or less flat. Another important fact was that everyone finished the run in daylight with the darkness setting in very early these days. I think plenty of mushrooms were collected although I didn’t get the official count A very good run guys and an excellent debut run from Kevin.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke….

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1537                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Hot Nipples

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1538

Having been the hare for today’s outing, I can’t really report much about the actual run itself other than how amazing it must have been and it marked Snail Trail’s 400^th run. Anyway today, I thought I would go off piste, as it were, and take a  a trip down memory lane  recounting my memories of those great establishments of Chiang mai’s  past, those institutions being the Hash pubs and various other enterprises  run by active Chiang mai hashers.

Back in 1995, on my first ever visit to Chiang mai and one of my very earliest memories of this city , we all adore, was walking down from McDonald’s in the Night Bazaar towards the metal bridge and noticing a pub with a dart board. At that time, I was at my peak dart fitness – if even such a category exists. So I decided to go in and pitch a few arrows – technical darts jargon. Little did I know at the time how much of an impact this decision was going to have on my life. I was entering the Hash Pub and subsequently the whole of the hashing world. Akin to stepping into a parallel universe, I suppose.

It was a pretty regular looking kind of a place with about 8 or 9 customers all  minding their own business. I ordered a beer and proceeded to randomly throw a few darts at the board. It wasn’t long before I was approached by the girl running the bar, Misfortune, challenging me to a game, she suggested, to make it interesting, the loser buy the winner a beer. Who was I to refuse? It seemed like a pleasurable activity to engage in for a while on a balmy Chiangmai evening. Anyway, I won about 3 games, so that meant I was three beers to the good. Happy just to sit down and enjoy my free beer, I was then challenged by Superbitch who fancied her chances. Again, I won all the games and ended up with about 8 free beers. Suffice it to say I got pretty drunk. I’m sure you would all agree, a totally succinct and apt introduction to the hashing world. It was on this occasion, I first met Superman and Just Cumming. Also in the pub at the time was the infamous Smelly Box who went on to great notoriety  and  bringing worldwide attention to the Chiang mai Hash, back in May 2000, but that’s another story altogether.

On my next visit to Chiang mai, which must have been about 18 months later, I wanted to return to the Hash Pub, but when I tried to find it. It had gone and I naturally assumed it had gone out of business. You have to remember that the internet at this time was very much in its rudimentary phase and the concept of smart phones would have been very much in the realms of science fiction. So information in those days had to be gleaned from word of mouth or the local press.

A while later, I met someone who suggested we go for a drink in the Hash pub which was now located on Moonmuang Road adjacent to Soi 2. When I arrived there, I was pleased to see a lot of those people I had met on my previous visit to the old pup.  This Place had an excellent location which attracted many random people who just walked in off the street to revel in the local charm of the establishment. One person, I met in this way, who was to become a very committed hasher for many years, was Red Carpet. I remember her telling me that joining the hashing community totally changed her life and that was all due to her one day spontaneously going into the Hash pub for something to eat and chatting to one of the hashers who was there at the time.

Another memory I have of this place was that I was very much an active member of the darts team. There were actually 2 teams The Hash Pub Team and The Hash Fliers. I was in the latter; I can’t remember much about our performance, but I do remember getting very drunk. I recall one time playing in an extreme state of inebriation, but playing the game of my life. As a result of this performance, every other game I played members of the team would encourage me to imbibe the alcoholic beverage to up my game. I have so many memories of this Hash Pub, far too many to recount in this short article.

The final incarnation of the Hash Pub was on Kamphaeng Din Road near the Gecko Garden. This must have opened in about 2010. I wasn’t in Chiangmai at the time, so I can’t give you an accurate date. Anyway this was a convivial establishment where you could sit and pontificate and disscuss all the problems of the world well into the night. There was a dart board in this pub, but the dart league had been disbanded a couple of years before which led to its demise in popularity. These days its difficult to find any bar with a dart board,which is such a shame. This Hash pub was a victim of the drink driving crackdown in Chiang mai. With so many hashers living out of town it made it more or less impossible to drive to the pub for  a beer or two, so it sadly closed a few years ago.

There were also many establishments opened and run by active Chiangmai hashers that were also considered to be de facto hash pubs. The first one I remember was the Engineer’s bar. This was a pub opened by Major Bumsore in Chiang mai Land. The theme of this bar, as the name suggests, was engineering with all the furniture being made from recycled car parts, so you could enjoy a nice cold beer while sitting on the gear box of a mk 2 Cortina. Then there was the Fish & Chip Shop located where Sheryle’s is now, this was first opened by Burrito Butt and Superbitch .  Another one I remember was the Apocalypse Cantina a Mexican restaurant on Loi Kroi Road established by Suckit. There was also, Next Place at Thapai Gate again run by Suckit along with Mr Poo and Knockout. And of course we have the Bamboo Bar and Euro Diner which was opened by Always on Top and her late husband Does Nothing which is still open in these uncertain and difficult times. The new kid on the block, as it were, is Micky’s Restaurant on the Super Highway next to Ubana run by Bushy Tail.

I miss the Hash pubs very much and hope we can establish another bar dedicated to hash  minded people.

OnOn Stumbling  Dyke…

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1536                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Hot Nipples

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1537

It all started with a bit of a cock up on the GPS front, with the wrong coordinates being posted  on the website, but most of those assembled had got the message, through the jungle telegraph, beforehand and made their way to the correct location. That is with the exception of Mary Poppins and his entourage, but anyway, it wasn’t that far away. These things happen from time to time and no damage done. The only problem was that the amended location  was the same A bucket that Deep Throat and myself were going to use for following Saturday’s run, so a quick bit of rethinking will have to be done on my part.

Anyway, Just Cumming was the hare for today’s adventure in paradise, with the location being the temple 14 km down canal road – I can never remember the names of temples besides the famous ones. Lung La arrived with only Square Rooter aboard and the back of his truck devoid of hashers. I hope no one had fallen out along the way. About 30 of us gathered round, with ominous black clouds looming overhead, to listen to Just Cumming’s hare brief. At this point it started to rain quite heavily. Chuck Wao wasn’t in attendance – could this be the end of his 100% record in keeping us all dry throughout his tenure? Oh I of little faith, as we started the run the precipitation abated and within 5 minutes the running conditions were  perfect, so absolutely no blot on The RA’s copy book.  In point of fact, it was actually very refreshing.

We  set off down the leafy trails which abound in the area, with the pack generally sticking together. The area we were in was generally pretty flat and therefore the trails are good for running. I must have taken the correct trail – more by luck than judgment- as I found myself being passed by many of the FRBs namely Sloppy Rod , Titty Smoker and  Deep Throat , The latter taking time to show me a picture he had taken of Titty Smoker resembling a drowned rat at the start of the run. When I got to the Rambo – Wimp split I was in the company of Turkish with Square Rooter someway behind hurling insults at me, but I was so far ahead of him to hear what he actually said.

Turkish and I went down the Rambo route and after a while we lost the paper, but continued aimlessly for about 20 minutes, or so, until we once again located the trail. We found out in retrospect, that we had inadvertently made a huge shortcut missing a very grueling and precipitous section of the run. We continued, oblivious of our folly, through the forest having to cross streams with actual water in them – We haven’t seen many of those in recent years, but nice to see all the same. By this time we had been out over an hour and it was beginning to get dark and  starting  to hear the twilight sounds of the forest cranking up . We were very relieved to see the edge of the woodland where a few of the Harriette s, disappointingly in possession of no mushrooms,  were waiting for a bit of guidance as we were once again off paper. We carried on down the track to find Just Cumming coming out to look for us informing us that we had missed the beer stop first time round, but lung La was following behind for a second bite of the cherry.

Superbitch, Boiled Egg and Hot Nipples took the easy option and got into the songteaw and immediately cracking open a few cans. While myself and Turkish decided to walk the last km . Arriving  back at the A bucket none of the FRBs had returned, so I think we must have made a considerable shortcut. Just when the  darkness had about set in Just Kevin arrived back first looking very pleased with himself having  finished in front of his dad.

I think, I managed about just over 5 km on the run with those doing the whole thing clocking up between 7 – 8 km. I’m glad I short cutted, albeit unknowingly. Great run, nice trails and a big thank you to Just Cumming.

OnOn  Stumbling Dyke …

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1535                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Hot Nipples

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1536

This year due to a unique alignment of the celestial bodies both Halloween and Loy Kratong coincided. Consequently an absolute hash fest descended on Chiangmai, with the Thursday run, the Cherry Breaker, the Saturday run, then Monday run and if it hadn’t been for  Covid there would, of course, have been the infamous Loy Kaetoey run too. The latter run being abandoned due to the low keyness of the Loy Kratong this year. So well done to all those who took part in all the runs and managed to complete this hashing marathon.

Today’s run was brought to us courtesy of Sheep Shagger and Happy Ending although I suspect Happy Ending didn’t have much to do with it as she is still hobbling around on crutches.  This was probably caused by having to carry all the large heavy stones, for an ornamental feature in Sheep Shagger’s garden. When hashing, Sheep Shagger likes to collect rocks. But he gets Happy Ending to carry them in her backpack, the heavy ones at least. Anyway, the location was behind Doi Khum. At a frequently used A bucket – and I think therefore deserving its own title of honor, eponymous or otherwise. Any Ideas?

This is an A bucket that always elicits a certain degree of PTHD – Post Traumatic Hashing Disorder- in me. As it was this location, a few years ago, that Angry Inch set one of the most horrendous and purely terrifying runs I can remember in all my years of hashing. This run was basically a trail that went right to the top of a mountain in, more or less, a straight line and as I remember taking about an hour just to reach the top. It was set at about the same time of year as today’s run meaning it got dark very quickly. As I started my descent, I was losing light rapidly and soon finding myself in the pitch black forest which is a totally different environment from that of the day time. Not an ideal scenario, I’m sure you would agree. In those days Chuck Wao wasn’t RA with no remit in regards to climactic conditions-come to think of it, he may have actually been GM at the time. Suffice it to say, the heavens opened resulting in one of the worst deluges of that year. I soon found myself halfway down the mountain in absolute darkness, soaking wet, off trail and subsequently totally disorientated. Not knowing where I was, not knowing whether I was on the precipice of a 20 meter ravine and not knowing what other hazards of the forest were lurking close by. Adding insult to injury the rain had got into my phone rendering it absolutely useless as I wasn’t able to make or receive calls or even use the GPS. If you want a musical depiction of how I felt. Listen to Mussorgsky’s Night on Bald Mountain: It really sums up my feeling at the time. I genuinely thought that I’d have to spend the whole night on the mountain. I fumbled around for a while getting nowhere and getting increasingly anxious. After what seemed an age, but it was probably only 15 minutes, or so, I heard the sound of a cascading waterfall which evoked the memory of a run from many years ago, so I made my way to the waterfall where I was able to locate a track that would lead me safely to the bottom of the mountain. I eventually got back to the A bucket resembling a drowned cat. I later found out that Tip Toe had experienced the same trauma as me. Before today’s run, Tip Toe and myself reminisced about our experiences on that fateful day and come to think about I’ve hardly seen Angry Inch since.

Back to today’s run, there was absolutely no chance of us experiencing weather resembling that of the run a few years ago as we have Chuck Wao in charge of rain suppression. He has more or less a 100% record in his time of office. He informed me he had made the relevant incantations to keep the rain away and I for one have every faith in him. Hashers from all parts of Thailand converged on Chiangmai for the weekend. I counted about 75 in all, So Titty Smoker, Hash Cash, with this injection of cash into the coffers of the hash may at last be able to put the down payment on a new truck as there has been a dearth of visitors for quite some time.

Sheep Shagger gave the usual hare brief. He confided in me that there were going to be no strenuous hills to negotiate. Hopefully he could be believed. We all set off away from the mountains and first of all went through a banana plantation where I bumped into Redundant Semen ,a frequent visitor over many years. We exchanged pleasantries and recounted a few memories of the olden days in Chiang mai. With such a big pack and so many visitors there was sometimes a bit of confusion when it came to checks and false trails. The pack generally stuck together running along the ubiquitous leafy trails of the area. We came to the Rambo – Wimp split where I came across Purple Fart who opted for the easier option. I personally took the Rambo trail along with a few of the visitors who were chugging along at my pace, but I must have missed the trail because I was making my way along the road although I was on paper; I could hear the pack in the forest adjacent to the road. Eventually I met up with the runners. We proceeded to carry on the road for at least 1 km and back to the A bucket.

I clocked up about 3.5 km, but a lot of the runners would have done the Cherry Breaker on the previous day, so it would have been treated more as a recovery run. I wasn’t aware of any mushrooms being captured on this run and I hope none of the visitors purloined any of our fungi. This run was the total  antithesis of that Angry Inch run all those years ago.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke…

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1534                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Hot Nipples

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1535

Today’s run was set by two of the Pussy lineage, those being Whisperer and Galore and the location was at the back of Mae Jo University. When I arrived at the A bucket the scene resembled something from Breaking Bad with four or five oil drums all with smoke emanating from them. It looked quite surreal with a few locals sitting around watching the fore mentioned oil drums as if they were waiting for something big to happen.  But on closer inspection and enquiry it was nothing more spurious than woodsmen carrying out the ancient woodland craft of charcoal burning.

About 30 of the usual hashers turned out for today’s escaped With Pizza Shit and In Denial, a couple of long time returnees joining us. They  had just spent the last couple of weeks in state quarantine as having entered the country from the US – It seems such a long time ago when all you needed to visit Thailand was an air ticket; will those days ever return?. Pizza Shit is a guy who has been coming and going on Chiang mai hashes for at least the past 20 years, but I think he said they had now settled in Mae Rim, So we should be seeing a lot more of them, welcome back guys.

Pussy Galore gave the hare brief and proceeded to blame Pussy Whisperer for anything that might go wrong or any anomalies that may be encountered on the run as he wasn’t in attendance and therefore unable to defend himself – excellent hash behavior. She made particular reference to the excessive distance paper may be found from circle checks, blaming Pussy Whisperer’s long stride .   We all set off passed a lake and into the woodland and the first circle check. Everyone spread out in quest of the trail with the usual circle guardians diligently occupying the circle area waiting for further instructions. On On was heard and I, as luck would have it, was on the correct trail. I was, at this stage, in FRB territory also in the company of Superman who is generally not found up the front of the pack these days. But it’s good for the ego to relive former glory now and then. We carried on along the leafy trails for about 1 km, or so, and to the Rambo Wimp split where I came across SinBin who seemed to be waiting for someone. I took the a right turn following the Rambo trail and started to go up an incline . I stopped to give way to Just Cumming as he seemed to be very much in FRB mode. I carried on along the leafy trails through a few circle checks. I continued at a sedate pace enjoying the green lush beauty of the forest at this time of year when I heard someone behind me running at what I can only describe as a rapid rate of knots. I jumped into the undergrowth to let them pass. It was Cums Any Time and she passed me like the 7:44 express from Chipping Sodbury to London Paddington – that’s a UK railway metaphor. My initial thought was she was letting the harrietts down as she wasn’t going to capture many mushrooms going at that speed.

I carried on another few hundred meters coming to an intersection on the trail. I looked to the left to see someone returning from a false trail. It was CAT again – I don’t know about Cums Any Time; she seemed to be coming all the time. Anyway the trail started to take us on an upward trajectory. Not a particularly steep slope,  but a gradual, energy sapping, incline. As I was making my way up the hill, I was passed by Mary Poppins and his kids who a little further along got caught out by a false trail. We located the new trail and it was goodbye to the flat even paths and onto a pretty steep decline along a dried up stream. We now had to negotiate some extremely uneven terrain with some pretty jagged rocks to cope with and without extreme caution it could have proved to have been treacherous . After 2 or 3 hundred meters of this we got back on to the sensible trails again . It was now starting  to get dark which was intensified by the light blocking effect of the foliage of the forest,  it was with a certain degree of relief we found  the OnIn and back onto a dirt road which led us back to the A bucket.

The run was about 6 km taking me about an hour and 20 minutes. Tip Toe and Square Rooter were late getting back and returning in darkness. I wasn’t aware of today’s mushroom count. CAT certainly didn’t collect any. I thoroughly enjoyed the run with not to many steep hills and varied terrain. Great run guys.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke ….

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1532                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1533

Some came by car, some by truck, some even paid  the princely sum of 23 Baht and came by train, but I unfortunately chose  motorcycle  as my mode of transportation and subsequently got  absolutely drenched  thanks to a thunderstorm that persisted for about 90 % of the journey. This was the first outstation under Skid Mark’s GMship and the location was Lampang. My route took me  passed  the Elephant  Conservation Center on the approach to Lampang, Whenever I pass this place I am always reminded of a Male Hash Outstation, some 20 years ago, and a hash circle we had nearby which turned  out to be one of the most drunken circles I can ever remember. As I passed, I gave a short toot of the horn in deference to the historical significance of the site. I was one of the last to arrive at the resort as many of the usual suspects were already tucking into their cheese and wine.

The hares for the weekend were Frozen Dick and Chuck Wao who over the past week had been busily scouting and organizing the proceedings  The A bucket for the Saturday run was about 6 km away from the resort, so we all got into the nearest available  vehicle and  drove to the A site. The first thing that became immediately apparent was that there were many stray dogs all along the road. It was if there had been a mass breakout from the local dog’s home because these dogs looked healthy specimens of the canine variety and not the usual skanky. mangy, forsaken creatures that are so abound in Thailand.

We arrived at the A site inside a wooded area beside a lake. Apparently the run was going to be similar to one set by them 5 years ago. I was at that outstation, but I can remember very little about the run. It all seemed like virgin territory to me. Frozen gave the hare brief, nothing of great note to be reported here.

During every run each of the participants has their own particular priority. There are, of course, the FRBs with their competitive racing. There are those concentrating on the collection of mushrooms and other edible flora. Then I was made aware of another, little known, sub-genre present in the pack; that of the RRBs – Rear Racing B@#$%!rds .Prior to today’s run I was approached by Square Rooter – normally a very mild mannered, affable, uncontroversial type of hasher who has been here for as long as I can remember and has often played the role of mediator and bridge builder. But today, he, in no uncertain terms, laid down the gauntlet to me : saying, in a menacing fashion,  that he would finish before me and that I would be toast. I couldn’t believe my ears. The pressure was on me to perform. This goes to prove that there are so many different facets to hashing. Whatever happened, I was determined to finish in front of Square Rooter. This has now been made personal.

We set off into the forest along green and luscious trails  after a couple of kms we started a gentle incline – it may have been gentle, but it went on and on proving to be a very energy sapping  trudge. From time to time I seemed to hear the sound of cow bells. At the time I didn’t give this much thought, until I got to near the top to be confronted by a herd of startled cattle – that can only be described as – stampeding towards me. The safest place I could see in this situation was to dive behind a tree. This action proved to be a source of great entertainment to Snail Trail as later she would recount the incident; with me resorting to hugging a tree and found the whole affair hilarious. The cattle finally calmed down and I was able once more to carry on. I passed the herdsman who was quite happily getting on with his business smiling and oblivious to my near death experience.

We started to descend through the forest and came to a flight of very well constructed concrete steps that seemed to lead to nowhere in particular, but they were valuable aid to us descending through this jungle like  terrain. At the bottom of the steps we got onto an equally well constructed concrete path. We carried on this for about 1 km  leading us to a temple with a few of those previously mentioned dogs waiting for us. Once again we ventured forth and back into the forest and a change of paper color to bright orange which was much easier to see. At this time I was following silly Cow and had to protect her from some of the stray dogs. We carried on through ravines, up and down passing the odd beautiful lake – once again exemplifying the sheer beauty of hashing in Thailand. We eventually arrived back at the A bucket. The run was about 6 km and took me the best part of an hour and a half

The only point of concern was that Liberace had got stuck in a ravine or something, but a rescue party was dispatched and brought him back. Although, quite obviously, shaken by the experience he was uninjured and after a while he was soon back to his normal self. On a personal note I finished ahead of Square Rooter; not that it is a race.

Run #1534

The Sunday Hangover run started with a mad dash around Lampang looking for a place to buy beer as we had completely depleted our stock on the previous day. But where there is a wiil there’s a way, and I soon found a repository willing to sell us the amber hashing nectar. Chuk Wao gave the hare brief- the only thing I remember from that : was that we were to encounter  an ob-star- cal        ( obstacle ). Everyone set off with what can only be described as apathetic disinterest with no one even breaking into a trot. The run basically took us around the resort and through a moo ban where we came across the obstacle which was an eight foot concrete wall. Some people turned back but most surmounted the hindrance and back to the resort. THe run was about 1.75 kmand taking about 20 minutes.

The RA came up trumps with the weather which was perfect for all the time we were at the resort. A big thank you to both the hares for the time and effort they put into organizing this outstation as these events don’t happen without a lot of work and preparation. A  very successful and  enjoyable outstation. Thanks guys.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke …

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1531                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1532

Today’s run was set on top of a small hillock about 14 km South of the Samoeng junction on the Canal Road and Turkish Delight was the orchestrator of proceedings for today. He had sought permission to have the A bucket at a property owned by Mr Art. Mr Art kindly agreed and welcomed us – with open arms- onto his land, but this didn’t stop Titty Smoker, Hash Cash, charging him and his entire family run fees for the privilege of having a load of drunken hashers invade his beautiful home. The last time, I remember running from this point was in the middle of the smoky season which must have been about 18 months ago. Then the whole area resembled some kind of post-apocalyptic, dystopic hell hole. But it goes to show what a difference the rainy season makes as today it was like something  more akin to paradise regained with the clear unpolluted skies, green luscious vegetation  and the elevation giving us  a beautiful panoramic view of the surrounding countryside.

About 40 of the usual suspects turned up for today’s event with one or two long time returnees making an appearance after long absences; these were Liberace, Pig Shit, Emmaroyd and Silly Cow. Turkish gave the hare brief; I don’t think there was anything of great note to report here. We all set off down the hill which immediately brought us to the Rambo Wimp split. I, feeling somewhat energetic, decided to take the Rambo option. We ran down a dirt track for a few minutes and came to the first circle check which confused everyone as there were strips of paper leading directly off the circle. We were led into a wooded area down a leafy trail, a recurring theme on today’s run At this point I was following Rat’s Arse who wasn’t paying any attention to the paper and led me off trail on more than one occasion.

We ventured onwards  and  upwards, up a small hill and came to a circle check where I encountered Shagless  who was awaiting orders on which direction to take. I along with Rat’s Arse decided to keep him company for a while.  With hashers dispersed in all directions. The trail was proving difficult to locate. I noticed Obscene returning from a fruitless trail although he was in possession of a few mushrooms, his mum is training him well. Eventually the trail was  found taking us down a big slope along a few dried up stream beds. As we descended, I was following  HRA and Titty Smoker . Titty Smoker was tentatively and carefully picking his way down the hill , befitting someone of his years, where as HRA  was traversing the terrain  with the exuberance and flippant disregard of a  teenager.

Every now and then two kids – aged about 8 or 9, I hadn’t seen before – would pop up out of nowhere. They turned out to be  Mr Art’s kids. They were like a couple of woodland sprites and seemed to know their way around the area, and well attuned to the ways of the forest.  One of them had to guide Deep Throat on to the correct path as he had got disoriented at one of the circle checks subsequently putting him at the back of the pack.

We carried on along the green and leafy trails through dried up streams for 1 or 2 kms then we totally lost paper. I was in the company of Rat’s Arse, so not an unexpected occurrence. I was about to resort to my GPS when I we heard OnOn being called in the distance. We made our way to where the calls were emanating and found Square Rooter  being escorted on to the trail by Mr Art and his  couple of woodland sprites. They then proceeded to guide us all back to the A bucket.

The Weather conditions were once again excellent. We can now expect nothing less from our RA, Mr Wao, who week after week is coming up with the goods. The run was just over 5km and took me just over an hour. I didn’t get a mushroom report other than those collected by Obscene.

A nice run, great location, lovely trails, thank you Turkish.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash 1530

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1531

Cartoon was the hare for today’s escapade and the location was out in Sankampeng at a frequently hashed from A bucket which I think is now eligible for ELS – Eponymous Location Status. To join such illustrious venues as Turkey’s Triangle and Superman’s Dog Leg. Maybe, something like Cartoon’s Lay By. I’m sure there’s a better name than that, anyway just a thought.

Cartoon gave the hare brief with about 30 of the usual suspects in attendance. There was nothing of particular note. Running through rice fields, shredded paper, the usual stuff. We set off out of the A bucket turned right and we were immediately sent on an upward trajectory  soon finding ourselves in an environment where a mountain goat would have felt quite at home. We tentatively negotiated the precipitous terrain, slipping and sliding, for about 10 minutes, or so, only to realize that we all had been victims of a cunning and fiendish plan as this had been a loop. We now found ourselves, more or less, back at the A bucket with a very self-satisfied and smug looking Cartoon awaiting us. But he did assure us that the run was going to be flat from now on.

We all set off again down a gravel track for a couple of hundred meters, or so, and into the first of many rice fields on today’s foray. It wasn’t long before I bumped into Snail Trail and Cummalot where we exchanged pleasantries and I inquired on the mushroom status. They informed me that they were in quest of bamboo shoots and that the fungologists Were elsewhere deployed, namely Doesn’t Get it, Hot Nipples and Wooly Jumper.

The trail continued and took us across a couple of ditches, around the perimeter of the field and onto a road which we ran along for a few hundred meters. Then we once again turned right and once more found ourselves amidst another green and luscious plantation of Thailand’s largest cash crop. Here I met the fungologists seeming very pleased with themselves; showing me a big bag of their foraged bounty.

We skirted the field, into a wooded area and up a small hill. On getting to the top, I could see Tip Toe, Square Rooter and Deep Throat in discussion. I joined them and saw their dilemma. We were once more confronted by a huge rice plantation which by the vastness of its expanse was a veritable sea of green and with the sky of blue; I half expected to see a yellow submarine. For those of you under the age of 30, who might happen to read this, that’s a reference from the lyrics of a Beatles’ song – The Beatles being a popular and rather successful boy band of the 1960’s. I digress; our dilemma being, there was an obvious short cut through the rice crop which I could see had been taken by some of the harriettes, but Tip Toe took the executive decision that we should not in any way damage the rice plants; we all duly agreed and embarked on the long way round. This was not without reward as the views across the vibrant rice crop were spectacular with Square Rooter stopping to take many photos along the way.

We eventually got to the opposite side of the field; crossed one of those ubiquitous mosquito ridden ditches of stagnant water by means of a narrow concrete post which had been layed across the expanse. Then up a slight incline; through a wooded area; past a very holy looking Buddhist shrine and onto a gravel track and back to the A bucket.

It goes without saying. the weather conditions for today’s outing were once again perfect, so ‘All Hail’ once more to the RA, Chuck Wao, For his climactic wizardry. I clocked up just over 5 km and it took me about an hour. A great run with spectacular views, well done Cartoon.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke….

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash 1529

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1530

Today’s run was in celebration of Chatterbox’s 15^th birthday- another year closer to becoming a true hasher; a drinker with a running problem, that is. The location for today’s event was at  G & M’s sausage factory out in Sankampeng, and Chatterbox along with Skid Mark were the hares.

Skid Mark gave the hare brief, the usual sort of stuff , the only point of interest  being it was going to be a B to A affair. Meaning, we would have to be taken to the B bucket by some means or other. This shouldn’t have been a particularly notable event with a lot of the hashers going in the songteaw, so many in fact, that it looked as if the front wheels of the truck  were going to leave the ground. The rest of us, about eight in all, were destined to travel in Titty Smoker’s truck. The only problem with this arrangement was that Titty Smoker was going to run too. Consequently, Skid Mark ended up driving. It didn’t start at all well, literally, with Skid Mark being unable to turn the key in the ignition also another point of contention was that Titty Smoker’s truck has a manual transmission and it became immediately evident that Skid Mark hadn’t driven a manual car for quite some time. This became particularly obvious as we arrived at the B bucket where I think he must have stopped the car without depressing the clutch giving all of us, traveling in the back, a practical demonstration of Newton’s First Law of Motion as we were all sent flying forward by the abruptness of the stop. We, thankfully, all alighted the truck in one piece albeit a little shaken.

A hallmark of runs set by Skid Mark is that they are generally pretty flat. Today’s run was no exception. This area of Sangampeng is about 90% rice fields and at the hare brief we had been informed that we would be running on the perimeter of these fields, but at no point would the trail take us directly through any of the lush green cereal crop. About twenty of us in all set off and it wasn’t long before we came to the first circle check. When the correct trail had been located  I found myself towards the rear of the pack accompanied by Turkish who had decided  to take a leisurely stroll and give the FRBing a miss for the day. We passed a beautiful example of an authentic Lanna style house with Turkish and myself taking a little time to appreciate the aesthetic charm of the traditional architecture. We carried on a little further passed a few cattle.They all looked pretty sedate, so I don’t think anyone had startled them that much. We then came across the Frbs who were just returning from a false trail excursion. So there we were again in the thick of the action.

We went through a wooded area and came to a steep ditch which we needed to cross and the only means of getting over it was a semi submerged, dodgy, wobbly plank. As I crossed the ditch I slipped slightly and my one foot sank deep in the abyss of the shitty, murky, horrible, water. I didn’t think anyone saw my stumble only to clamber up the other side of the ditch to find Snowballs videoing the whole event.

At this time of year the rice fields are an amazing spectacle in their own right with that almost florescent hue of green radiating across the countryside that seems unique to the rice crop. But for the rice to grow an awful amount of water is needed and that is exactly what we have been having for the past few weeks making the ground treacherously slippery, so great caution had to be observed at all times as we made our way around the field. Again I found myself at the back of the pack when I happened to look behind me to see HRA. He is not usually someone you find among the  rear runners. He informed me, as he passed, that he had had to answer a call of nature, so adding a little more fertilizer to the fertile countryside.

We carried on passing many rice fields squelching our way through a constant quagmire of mud. Also we seemed to be passing many cattle along the way, but there didn’t seem to be very much cow shit to be avoided on the trail which was very good. We finally got back onto  a firm asphalt road which took us back to the A bucket.

In this rainiest time of the rainy season the weather conditions for the run could only be described as perfect. Even in absentia our illustrious RA, Mr. Wao, once again came up with the goods. I wasn’t aware of any mushrooms collected which I find quite surprising given the fertile nature of the area we had been running in. In all I clocked up just over 5 km and it took me just over an hour. A very pleasurable run through a nice area, thanks guys.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke…