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It has been suggested that Belly Dancer hares runs with the sole intention of causing serious damage to the hashers. Today he organised the weather to make a tough run impossible! We set up off the steps to Doi Kham with some ambiguous instructions to look for paper on the right – we saw paper on the right and went straight past it all the way up the stairs to the temple.  Remembering that hasher’s aren’t the cleverest bunch of people, we climbed off paper just discussing that the hare had been ‘kee nieow’ with the paper.

Dick the Boy Wonder was determined that the trail would begin when we got to the top and for some daft reason we believed him and followed Chuck Wao to a padlocked gate at the top. Finally we stopped listening to Dick the Boy, and headed back down to where we’d seen the paper – which happened to lead off into absolutely nowhere – no trail, just paper (occasionally) hanging off on the edge of a mountain. With the added rain the mountainside became treacherous and there was no shortage of candidates for the crash – I was covered in mud when I finally made it back.

We eventually got to a circle check – there were no trails leading off it, just a pile of paper in the middle of a jungle. Given that HRA couldn’t hear Chuck Wao over the rain when he was stood next to him, we decided to stick together choosing the route that headed towards a road we could see through the trees. That was a wrong call as we plummeted off the mountain and didn’t find paper. HRA, Little Wet One and I clambered back up the hill and found paper again that lead straight back down the hill (parallel to where we’d just descended) and to where Chuck Wao was stood waiting for us.

Another circle check and a dilemma – we gave it a bit of a look around, and gave up as the roads had already turned into rivers. The field was decimated down to 4 of us, and the rain was relentless – and as fortunately we knew where we were, we headed back – I’ve faced near death experiences enough on BD’s runs before. Fortunately everyone survived and also fortunately the circle was a good one. Hollow Legs had more phone calls during the circle than I’ve had in the past month and was justifiably punished for each of them.  Truth be told I enjoyed scrambling around, risking my life on the edge of the hill, so good job Belly Dancer – the rain just thwarted your evil plans. The circle made up for it, and you have a run in the bag for next time – although not sure I want to endure it again!

(Courtesy of Belly Dancer)

Considering we are in the depths of wet season – BMY had found a location with not one but 3 potential shelters (none were needed as it stayed dry) – and while Doi Saket my feel like an outstation – it only took 30 mins from Hang Dong on the Middle Ring Road. I am beginning to fear my ‘Birthday Ball Busta’ has left lasting scars on those fearless enough to survive it – Skiddy with his already insane passion for wobbly bridges and water – just look at the CH4 300 (later adjusted to 360) – evil tunnels of slime, and now today the apprentice Marquis de Sade decided that he too would make the run ‘special’!

Sadly – considering the obvious amount of effort scouting and laying a run of this ‘quality’ a small band turned up and if it wasnt for some of the guys having athletic girlfriends – it would have been a sorrowful turn out. So to the run – BMY gave us the briefest of hare briefs, completely ommiting key information which would cost the FRB’s dearly! On out we set off – perhaps some 500m we came to a X-check – trails left and right were good but knowing the cunning nature of BMY I took the straight on trail. Less than 60m in the trail literally fell off a 70m cliff into a creek, so with my vertigo I encouraged HRA to press on further – and so did BMY who by now was manavolently hovering by the check. The check had been designed to dunk Chuck Wao [next time hide the other paper as CW runs on any obvious trail] – but CW had headed right and was content with stealth running while HRA was praying not to get that wet – alas for BMY – CW finally called On – or it may have been Get’s Wet and off we headed off in earnest while BMY sulked back to finish laying the run.

Behind me came a great crashing noise – breaking of branches and I turned to see Humperdick surging towards me – having got lost en route to the run he had done a steller job in catching us up.

BMY clearly must have spent many hours searching for trails with stickers, pot holes and shiggy for us to appreciate and through this we headed – as CW had got such a head start he was trapped by BMY’s next CW trap – the Skiddy stix! [-not mentioned in the hare breif] – it must have been a good 300m and the look of utter confusion and disgust on his face as the pack caught me would have made our sadistic hare grin with glee. I found the true trail which led us through more shiggy, steep embankments and onto a very cunning check accross a small stream. The FRB’s of course raced over the water but gut feel suggested BMY had no intention of heading that way. Get’s Wet and Hollow Legs found the paper 46.5m from the circle and the FRB’s had the fun of trying to cross the chasm to catch us. On up we headed to an even trickier check – BMY had hidden the paper behind some water tanks a mere 30m from the circle and the check had the pack searching everywhere until Get’s Wet found the paper. Some good runable trails before BMY had us climbing. I’m sure he knew I’d enjoy it – and I did – the view at the crag on top was stunning – even more so after Knockout helped remove the insect from my eye!

Muk was trailing, so Knockout, Sleep  On It and me stuck together and we only again saw the FRB’s on the summit circle check which brought us nicely back together. The down hill horror loomed and the it was a quest for survival as with FRB’s long gone, Kwazi deciding that he saw the laager so was off to trim a tad off the run and Hollow Legs wanted to tumble down the hill, leaving me with the ladies. I wasnt complaining – hashing is about enjoying the scenary – and I did!

BYM voice came from no-where near the base of the mountian and he was having a Schadenfreude moment watching us descend- at 90 mins he was telling me it was 1/2 way but no water or beer – I for a moment was cursing him. Then he offered the girls a short cut and while I needed the longer run practice for next weeks eXtreme Monkey in Pattaya, I decided that staying with the girls made better sense.

The circle started with an account of how stupid HRA had been (again) – knocking out the last circle and laying paper in the wrong direction. Somehow he still managed to come in first – to Chucky’s disgust no doubt and Get’s Wet excelled for the ladies.

The circle was intimate and fun – with BMY continuing his sadistic pleasure of icing everybody but we were too tired to deprive him of his moment of glory. Muk was awarded the female wings by HRA (nepotism or was it insurance to get his leg over?) and Chucky got the male wings. On into town a few of us headed and for a moment I thought I was having fun on a male hash!

Good effort BMY – thanks for a enjoyable training run and I hope more will return to enjoy ‘Happy Hashing’!