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The 9/10/11 run… An auspicious date, and Belly Dancer had been preparing for this for months… This in itself should be enough to scare hashers away afterall BD has tried to kill us enough times already! However, hashers are a masochistic type and a larger than usual group showed up for this Happy Hash. How did Belly attract the runners? Bribes (where’s mine?)? Lies? Bribery? or just luck? Who knows. We set off with instructions that we may go round in circles if we didn’t follow the instructions – my plan was to go around in a circle anyway, so I hoped following the instructions would work out as well…

We set off down the road, and then diverted for a quick, random sortie into the sois on the right – cunningly suggesting we might be arcing to the right – we weren’t, and before long we were back on the road. Too much road, but we finally hit a circle check that deceived everyone as surely we couldn’t be going down the obvious trail to the left? Would a simple little gate thwart a hash run? We were back together as a team, cursing the hares and heading to our first little water crossing. Chuck Wao bailed out and detoured south to build a bridge.

Shortly after I clued in on what Belly Dancer had in store – the same paddle that Alice used a couple of months back – genius! I nailed a couple of checks and was back with Nam Rawn at the front and plunged straight into the lake. Naam Rawn and I got across the ‘paddle’ and hid just over the rise. You should have seen their faces when we went back to call “Check Back” with a crowd of hashers waist deep in the water! Great practical joke!

The next circle check got its own back on us – a great check and pretty much everyone who wasn’t short cutting (or Frozen Dick) was back together. Who found it? I don’t know, I was out of it – knackered and screwed, I lost the heart knowing how much further we had to go. Fortunately I jogged along with Bruce and then another couple of virgins. Taking it a bit slower, I enjoyed the great terrain and views. As hash runs go, it was probably one of the best runs I’ve ever been part of. I am still trying to find out who Belly Dancer and Anything paid to set if for them!!!

The circle started with a little song for Anything. Then there were a bunch of great splashes with Anything in particular being on fire! I have no idea what she was talking about, but it was freaking histerical! A diverse group of people taking the circle and things were going well, but perhaps BD had a couple too many celebratory beers and who knows what was going on. Finally things ended, only they didn’t end and we moved on to Greasy & Olive Oil’s place and it took some time before we could move on from there… Overall a great hash day – many thanks!

This had to be the best run of the year… <Cough>. I got up early, with a fuzzy head and drove out to the shelter I’d chosen in Doi Saket. 3 1/2 hours later I’d negotiated the trails, macheted my way through the jungle, dodged the spiders and I was back home for a shower, a quick nap and then back in time for the hare brief.

I warned them about my brush with the dogs, and set them off promptly at 5 and settled back to wait. After 45 minutes, I was starting to wonder where they were, and Cumming Slow was also starting to fret.  My last run had taken 1hr 20 minutes, but it was getting darker earlier now…

Finally the phone rang, and it was Belly saying he, Frozen Dick and Big Top were at a lake (around half way) and could they bail out somewhere? I sent them to the road and went to pick them up later – although Big Top sprinted off from the others and decided to complete the route.  I don’t blame her!

Just under an hour, HRA came running up the hill arms waving in the air like an olympic champion.  He’d WON! He started a play-by-play of the route and said what a great run it was, where he’d got a check right and got away from everyone, and how he recognised the ending from last time we’d scouted, but I shouldn’t tell anyone (oops!) While all this was happening, nobody else was getting back, and it was a good 8-9 minutes before Brown Finger, Poo & Chuck Wao jogged in leading the rest of the pack.

For Chuck Wao it was a hash in 2 halves – the first half he liked (while he was in front), but the 2nd half he didn’t (while he wasn’t in front). I sloped off to get Belly Dancer & Frozen Dick and spent some time until it got dark retracing the trail in search of Big Top – who was merrily back at the shelter tucking into a beer.

Chuckie set the run from the Fire Prevention Centre, and promised it would be different from the last run he set there – and different it was…

With a clashing Bunny Hash and the Male Pattaya Outstation, the field was again small, but we doubled last weeks runners. We set off and within moments Itchy Bitchy was trying to short cut across a river. I hit the first couple of checks and was going well until guessing wrong on an ‘international standards’ V check. Cutting across I came to Humper Dick and the ladies (Itchy and Sleeps with anything except me).

We hit the small reservoir and when there was a circle at the end, I was convinced it was the same run backwards as Chuck Wao set before. That makes things easier (I thought). A few moments later Sloppy Rod and his son Kevin jumped out from behind a tree – they’d short cut from somewhere and were lying in wait.  Conserving energy, it was sure to be up the hill any minute???  And then a sneaky circle check had me running around in circles on my own for a while as everyone else took the inconspicuous trail to the left. I was only rescued from the silent runners by Chuck Wao who was sweeping and calling me back.

As I came up through the runners, I sprung a leak in my shoe and as my sole ripped off, I was soon running barefoot on trails which weren’t meant to be run barefoot. Across a slippy waterfall in socks wasn’t much fun. And then over sharp rocks and later broken glass. I was forced to walk, and try to keep around 100m ahead of Humperdick to guide him through the checks (the rest of which I picked right).

Humperdick finally caught me as we got back towards the A, overtaking me as I hopped and limped along the gravel road. It was a great, well marked trail that I would have loved to have been able to run, but it turned into a small, cozy, friendly hash!

On-On!

Today’s turnout was heavily depleted with the inaugural Lanna Bush Hash attracting many men to Chiang Rai. Not sure what the ladies were up to! The distance out of town may have put some off, so the turnout was myself, Chuck Wao & Mr Poo. As Mr. Poo had set the male run from the same spot last week (scouted with Knock Out) we assumed he’d know the way.

The first V check had Poo and I chuckling as Chuckie set off in the wrong direction even though the check back was clearly visible. The second check Poo & Chuckie had second thoughts about bothering to check any other way and just followed me up the hill (passed the elephant). And then Chuck Wao started his economics lesson, which spurred me on to get away from him, while Mr Poo just nodded away.

We got caught out on a few checks, but it was a sociable affair with us all sticking together, until the closing stages, where I couldn’t help myself and had to be a racing bastard. On-In down the steep hill and for the first time ever FRB and DFL were split by less than 2 metres.

The hares had set up a picnic, munching away when we got back. Why wait? the circle started and a few splashes later we gave out the wings and shifted to sociable drinking.  A pleasant evening, and early home!