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After the Bunny’s blow out 10th Anniversary Run & AGFU the previous day – everybody (except Superman) was hoping for a nice short gentle hang over run. So off out I set encircling the city and ending up in Miss Piggy’s favourite terrian – fortunately it looked very flat. As the hashers began to arrive – it was clear there was going to be a big turnout with Anything’s Iron Pussy’s up from Phuket, Running Bare’s extended family as well as visiting hashers from the US, Japan and Pattaya.

Miss Piggy and Wooly Jumper gave a hare breif whcih as usual I didnt hear as those late arriving bastards money had to be collected but I headed out just as Sups was making his stately arrival. It seemed that Miss Piggy was economical with the paper … then powder and the first couple of checks had us all over the place with the FRB visitors calling from every direction – except the trail! As we got into our stride Toe Sucker’s insight proved helpful as we headed off hardtop onto dirt and farmland. With Knockout and Twice Nightly taking turns inspiring me the pack began to spread out with Poo leading the way … well leading the calling anyway!

Someone said this was a 5km run but my GPS was telling be 4.6km already with no sign of On-In – was Miss Piggy giving us another one of her special ball breakers? The trails were easy on the feet and passing Snail Trail I ran in with Hot Seman Saver from Humpin H3, San Diego dead on 7km.

Horny Monkey led a whopping great circle – with the Iron Pussy’s even rousing from their famous food circle to come in and entertain us with their down down shimmy. HM liberally used the arm to punish the shirtless ones (Running Bare’s daughters) and Superman was dobed in for telling Miss Piggy to make the run longer. Sups annointed Dizzy – Crazy Crack and with much beer consumption and yarn telling the circle came to a close with Skid Mark being awarded the male wings for not making Miss Piggy cry this time and Paper from Phuket being awarded the female wings which just goes to show that drinking and running are a great combination – she’s been at this for > 25 years!

OnOn – Belly Dancer

AWARDS:

Yacker: Square Rooter & Mr Poo
ARM: Sarah/Caitlin/Lauren/Horny Monkey
Flying Dick: Swallow
Tits: Crazy Crack
Turd: Miss Piggy

Male Wings: Skid Mark
Female Wings: Paper

With the GM back, he was determined to set his mark with the worst run of the year – the lazy hare chose a terrible location wedged between the zoo and CMU – convenient for him, but unpleasant to drive to with the extra Bangkok traffic. Nonetheless with moments to spare the songthaew arrived and he started a somewhat convoluted hare brief – we’d have circles, Vs, skiddy sticks, a booby check and a ‘4’ check.

Finally we could get started, with most expecting the usual climb up the waterfall. Mr. Poo had set a run here a couple of weeks back – and that was a tough climb that started off with a strange loop through the fitness park. It felt like deja vu as we set off, but I had spotted some powder as I drove in, so was fairly confident we weren’t going to be climbing too much. Through the fitness park we got to the booby check at the far end. Begrudgingly we waited for Anything to jog up with Knock Out and S&M Girl following behind – on the plus side we didn’t have to wait long, on the downside we didn’t actually get to check any boobies.

Off down the road past the entrance to CMU and HRA was keen to get racing. He spotted some skiddy sticks, but we didn’t stop continuing looking for powder down past some shops. Everyone was back together as we trudged back to the entrance to CMU and Stumbling Dyke was historically leading the way, for a few milliseconds until order was restored. As we ran through the university in search of the women’s dorms, pretty much everyone stayed together trying to spot powder.

We arced to the right and soon hit the wall from the zoo. HRA didn’t want to wait at the ‘4’ stop, so there was a quick breakaway there with Mr. Poo and a virgin joining HRA with a sprint up a steep little mound. Graven Image and I reached the peak as the FRBs spotted the evil skiddy sticks and turned back. It wasn’t far from here, but still everyone was in a big group – Square Rooter following Graven along a short jungle trail (we were briefly off tarmac). Total distance about 3.5km and we were back at the truck for the circle.

My suspicion was that Horny Monkey had been drinking while setting the run, and it seemed I was right as he struggled to get the circle moving. Forgetting to splash the hares, forgetting to drink his splash beer… He must be out of practice! On-On!

I woke up this morning feeling like I’d done another 50k run yesterday – and it was supposed to be a Loi Kateoy Bar Crawl! When I finally crawled my way through the traffic and found somewhere to park somewhat near to the Hash Pub, there was already a reasonably sized group getting into the spirit of it with even Chuck Wao posing for the cameras in his bright red wig – it seems it’s ok for him to have his photo taken as a woman, but not as a man – interesting! Something we don’t know?

With a little delay we were ushered outside and told it would be a live hare run with checks etc. I hadn’t done one of these before so had no idea what to expect, but I thought we’d just be doing a bit of a bar crawl? But I’ve learnt with Belly Dancer you have to expect the unexpected and prepare for the worst. And so it was – a strange crowd of cross dressers swarmed out of the hash pub chasing a strange man in pink down to the river whooping and squealing. The first check – outside Pantip Plaza immediately scattered us, but the psychotic hare was taking us towards the river and the crowds of Loi Kratong celebrators.

Over the iron bridge we went like a scene from Monty Python with bemused onlookers taking photos. Bone Hur was the leader eagerly chatting up policemen – asking them where he could find more Katoeys. Brown Finger found some powder and we headed along the river to the Nawarat Bridge. The bridge was crowded and we ran out of trail. Apparently there was a check there somewhere, but nobody saw it. Finally we found the hare supping a beer in his pink Bunny T-shirt in Riverside. Riverside? Seriously? One of the most crowded, upmarket, sophisticated(?) and expensive bars in Chiang Mai! And here we were the center of attention dressed as women. The night could only get better – or could it???

The hare was off again and we gave him his 5 minutes before inside information took us straight through the crowds over Nawarat Bridge. I don’t like crowds at the best of times – perhaps that’s why hashing appeals normally – but dressed in drag it was awkward squeezing through the throng. Straight up Thapae Road things started to clear up and soon we turned right onto the backward street and ducked into back alleys working our way back to the moat and Riva bar. I thought this was going to be a short bar crawl, but this was turning into a real run – no time to get drunk we were too busy running (in sandals).

The third leg was the best – 300m or so straight up to EuroDiner with the 4th leg a loop back around to Next Place. Of course we had to head to Loi Kroh road and there was a quick extra stop at Fish Bar before ending up back at the Hash Pub. Finally I could get out of my dress! A circle? It was nearly midnight, so thankfully it was a brief affair – no idea what anything was about, but I got a T-shirt!

I should have headed home at that point, but Belly had promised us a taster for Saturday’s Lanna Run 00:11, 11/11/11. An all male run, so I figured we’d be heading around the corner to the closest male oriented bar. I never imagined a 3km+ hash run, complete with checks, through the darkness in the early hours of the morning. Local residents must have really appreciated random drunks shouting “On-On” outside their bedroom windows in the small hours! Graven Image was still in his dress trailing behind us moaning, grumbling and groaning. Finally we crawled our way into Greasy’s restaurant. We’d had plenty of time to sober up, so the beer was welcome, but it was cold and late and I had work the next day. No logistics.
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