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The run site was the “Disco Shelter”, until yesterday, when the hare’s husband discovered that the disco shelter had been fenced off and instead we would risk the rains from the side of the road just around the corner. I was dubious and as the rains started 10 minutes before we started the run, we dived into the songthaew. Fortunately it was a passing shower and things cleared up for the rest of the run.

The hare brief was given by the co-hare, and we discovered later the hare had little to do with the run beyond grumbling about shoe choice. Nonetheless, Belly Dancer took off on his usual early run sprint – only today was different from usual – normally he gets the first check wrong and is never seen again – today he got it right, and it wasn’t until the 2nd check that he got wrong and wasn’t seen again… 😉

The trail took us up a creek bed and I was doing well despite still recovering from bad meds, but when we reached a ridge it was gamble time – were we looping left to right or right to left? clockwise or anti clockwise? DAMN! I second and third guessed myself and was stranded up the wrong hill when the OnOn was called. I cantered my way through the pack and caught up as around half a dozen hashers were following HRAs advice and guarding a check while Junglicious was sent ahead to check… Junglicious??? WTF? Where did she come from? The insanely fast running goddess had appeared from nowhere on the trail and was up front setting the pace – she didn’t even hear the hare brief!

A circle check at junction on a ridge – I remember there being a sneaky trail back down the previous gully, so went to check – it didn’t look right, but when the OnOn was finally called, I was way off trail, and again spending time with the ladies as I puffed my way back to the front runners. Sure enough I caught them at another circle check at a junction on a ridge – this looked more familiar, and I ducked down the sneaky trail down the gully before and sure enough there was the paper- muahahaha!

Humperdick cut trail across to join me as we plummeted down the hill and hit a brick wall? wtf? That was as unexpected as Junglicious! Cutting to the left we hit a barbed wire fence? WTF? I could smell the beer just yards away, and we turned back up the hill to find a detour around the wires… Ugh… I needed a lie down, I needed a rest… I came to with Sleeps on it fanning me with a big leaf – paradise, until I saw Fishy Fingers and Human Excrement watching like a couple of perverts!

The circle went on a while, but it was a good one – one that you just don’t need to call a close to. OnOn at a Isaan restaurant which was also great! All in all a great hash – cheers Snail Trail…. Skiddy…

Itchy seemed in a better mood when we arrived at the run site – better than when she’d sent the run directions in a flurry of expletives at least. Given that it had rained solidly for 16 hours, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had called the hash off, but nonetheless a small committed field of all weather hashers assembled to see what punishment we had in store. At least the hares had thoughtfully chosen a site with a shelter, and also cleverly set the run in paper – what an inspiration!

We set off and ran through the usual run site (that doesn’t have a shelter) – curious that there was no check there, I logged that for later on! The 2nd check had us all over the place until Chuckie set off calling ONON – I chased after the wrong side of the fence. At the next V check I confused everyone when I found a check back at the same time Chuckie did. We figured out my mistake and HRA took off on a run of form with Poo, Chuckie and I chasing after him – Hollow Legs and newly named Nutcracker were also in the mix – no sign of Jeff though…

After HRA stormed through a few circle checks he was finally foxed and we regrouped with CW and Poo taking charge – the next check screwed CW, and then a great V check took Poo out, leaving me with a slight advantage. The last couple of checks are always the most important, and luckily I got them figured out. Unlike everyone else I also didn’t get lost after the On-In which meant I got plenty of drinking time before the rest got back.

Pleasant enough circle with a small compact group – we need to find some more numbers for the Sunday runs… OnOn

On the way to the run I chatted with Sleeps on It about how Semen Soars sets good runs – he certainly puts a lot of effort into making sure it is a good one. I also recounted the story of last time SS set a run out here and the trouble we all had finding it – I remembered the first time I met Humperdick was when Dykie rescued us from the highway where really there should have been a sign… Today, again, there was no sign, but fortunately we had no problem finding the run site, and found Anything (Happy Birthday) already there.

The Songthaew found it ok, along with Throbbing Ninja, some guests and some others. No sign of Chuck Wao, Humperdick and more importantly Suckit & Itchy were missing with the beer!!! Frantic phone calls, and eventually we had to set off, up some temple steps and back down again. We cut along the side of the ridge, and everybody was sticking together, largely due to Nicky (now Able Seaman) leading the walkers straight along the bottom of the hill.

We ran along the side of a small irrigation canal, and that was when a 4some broke off at the front – Brown Finger, Mr. Poo, HRA and myself. What fun!? There were plenty of checks that kept us dancing around, left and right, round in circles, taking turns to hit the front and immediately screw up. The trails were great, and clearly a lot of thought had gone into exploring them and finding a great way of using them. Good Work SS.

The trail went on for nearly 8km, but the hare had even considered the best place for the sun to set as we cut around the edge of some rice paddies on our way in. I hit the last few checks, and Brown Finger jogged up next to me and we ran in together – a nice way to finish my last run with the machine – best of luck in the coming years, and hope you’ll make it back to run with us in the not too distant future!

The beers were opened and the walkers straggled in with Chuckie and Humperdick bringing up the rear having finally found the run site. The circle was… unfortunate… Incidents that just aren’t part of the “Happy” Hash. Whatever the reasons / blame etc. we all hash because we like the exercise, the beer, the fun – the ‘family’ – I’ll remember that rather than anything else that happened. The hash is the whole event – the run, the circle, the On-On… The run was fantastic, I had a pleasant dinner and much of the circle was fun.

OnOn!

(Courtesy Brown Finger)

With Songkran hangovers and joyous memories of Saturday’s splendid “family” hash still echoing
through contentedly vacant skulls, we arrived in dribs and drabs at the Hash Pub to wait for the
Songthaew to arrive to take us to the Sunday Happy Hash. And we waited . . . and we waited . . . and
we waited . . . happily, of course.

Five minutes after the allotted hour of departure, HRA decided to take decisive action, so he handed
his mobile to a kindly soul behind the bar and instructed her to phone the Songthaew driver to find
out what the hell was going on. The message came back that allegedly – and to avoid any possibility
of being misconstrued in what I am saying here, I say again, allegedly, Mr Poo had told the driver
that there would not be a Happy Hash run because of the holidays. Now I am sure that Mr Poo will
have a different take on the whole affair, but then he wasn’t there, he was having his own holiday
fun, armed with a water gun, down on the Moat. So no doubt the alleged “mismanagement” will all
be cleared up to everyone’s utter satisfaction at some later date, probably from the block of ice at
the male hash on Tuesday.

Anyway, the true spirit of the hash kicked in and a random passing Songthaew was secured for
the duration of the hash for roughly the same fistful of baht, so the careful Hash Cash was not
overly concerned, yet. On the way out to the run site – it just had to be a very long way out on this
particularly mismanaged occasion – we grabbed a couple of sacks of ice, some water and some beer,
but no, we couldn’t buy beer because it wasn’t yet 17.00, and the Tesco Lotus crew were not about
to change the rules for a few crazy Farang.

We arrived only half an hour after the run time, which in many ways was a miracle, to find that good
old Chucky Doo had some beer in his car, which the Hash Cash agreed, after much arm-twisting,
to buy, but only one slab to go with the leftovers from the previous run – a canny lad is our Hash
Cash. So, after all that, we had the bare essentials for a hash – beer and ice and a hare and a goodly
number of hashers to make merriment with, and to top it all Suckit was there and had hauled a
cooler from his house despite the pain of his recent operation – hoorah for Sucking Stitches!

Hollow Legs was the nervous hare for the day, worrying about anything and everything. I thought
he was going to have a breakdown, but his new girlfriend had him on a ball-controlled leash and she
managed to pull his quivering nuts and shaking head out of the safety of his ass so that he could give
the brief and point us in the direction of the trail.

After yesterday’s rocket-fuelled drink fest and the calamitous earlier events with the non-appearing
Songthaew et al, I was glad to be running in the zone, as it were, where everything but putting your
foot down in a safe place is totally forgotten and totally superfluous. And it was a long run, about
8.5k, which suited my need to sweat out beer and to ease other tensions that somehow had gone
un-eased for a couple of days. The walkers got picked up by the Songthaew after about 4k and the
rest of us ploughed our way along good trails and mostly through good checks for the remaining 4.5,
good checks, that is, apart from the circle check that appeared to have already been kicked out by
the hare himself because there was a V check about 20 yards ahead, and one obviously wrong trail
off a V check that had the check back carefully hidden from view. Even though I knew it was the false
trail, I just had to find that blasted check back . . . and when I couldn’t, I turned to follow the trail
back to the V, and there it was, stapled at head height to the wrong side of a tree. WTF . . .

Anyway, I can’t remember much more about the run as I was still fighting a sinister hangover that
was trying desperately to make me lose my footing and to murder me on the point of a sharp rock or
the trunk of a gnarly tree. Suffice it to say, Hollow legs and the ball-clenching Rosanne did a fine job
with setting the trail and we all arrived almost together sweating and cursing back at the A, all that
is except the ball-twisted Seman Sores – yes folks, its true I tell you – who arrived a bit later, just as
Frozen Dick was about to “run” back up the trail to look for him before it got too dark. WTF . . .?

The refreshingly convivial sound of a Suckit Circle permeated the hot evening air for a little while,
and then the more serious and clipboard-armed hare took it over with stories and jokes and the
occasional splash that lasted long into the night. And then it was all over, and there was no on-on, so
we clambered into the Songthaew with our new and friendly Thai driver and headed back to town.
And do you know what, our most amazing Hash Cash had got it right, there had been more than
enough beers, enough in fact for a rodie, albeit one of those tasteless San Miguel Light things that
some hashers but not many seem to enjoy.

So there you have it, a great run by Hollow Legs ably assisted by the nut-tugging Roseanne, and
in the end we had beer and ice to enjoy while the balmy evening turned black and a couple of tiny
flashlights occasionally pieced its heavy veil. As for the confusion at the start of the day, well that’s
all just part of the hash – who cares? It all turned out right in the end . . . didn’t it? And there will
eventually be a perfectly rational and totally understandable explanation for it all . . . won’t there?
Of course there will, I’ll bet my little brown finger on it!