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30th September – CH4 – Bend Over

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Ouch! Zzzzzz…..

29th September – CSH3 – Just Cumming

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Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Many thanks to the LBH3 – we had a lot of fun without them! In the skies there was a battle between Evil RA and Good RA with the Evil RA sending a storm which turned the planned A site into a muddy swamp and had some hashers making a break and heading home. Those that braved it out saw JC part the clouds and move the runsite to a much better location just up the hill – no more rain – JC had won.

We took off down the road along the paper we’d seen while driving in. Cutting left at the circle check, I led the hashers in a pointless little loop that took us back to the A within about a km, only for JC and Wooly Jumper to point us off down another trail… – Runs like today really make you appreciate it when the hare takes the time to scout their run properly! The rest of the trail could have been set by motorbike, but I got more than my share of checks right 😉

Sounds faded behind me – largely because we had 2 of Chiang Mai’s most notorious silent runners (Turkish and Sloppy) – actually I probably didn’t need to name them, you all knew that anyway. It turns out the pair of them also attempted a short cut in their “Win at All Costs” strategy and promptly got completely lost, leaving a bemused Mr. Poo.

While many circles start well and go downhill, this one started slowly, but rose to a crescendo where Anything topped it off with another performance where she loudly berated Turkey’s erection. Turkey fully deserves his personal block of ice, and had us completely entertained at the OnOnOn… – What does “neuw” mean? I’m buying eskimos…

22nd September – CSH3 – Hollow Legs

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Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast)

Hollow Legs always gets in a panic when he’s the hare, desperate to make everything ‘perfect’, today’s addition was the carefully painted red sticks, and as the hare brief started, we discovered that if we see red sticks on the ground it could mean one of several things:-
* Skiddy Check
* Cross Check
* V Check
* Circle Check (indicated like a Cross Check)
* One of the above disguised due to someone kicking them
* A check that had already been kicked out, indicated “somehow”

This could be interesting. We were also told that it was tough, and the songthaew would pick up anyone unable to find their own way back…

OnOn and we were off on the usual trail towards the temple steps – but not today, after a km across the flat we hit the low hills and there was a fantastic skiddy check. It caught the whole pack out, even though we knew it was going to be a skiddy check. We eventually regrouped following Chuckie along a trail we’d hit before gently up the hill. Suddenly we veered to the right and were climbing steeply up a cliff face and from then it got worse. Straight Up Up Up with CW and HRA setting a pace the rest of us couldn’t match.

Along a ridge, up some more, and there were some spectacular views around. My son, Plan, overtook me – I couldn’t allow that and pushed on down to the beerstop. Phew. We had choices, we could go back the way we’d come (another 4km), we could take the Songthaew back, or we could find our own way back. So, we dispersed in several different directions, all the FRBs finding their own ways back with at least 4 different groups breaking up. We all got back (I think), but after an exhausting 7.7km, it took a while to recover. Certainly a different hash run.

16th September – CH4 – Mr. Poo

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Happy Hash Time, and for the 2nd time in 24 hours I was on my way to the Boy Scout Camp. Reluctantly. Not my favourite runsite, and I had recollections of Mr. Poo’s penchant for hills – at new year he made Square Rooter appear tame. What would we have in store? As I drove up the hill I spotted a couple of pink postits on a tree – hmmm… they generally appear out of place… After a gap of 100m (ish) there were some more… Interesting inside knowledge that only came into play briefly as it was right at the start of the run. Sure enough around the corner we started climbing, and that was the first time Chuck Wao went the wrong way.

Having got the first couple of checks right, I continued spotting Poo’s plan, and as we intercepted part of yesterday’s trail there was another check. Yesterday I futilely climbed the hill, today there was a beautiful glint of pink waiting for me on a bush – OnOn! The trail carried on up, and somewhere behind I could hear Chuck Wao’s progress as he slowly reeled me in. We were back to the weir – I remembered that from yesterday, but let CW carry on up the hill – sucker!

Down the other side of the waterfall and there was Itchy ready to scramble through the torrent to short cut. I jogged leisurely along yesterday’s route, and when I hit another circle, the option had to be the trail to the right we’d just passed, which Chuck Wao eagerly scampered along. As he called the next circle we could see the paper of the following circle just ahead – it’s one thing to be able to see paper from a check, but to be able to see the next check? WTF?

Perhaps CW was on a high from the day before, as he threw himself off the mountain down a steep path to check. He might have been right, it was the way yesterday, but I would fancy climbing back if it was wrong… – It was wrong, and I chuckled “Wow” as I got yet another check right, and yet another as we descended past the helipad. I was on fire – I picked every check, including the ones that took us backwards.

Interesting we could have 2 runs in the same place in 2 days. I liked todays.

15th September – CSH3 – Dick Tracy

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Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Have I mentioned to anyone that I’m not really fond of hills??? Boy Scout Camp? I was wondering if a flat run was at all possible there. What the hell – with Dick Tracy in charge, it surely wouldn’t be too bad? At least that’s what I thought until I arrived at the run site to find Square Rooter holding a bag of paper grinning from ear to… erm… moving on.

I arrived early enough to witness one of the best hare/co-hare tiffs in history – once Dick Tracy found his own way back off the mountain where he’d been left stranded by his co-hare. Dick Tracy wasn’t happy, he wanted no ‘credit’ or ‘blame’ from the run and promptly stormed off in his car puffing away. He was back in time to delegate the hare brief to SR, and a crowd of hashers set off wondering what the hell we’d let ourselves in for.

Within seconds the incline was so steep most were on hands and knees sliding in the mud. It didn’t get much better. The hare (or probably the co-hare) and ingeniously put in some evil LONG check backs and the checks had me pretty screwed again and again – only I Got Gas seemed to be clued in as I went around and around in circles. I realise that technically that’s the idea of the hash, but scrambling up the steep hillside wasn’t that much fun for me. One particular check had me going a couple of hundred metres downhill, only to hit a check back and have to climb my way back. Finally we crossed the waterfall balancing on a weir before the briefest of descents back to the A.

Hats off to the hares who managed to find a run which was virtually all uphill, but somehow got us back to the A. I’ll have a long think before going to another run at the Boy Scout Camp – oh shit, the Happy Hash is there again this weekend.

8th Sept – CSH3 – Skid Mark

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Rating: 9.0/10 (1 vote cast)

When my GPS says the run was 4 hours… and distance 7km… then I assume Belly Dancer must have set one of his psycho runs again… The somewhat more logical answer is that I forgot to switch my GPS off once I got back to the A after a perfectly reasonable run!

Turkish Delight is C*nt.

Thought I should get that off my chest.

With a few days notice, Skiddy and Doggie stepped up and put together what was a great run. While the rains might have put some off, we still had a reasonable number show up, including my oldest son doing his first hash – many thanks to Frozen Dick for making sure he survived! The bonus is, it sounds like he wants to come back – and help babysit the youngsters in the future! 😀

We had a hare brief – it wasn’t – we left. On On. Paper dripping water. Puddles and Splashes. Up the hill? No. I played around on the mountain side for a while, before realising it wasn’t going to be an evil run. First Skiddy Checks screwed Turkish – at least I hope they did, and I couldn’t think of a more deserving character. On On.

Turkey, a.k.a. Silent Running Bastard, hit the front and chose not to call. Not a sound. Virtually everyone on the hash knew the cnut was a racist, but what can you do? The sporty FRBs like Chuckie and HRA were out of town so we were left with TD. My favourite moment of the day was seeing him out in a field after a well placed Skiddy Sticks – serve the MF right!

As we hit a village, not sure what happened to the trail… The paper was marked one way, it was as though there was a check, but no check left. Turned out the true trail was in a different direction, and TD (akacnut) found trail and wasn’t heard again.

Nonetheless, it was a GREAT trail – I really enjoyed it – great scenery, excellent checks that kept us all together, at short notice great work hares.

I also (for once) enjoyed the circle! Cameos included I Got Gas, Slippery When Wet and Anything, with a drunken Rooter also being a highlight. The On On ON was right there. Probably one of the most enjoyable hash evenings I’ve had in a while!

2nd September – CH4 – Sleeps On It

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Familiar area at the Ag Centre and the hare had promised me a run around the bottom, so hopefully no hills. Hare brief done, we set off and I promptly checked 180 degrees wrong at the first check. Bend Over had brought the kids and they were already looking for opportunities to short cut. I tracked back through the throng after Chuckie and Skiddy and it was Chuckie that was dropped off at the 2nd check. Skiddy got caught at the 3rd where they’d dug up a previous trail and I led the way as we looped around towards the fields.

I was accused of short cutting, when a more accurate description would be enthusiastic checking. At the Ag. Center there are only so many ways to go, and so check hard enough in the right general direction and you’ll find paper. Sure enough I did. Although at one point it was quite a bit further along before I could loop around and rejoin the trail.

Chuckie was unstoppable as my legs grew weary and we finished a pleasant 6+km run by crossing the dam wall back to the A.

OnOn

1st September – CSH3 – Belly Dancer

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Belly had been on the hareline for months – so long that his own hash (CH3) organised an outstation just to avoid it! Nonetheless a fair sized group got together for his run set with Chilly Pussy with visitors from Hong Kong adding to the numbers. A fairly subdued hare brief, with a promise that we weren’t going to die…

And off we set with Haggis from Hong Kong hot on my heels to the first check. I took the left fork, he took the right and when we got back still everyone was milling around waiting for Anything to show us the way… Hmmm… A repeating story as it seems Anything had some inside information…

At a V check I avoided the hill, checking to the left with Haggis, Stan and Square Rooter. We ran out of paper, hunted around but couldn’t find a check back. Must have lost 5 mins or so then till we spotted what might have been a check back discarded by kids into a nearby field. Bugger.

Up the hill, into the shiggy, Chuckie out of earshot ahead. Were we looping to the left? Or to the right? or back to the left again? Eventually we got back in the direction of the cars, and finally Chuckie was thwarted by the final circle check. But after a long chase in the heat, I was spent and walked in with Humperdick, Unplugged and Dog Shit passing me by.

Great food after the run at the circle site. OnOn.

25th August – CSH3 – I Got Gas

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Rating: 7.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Kids were super excited about swimming today, so we were early out to I got Gas’s pool, ready for the big hash / barbecue / pool party! I had high hopes, until I Got Gas confessed to Frozen Dick’s influence into the run, but anyway we’ll give it a go. Setting off over a concrete bridge, we were soon back on the road, and as is my custom, I set the early pace… Frozen Dick clearly wanted to screw me early with a long set of Skiddy Sticks… But sadly when we got there, the sticks were gone, and we spent a while ‘looking’ until Skiddy played CSI and discovered evidence of there formerly being sticks…

Wooly Jumper was for a short while the FRB, as the trail headed off towards the Tiger camp area. I jogged along with Chuckie, only to get badly screwed at the next check, and spend a long time chasing the pack to get back together. Up the hill – fortunately not too bad – and we ran into confusion at a check with some old paper hanging. Fortunately Turkey and I found the real paper and we headed off back down the hill.

The next set of skiddy sticks didn’t confuse me as I spotted the paper off trail to the left and then we were on familiar ground – through an old A site, a dip into the jungle until I found Doggie short cutting his was in from the road. Stan on his return ran smartly in along with Can’t Stop Cumming – who is always keen to overtake after the On-In.

The pool was an obvious draw after the run, and it took some effort to get the circle started. The highlight of the circle had to be Mr. Poo drinking from another man’s ‘not’ new shoes… Apart from that, I propose we follow the mantra “short circle is a good circle”, and change the circle format to -> 1) Open Circle 2) Splash Hares 3) Wings 4) Close Circle. Who’s with me??

My favourite part of hashing is the run, then only Chuck Wow grumbles into my ear… (Ok, so does Humperdick… and Graven…), but at least it’s limited to those who I can’t run away from!

19th August – CH4 – Belly Dancer

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Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast)

A Belly Dancer run, during rainy season, from Doi Kham area… The memories came flooding back on route to the run! Nonetheless, it was one of the larger recent turnouts for the Happy Hash – perhaps Anything’s marketing, or perhaps there are just a bunch of people willing to subject themselves to challenging misery?! Dogshit thought better of it, and swiftly turned back when he saw the A site – Cool Ball’s restaurant.

We set off on the tarmac in the general direction of the hills – the were quite far off though, so surely we wouldn’t be going up there? A couple of checks in and I was going well. We hit the trail along the bottom of the mountain with an abrupt left – no check? Interesting – either we were going left (around night safari), or right (around ratchapruek), or doing a bit of a hill climb and back parallel to the out trail – my guess was the 3rd option, so why the hell did I screw up the V check? Fuck! Idiot!

As we turned off the trail into the hills, Chuckie got first choice and took the advantage. At 3.5 km the trail headed deeper into the mountains, and I bailed, heading for home… I intercepted the trail after avoiding the mountain, and jogged in comfortably. When Chuckie came in – he suggested the hill wasn’t as unpleasant as it initially appeared, but I guess Belly’s reputation had got ahead of him?

Back to Cool Balls for the circle in the garden. Highlight for me? Bloody Mary getting the circle! One of the best ad hoc splashes in history – and I think Skiddy enjoyed it too! 😉