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21st October – CH4 – Human Excrement

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Human Ex teamed up with Skid Mark for a run out on the new Sankampaeng road. I gingerly made my way out there, still trying to recover from the punishing that Throbbing Ninja gave yesterday, and then Big Top gave last night!

We set off, and immediately found a small girl who was proudly brandishing a handful of Human Ex strips that she’d found hanging on the trees… Bugger! We should be pleased that HE had set it in Human Ex Strips, rather than Human Ex… but it took us a while to get started – randomly finding the first circle.

I was off and feeling lucky – sure enough I breezed through the first couple of checks until we hit the canal. What to do? I had some space, so the key was to get across the canal as surely we’d be in the hills on the other side – I chose left, it turned out it was right, but I soon joined Semen Soars and Chuck Wao at the front. CW makes a habit of taking the dumb trails – I guess he likes the challenge of chasing? After that one check, the rest started falling into place.

We reached the first water crossing – a small leap for mankind – I admit to getting a food wet, but I was too busy goading CW who was not far behind. When I found we had to cross back over the same stream moments later, it was even more fun!

Along a canal, and there was a 2 circle combination that had us foxed for a while. With the canal blocking the hashers, I got lucky and headed out into the rice fields shouting “ONON”. The followers had some trouble picking up the trail – it wasn’t easy. I suspect they might have been following the call, and missed the fairly reasonable route I took following the paper. Either way I inched ahead and after a little “Skiddy Dance” over some bridges (which were all in place when I went through, but apparently Plan destroyed them), I got back to the rice paddies, only to see the rest of the pack in the distance behind me. Muahaha, it was all mine!

Until…. We’d been promised skiddy sticks, and skiddy stick I found… Semen Soars was at least in earshot when I set off along the trail, only to hopelessly get the final circle check wrong. It brought us back together, and although I spotted the paper first, we had to climb over a little hill to get home… Hills like that are CW’s playground, and sure enough he pressed on up and you couldn’t mistake the glee in his voice when he called OnIn!

An absolutely fantastic set – why can’t all hash runs be like that? The circle that followed broke and kept suitable protocols – who cares? It was a blast! And it continued to the OnOnOn – where we learned that Semen Soars shouldn’t be allowed to advise children!

OnOn

20th October – CSH3 – Throbbing Ninja

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Whoa! That was a run we won’t forget for a long while… What on earth was Throbbing Ninja thinking??? Even the Lanna run didn’t go that high up that bloody mountain…

I arrived to find a packed out runsite – a nice garden restaurant turned over to the hashers for the evening. We took over and with a strong contingent from Hong Kong it was going to be a busy one. The briefest of harebriefs set us off down the usual out trail, and I lead the string of HK’ers until Ice Dancer overtook and stopped calling – silent running cnut.

We got to the hill and climbed, and climbed and climbed… Every check was UP with nearly 300m of elevation gain. An epic which had us doubting whether Throbbing could have set it by bike or not. Eventually she must have got bored of climbing and randomly cut abruptly left to scramble through shiggy and descend back down to the waterfall. WTF?

The larger than usual circle was fun, and at the OnOnOn, TN made up for the crappy run with some most excellent food.

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flyer

Who’s Coming?

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Google spreadsheet

CH4 Outstation/Wedding

The wedding will be at Insda resort (Click here for pictures) on Samoeng road on the 10th of February. The special Valentines Saturday Hash run on 9th February will be on the Samoeng road, so that Hashers can easily go on to the resort afterwards.

There will be a run on Sunday morning, followed by a circle, then lunch, then the wedding.

Rooms are 1600 Baht/night. Those who have set a Happy Has run in the last year will receive some financial assistance from the Happy Hash Cash.

Name:-

Shirt Size:- Nights at the resort (9th, 10th, Both, Neither):-

14th October – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

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Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast)

A BmY live hared always gets the blood pumping a bit faster and after reading Frozen Dick’s Facebook post about how a trail is a ‘work of art’ – I fully expected BmY to apply his vast intelligence into setting something pretty special.

However …. Evil Big Top conspired with Chuck Wao and Mr Poo to thwart his endeavours the night before by plying him with beer. Grease Gorilla too had been enlisted to further fill him with sambuca …. Fortunately I decided that a peaceful night before Anything came back from Phuket was a more sensible option than heading into town (no one saw me did they? 5555).

I got a bleary phone call at 12:35 Sunday lunchtime from BmY asking be to bring along a powder bottle – rats had devoured his bottles – and I asked if his co-hare was ready? There was earlier promise of Fish and Tits co-haring with BmY, but he forlornly said since she learnt of her role in the run – she had gone A.W.O.L.

So I headed off (yet again) to Doi Suckit and BmY’s favourite running territory and there was a nervous panic stricken BmY waiting – hummm – whats to become of this? BmY then proceeded to tell me about the dump trucks carrying away his run!! This did not look promising at all – I was even more perturbed when he told me where he had hidden the beer – did he seriously think I would get there first to find it!?

A good crowd of 28 turned up and a shaking BmY got on with the hare brief (well … a rather long brief) and after Skid Mark had been selected for precision time keeping – BmY was given a 5 minute head start.

Grease Gorilla had brought KY and was eager to run BmY down – Chuck Wao and Mr Poo looked like they’d just fallen out of bed. Humperdick along with Cant Stop Cumming, Cock Climber and her sexy sister (Clit Climber?) led the early charge.

On Out and as usual I got to the first check and proceeded to get it wrong … just … as Cant Stop Cumming just found the paper ahead of me … BmY had won the day at this check as all the FRB’s were totally off course and must have taken 2 or 3 minutes for them to regain the lead.

Through some modest shaggy and then round BmY’s scenic lakes – this was some great hashing – the checks kept the pack nicely together with me alternating between which was the better view – the trail, Knockout or Seman Soars daughter Lauren (Pussy Sores?).

On the look out for the BN (beer near) marking and BmY’s cryptic description of where to find it – after 2.3km there was the FRB huddle were supping into it. It turns out that 6 can’s was enough for everybody – more smart thinking BmY! I (stupidly) thought that this was half way and would help BmY out by bringing his mini-eske back – humm – not a smart move on my part!!

A little before we got to the main canal – a V-check totally screwed the FRB’s – it had been kicked out wrong as I arrived, perhaps it was Cant Stop Cumming who went the right way and called on – but by now BmY was no doubt back at the ‘B’(?) supping his 2nd beer.

At the canal the obligatory check left the temptation to head back down the road a tempting option – surely BmY would not have much more left in him? Wrong – the run became a bit more challenging – with a circle check hidden by a stream crossing catching us all out and bringing the pack together – Skid Mark or Dog Shit I think found the innocuous little trail off this.

Through some shiggy and then some road (hummm) … then into a buffalo field that forced us to slow down and finally the pack was dispersing. Glancing at the GPS as we finally reached the canal again – 6.66km!!

BmY claimed an 11 minute gap on FRB Chuck Wao – well done Sir – a great RUN despite the attempts to thwart you!!

An exhausted BmY handed the circle over to RA Mr Poo – who did a fine job entertaining the circle. (Lovely) Dog Shit’s new girlfriend (Nam Tarn) was awarded the female wings and Humperdick unjustly got the male wings for admiring Knockout’s butt!!

OnOnOn to the restaurant opposite the Airport in anticipation of picking up the Bunnies returning from Phuket. More inspired planning from BmY – Thanks for a fun day – (and I want my bottle back before your rats eat it!).

OnOn
BD

Scout:-
Set:-

13th October – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Mr. Poo chose Frozen Dick to co-hare with him, and that explains why the run was way out past Doi Saket, and not at Wat Umong or the Boy Scout Camp..! Anyway, we made our way out to the outstation, with Superman and Chilly Pussy missing the run start. Sups was duly punished for not getting the beer there on time, and Humps protested the lack of water. Turkish had already confused most of the drivers by stopping at the wrong A site, while Big Top, Geisha Gash and Shagless cruised way past the A bucket, presumably scouting future runs?

After such a shambolic start, we set off and I immediately got the first check wrong, but I caught back up with the FRBs as we approached a lake that I have some less than fond memories of. Jogging down away from the lake, I kicked a snake by mistake – ugh!!! At the cross check, Chuck Wao correctly guessed uphill and after coming back from the check back a largish group proceeded up the hill. They hares had done a good job with the checks, and there were some more tough ones to come – Skiddy found the paper after a great check that brought everyone back together before sending us down a tiny ‘trail’? We scrambled across a hill and as we emerged to a small trail the other end, we were completely disoriented.

Turkish got the pick of the check and cruised off the way we all wanted to go. We suspected him of silent running and followed after him – meanwhile, Sloppy Rod was the silent running c*nt who wanted to win like a racist bastard and refused to call again for the rest of the run. As Chuck Wao, myself and HRA pursued him fortunately he got his just deserts and was later punished on the ice.

The circle was fun, and then it was in to town to be punished by the evil Big Top!

7th October – CH4 – Dog Shit

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A 6 hour drive at break neck speed got me back in time for the run – almost… I picked the boys up and got back around 15 minutes late… Never mind, I might catch up. My legs were painful though, so it was a struggle to get moving up and over the first little hill.

The trail was a little confusing, as I later found Dog Shit out there relaying part of it – he ran off to show me the correct route, and I set off in pursuit of distant calls. After a while I came to Tip Toe, who had returned from foreign parts.

The trickiest part of the pursuit was that the checks were squares of paper, that couldn’t be kicked out, and so I had to guess a bit on each of the checks. But soon enough I spied Plan, Square Rooter and Human Excrement. As we headed quickly back towards the cars, the rest were ahead somewhere, with Chuckie and Humps doing better on both the trail and the journey back – hats off to the outstationers who got back in time to support Doggie.

Sorry – no trail map today – I left the GPS on half way back across town.

7th October – CSH3 – Redundant Semen

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After Cool Ball’s epic outstation run, we struggled to assemble for a hangover run – hopefully Redundant Semen wouldn’t punish us too much… Heading out of the resort the legs were sore. We headed down the hill behind the resort, and I was dreading the fact we’d have to climb up again.

It was the ladies leading the way with Anything, Unplugged and Snail Trail. When they got to a V check, Anything took off on the more obvious trail to the right, while Snail Trail and Unplugged wanted me to do the dummy run left. Screw that, I took off after Anything, and was pleased to get the next 2 checks right – pleased because it led us speedily back to the resort, the beer, and a very brief circle.

6th October – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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It’s outstation time! Cool Balls had been warming up to this epic for weeks! First up it’s at Khun Yuam – about 20km north of Mae Sariang… 20km MY FUCKING ASS!!! Close to 100km along steep winding roads more like it. Once everyone had signed up he offered us half a dozen different ways to get there – the quickest of which was about 5 hours – short of hiring a helicopter of course!

Hashers straggled into the resort throughout the afternoon, weary from their rides / drives etc. We drank our way through Friday evening, with a restful day on Saturday, UNTIL 3pm when we gathered for the hash. I’d noticed Cool Balls and Redundant Semen slip away for around 4 hours in the morning, which was ominous… It was more ominous when Cool Balls appeared to lose the start of his run – emphasized as it took us 700m to find the first bits of paper.

Shortly after Chuckie and I split at the first V check – he was right, I was wrong. Where I say ‘first’ V check, actually it was the ONLY V check. And it seemed there were only 2 more circle checks to go as well – in 9.5km… YES 9.5km with 3 checks!

The trail led us down to a river, with a nice concrete bridge over it – apparently the only bridge the hares could find! I caught up with CW as he was turning back from a water crossing – I persuaded him otherwise and he joined the rest of the crazy hashers for a dip – not much that can be done on an A->B run! If you go back to the start, there’ll be nobody there…

We gamboled our way through some rice fields, with HRA and Anything somewhere up front. Chuckie vocalised his displeasure in typical style as we jogged on to a snake and leach infested corn field. A circle check had us all confused and 30 odd hashers dispersed through the field following what appeared to be trail, but which then trickled out. Finally Skiddy found the trail, the other side of the river, and we all dutifully waded through it. Lucky Skiddy had his camera to capture the moment. We then waded along the river to where the cars were waiting at a “B” stop.

After a beer, it was HRA that rustled up some hashers to go out on a 2nd leg – Humperdick showing fine form, with Unplugged, Snail Trail, Anything, Big Top, Cumalot, HRA, BmY, Skiddy braving the inevitable hill. Sure enough, he sent us back over the river (over a bridge this time), and straight to the foot of mount doom. There were no more checks, it was just a straight up climb. Probably one of the steepest hills Thailand has to offer, and every step sapped my energy to the point of collapse near the top. Fortunately, what goes up, must come down, and the downhill was a great running trail. I opened up, tracking Humpers, but only catching him when he screwed up at an invisible check – the cunning hares had again found a way to bring us back together, without using checks.

Through the rice fields and we were surely on our way home… I was so weary, I’d forgotten we were the wrong side of the river. Here it was narrower, faster, the current strong on my weary legs. Humps nearly fell too, so I stalled with HRA to pluck the ladies out as they surely got swept away – or rather, I stayed to watch HRA pluck the ladies out as none of us really had any energy left. Unplugged and Anything would have found a shorter route back to Chiang Mai had HRA not rescued them.

An epic 9.5km run. It had everything – water, ricefields, trail, climbing, descending through some truly spectacular countryside. If it wasn’t for the hash we would never experience it, so as the pain subsided, we appreciated the efforts of the hares more.