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18th November – CH4 – Big Top

Posted on November 18, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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EVIL was setting the run, and she’d done a web search to try and find a virgin runsite! The runsite was probably virgin – it looked like it had been dug out a few days before, and we proceeded to park up in a mud pit. Fortunately it wasn’t raining! I was pretty sure we’d run around the area fairly recently though!

The hare brief warned us about the potential of 200m circle checks (just to fuck with us), as well as false trails etc. I was trying to pay attention, but wasn’t the only one suffering from an EVIL induced hangover! 😉 Anyway, Humperdick and I set off running and the trail started with a circle. Only one obvious trail away from it, and I was calling OnOn at the road. We ducked into a resort, and a circle at the side of a lake. Clearly we had to go one side of the lake or the other, so I set off running – with potentially 200m to the first powder I got to the other side of the lake before I heard Chuckie calling from the road on the cliff above me. Darn it to buggery, I was screwed!

I cut through a resort that Bend Over and HRA have used as an A bucket before, and rejoined the trail behind Frozen Dick. I caught Human Excrement as he guarded a check – no effort to kick it out, just standing and guarding!

The trail headed up the hill, a nice trail that I’ve run down before – I prefer running down it! Semen Soars and Chuckie were enjoying themselves up front while Poo and I enjoyed ourselves behind Unplugged and Beautiful Box! There’s a great trail that cuts around the side of the mountain, and we could see SS ahead, so far ahead… After a circle check the hare gave great attention to avoiding the nice trail down, cutting steep down an orchard instead. CW didn’t like it, but he didn’t like me throwing myself off the side either, so we hit the rubber wall together. No chance either of us was going to check left – that’s about a 10km detour!!! The next False Trail caught out CW because he’s a good sport, and it let Poo join us at the last check.

The memory of the 200m circle checks had faded, and the pack regrouped as we didn’t want to go past 120… Finally CW found it and jogged on home. Very similar to a run that Bend Over and HRA have set in reverse, but there is a good reason – it’s a good run!

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17th November – CSH3 – Superbitch

Posted on November 18, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Superbitch teamed up with Wooly Jumper for the run, and they were looking suitably haggard when we showed up – they were busy picking the grass seeds out of their trousers. An ominous sign. They told me roughly where to start, but with the paper starting around a few corners, we were lucky to find the out trail!

At the first check we passed one of the world’s most mangy dogs, and I was attacked by a few more as I missed where the trail left the road up into the hills. It was a scramble up the shiggy bank to a trail and HRA hit the front. I jogged along with Horny Monkey, Humperdick and Unplugged until we met HRA coming back from a false trail at a cross check. I got lucky at the next check and hit a few checks spot on, going well until HRA caught me at a circle check on the top of a hill.

The trails looked familiar, we were close to where Square Rooter and I set about a month back. HRA sprinted off past me to check to the left, and I reluctantly went to the right – this time I was lucky though, and found the trail through a field and into some more shiggy. It was slow going and I heard Chuckie behind asking how far ahead I was.

Now we were on the trails I knew and getting another circle right I sped ahead rounded a corner and there was the “ON IN”. I was a little confused as I didn’t think we were that close to the A, but we had already done 4.5km or so. I kept plugging away, and then got off paper. Chuckie caught up as I started thinking I’d screwed up, but after 500m or so, we found some paper.

CW was begging me to let him overtake after the On-In, and eventually I let him go. Semen Soars also went past. How far was this??? My GPS said about 2.2km from the On-In back to the beers… It seems the hares hadn’t scouted and had grossly misjudged where they were, and neglected to go back and move the On-In. Shame as that was probably the only downside to a nice run on some great trails!

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13th Nov – CH3 – Semen Soars

Posted on November 13, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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LIVE HARE! Good work Semen – I love this shit! He looked particularly nervous, and begged us to give him 6 minutes headstart. There was little chance of us catching him, but asking for 6 minutes is certainly more admirable than laying a false trail ahead of time (Mr. Poo).

I actually ran up the hill at the start, all the way to the temple, only to find the trail actually cut off back down and looped back to within a hundred yards of the A. Semen could probably hear us insulting him as he laid trail! Some of the trail seemed familiar, but I for some reason I kept checking just off trail. Handsome, renamed as “Viral Sores” did a good job of confusing us further as the hare laid circle after circle after circle. Sensible plan.

For me, the trail fell apart as we appeared to go into the rice fields… I checked way too far on Square Rooter’s insistence. Last time I listen to him! The cunning bastard hare had hooked me proper and looped back to the right. Goddamnit, when I got out of the rice fields, I must have been half a km behind. It took me a km or so to catch Superman and Tip Toe! Hats off to the set!

I gradually caught people, and we hit the canal, a familiar sight and a bit of deja vu – Semen knows these trails, and I can remember them too. Semen was long gone though and already tucking into a well deserved beer! A random circle check had Skiddy checking in a field to the right – he was whimpering like a bitch as he tried to find his way out. Humperdick came running back leaving Poo to check the obvious trail and call OnOn when he eventually found paper.

I nearly caught up with Poo and called ahead which way to check, and we ran through the last few checks. 8KM of live haring… Have to say I really enjoyed it. A great set that had us thinking for a long time, and certainly got the better of me. Hopefully live haring will take on even more! Good work Semen.

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11th November – CH4 – Belly Dancer

Posted on November 12, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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The 11th of the 11th of the 12th… Belly Dancer was in a good mood. After an early morning meet up to rescue a stranded Bangkok hasher, he set off to lay the trail with Anything. In the evening at 11 seconds after 11 minutes after 9pm, he was particularly happy – Belly being a big fan of palindromic time:- 21:11:11 11/11/12

But back to the run – what would he have in store…? Yellow paper and red paper? More confusion – this time if we got to a white cross check, it wasn’t really a white cross check, it was actually a Wimp/Rambo split. Conventionally in Chiang Mai we mark with a clear W/R, and cross checks mean the correct trail is one of 3 options. No wonder we need to pay attention to the hare brief!

We set off up the hill and pretty soon came across strips of white paper. At a circle check Skiddy found trail way down the hill to the left, while Can’t Stop Cumming was way down the hill to the right. Good efforts from her to get back with the pack. At the bottom of the steep bank we climbed back up the other side, back to where we would have got to if we’d have just carried on up the perfectly pleasant trail. WTF? Scrambling over the bank of the mountain there was actually another trail here – white strips of paper??? Who else would be so stupid as to set a trail here? Ah yes… Belly Dancer did…

Back on the ridge it was HRA leading the way and we descended to another almost invisible circle check, hiding in plain site at the edge of a field. Home advantage – I’d been here many times, so ran off to the road and found the infamous cross check / wimp rambo split. I ran off to the right with Poo, shouting for Junglicious to join us on the Rambo trail. Confusion reigned but eventually almost all the hashers followed me – Skid Mark being the exception. He had to check left, and ended up doing the wimp trail on his own. As we ran along Poo was asking ‘Are you sure this is a good idea? Belly Dancer? Rambo trail?’

I burst ahead to get the choice at the next check and left Poo to do the dummy check. Hah – it was a long way to paper there, but eventually I was on, and now it was a rerun of Just Cumming’s run from a month back. Nice – I enjoyed it back then, and breezed through a few checks again today – until we hit the blasted tarmac. No more checks, just miles of grueling tarmac. Foot Loose from Bangkok picked me off, and I started going backwards.

Finally back at the A. Better than many of BD’s runs, but not his best ever!

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10th November – CSH3 – Square Rooter

Posted on November 11, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Is Square Rooter finally mellowing in his old age? He chose a run site with a great view out over some rolling hills, rather than at the bottom of a steep mountain. With positive comments about the run being passed around in advance, we set off with the returning Horny Monkey picking up the first check.

The 2nd circle had us foxed for a while, the trail continuing across the road and through a blocked gate across the field. Duly delayed the pack was together as we ambled up to the ridge line and along the top. There Square Rooter had invented a brand new check – a circle with trail leading in 2 directions, with one trail just stopping. It was Doesn’t Get It that led us nowhere and later Skiddy that found the true trail. By this time I was half a kilometer away at the bottom of the hill. I made attempts to get back, but in the end skirted up the road and intercepted Skiddy as he came down the trail.

With Poo in hot pursuit we hit some fantastic running trails that we could really open up on. With these trails Square Rooter was really spoiling us! From nowhere Skiddy appeared in front of me at a V check – he’d found some cunning short cut. The trail then took us off in a pointless loop back to a few yards from the check back I’d already seen. Beautiful Box, Unplugged, Sticky Wicket and Big Top were all seen passing through the check back and joining the front pack for a slog up the steep hill where the hare was grinning like a toothless fairy.

HRA took a turn at the front only to get the last check wrong, and it was Sloppy Rod that lead the way (IN FLIP FLOPS FFS) down the stony path back to the A. That was a really, really nice run.

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Elevation Gain Criminals!!

Posted on November 5, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Given that everyone knows I hate hills…. 😉 Since I got the GPS, here are the biggest elevation differences:-

1) 440m – 15th Jan 2012 – The Ball Breaker – Frozen & Humper Dick. OK, it was the Ball Breaker… Once a year, I forgive you!

2) 387m – 29th Dec 2012 – Skid Mark’s Xmas Lanna Run… Remember that bastard hill? At least we had miles of rice fields to recover in!

3) 299m – 25th Feb 2012 – Belly Dancer (& Square Rooter)’s Lanna Run – Evil, evil, evil… Pure evil!

4) 293m – 20th Oct 2012 – Throbbing Ninja – Around half the distance and half the time of those above – Throbbing Ninja welcomed our guests with a truly evil ascent. One of the toughest CSH3’s I can remember.

5) 283m – 22nd September 2012 – Hollow Legs – remember when he dragged us straight up, and couldn’t be bothered to find a way back?

6) 253m – 26th February 2012 – Anything – who could forget when Anything set the run by Doi Kham? Only Humperdick did the full trail… When I got the scout report, the trail should have been 438m elevation change – which would have put it #2 had I not made my way back to lower ground…

7) 246m – 4th March – Itchy Bitchy – If I recall this was the 400th run, which Anything again had a say in… I seem to remember short cutting this and still it reports at 246m elevation gain – is this the GPS reading I stole from BD?

8) 231m – 1st January – Mr. Poo – To shake off the new years day hangovers he chose to not take us up the hill once, but twice. Behind Wat Umong, a memorable run for all the wrong reasons!

9) 214m – 6th October – Cool Balls – The outstation at Khun Yuam… I think this was all on the B->C part of the run!

10) OK, I have my sets stored too… and I can’t avoid it, one of them should make it to this list…:-
? 216 – December 27th – remember the Christmas Spirit run?
? 204 – January 28th – remember across the dam towards Doi Saket?

THIS IS NOT A CHALLENGE!!!! GETTING ON THIS LIST IS NOT A COMPLIMENT!!!

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5th November – CH3 – Frozen Dick

Posted on November 5, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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After a long absence, my first run back with the male hash and circumstance led it to be Frozen Dick and Belly Dancer… Of course I can’t forget when Belly left us out in the wild in the dark, and Frozen has a history in that area of setting 11+km runs that got fucked up – what could the pair of them concoct together???

The hare brief was brief – especially by Frozen Dick standards – and we set off along the edge of a lake to a circle check next to a weir. Of course it would be across the weir, but only Skiddy followed me over and we dispersed through the myriad of trails that were there. There were lots of good trails on the other side of the water, and only after we’d exhausted the nice trails did I check the shiggy crappy trail that ran along the waterside. Frozen had pulled a chair up to watch from the other side, so it was pretty clear I was onto something. Sure enough I was in shit, but apparently this was the trail.

We hit a road and so the tarmac began. I ran the wrong way, I ran further the wrong way, it seemed every direction I set off in was wrong… Dogs attacked, and the pack caught up as Poo found trail leading up the hill – only we weren’t going up the hill, that was just a lamely marked false trail. Back to the road where the trail was marked on the back of trees, but it was clearly on tarmac. Another circle had me way off trail to the left, and Poo not spotting the crappy false trail to the right. More tarmac!

Finally we cut off the road and Skiddy was leading along a muddy track. We ran straight past a circle hidden away to the right. Nobody was interested in checking right, so we all ran straight to the paper. Humperdick didn’t like the look of the next check, but after around 150+++ metres I found paper and called on. The V was redundant, as Poo ran over the hill while I ran around it.

Then there was a circle by a little lake / quarry type thing. It was familiar ground – Just Cumming had run us here just a few weeks back. It doesn’t go anywhere – at least it doesn’t go anywhere nice… I checked around in circles around the lake, only to hear Poo calling up the hill way in the distance… I jogged over and had a look as the trail went up. Square Rooter decided to go for it. I looked the opposite direction at the white pagoda where my car was…

I was concerned about Tip Toe, and so helped him walk back… 😉 Meanwhile Sups and Missing Link had already turned back. Kwazi had done his own run from the start. 2 days in a row I turned back at the base of a mountain after 4-5 km…

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4th November – CH4 – Angry Inch

Posted on November 4, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Angry Inch was the hare, but it seemed he did a fantastic job of delegation – delegating Poo to set the trail and run the circle! Poo decided to live hare it and asked for a 10 minute head start. Angry Inch really didn’t want us to leave, but after 5 minutes we set off in pursuit.

It appears that Poo had already broken live haring etiquette, by pre-laying trail – the first False Trail which bought him an extra few minutes. In the confusion it was Frozen Dick that ended up as FRB, and for the 2nd day running inexperienced FRBs caused confusion to reign, and Poo was surely off into the distance by then.

We all know the Ag centre well, and hares essentially have a choice – running along the flat trails at the bottom of the hill, OR going up the hill. NOT BOTH! Given that it was a live haring, the flat trails seemed the obvious choice – Belly Dancer cut across and claimed he caught the hare… Anyway, it was through the orchard (de ja vu) and along the reservoir – the trails much more overgrown than previously. Poo even managed to build a blockade to suggest he hadn’t been through.

My legs started feeling the effects of Bone Hur hill yesterday, my head was feeling the effects of an evening with Evil Big Top, so I was unsettled that we set off to do the loop around the big field which would add a couple of km to the run. Abruptly there was a circle check and the trail cut left UP THE HILL! Huh? Is Poo some kind of superman? A live hare, after 5km decides to go up the hill? Nobody wanted to check that way, but sure enough the trail went up… I’m guessing that the beer stop was up there somewhere – Square Rooter and I thought better of it – afterall what goes up must come down!

When we got back, having crawled under a barbwire fence, there were already quite an assembly at the A bucket. Conspicuously no hares, but plenty of short cutters! The hares strolled in after about an hour, and Humperdick lead the FRBs in a while after that with them appearing from all directions. I think only Humperdick actually came from the same direction as Poo. Skid Mark was DFL clocking up 9.5km! Nice run, I do like the live hare scenario, but not sure my legs will recover in time for a return to male hashing tomorrow…

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3rd November – CSH3 – Bone Collector

Posted on November 4, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Along the canal road to the Bone Residence – having run here several times before, I guessed what to expect – visualising the run up “Bone Hur Hill” as usual. The first thing out of the ordinary was as we were sent out the back gate, rather than as usual along the drive and out the front gate. Interesting – Belly Dancer put in his usual charge, but I couldn’t let him have his moment of glory and charged away at the front with Crazy Crack and Nam Ron following behind.

After half a km or so we got to the first circle, and having the pick I chose right, with the idea of crossing the causeway just around the corner. After 50m I was surprised to see paper on the left as though it was coming around the corner. I was skeptical, but what the hell “ONON!”. Straight along the road, and another circle. Nobody wanted to check right as it would take you back to the house, but eventually Leon (later inappropriately named ‘Hand Some’???) called on on. And there was the On-In… Ooops, bit of a Fuck Up. Runners were tempted to go back in, but we managed to persuade enough people to go back only to find all the walkers heading in the right direction as directed by Bone Hur.

Confusion reigned as walkers were the FRBs, and they didn’t know how to deal with the checks. We hit the hill and it was Nutcracker that lead the way up. I got a check badly wrong and ended up trying to pass Burrito Butt on the narrow trail. The trail kept going up and up and up. Damn you hares!

I lost ground on Chuckie, Poo and Nam Ron as the hill took it’s toll on me. Finally we reached the top, and I could pass Big Top, Nutcracker and Joint Venture on the steep descent to the road. The road? We must be around 2km out at this point. Argh! Knowing where the OnIn was didn’t help and the few checks there were did nothing to bring the pack together. Oh well, it was a pleasant trail nonetheless.

OnOn

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27th October – CSH3 – Slippery When Wet

Posted on October 28, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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A virgin hare – which means weeks of panicking in the desperate hope that everything works perfectly! Slippery was a nervous wreck for an hour or so before the run as he busily counted people as they arrived in the desperate hope they reached the magic #40 – which would trigger the reduced entrance fee to Ratchapreuk. He shouldn’t have worried, over 50 hashers showed up. Knowing we would be going inside Royal Flora, meant we knew it would be a flat run, no mountains and probably not the longest run/walk. The hare brief consisted of promises that we could short cut, along with some confusing new checks.

Then we were pointed across the car park in the direction of the park entrance. Cunningly the hares had extended the run by using the car park half a km from the entrance! Once inside the first circle was pivotal to know which way around the park we’d go – I got it right, left it was. Immediately I did a little loop around a garden just to get back to where the short cutters could see me.

At the next check there was a large lake, which surely we’d go around? Nope. After a few more loops around in circles we had Belly Dancer leading Big Top and others straight lining their way to keep up. The trail took us up some stairs, but at the bottom there were arrows pointing in all directions. What the hell, I’ll play the game and run up the stairs only to run around a big circular balcony while those below watched and laughed. Again Belly was at the front, and his competitive spirit pushed him to run through a check back to find inevitable trail further along, calling us to confusion as we doubled back on the trail in the wrong direction.

When Turkish Delight and I finally figured it out we found Skid Mark and Humperdick already ahead along with Angry Inch. How they managed that I have no idea! We doubled back past the temple, and again were completely confused searching for trail which had perhaps been washed away. All of a sudden it was Just Cumming as the FRB – wtf? How did he get there? Humperdick stood grumbling about the dutch windmill missing an arm as we ran through the international gardens. Finally heading back towards the entrance with Skid Mark and Turkish Delight, and with Unplugged, Plan and Big Top short cutting their way towards us.

From the looks of facebook this morning, while we were busy running, most of the ladies just went for a photo shoot in the park, posing in front of different flowers etc. Either way it was a very different hash. When hares try to do something different, it always takes some extra efforts, and is also prone to turning into a fuck up! This time, they’d thought it out, and it worked – lots of smiling faces for the circle. OnOn.

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